A/N Another update already? Yep! I already had most of this written from the previous chapter as it was going to be one huge one but it would have been insanely long and I think it works better being split up.

Disclaimer: I do not own TSOM except for on DVD and an old vinyl record.

Chapter Ten
Before I Gaze At You Again
In which our Fraulein is Tangled - An Excuse - Gallivanting Pirate - A Wicked Witch - All I Want - Ignorance - Trapped - Her Eyes Never Lie

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

"I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true."
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

"I don't believe in an interventionist God,
But I know, darling, that you do.
But if I did, I would kneel down and ask Him,
Not to intervene when it came to you.
Oh, not to touch a hair on your head,
Leave you as you are.
If he felt he had to direct you,
Then direct you into my arms.
Into my arms, O Lord,
Into my arms, O Lord,
Into my arms, O Lord,
Into my arms."
― Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Into My Arms

There was an excited hum that buzzed around Aigen as the day of the "grand and glorious" party dawned. Maria couldn't deny that it was catching on her. It had taken her so much longer to put the children to bed last night, she'd read half way through Peter Pan by the time the little ones had finally started to fall asleep.

Gretl had woken her early when she raced into Maria's room, full of excitement. The little girl had then gone off to go rouse her father to ask for the party to start immediately. After Maria had finally settled Gretl down to braid her hair, she found herself lost in thought over the past few weeks, and most especially, the days and nights that had followed since the puppet show. Maria was struggling to put a name to the atmosphere that seemed to be swirling about lately.

There was definitely the excited tension that had been building as the house prepared for the party, but there was more – an anticipation of something. It wasn't until she'd overheard Frau Schmidt and Frau Bremer talking in the kitchen earlier in the week that she realised what it was.

"Mathilde, have you heard anything?" she heard Frau Bremer ask.

"Not yet – though I won't be surprised if it is announced at the party," she heard the housekeeper whisper back, "I mean, why else would he be throwing this party for her?"

"That is true, though they barely spend anytime together – I can't see her spending any time with those children if she barely sees him! She's taken them shopping twice and that's it!"

"Ursula!" exclaimed Frau Schmidt.

"Well, it's true – don't you try and argue with me, Mathilde," retorted Frau Bremer.

Maria had pulled away from the wall, feeling absolutely guilty for eavesdropping. They must have been talking about the impending engagement of the Baroness and the Captain. After all, it had been Frau Schmidt who told her that she wouldn't be surprised if the Captain proposed to the Baroness before the summer was over. She did think it unfair for them to talk about Baroness Schraeder that way; she had tried a few times with the children and she had bought them all such lovely gifts. After all, she was a high society lady and she wasn't used to having to look after seven children.

But Maria couldn't help the small stone of discontent that sat heavily in her stomach. Everyone knew that the Captain was going to ask Baroness Schraeder to be his wife, Maria had been told her first night here, and, at the time, it had filled her heart with happiness that these children would finally have a mother again. After being here for two months though, she was struggling to be filled with the same sentiment.

She had involved herself too much with these children that she felt like her heartstrings were intertwined with theirs. It hadn't been done on purpose; it had just snuck up on her. Or at least that's what she told herself. And she felt that to leave would cut these strings and tear her apart.

I am being overly dramatic, she told herself, I am just going to miss these children when I have to leave. After all, she still had another month left with them and it would be best if she just focused on them getting to know the Baroness better. She would slowly untangle herself from them, the uneasiness would leave and everything would be fine.

This is what she told herself.

XXX

Later that evening, Georg walked into the ballroom, searching for Louisa and Brigitta. Liesl had told him they had run off to the Lunar Labyrinth to check for any monsters, as it was a full moon tonight. Walking into the ballroom, he saw the orchestra was doing a last practise before the guests arrived in an hour. The two large double doors were wide open and he saw someone outside in the courtyard.

Twirling around, skirts billowing around her as she spun, was Maria. He heard her laugh, the sound tinkling over the music. He was reminded of the very first moment he had met her, when she had been in this same ballroom and wearing that awful dress. How things had changed.

"Do you always dance with imaginary partners in other people's ballrooms, or is it just me who has had the pleasure?" he asked, leaning against the open door.

Maria turned with a loud gasp of surprise. Taking in her attire, he saw that her dress was very traditional, nothing like the dresses his daughters were wearing. It surprised him that Elsa would pick something like that at all; he couldn't picture her ever wearing a dirndl. He had a feeling she wouldn't be caught dead in anything that wasn't from a high fashion couturier.

It suited Maria though. It was soft, pretty and reminded him of home.

"Just you," she said finally. "I haven't ever been in any other ballrooms. I thought I'd enjoy the space while I could. My friend here-" She gestured to where the invisible partner had been, "was the only one free."

"If you really-" he started to say but was interrupted by Franz entering.

"Captain?" said the butler, "The formal dining table has been set for this evening and all your children are waiting to have their dinner with the governess. Also, Frau Schmidt wanted to go over the schedule to double check everything was correct."

Georg grunted, "Shouldn't she be talking to Baroness Schraeder? I'm sure everything is fine."

The butler nodded and cast a glance at Maria, "If you insist. I will just speak with the orchestra and check everything is ready in here, sir."

"Good, good," he said and turned to Maria, who was still standing in the middle of the courtyard looking at him curiously.

Well, he couldn't ask her to dance with Franz hovering around. If he even so much as moved any closer to her he was sure Franz would have spread it all the way to Vienna by the time he'd even have time to explain himself. And what would he say to justify dancing with her? Somehow telling the Austrian aristocracy, "I wanted an excuse to touch my children's governess in a socially acceptable way," didn't sound quite right.

"Well, you best go have dinner with the children," he said to Maria.

"Yes, Captain," she said and he watched her dash out through the ballroom and into the foyer.

XXX

The party was in full swing as Elsa moved through the dancing couples, greeting people as she went. She was stopped when a fan tapped her on the arm, turning she was greeted with the sight of Dame Vogel, who looked highly unimpressed.

"Elsa," she demanded, "Are we to expect an announcement tonight?"

Elsa looked around wildly to check nobody had overheard and moved off towards a more secluded part of the room as Dame Vogel followed her.

"What are you talking about?" she whispered back.

"Don't play this game with me, Elsa," the woman responded, "I know why you are here and I know what this party is for."

Taking a deep breath, Elsa said, "No, there is no announcement planned for tonight, Viktoria."

"Why not?" asked Viktoria Vogel, "Is there something wrong with the man? Apart from the obvious."

"No!" said Elsa, "And what is supposedly wrong with him?"

"He has seven children, Elsa, from a previous marriage to a woman who certainly had little regard for the manners of this world."

Elsa frowned, "His wife was a Whitehead, a very notable English family."

"Oh, she may have come from a respectable family, but she was not as proper she should have been. I mean she turned away so many offers of marriage from many refined gentlemen to go marry some sea captain and have seven children. Head in the clouds if you ask me."

Elsa had met Agathe Whitehead on several occasions, before she had married Georg, and she had always struck Elsa as a respectable and well-mannered lady.

She went to open her mouth to say this but Dame Vogel continued, "Anyway, dear, he certainly has no idea what a good wife is. Or else we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Viktoria, I appreciate your concern but Georg and I are very fond of one another and he has no wish to rush things."

"Elsa, can you hear yourself? I didn't think you were a stupid girl. You've been seeing this gallivanting pirate for two years and he hasn't yet asked you to marry him, so my question is, why not?"

Elsa didn't know what to say, it was hard to try and be reasonable with Viktoria Vogel. She was too direct and didn't like to beat around the bush. The upper class nobility of Austria liked to call her forthright and honest but Elsa knew that's because you can't call a rich person rude.*

"His wife left him with a terrible heartache and I've been understanding with his grief," Elsa said diplomatically.

"Ha," scoffed Dame Vogel, "She's been dead for years, men don't cling to memories that much, at least not normal men. They tend to cling to something else more tangible."

"Viktoria, there is nothing to discuss. I am sure my…arrangement with Georg will progress when we are both ready."

"Hmm, whatever you say, Elsa," said Dame Vogel through pursed lips.

A small, excited yell was heard and Elsa watched in horror as Georg's youngest daughter ran through the ballroom.

"Goodness!" said Dame Vogel, "Do these children have manners? Where is this governess he was raving about, shouldn't she be making them pray quietly in a corner or something."

Elsa opened her mouth to reply but Viktoria Vogel had left her and headed towards the main foyer with a determined look on her face. Leaning against the wall she allowed herself a small sigh before she put on her best, "I'm so glad you're here" face and re-joined the party.

XXX

"Excuse me!"

Maria looked around but saw nobody she knew and returned talking to Liesl as her and the children headed towards the ballroom.

"Yes, you! Girl!"

Looking around, Maria spotted a straight-backed elderly woman heading towards her. Giving the children a gesture to continue into the ballroom to find Gretl, she turned her attention to the woman now standing in front of her.

"May I help you?" Maria asked politely.

"My name is Dame Vogel and I am looking for the governess of these children," the woman said, gesturing to the von Trapp children walking into the ballroom.

"Well, you found her!" Maria replied cheerfully.

"I beg your pardon?" said Dame Vogel.

"I'm Fraulein Maria, the children's governess," Maria explained with a smile but she felt it slipping in the face of Dame Vogel.

"You're the governess?" she said, not hiding the scrutinizing look she gave Maria. "I thought you were from Nonnberg Abbey.

"Oh, I am," said Maria amicably, "I'm a postulant there."

"I see," said Dame Vogel and then she added in a patronising tone, "Try and keep these children from running everywhere – if you can manage that, dear."

Nodding, too shocked to respond, Maria watched the woman walk away.

"I wouldn't pay that old witch any attention, Fraulein," came the voice of the Captain behind her.

"I don't think you should say that sort of thing, Captain," Maria said, turning to face him.

"Shouldn't I? I guess not. I never got the hang of what I should and shouldn't say," he said thoughtfully and then added, "I better go join the fun."

Maria replied cheerfully, "I'm sure you'll enjoy it Captain, it's all very exciting."

"I shall try," he said and then, with that dangerous smile of his, he added, "And you can 'try and keep the children from running everywhere – if you can manage that, dear.'"

Maria smiled nervously and watched him walk away. Earlier, when she'd been dancing on her own, and he'd come across her, for one brief moment she had thought he was going to ask her to dance. And the joyous bubble that had emerged at the thought of dancing with him had been immense. She had been unable to tear her gaze from him, dressed as he was in his fine evening suit with his Maria Theresien cross draped around his neck. He had looked so much like the brave and fine naval captain she had been told about.

Now, she was sure the memory of him calling her "dear", albeit in jest, was going to repeat in her head. And it was a joke, Maria told herself. He had probably just felt sorry for her as danced on her own, any gentleman would have offered - wouldn't he have? He probably would have made fun of her dancing anyway.

XXX

Georg sighed to himself, Count Ziegler was talking to him, well shouting at him good-naturedly, about the joy of hunting.

"It is all about the chase, isn't it, Captain?" boomed the man, slapping him on the back. "It makes the kill that much more exciting."

"Yes, Count, I agree," muttered Georg, looking around the room.

Where were the children? He couldn't see them anywhere and it was getting to him. He told himself he just wanted to make sure they weren't causing any trouble and it had nothing to do with the woman he knew would be with them.

"Do you hunt often, Captain?" asked Count Ziegler.

I feel like I do it all the time, he thought to himself. But not in the way the Count meant, that was for sure.

"Not really, don't have the time or the inclination these days," Georg said, "Do excuse me, I must go check on my children."

He left the Count and made his way through the dancing couples until he came to the courtyard where he found Maria dancing for the second time. Though, she had managed to find a real partner to dance with. Amused, he watched as she tried to teach Kurt how to dance the Ländler the other couples were dancing inside.

"Kurt, we'll have to practice," he heard her laugh as she tried to do a turn with his young son.

Stepping in and tapping Kurt on the head, he said, "Ah, do allow me, will you?"

Nodding, his son stepped aside and Georg extended his gloved hand towards her, which she grasped with a smile.

As they glided over the marble tiles, he watched her face light up as they moved through the steps. It was so much easier dancing with her, she seemed to fit perfectly and their movements felt effortless. Whenever he had danced with Elsa, he had felt stiff and was always painfully aware of trying not to step on her feet.

With Maria, it was as though they had danced together many times before, and maybe they had. The looks, the smiles, the gestures had all been a small dance of their own that had been leading them to this moment. And as he reached behind him to grasp Maria's hand and bring her back to face him, he saw the laughter had left her face and she was looking at him intently.

The music continued and the dance brought them closer together, their faces mere inches apart. In his chest, he could feel his heart pounding wildly and he wanted nothing more than to close the distance and kiss her.

Their movements slowed and he felt like they stood there forever, like they had just really seen each other for the first time. There was a heavy tension in the air and it seemed to wrap around them, making the intimacy of the moment so acutely felt.

XXX

Elsa was searching through the dancing couples when she came across Dame Vogel again.

"Elsa!" the woman demanded. "I want a word with you."

"Yes?" Elsa sighed.

"Is there any reason why Captain von Trapp is currently outside, dancing with his children's governess?"

"What?" Elsa asked.

"Hmm, yes," Dame Vogel said, "I just saw him outside with that wanton nun."

"You must be mistaken," Elsa said, trying to not focus on the apprehension that had settled in her stomach.

"I am not," Dame Vogel replied, "I told you there is something wrong with that man."

Without another word, Elsa headed towards the courtyard, leaving Dame Vogel behind her. It must have been a joke of some kind or Dame Vogel had to be mistaken. She tried to plaster on a smile but she felt it fall the second she walked into the courtyard and saw Georg and Maria.

She was sure she felt her heart break at the sight that met her eyes. He was dancing with the governess, their bodies so close that Elsa could practically feel the unbridled tension they both seemed to be exuding at each other. It was unbearable to watch but she couldn't take her eyes off them.

In one slow moment, they stopped moving and she watched as they stared at each other, their hands falling to their sides. Elsa could only see Fraulein Maria's face, and Elsa knew that look she had on it. It was written on her face so clearly, that utter look of complete devotion. But she could see that nun was clearly confused as she backed away slowly from Georg, her eyes never leaving him as her face flushed.

"I don't remember any more," Elsa heard her say.

"Your face is all red," said one of the children.

"Is it?" Maria said, her hands on her face. "I don't suppose I'm used to dancing."

Drawing in a deep breath, Elsa made herself known by saying, "That was beautifully done." Georg turned to face her and she saw the flicker of guilt. "What a lovely couple you make."

Clearing his throat, Georg said, "Yes, I think it's time the children said good night."

"Yes, we'll be in the hall in a moment," said the governess, her voice overly cheerful. "We've got something very special prepared. Right?"

"Right," agreed the children as they all rushed out.

Georg turned back towards Elsa and linked his arm with hers as the walked back into the ballroom.

"All that needless worrying, Georg," she heard herself say, "You thought you wouldn't find a friend at the party."

He stopped, turned to look back behind him and said, "It's a bit chilly out tonight, isn't it?"

"Oh, I don't know," said Elsa conversationally, "Seemed rather warm to me."

Turning to face him, she gave him a smile, though her eyes were not in it. He had the decency to look a little ashamed of himself. Before he had a chance to say anything though, the governess was back and calling everyone into the foyer to say good night to the children.

"So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye,
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye…"

"They're extraordinary!" Max exclaimed, coming over to her and Georg as the children left, "What they would do at the festival!" Elsa watched as Max moved towards Maria and grabbed her arm, "Oh, young lady, I must have words with you."

He dragged the girl towards Georg, who was talking to some guests, and said, "Georg, you aren't going to let this girl get away are you? She has to join the party."

"No, really I-" Maria started but Max hushed her.

"Georg, please," Max insisted.

"You can if you want to, Fraulein," Georg said politely and returned to talking to his guests.

"I insist, you will be my dinner partner," Max said and then he added quietly to Elsa, "This is business."

Elsa did not care what Max's intentions were; she did not want this girl anywhere near Georg. But Max had already called the butler over and asked him to set another place for Maria at the table. The butler looked towards Georg, most likely seeking approval, as he agreed reluctantly to Max.

"It appears to be all arranged, doesn't it?" said Georg, his tone too casual for Elsa's liking.

"It certainly does," Elsa said, trying to smile.

"I'm not suitable dressed," Maria protested.

"Uh, well, you can change. We'll wait for you," said Georg nonchalantly, before returning his attention to his guests once more.

Elsa watched Maria as she gave a nervous smile and hurried upstairs. She moved to follow Georg as he started to speak to Baron and Baroness Elberfeld but was interceded by Dame Vogel as she came walking hurriedly towards her.

"Elsa, I hear the butler is setting another place at the table for the governess. Because you're friend, Herr Detweiler, has insisted she dine with us."

"Yes," Elsa said, who was watching Georg. "Max is trying to get the children into a singing festival and thinks he can get help from the governess."

"The governess can't dine with us! She should be looking after the children and keeping out of sight. She should not be dancing and she should not be dining with us. That girl needs to learn her place. I suggest you do something about it."

"I, ah, I will, Viktoria," Elsa said and her eyes drifted upstairs.

"Good," said Dame Vogel, "Because if you don't, I will. Do not feign ignorance, Elsa. It is not becoming."

XXX

Standing in her room, Maria tried to focus on breathing. Normally it wasn't something she needed to focus on, her body was usually pretty good at doing it on its own – after all, it had a lot of practice. But, lately, it seemed to be having trouble.

Earlier this evening, she had thought the Captain was going to ask her to dance and she had been filled with secret delight at the thought. She had pushed the thought away and it had been forgotten. But then, while she had been trying to show Kurt how to dance the Ländler, he had stepped in, offered his white-gloved hand to her and the delight had returned.

Nothing had prepared her for the sheer pleasure of dancing with a real person of the correct height. And now that she could reflect on it, she knew the joy had been because it was him. Her joy had been short lived as they had danced further, the dance requiring them to become closer and closer, giving way to some other feeling. And then he had looked at her and she had forgotten to breathe.

She had seen the look that he gave her before, albeit only briefly. But this time, his face had been so close to hers and the intensity of his eyes had been so overwhelming. All she had wanted was for him to kiss her in that moment. And that thought, that terribly delicious and sinful thought, had scared her. And not just because she had thought it but also because in his eyes, she thought she could see that he wanted to.

Maria must have been mistaken though. It was all due to the excitement with the party and the music. He couldn't possible care for her at all, could he? She tried to rationalise it to herself as the she begun to undress but the small bubble of hope was still there. After all, she was going to be a nun; she shouldn't be harbouring a crush for a decorated naval captain. And that's all it was, a silly crush. She was no better than Liesl, with her head in the clouds.

There was a knock at her door as she half way out her dress and she turned to see the Baroness standing there. Maria tried to swallow the immediate guilt and shame that she felt for the way her mind was behaving.

"I thought you could use some help, dear," the Baroness said.

"It's very kind of you to offer to help me, Baroness," Maria replied.

"I'm delighted, Maria."

"I really don't think I have anything that would be appropriate," Maria said as she stepped out her dress and lay it on her bed.

"Now, where is that lovely little thing you were wearing the other evening…" said the Baroness as she moved towards Maria's wardrobe. "… When the Captain couldn't keep his eyes off you."

Maria paused in between buttoning her dress on the hanger and asked, "Couldn't keep his eyes off me?" She suddenly couldn't breath again.

"Come, my dear, we are women," the Baroness said and Maria heard her open the wardrobe closet, "Let's not pretend we don't know when a man notices us. Here we are."

The Baroness had taken the blue chiffon dress she had made for the puppet show and put it on the bed. Unable to look at her, Maria walked towards the window.

"The Captain notices everybody and everything," Maria said, repeating the words Max had said to her the day after the puppet show.

"There's no need to feel so defensive, Maria," she heard the Baroness say. "You are quite attractive you know. The Captain would hardly be a man if he didn't notice you."

Was this true? It had to be a joke, surely, and so Maria said, "Baroness, I hope you're joking."

Shaking her head, the Baroness said, "Not at all."

"But I've never done a thing to-" Maria tried to plead.

"But you don't have to, my dear," the Baroness interjected. "There's nothing more irresistible to a man than a woman who's in love with him."

"In love with him?" Maria repeated, her brain unable to process what the Baroness was saying.

"Of course," she said, "But what makes it so nice is that he thinks he's in love with you."

"But, that's not true," Maria said, gesturing to the Baroness. The Captain was going to marry the Baroness, wasn't he?

"Surely you've noticed the way he looks into your eyes." Maria felt her heart speed up and the Baroness continued, "And, you know, you blushed in his arms while you were dancing just now."

Maria covered her face at this as the traitorous blush returned. She didn't know what to do, or what to say. She felt trapped.

"Don't take it to heart," the Baroness continued, "He'll get over it soon enough, I should think. Men do, you know."

"Then I should go," Maria said quietly, she needed to get out of here. This was so much worse then being breathless, she felt like she was suffocating. "I mustn't stay here."

Grabbing her worn bag from under the bed, she threw it on the bed and started to pack her things.

"Is there something I can do?" the Baroness asked as she watched Maria.

"No, nothing," said Maria but then she sucked in a breath and added, "Yes. Please don't breathe a word of this to the Captain."

The Baroness looked her and said, "No. No, I wouldn't dream of it," and turned to leave. Maria then heard her stop and turn around to say, "Good bye, Maria. I'm sure you'll make a very fine nun."

Maria watched her open the door and sweep out of the room, the door closing behind her. Turning to her wardrobe, Maria pulled out the horrible grey dress she'd arrived in and started to unbutton it.

The words the Baroness had said to her were still screaming in her mind.

"He'll get over it soon enough, I should think. Men do, you know."

She had been so naïve and stupid. Why did she even think for a second that he would care for her at all? He'd been kind to her, humoured her for the sake of the children. The Baroness had made it clear that if he was interested in Maria, it was for one thing only.

He would happily take her to his bed and that would be it, he'd go and marry the Baroness and they'd lived happily ever after. And Maria would be cast aside, forever ruined. That was certainly not going to happen. She looked at the blue dress the Baroness had put on her bed. It couldn't come with her, she didn't think she could bear to give it away to the poor no matter how much she wanted to not look at it.

Carefully picking it up, she hung it back in the wardrobe and closed the door. Walking over to the side table, she picked up a pen and paper and tried to think of what an earth she should write. The children were going to hate her for leaving. But she could not bear the thought of saying goodbye, or seeing him. She had to escape now.

After she finished the letter, she hurried out her room and downstairs in her old grey dress. Hurriedly placing her letter on a table in the foyer, she took once last look at the house before fleeing out into the night.

XXX

"Captain, Frau Bremer is ready to serve dinner," came the voice of Franz.

Georg had been dancing with Elsa, and peering over her shoulder periodically in search of Maria. She had been gone quite a while and he was starting to worry slightly.

"Has Fraulein Maria returned?" he asked, turning from Elsa to look at his butler.

"No, sir, but I do think we should begin dinner shortly," Franz went on.

Georg went to go search for Maria but Elsa's gentle arm on his stopped him.

"Darling, I am sure she just became busy with the children. I don't think we should let our guests wait any longer, she already ate with the children anyway, did she not?"

"Oh, yes, of course," he agreed, with another look towards the foyer.

Throughout dinner, his eyes constantly drifted to the empty seat next to Max. He could feel Elsa's eyes boring into him though and he tried his best to join in the conversation but he was unable to focus.

He needed to talk to her, he just had to. Whatever had just happened out on the terrace was something he could not just forget about. Her eyes, they never lied. And what he had seen had surely been a mirror of his own. While lately Georg had tried to push away these kinds of thoughts, there was no denying what he had seen. The desire in her eyes had been striking, like he'd been pierced. He had to talk to her. He just needed to know. It was entirely selfish, especially when he thought to consider Elsa, which just made him feel even guiltier.

Finally the night was closing to an end as he said goodbye to the multitude of guests. He looked over to clock and saw it was nearly midnight. There was no way he could go into the governess room and demand to speak with her at this time of night.

After saying goodnight to Elsa and Max, he headed for his room but was stopped on the stairs by Frau Schmidt.

"Oh, Captain," she said, hurrying after him. "There was a letter on the table, I think a guest must have left it. Do you want it now?"

"Huh?" Georg said, still lost in thought, "Oh, um, no it can wait until morning. I'm sure it is just congratulations for the children's little performance tonight."

"Yes, sir," said the housekeeper as she bustled away.

A/N I was tempted to make this AU but I am going to stick to the canon progression of events. I once again apologise to anyone who is not part of the Baroness Fan Club.

Also, when I picture Dame Vogel I envision Maggie Smith (don't get me wrong, I adore her utterly) but she's who I picture when I write her haha

*Based on this quote: "In the same way that the really rich can never be mad (they're eccentric), so they can also never be rude (they're outspoken and forthright)." ― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

* Chapter title is the song "Before I Gaze At You Again" sung by Julie Andrews from the musical Camelot.