A/N: I enjoyed writing this chapter and I think it's one of my favorites. I hope everyone enjoys it as well ^^. Thank you for all the reviews last chapter! And a big thanks to everyone reading. And on that note, please be sure to read the authors note at the end of this chapter :)

Warnings: Language, dash of violence

Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji

Leaves danced along the sidewalk as the wind caressed the trees with its touch, brushing against the leaves and sending more to scatter down on the ground with the rest. They moved across the sidewalk littered with gum and cigarette butts as they swirled around the legs of the benches while others were crunched under feet.

Ciel watched them skirt around, his head propped against his knuckles will his other hand curled around a coffee cup. A soft sigh left his mouth and he shifted as someone sat across from him at the table. "Poor leaves. They live such a short and fun life on those branches before they fall and are forgotten about, crushed and torn apart in an instant."

Elizabeth snorted. "Well aren't you a little ray of sunshine today," she stated and brought her coffee to her lips. "What's got you in such a gloomy mood? Classes have already started, so it can't be the start of the term and last I checked, this is your last term so you should be rather happy with that. Leaving me all alone to finish the spring term by myself, thanks for that."

"You'll live," Ciel murmured and turned to glare at Elizabeth as she smacked him on the arm. "What was that for?" He asked.

"Don't ask me that, Ciel Phantomhive, you know exactly what that was for. You've been moping for the past few weeks and it's only gotten worse as the days go on." Elizabeth pushed her coffee cup to the side. "So tell me, what has you in such a foul mood today?"

Ciel shook his head and looked out the window again, watching the students walk by outside. "I don't want to talk about it," he answered. He knew he was sulking but he couldn't help it. It had been a month; a month, since Sebastian vanished and Ciel hadn't seen so much of a shadow from the man.

The first week after Sebastian's disappearance, Ciel had searched high and low for the man. He went back to the DIE set only to find it empty, as he had expected; Sebastian had said that they would be finished filming soon. It had still been worth a try though and once there, Ciel had torn apart the building looking for a hint, anything that would tell him where Sebastian went.

But the building was cleaned out, just as the first set had been all those months ago and Ciel was left with nothing. No papers were left, no books or scripts, not even a piece of trash was left behind. The rooms were spotless and Ciel realized exactly how thorough Sebastian was in making sure that everything was cleaned up when they left.

It was frustrating for Ciel, who simply wanted to find Sebastian but at the same time, he had to admit that he was proud of the older male and his company for being able to vanish so quickly and efficiently. DIE was a large company and to pull off a vanishing act like that within a matter of days was an amazing feat.

However, with DIE's disappearance, Ciel was left with nothing and he didn't know where to start. At one point in time, Ciel made his way back to the grocery store, hoping that Finny would be able to tell him where Sebastian was. But after searching the store for the man, Ciel couldn't find him and had to ask someone when he would be coming in. They had informed him that Finny had quit almost a month ago, leaving Ciel with nowhere else to turn.

Claude wasn't talking to him and the few times they had seen each other, had looked away and given Ciel the cold shoulder. The gesture hadn't hurt at all, a sign that Ciel was indeed over his petty crush and he was glad to put the man behind him.

It didn't get him any closer to finding Sebastian, but at least when he did; Ciel could honestly say that Claude was behind him. Their interactions so far had been strictly professional and Ciel planned to keep it that way. Just the thought of Claude touching him or promising pleasure was enough to make Ciel's stomach churn and his skin crawl.

But with Ciel sitting at a dead end in the 'Sebastian disappearance', it left him with nothing but time on his hands. Time that had allowed Ciel to sit and mull over everything that had happened, letting the anger that had been suppressed earlier to bubble and build until it threatened to spill over. In the end, that anger had reached its peak and Ciel found that he was more angry then depressed.

Sebastian had lied to him, strung him along like a puppet the whole time while never once saying a word. All along, Sebastian had been Master and had yearned for Ciel just as much as Ciel had lusted for Claude. And when the chance came, Sebastian took the opportunity that had been dropped in his lap and had used him to act out some sick fantasy.

All those times Master had scolded him for being cruel to Sebastian, telling him to give Sebastian a chance; that had been nothing but the older male subtly pushing Ciel towards him. If Ciel thought about it that way, he was tricked into falling for Sebastian. At that thought, Ciel had burned with anger for Sebastian and he felt sick.

Had any of it been real? On both their parts? Or had Ciel simply believed that he was falling for Sebastian because of the promptings of Master, pushing him in that direction. That thought had been dismissed quickly though as Ciel knew it wasn't true. Yes, Master had urged him to apologize but Ciel had been somewhat, slightly interested in Sebastian before then. If only a little.

And the more Ciel had thought about it, the more he had to admit that even if Master hadn't scolded him for his actions, Ciel still would've apologized to Sebastian. Because that day Ciel had yelled at Sebastian, he had felt bad and knew that he needed to apologize. His resolve had only strengthened when Master had snapped at him.

The whole situation was confusing though and several times, Ciel would lie awake at night with a pulsing headache as he tried to sort everything out. He couldn't tell Elizabeth what was going on, because that meant telling her that he knew who owned DIE and was receiving sexual pleasure from him. That alone wouldn't be too big of a deal if it hadn't been for the fact that Ciel also happened to love the man's alter ego.

That being said, which Sebastian was the real one? The Sebastian that Ciel saw during the day, or the one he went to at night? No matter which way Ciel looked at it, Sebastian had three personalities. The one he had to show in public, the one he kept hidden in the shadows, and then the one that Ciel saw during their time they spent together.

The first personality was Ciel's least favorite and he knew that that one was just an act. But what about the last two? That question had been on Ciel's mind for the past few weeks, slowly driving him insane. He wanted to believe that they were both Sebastian and a part of him said that that he was right, but there was still a small part that doubted it.

Letting out a long sigh, Ciel glanced back at his coffee and then to Elizabeth who was still watching him carefully. "What if you met someone who you thought you knew, but turned out, you really didn't know at all?" He asked.

Green eyes blinked at him. "This game won't work on me, Ciel," Elizabeth said. "You can't go around and play the 'this person did this and he was really that.' It gets confusing without names and makes it harder to follow. So spit it out. I can't help you unless you do that first."

Ciel groaned and rubbed his temples. "I want to, I really do but the current situation doesn't allow for me to tell you names."

Elizabeth clicked her tongue. "Then tell me what you can and improvise as you go. This is obviously tearing you up and I know one thing at least. It's about this Sebastian person that you seemed to like so much."

Nodding, Ciel curled his fingers around the coffee cup. "Yeah, it's about him. You know that he's not the most attractive person and when I first started to see him, I didn't like him. But his personality drew me in and despite his looks, I wanted him over Claude." He took in a deep breath. "But there was another person, someone other than Claude and Sebastian. I only knew his voice but it was enough to pull me in."

For a second, Elizabeth just stared at him and Ciel could feel a funny tickle in his stomach that she was already piecing things together. Or was about to chew him out for getting into a situation with someone he didn't even know. Either way, Ciel would have to do some explaining. Slowly, she nodded and Ciel could see her thoughts racing behind her mind.

"The person behind the voice was really Sebastian and you found out a month ago," she said carefully, testing her theory out on her tongue. "And now you don't know what to think."

Ciel nodded. "You're good," he murmured. "I don't know which Sebastian is the real one. The one that I spent all that time with or the one with the voice. How do I know I fell for the right one?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "You are so helpless when it comes to romance, Ciel," she teased. "Both of them are still Sebastian, so you can stop worrying about that. One was just his personality and the other was his voice. You said the only thing you knew about the 'other' Sebastian was his voice and while it was nice, you didn't fall for that. You fell for the Sebastian that you saw every day and spent time with. That's the real Sebastian, he showed it to you in hopes that you would fall for it and you did. You knew him all along, so don't doubt that at all."

Ciel glanced to the side and tapped his finger against the side of his cup. That answered one question that had been burning in his mind and was probably the most important. He wanted to know that the Sebastian he fell for was still the same Sebastian. The man did have several lives that he lived but Elizabeth was right.

Sebastian had showed him the truth when they spent time together and even the times they spent together during their sessions. The older man had always been considerate of him when he could have easily taken advantage of Ciel. Because in the end, it was Ciel who had agreed to their deal and not Sebastian. Sebastian didn't force it on him, nor did he ever force anything onto him.

It showed how much Sebastian cared for him and Ciel let out a sigh of relief. He was still mad at Sebastian for even suggesting a deal like that in the first place when he knew who Ciel was but for now, the simple knowledge that Sebastian had cared for him was enough to placate Ciel. Eventually, Sebastian would come back from his break and Ciel would be able to talk to the man, and ask the last question burning in his mind. But for now, he would have to wait.

"Thank you, Elizabeth," Ciel murmured and sipped at his coffee. "I don't know what I would do without you sometimes."

"I still want to meet him, you know," Elizabeth said with a small smile. "It's obvious that despite everything, you still care for him and want him. You can't hide that, it's in your eyes, Ciel. I think you might even love him."

A small flush settled on Ciel's cheeks. "The thought had crossed my mind," he stated and crossed his arms on the surface of the table. "And I think he felt the same way too, but I really messed things up. He was touching me and singing in my ear. I thought it was Claude and called him as such."

A small 'O' formed on Elizabeth's mouth and Ciel winced at the sight. "I'm sure that didn't go over well," she said finally. "But I'm sure he's miserable without you. It sounds like you two really cared for each other in the end. He'll come back around." There was a smile on her face as she spoke and her tone light and happy, making Ciel want to believe those words.

He returned the smile as his phone started to vibrate across the table and Ciel picked it up, glancing at the caller ID. "Sorry, it's my father, I have to take this," Ciel said, holding up the phone. Elizabeth nodded at him and stood up to throw her coffee cup away while Ciel answered the phone. "Hello father."

"Are you busy right now, Ciel?" Vincent asked over the phone and after receiving a negative answer, cleared his throat. "I'm afraid we have a small problem."

Ciel stiffened and his grip tightened on the phone. "What do you mean?" He asked. "Is mom okay? What happened?"

Vincent shook his head. "Everyone is fine, no one is hurt. But I figured it would be best to tell you first before anyone else, seeing as you seemed to be so close to him." He ran a hand over his face. "Ciel, Sebastian isn't coming back."

"Wh—what?" Ciel stammered. "But his vacation ended, he should be back. I need him to be back."

"I received his resignation letter today, stating that he was leaving the company. His month long vacation was used to set up his new job and new location," Vincent answered. "He's not coming back to us, Ciel. Sebastian is gone."

Ciel shook his head. "No, he has to come back. Otherwise I don't know where he is."

Vincent sighed. "I'm sorry, Ciel, but I think that's what he was hoping for. It seems that he doesn't want to be found; by Claude, by us, or by you."

"Oh God," Ciel gasped, feeling his chest tighten. He had been clinging to the hope of talking to Sebastian when he came back and now that hope was shattered. A beep in his ear alerted him that someone was on the other line and he muttered goodbye to his father before switching over. "Hello?"

"My brother quit," Claude hissed on the other line. "Did you know that, Ciel? He just quit his job. I have no idea where he is, what he's doing, who he's talking to because he just vanished. He just called and told me himself."

Ciel scowled. "And what do you want me to do about it?" He asked. "You were the one who put all those rules on him. He saw a chance to run and took it. I don't blame him."

Claude grunted. "He's not free though. He still can't access his funds that Tanaka left him and he can't get a job with anyone, I made sure of that. He'll have no choice but to come crawling back to me when he runs out of money and then I'll make sure that he never thinks about leaving again. I'll break his fucking legs if I have to."

"And I told you before that you will not lay a hand on him," Ciel snapped. "If he's vanished, it means he doesn't want anyone to find him, ever. That means he won't be doing anything to draw attention to himself so your popularity and fame are safe. Just forget about him, Claude, it's the best thing for you."

There was a low growl on the other end before Claude hung up and Ciel let out a long sigh. Elizabeth gave him a concerned look but Ciel waved it away as he stood up. Right now, he just wanted to drive and clear his head. He was done for the day with his classes and the day was over, there was nothing else to do.

"I need to go," he said and grabbed his bag. "I have to get some fresh air."

Elizabeth looked at him. "Are you sure about that, Ciel? You don't look too well and it could be dangerous for you to drive like this."

Ciel shook his head. "I'm fine. I'll call you tonight when I get back so you know I made it home safely." He tossed his cup into the trashcan along with the rest of his garbage. "I'll see you tomorrow in class."

He gave a small wave to the female before shoving his hands into his lightweight jacket and leaving the student union. The air was crisp as the sun set, signaling that fall would soon be on them as it was almost September. Ciel thought Sebastian would be back by now and to know that the older male was lost forever to him was a hard pill to swallow.

"It's not fair," he whispered as he unlocked his car and climbed in. All he needed was one chance to apologize to Sebastian and hope to make everything right. Ciel didn't even want to think about how much sleep he lost the first week or two after Sebastian left. No doubt, Ciel wouldn't be able to sleep for a while because of this as well.

The car moved easily out of the parking lot and Ciel guided it down the road. He wasn't in the mood to go home just yet and just wanted to drive so he could clear his head. Things weren't turning out the way he had hoped and Ciel could feel the frustration mounting as he moved down the road. He didn't know where he was going, but anywhere would be good.

It didn't take long before Ciel found himself passing the amusement park that was near the docks, it was a favorite place year round with the college students and Ciel had been there several times. It was still open and Ciel glanced at the tall rides that towered over him, wondering if it would be worth the admission fee to go inside and lose himself in the fast rides.

It was an interesting idea and Ciel lowered his gaze back to the road, already moving in the direction of the parking lot. A small mass of people passed him on the sidewalk and Ciel glanced at them briefly before looking back at the light he was approaching, willing it to turn green. His head snapped back in the direction of the crowd and Ciel slammed on the brakes, his eyes darting quickly over the crowd.

There. Ciel would know that head of black hair anywhere and his heart pounded painfully against his chest. There, walking with the mass of people was none other than Sebastian, looking at ease as he walked with the people around him and, Ciel realized, was dressed rather attractively. Gone was the baggy suit, replaced instead with a better fitting one and Ciel gave an appreciative hum at the sight.

A car horn blared at him from behind, making him jump. He quickly flicked the driver off behind him before swerving out of the turn lane he had been in and back into traffic. As much as Ciel wanted to yell at Sebastian from the car, he knew that the older male would just vanish. Sebastian didn't want to be found and Ciel needed to know where he was going before confronting him.

No doubt, Sebastian was going to the new location for the shoot and if Ciel could find that, then he would know where Sebastian was for at least a month or so. They couldn't change their location and script just because of him.

But Sebastian was moving on foot and Ciel was about to overtake him in the car, and that would lead to all sorts of problems right now. He scanned the area before finding a nearby parking lot that was used during the summer when the docks were crowded with people. Ciel drove by Sebastian, making sure to stay hunched over in his seat so the man couldn't see him, and parked in the first available spot.

Once the car was locked, Ciel waited patiently for Sebastian to pass by before he started to move. It was a familiar motion, of following Sebastian, and Ciel was quick to fall into the pattern. Hang back for a while to make sure Sebastian didn't see him before slowly getting closer. It was a game of cat and mouse, where Ciel was the cat and Sebastian was the mouse.

They turned towards the ocean and Ciel hung back a bit farther to let Sebastian get a bigger head start before trotting after him. Near the docks, there was a lone cruise ship resting innocently in the water and Ciel nearly choked on his spit when Sebastian started to walk up the ramp. How the hell did Sebastian get a cruise ship for his next shoot?

There was no turning back now and Ciel ran towards the ship, wanting answers to all the questions that ran through his mind. But more importantly, he wanted to see Sebastian again, wanted to run his fingers through the man's hair and brush over his fingers over Sebastian's face. He had yearned for the man over the past month, wanting nothing more than Sebastian.

Ciel's feet were silent on the ramp and he paused for the briefest moment before the door before pushing it open. It was heavy but unlocked, and Ciel was grateful for the luck. Silently, he padded down the carpeted hallway until he reached the center of the ship where he gazed around in awe at the large, open room.

It would take a while to find Sebastian on a ship this large, but Ciel had a suspicion that the man was somewhere near the control deck. It was the position of power on the ship and from there, Sebastian could see everything. With a nod of his head, Ciel darted off to the bridge, hoping that Sebastian would be there.

The hallways were crowded with filming equipment and several rooms were open, sounds of pleasure filling the hall as Ciel raced through them. They were ignored though in favor of finding Sebastian and once Ciel found the steps, he jogged up them. Signs guided him towards the control room and Ciel rounded a corner, narrowly avoiding bumping into someone.

They shouted at him, recognition coloring their face and without a pause, Ciel tore down the hall. It wouldn't take long before Sebastian was alerted and the rest of the crew found him. The stairs were taken two at a time, Ciel never slowing down until he reached the top flight, his heart thudding against his chest. He gasped for breath before turning down the hall in the direction of the control room.

Footsteps sounded below him on the stairs and Ciel sped up. He could it, could see the doors that led to the room he needed and the only thing stopping him now was if Sebastian wasn't in that room. Ciel was putting every last gamble on that hope as his fingers curled around the door handle and yanked it open.

He stepped into the room and only had time to look around for a brief second, his eyes settling on a familiar figure before a rough bag was tossed over his head. "No!" He screamed and fought back against the hands that grabbed for him. His legs kicked out, lashing at anyone who ventured too close and Ciel was rewarded with several grunts. "Let me talk to him, I need to talk to Sebastian, please!" He cried out.

Ciel squirmed as he was lifted up into the air and he twisted in the grip. He wasn't going down without a fight, not when he was so close and had made it so far. No one was going to keep him from seeing Sebastian. The hands on his body tightened and Ciel tossed his head back, smacking someone in the nose with the back of his head and the grip loosened slightly.

He kicked and clawed his way from the person holding him until he stumbled forward on the floor, his jeans skidding against the carpet. "Sebastian, please, we need to talk."

A tongue clicked in distaste. "And why would he want to talk to you?" The Undertaker asked from behind him.

Ciel didn't move to look at him and instead focused in the direction that he had seen Sebastian. "You don't speak for him," Ciel spat. "If he doesn't want to talk to me, then he can tell me that himself. So stop putting words in his mouth you bastard."

The room grew quiet as Sebastian stood up and Ciel heard him push away from the chair. Soft footsteps walked past him and Ciel held his breath as Sebastian brushed by him, the scent of cinnamon washing over his senses. Then it faded away and the door closed with a soft snap, making Ciel lower his head as despair washed over him. "No, Sebastian. Please. I'm sorry; I'm so, so sorry."

Ciel gasped as the bag was yanked off his head and he blinked quickly in the bright room. "You have ten minutes," Sebastian said coolly as he dropped the bag on the floor and leaned against the desk.

Nodding his head, Ciel stood up and shakily moved to stand before Sebastian. Before Sebastian could say anything else, Ciel's fist connected to the side of the man's face and he put all his strength into the punch. He watched with satisfaction as Sebastian's head snapped to the side and Ciel's knuckles throbbed from the force of the action.

"That was for lying to me the whole time and using me when you knew who I was," Ciel growled.

He barely had time to savor the moment before he felt his own head spinning around as Sebastian returned the favor. "That's for leading me on and toying with me when you really didn't care," Sebastian answered. "Glad to see that we're even now."

"Oh no," Ciel panted and pointed a finger at Sebastian after wiping away the small trickle of saliva that left his mouth. "We are not even. You knew, Sebastian. You knew who I was the whole and used me for your own sick fantasies because you couldn't have me outside of them."

Sebastian scowled. "And what would you have done, Ciel, where you in my shoes? You never once looked at me during the day and all of a sudden, you appear before me, at a time when I'm myself, and find my voice attractive. What would you have done, Ciel? I'm only human and when you came back that second time, I couldn't help myself." He shook his head. "I knew it was a bad idea and I shouldn't have done it, but I was weak and greedy. I wanted to know what it felt like to have something I wanted for a change and at the time, you wanted me too."

Ciel looked away, knowing that Sebastian's words were all too true. If their roles had been reversed, Ciel would've done the same thing. If it had been someone he wanted for a long time but couldn't have, he would've taken the offer without hesitation. They were both only human. "Why didn't you just tell me then?"

Laughter left Sebastian's mouth and Ciel winced slightly when he realized what exactly he had been asking. "I couldn't exactly come out and say who I was when we first met. I was supposed to be mute and unseen during the day. You wouldn't have believed me anyway." His arms curled around his body. "Besides, you would've fallen for 'Master' not Sebastian. You were so wrapped up on what people looked like that you wouldn't care about anything else I wanted. It would've been a hollow victory for me. Why do you think I always slept in night clothes after you started coming over?"

"You sleep nude?" Ciel asked, a hint of surprise lacing his voice.

"Of course, it's more comfortable that way and far cooler in the summer," Sebastian answered. "And clothes get in the way when you're horny."

Ciel couldn't help himself and he burst into laughter. He knew it wasn't a funny situation between them, they were both hurt; Sebastian more so than him, but he had missed being able to joke around with Sebastian like this. "I missed you," he breathed. "I really, really missed you."

He held up a hand, stopping Sebastian from talking or tearing into him. They didn't need that right now and Ciel would only get one chance to explain everything. "I know about everything between you and Claude, that's why I'm not surprised to hear you talking right now." He started and Sebastian jerked slightly. "A few hours before we met that night, Claude had cornered me into dinner and my father made sure that I couldn't back out."

A snort of amusement left Sebastian's throat but he didn't interrupt.

"He told me about your past and the rules he forced on you. That you couldn't talk because of him. But after that, he started flirting with me," Ciel looked down at the carpet. "I was happy with you, Sebastian, probably the happiest I had ever been during those weeks we spent time together. But I'm only human. I'm young and when you're my age, all you care about is looks, fame, and wealth. Everyone wants to date someone famous and those feelings for Claude never went away. They were buried deep inside me, always gone and forgotten when I was with you, but that afternoon, he sparked them to life again, even though I swore not to let him get to me. I knew that I wanted only you, but I was weak in the end."

Ciel ran a hand over his face and let out a long sigh as he remembered his actions a little over a month ago. They were embarrassing now that he thought about them and his face flushed at the memory.

"And then I went to see you so I could say goodbye. But for all that you don't like Claude, you two actually act the same way around me," Ciel said with a weak laugh. "You both touched me the same way, said the same things, and then you both sang to me. That memory from lunch was so fresh that I couldn't stop myself. I thought it was Claude behind me and that small part that wanted him took over. I had lusted after Claude for years, Sebastian. Those feelings weren't going to vanish in a few short weeks."

Sebastian nodded but stayed silent, taking in the words as they came. It made a part of Ciel nervous as Sebastian's face stayed blank and he couldn't read what was going on in Sebastian's mind, but Ciel could only hope for the best. There was nothing else he could do now.

His fingers brushed over the fabric of his clothes. "It was stupid of me to believe that it was him when your voice is so much deeper and smoother than his, but I wanted to believe that it was Claude for some reason. As though believing it was him would make up for all those years of chasing him and believing that he wanted me in return, even though I would've just been another notch on his bedpost." Ciel shook his head. "I knew he wouldn't give me what I wanted, because you had already given it to me."

The older male shifted and Ciel glanced up at him, waiting for Sebastian to say something but it seemed as though Sebastian was trying his best to hold his tongue until Ciel was done. Ciel was grateful for that and hurried to finish.

"When I woke up the next morning, I was disgusted with myself and couldn't wait to see you again so I could put Claude behind me for good. And then I found out the truth." Ciel closed his eyes. "I was sick after that and searched for you for weeks. No one knew where you were and I was worried. But at the same time, I was also angry because I felt used. I didn't know what to think. Which was the real you and were you simply using me for your own pleasure."

"No," Sebastian spoke quickly and straightened his body as he pushed away from the desk. "No. I may have offered that deal to you but it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted you to see me as you did in my apartment. I wanted you that way, when you were open and honest with me, not when you were trying to best me. Never once did I think about using you just for pleasure."

Ciel moved closer to Sebastian and hesitantly reached for the older male. "Then what were you hoping would happen, Sebastian?"

Crimson eyes lowered slightly. "I don't know," he answered. "But I had always hoped that you would notice me, the me that was supposed to be unseen, and when you did, it gave me hope. Hope that I might have a chance with you; that for once, Claude didn't have something of mine that I wanted so badly. But I guess in the end, he won."

Ciel shook his head. "No. I told him a month ago that we were to be professional in how we handled ourselves. Just the thought of him touching me and offering me pleasure is enough to make me sick right now." He ran his fingers down Sebastian's cheek and closed his eyes at the familiar touch. "In the end, it was you. It was always you. I never once regretted all the time we spent together and it makes me happy that I agreed to Claude's deal even if nothing came from that."

The words left Ciel's mouth before he realized what he said and Ciel's eyes widened slightly. Sebastian looked at him, eyes narrowing slightly and Ciel gulped. "What deal?" Sebastian asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

"Claude wanted to know what you did during the day and asked me to find out," Ciel whispered and his eyes closed tightly. "And in turn, he would give me a night of pleasure."

"You told him?" Sebastian breathed, his grip tightening on the desk behind him.

Ciel quickly shook his head. "No, he doesn't know anything about DIE. I told him that you don't do anything but sleep during the day and he believed me. We had a fight the day you vanished and I told him that I wanted nothing to do with him anymore."

Sebastian swallowed. "So the only reason you came to see me the first time was because you were hoping to find answers for Claude. That's why you followed me. It was all to please Claude?"

Blue eyes lowered. "It started out that way, yes, I won't lie. But then I started to know more about you. Your personality drew me in until I couldn't get away and I forgot about the deal altogether. I wanted to see you because I wanted to, not because of Claude." He reached for Sebastian's hand, pleading for him to understand. "I'm not here because of Claude, but because of you. You are the one I want Sebastian. I wanted you when I thought you couldn't speak and when I didn't know what you looked like. I fell for your personality first and without knowing it, your voice."

"But in the end, it was Claude that you cried out for," Sebastian whispered, voice cracking slightly.

Ciel shifted. "Do you blame me, Sebastian? Everything you did sounded like Claude. I had nothing to believe that it was you, because to me, you were always silent. I never knew what your voice sounded like and you sound almost like Claude. All the similarities were there and in a way, it was also your fault." He felt bad pointing it out for Sebastian, but not everything was Ciel's fault.

The older male looked away. "I know. I handled the situation wrong from the very beginning, all those months ago. I should've let you find your own path no matter what I wanted. It was unfair of me to use the situation to my advantage." His eyes closed. "I understand if you wish to never me again or if you go back to Claude."

"Did you know that Claude won't talk to me anymore after our fight the day you left?" Ciel asked quietly. "I told him that day that we were through, that he was to leave you alone or I would ruin his career."

Sebastian blinked. "And?"

Ciel pressed closer to Sebastian, inhaling the man's scent. "I realized then that it was always you, because I cried when I lost you and was relieved when I lost Claude." He reached up, cupping Sebastian's face. "It's you, Sebastian, it's always been you, since we first started meeting. I know I made mistakes and that I hurt you badly, but I'm human, you're human, and we all make those mistakes."

He brushed a piece of hair out of Sebastian's face, feeling the older male tremble as he continued.

"When we kissed and you held me in your arms, I never felt more complete and more safe than in your embrace. I knew your feelings for me then and I knew my own feelings for you. They were pure and honest compared to what I felt for anyone else, and I wanted to feel that again." Ciel smiled. "Things are always clear when I'm with you. I know what I want and what I want is you."

"Ciel," Sebastian murmured.

Ciel looked up at Sebastian again. "Do you know what I told Claude to make him hate me so much?" He asked and Sebastian shook his head. "When he was yelling at me and asking why I chose you over him, I said only six words to answer him. 'Because I think I lo-."

"No," Sebastian said quickly, his hand covering Ciel's mouth. "Don't say those words; don't say them when they're not true."

Ciel tugged at Sebastian's hand. "And don't tell me what I say is either a lie or the truth. I know what I feel Sebastian," he rested his head on Sebastian's chest, feeling the man's heart beat wildly. "I know what you feel."

Sebastian shook his head. "I can't, not again," he gasped.

"But you did, Sebastian", a voice said from the door. Ciel looked over his shoulder and found The Undertaker standing in the doorway. "Despite everything, you did. You picked a location close to Ciel's college in hopes that you could see him again and purchased a flat not too far away. Every step you did was to keep Ciel close even though he hurt you because you're so helplessly head over heels for him."

The man stepped into the room and Ciel watched him carefully, wondering what game The Undertaker was playing. "I thought you hated me," he said.

A low chuckle left his throat. "I do, but I also know how much Sebastian cares for you. It was easy to leave at first because he was so mad, but after that anger left, there was nothing but sorrow to take its place. No one wants to see someone they care about so broken and I hated you for that. Until my sources told me just how broken you were as well."

"You were watching me?" Ciel asked, his arms still around Sebastian's body, silently offering support to the older male. He could see it in Sebastian's eyes that the man was about to break. Four years of being strong and taking everything that was thrown at him had torn him down until there was nothing left to hold him up.

"Of course. I wanted to see what you would do when you realized Sebastian was gone and once you discovered who he was. Couldn't have you blabbing our secret to the press now could we?" The Undertaker said. "But I was surprised to see how far you went to find him."

Ciel buried his face into Sebastian's chest. "He was a ghost. I couldn't find him anywhere."

Sebastian chuckled weakly. "Claude grew too cocky and forgot that I could access my account when I was twenty-three. We bided our time until then and after I reached the proper age, slowly started to move everything to different accounts so I could escape his grip. He will never find me now." He looked down at Ciel. "But you found me. Why?"

"Because I missed you and wanted you back in my life," Ciel answered. "I was waiting for you to come back from your break but then my father called today to tell me that you quit. It was by chance that I stumbled across you tonight. I took a drive to clear my head. I saw you and followed without any thought. And by the way, how the hell did you get a cruise ship for this shoot?"

A smirk settled across Sebastian's face despite the situation. It was a neutral topic and was a welcome break from current subject. "I know some people and when they told me that this ship was coming in for renovation, I asked to have it for a month." He gestured around. "A cruise ship is large and has plenty of places to film something sexy and dirty. You would be surprised at where our cameras placed."

Ciel rolled his eyes and pressed closer to Sebastian. "Always thinking outside the box. I missed that and I need it back in my life."

The Undertaker stepped further into the room, his arms crossed over his chest as he brought the previous topic back to the forefront again. "And why do you want him back in your life. What can you possibly offer him that someone else can't?"

Ciel nibbled on his lower lip before answering. "For four years, Sebastian's been left to fend for himself, leaning on the people in his company from time to time but mostly taking the brunt of everything. I want to be the person he leans on now, I want to help him in any way I can. I want to be there for him when he thinks he is alone," he stated, tightening his grip on Sebastian.

The words sounded cheesy, even to his ears but they were the truth. Ciel wanted to be the one that Sebastian leaned on, the one that Sebastian went to at nights when things were too rough. He wanted everything that came with Sebastian, the good and the bad, and Ciel never wanted to let him go.

"I still can't forgive you," Sebastian murmured.

Ciel shook his head. "I don't expect you too and know that I can't forgive you just yet either. But I'm not asking you to fuck me and say that you love me right now but instead to at least take me back. To accept my apology so that we can slowly work towards forgiving each other and eventually have what he had before I messed up."

Sebastian swallowed and Ciel could see the hesitation in crimson eyes. Despite the fact that Sebastian had outwitted Claude when it came to the rules that had been forced on Sebastian, there was one thing that Claude had succeeded in winning. Sebastian was emotionally broken, his trust shattered because of it. The man would always question people's motives, wondering what their real intention was. Trust would never be something easy for Sebastian. And Ciel hadn't helped with that either.

Ciel glanced over his shoulder, silently pleading with The Undertaker to help him. If there was one person Sebastian trusted, it was The Undertaker; the one person who stood by Sebastian's side throughout everything.

"Sebastian," the man spoke and slowly approached Sebastian. He leaned in close and whispered something into Sebastian's ear before pulling back. "I think that this time, you have nothing to fear from giving Ciel another chance. You don't have to forgive him now, or tomorrow, or even a week from now, nor do you have to trust him. But you'll never know unless you try."

"I know," Sebastian said softly and lowered his head, his eyes closed. Ciel reached up and pressed his hand against Sebastian's face, nearly sighing in relief when Sebastian covered his hand with his own. "One more try, this is your last one."

Ciel's face broke out into a smile. "You won't regret it," he breathed and buried his face in Sebastian's neck. "I promise you won't regret it," he said, trembling alongside Sebastian. He would take this chance and prove to Sebastian that it was the right choice. Now that he had Sebastian back, he was never letting go.

A/N (again): I had several people ask if the story was coming to an end and I feel that it's only fair to say that the answer is yes. The next chapter will be the last one. I debated this for a long time and realized that there would be nothing but angst and struggling with emotions for a few chapters in a row and no one wants to read that in mass quantity. I don't want to say anymore and spoil the next chapter, so I'll leave it at that. I just wanted to give a small heads up so it wasn't such a surprise come next chapter ^^

I can say however, that the next chapter is long. Currently it's at 8K and I have to write the ending, so it'll probably finish around 9K. Thank you everyone for your continued support throughout this story and I look forward to giving y'all the final chapter on Wednesday...along with a sappy authors note ^^

Thank you again! :3