Deadpool's Anaconda Don't Want None Part 1

"We are going to find a way to make it through this Wade." Vanessa, Wade's girlfriend, said to him as he sat in his living room with his head in his hands.

"How am I going to make it through this Vanessa?" Wade said as he looked up at her. It was before the Weapon X program experimented on him. His skin was normal and he had no powers.

"We can get chemo treatment for you." Vanessa said, trying to brainstorm.

"Do you know how much that will cost us?" Wade asked, who was now standing and pacing back and forth.

"We can get through this together." Vanessa said hugging him.

"Yea, the cancer is only in my liver, lung, prostate, and brain. Those are all things I can live without, right?" Wade asked, his dark humor upsetting Vanessa.

"This isn't the time for jokes Wade." Vanessa said slapping his arm. "We need to figure out a way to get the money for your treatment."

"I'll think of something. But I need a drink. I'll have my phone with me if you have to call." Wade said, grabbing his keys and putting on a hoodie.

"I love you Wade." Vanessa said, as he opened the door.

"I love you too Vanessa." Wade answered, as he walked out the door.

Deadpool was woken up by a huge bright light. He looked around and saw he was being dragged to the trunk of a van on an airstrip. He saw multiple men all dressed in black standing around with guns, crowbars, knives, pipes, and other weapons to try and 'kill' Deadpool with. The two men stopped dragging Deadpool and held him outside the back of the van.

"Where the fuck I am." Deadpool asked.

"You'll be in London soon." One of the men said. He hit Deadpool in the head with a lead pipe multiple times until he was unconscious. They opened the trunk and put handcuffs on his hands and feet before putting him in the trunk. They closed and banged on it, as it began to drive away from the airstrip.

Wade sat in a booth at a local bar with his hood up. He sipped some whiskey from his glass then held it in front of him. He was thinking of ways to keep his treatment going but he had been running out of money cause of it and had next to nothing left. He took another sip and placed his glass on the table.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" he asked himself. Someone slid in the booth across from him and cleared their throat. Wade looked up and saw a man in a suit with short dark hair.

"Mr. Wilson?" the man asked.

"Depends who's asking." Wade said, looking at the man.

"It's someone who can help your situation." the man said.

"I'm listening." Wade said.

"I know who you are Mr. Wilson, and what you are capable of. I know what you can do and i feel we can both benefit from what I'm going to ask of you."

"What is it you're gonna ask?" Wade asked, with a puzzled expression.

"We have this program. It will make you the greatest soldier of all time. A super hero of sorts." the man said.

"How is this gonna benefit me?"

"It will heal you Wade. The cancer throughout your body will be destroyed."

"You're shitting me." Wade said, standing up, not believing the man.

"I don't lie Wade. Here, take my card at least. If you change your mind, call me." the man said, walking away. Wade looked down at the card and put it in his pocket. He left a twenty at the table and began to walk home.

. . .

Wade arrived home way later than expected. He walked inside his house and hung up his hoodie. He tiptoed to his bedroom where Vanessa was asleep in bed. He took off his shoes and shirt and got into bed next to her.

"Where have you been?" she said half asleep. She rolled over and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I think I've got a way to treat the cancer." he said, realizing she had fallen back to sleep. He closed his eyes and soon began to sleep as well.

Deadpool woke up in the back of the trunk, but it hadn't stopped. It was still driving toward their destination. A toolbox went flying around as the driver didn't seem to care how fast or how unsafe he was driving. Deadpool bounced around the trunk and hit his head multiple times.

"Jesus H. Christ this shit is too much." he yelled as he continued to bounce around.

"Weeeeeeee!" the high pitch voice squealed.

"Get us the fuck out of here!" the deep voice yelled.

"I would if I didn't have cuffs on me you twats!" Deadpool yelled. As the voices calmed down the toolbox went flying right into his head, knocking him out yet again.

"You won't regret this Wade. I promise. We can make you a hero." the man who brought Wade into the program said. Wade was on a gurney and was about to be brought into a lab to have the procedure done on him.

"Just promise me two things. Promise me you'll do right by me, so I can do right by someone else."

"And?"

"Don't make the super suit green." Wade shouted, as he was being pulled into the labs. He remembered blacking out and waking up in a room with two people. He looked to his right and he saw a man in a lab coat holding a clipboard. The other person was a female with blonde hair and she stood next to the clipboard man.

"Alright, Mr. Wilson, are you ready for the procedure?" The next thing he knew he was hung up by his hands and left hanging there while the two circled him.

"Um, this feels a little too kinky to fix my cancer." Wade said as the girl stopped in front of him. She smirked and formed a fist. He was punched in the stomach by her with all her force and he let out a groan of pain.

"What the f-" before he knew it another punch.

"While you were asleep Mr. Wilson you were implemented with a healing ability. Well we want to, put that to the test." the man said as he now punched Wade. The girl dropped Wade onto the ground and dragged him over to one of the machines. It was filled with water and Wade was placed in it face down.

"I didn't sign up for th-" he said before his head was pushed down into the water and held there. After what seemed like a minute he was pulled back up and gasped for air.

"You see in this place we like to have fun. We see how much pain a patient can take, for our own enjoyment." He was strapped down inside a glass case and tied down before the man began to talk again.

"But before I have my fun, I owe you a cancer free life." He turned a knob on a control panel and Wade began to feel something electrocute him and course through his body. He gasped for more air as the power was turned up and the pain was increasing. The man smirked as he brought the control panel behind a protected wall where the girl had gone to wait.

"Before we go on, any last requests?" the man asked.

"What's your name?" Wade asked, in between breaths.

"Francis." he said, going behind the protected wall. He turned the knob all the way up as the glass case began to spark. More sparks began to fly out as Wade felt like something bad was going to happen. Before he knew it, the machine blew up, with him inside.

. . .

Wade Wilson laid there, lifeless on the floor with the machine shattered around him. He knew the machine had worked but something inside him knew he was being tricked at the same time. If he had listened maybe he wouldn't have been dead on the floor and instead be alive right now, with Vanessa. As he floated around in what had to be some sort of after life he felt something spark in his body. His heart was trying to fight it's way back. To get revenge on the man who ended his life. To make things even. His heart jolted him awake as he shot up. His body now dis-formed and his hair gone from the experiments. He looked around and saw the experimenting room now empty. He knew two things. One, he wanted revenge. Two, he was going to kill Francis for attempting to kill him.

Deadpool woke up as his hands were tied above his head. He was being held in some sort of basement it seemed as there were steps that led to an upstairs, and no sunlight leaked into the room. A group of four guards sat in a circle around a table playing poker, not worrying about Deadpool since he was bounded to the wall. He looked up and saw it was a hook that he was tied to. He smiled to himself and began to drag the rope across the hook to cut it. The guards din't sense anything, as Deadpool felt the ropes break and his hands became freed.

"Fucking idiots." He mumbled under his breath. He held his hands up in the air. Waiting for the best moment to strike.