I opened my eyes and looked at the clock, it was almost 3. I'd been asleep for almost two hours. Sam's arms were still wrapped around me, but the boy had fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful and I didn't want to disturb him, but I needed to take the clothes out of the dryer. I had to move slowly out of Sam's hold so I wouldn't disturb him. I stood up and walked quietly to the laundry room. I pulled Sam's shirt out first and threw it over my shoulder.

As I dug through the clothes, I pulled out a red polo and a pair of khakis and put them on. As much as Sam enjoyed my lack of clothes, I just felt too awkward to continue that game. I finished pulling everything else out and set the basket of clean clothes outside the door so I would remember to put them away after Sam left.

I walked back into the living room and threw Sam's shirt on his head, waking him up. He stretched his arms up, causing his entire body to flex. Stop it Blaine, you can't let yourself do this. You have to stay strong. Sam looked at me smiled.

"Morning sunshine," he said. I returned his smile as he put his tanktop back on. "You know, you are really cute when you sleep. You say some really cute things."

I could feel my heart beating a little faster. What did I say? What if I let it slip my feelings for Sam? What if the things I said were sexual? "Wh-what did I say?"

"Oh, just that you loved me." Sam said with a wink. For a minute I felt relieved, it could have been much worse. I've already let that slip to Sam a couple of times, so he probably didn't really think anything of it. But there was something about Sam's eyes that made me wonder if that was the whole story or not. Maybe I said more than that, but Sam wasn't telling me. Sam raised an eyebrow at me, "Something wrong dude?"

I shook my head and got out of the daze I was in. "Nothing's wrong." I paused for a minute. It was the longest, most awkward minute I've ever experienced. "Sam, can I ask you something? If you don't want to answer, you don't have to."

"Of course Blaine. What's up?"

"When did you know you were gay? Like how did you know?" I knew it wasn't an easy question, but I was curious. Ever since I met Sam I had wondered if he was gay. Just little things that he did always made me wonder, but I never wanted to outright ask because if I had been wrong, that would have royally fucked up our friendship forever.

"Well, we might as well sit down for this. It could take a bit." We sat down on the couch facing each other and I could tell that Sam was nervous.

"Sam, if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. I won't push it," I reassured him.

"No, its fine. I should probably get used to telling my story anyway because I'm sure there are going to be a lot of questions like it in the future." That was definitely true, especially after Sam's track record with attractive girls like Quinn, Mercedes, and Santana. "Ever since middle school I had always been curious about sex and things. I had had plenty of girlfriends, but none of them had ever really worked out for longer than two months. There just wasn't something that connected right. It wasn't ever a physical thing, it was just I never felt like I would ever be able to have conversations that lasted hours with a girl. Like, what would we talk about?"

I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. Sam definitely had a point, he was definitely more of a guy when it came to things like sports, movies, television, music, although the Justin Bieber Experience was a little bit out of place. That really should have been my first clue. Sam heard me stifle a chuckle and threw a pillow at me, making me shut up. "Anyway," he continued with a smirk, "it wasn't until I started high school that I really started having thoughts about being gay. I started checking out other guys in the locker room, started wondering about what sex would be like with a guy, all that stuff. One day, a football player caught me looking at him after gym class as we were changing. He went into the showers and came out a few minutes later with nothing but a towel around his waist. We were the only ones in the locker room and he just dropped the towel and stood there naked."

Sam's eyes fell down to the floor like he was embarrassed. His voice got very quiet as he continued. "I just, I couldn't stop staring. He was really attractive and I felt myself getting aroused. He saw me looking and started giving me a little show, right there in the locker room! I couldn't believe what was happening, and before I knew it, I had unzipped my pants and pulled my own dick out. So we both just stood there watching each other jerk off."

He started shaking his head like the was trying to get rid of the memory. "I just remember watching him cum all over himself and wanting to lick it up, just to know what it tasted like. After it was over, I was so ashamed of myself. I wondered what my parents would have thought if they had known what had happened. I wanted to forget about it so badly, but I just couldn't. It stuck in my head and every time I thought about it or saw him, I instantly felt myself getting aroused. Luckily, my dad got his job moved out here to Lima so I left that school behind and never saw that guy again."

"So, when I started at McKinley, I wanted to try and put that incident and the thoughts that went with it in the past and start again as straight Sam. After the first football practice though, I was checking out guys in the locker room again. I willed myself to stop, but it kept happening. I purposely started waiting to go into the locker room until everyone else was done so I wouldn't have to worry about it. It worked for a while, and then Finn caught me singing in the shower. That led me to joining Glee during Duet Week. Kurt wanted me to work with him, and I agreed at first. I thought that being around a gay guy would kinda help me figure myself out, but then I met Quinn. I figured if I could get with her, then I would forget about everything. When she got back together with Finn, Santana helped me out of the funk and I started dating her. Same thing happened with Mercedes. Looking back on it, I realize that I was just using them to try and hide what I really was from myself."

Sam's voice started to quiver, he was getting upset. I crawled across the couch and gave him a hug at which point he started to cry. "Its okay Sam. Its okay. We all do things for reasons that we don't realize until later. Its just part of being human."

Sam's crying began to stop, and he looked up at me and sniffed. "I know, but I just feel so bad for using them like that. That shouldn't happen to anybody."

"Sam, listen. We all feel like that sometimes. I felt like that after cheating on Kurt. Its normal. It makes us a stronger person once we figure out why we really do things, and we apply those lessons later in life and we can be happy then."

Sam finally started to smile a little bit. "I know Blaine. I'm just afraid of what they are going to say when they find out I'm gay."

"All three of them will still love you Sam. If anything, they will be proud of you for accepting who you are. And when you do tell them, I'll be there to back you up." Sam's face lit up and he pulled me back in for another hug.

"Blaine you really are the best, you know that?" I laughed and patted him on the back. "Speaking of Kurt, what about you man? Have you been doing better since Friday?"

"Actually yes. I've been doing a lot better, I just wish I could talk to him. I won't be able to move past it until I do. I just want to be friends with him again, I can't stand not talking to him anymore. He was my best friend and we both learned so much from each other."

Tears started to well up in my eyes and Sam put his hand on my shoulder. "Well why don't you call him up now? Isn't he going back to New York soon? This might be your last chance for a while." It was cute seeing Sam so worried about me, but I wasn't sure if I was quite ready to face him. The last time I'd seen him, I'd nearly killed myself. But maybe Sam was right, maybe we did need to have a chat.

I picked my phone up from the table and sent a text to Kurt.

Blaine: Hey, can you meet me at The Lima Bean in like, 15? I'd love to see you before you go back to New York.

I looked up from my phone and Sam had a big grin on his face. "You're facing your fears Blaine, I'm proud of you for that."

I didn't expect Kurt to text back. I put on a fake smile and murmured a thank you to Sam. I wasn't sure if texting him was a smart idea after I did it. Kurt could easily say no and that would be worse than having to talk to him in my opinion.

I felt my phone vibrate and my heart stopped for a moment. I looked at my phone, and sure enough Kurt had texted back. I almost didn't want to open it in the fear of being rejected. I took a deep breath and opened the message.

Kurt: Sounds great.