Nicky let herself into the apartment, her voice booming and sarcastic.

"Well, well, well... If it isn't Litchfield's power couple."

Alex was sitting on the back of the couch, her legs crossed in front of her. Piper was standing in front of her, hands rubbing her wife's arms. They stopped talking when Nicky came in and Alex rolled her eyes.

"Remind me why we gave you a key."

"Remind me why I'm going house hunting with you."

Alex and Piper had put their apartment on the market and were looking for a brownstone to move their expanding family into.

"Because I'm married to a Park Slope narcissist who's going back into her natural habitat and I need reinforcements."

Piper smacked Alex's arm, "Hey! I'm mostly reformed. And Nicky's a spoiled rich kid too."

"She's enough of a degenerate to cancel out her upbringing."

Alex moved from the couch and Piper got Jack from his room where he'd been napping in his crib. They followed Nicky to the elevator, getting off on the garage level and walking towards the Vause SUV.

"I'll drive," Nicky held her hand out to Alex, waiting for the keys.

"No thanks," Alex pushed Nicky's hand away.

Nicky smirked, "Think I'll make you car sick?"

"That and you're a shitty driver."

"Bet you lunch I'm not."

"I'd rather pay for lunch."

"I dare you to let me drive."

Alex stopped in her tracks and Nicky stuck her hand back out.

"God, no Alex. Don't give in to that stupid bet thing!" Piper whined.

Alex hesitated, then quickly fished her keys from her pocket and handed them to Nicky.

"You're so weak!" Nicky cackled and yanked the keys out of Alex's grasp.

x

The GPS announced that they had arrived at the address of the first open house they were going to look at that day. Nicky pulled over, and onto the curb, putting the car in park.

"Jesus fuck, Nicky!" Alex yelled, "Give me the keys, you're done!"

Piper got Jack out of his car seat and hopped out of the car quickly.

Nicky laughed, "Okay, okay. So maybe I'm a little rusty."

She handed Alex the keys.

"A little rusty?!" Alex yelled, "The passenger tire is on the sidewalk! I'm on a fucking slant!"

Nicky held her hands up and got out of the car. Alex took her seat, muttering under her breath. Nicky didn't catch all of it but she heard 'reckless' and 'sick' in Alex's rant.

Alex pulled the SUV off the curb and out of its parking spot quickly before traffic could start up again, parallel parking it smoothly between the two cars Nicky had driven them towards at such a ridiculous angle.

Alex walked back to her wife and best friend that were waiting off to the side.

"I don't see any difference," Nicky said. She cackled again when Alex's eyes shot daggers at her.

"You're done. No more putting my kid's life in danger," Alex stuffed the keys back into her pocket, "I'm not even gonna want lunch at this rate."

Piper laughed too and rubbed Alex's back, "She get you car sick?"

"We weren't in there long enough for that, luckily."

"All those books you read make you so melodramatic," Nicky said, a smirk on her face.

Several people were already inside looking around the brownstone.

Piper's phone rang, "It's Polly. You guys go, I'll catch up in a bit."

Piper went back outside to answer the call while Alex and Nicky walked in, Jack holding Alex's hand and walking by her side since he was now awake.

Nicky whistled when they walked in, "Pretty swanky."

Alex groaned, "I hate looking like some pretentious douche bag."

"I've seen pictures of you and Piper 15 years ago, your place was huge and your shit was expensive as fuck."

Alex smirked, "Yeah, but I didn't look like a pretentious douche bag."

Nicky laughed, "Sure. Maybe a trust fund hipster asshole."

Alex's deep booming laugh echoed around them, "I'll take that over pretentious douche bag."

Alex had always attracted attention. Her good looks, body, rockabilly style, tattoos, voice, and confidence drew people in. She didn't notice staring or gawking and Piper was used to the effect her wife had on people, but it still made Nicky's eyes roll and a mock gag any time she saw the ripple effect of shock and awe when Alex entered a room.

"Holy fuck dude," she whispered, "that chick is eyeing you so hard I'm surprised you can't feel it."

Alex laughed again and started exploring the brownstone, ignoring Nicky's comment and not caring to look and see who was watching her.

"She's kinda hot," Nicky whispered again.

Alex was going to tell Nicky to fuck off but Jack dropped her hand and pulled on her pant leg.

She looked down at him, her eyebrow arched questioningly, "Yes, son?"

"Up," he said and held his arms up waiting for her to lift him.

Alex placed him on her hip and his thumb automatically went in his mouth.

"Oh shit, she's coming over!"

Alex quickly turned her back to Nicky, hoping to avoid whoever was trying to approach her.

x

As the assistant to the realtor listing the property, Sylvia had to be present for the open house. She was annoyed all morning watching upper class couples and families come and go.

A gravelly laugh caught her attention. It was coming from the foyer and sounded terribly familiar. She walked towards the front door and saw Alex fucking Vause standing near a short woman with wild, dirty blonde hair.

Some things never change.

She crossed her arms and glared at them. The other woman noticed her staring and said something to Alex who laughed but seemed unfazed as she continued walking in and looking around. When she walked forward Sylvia noticed the little boy holding her hand.

No, no fucking way did Alex fucking Vause breed.

She shook her head but couldn't clear her thoughts when she saw the boy hold his arms up and Alex cuddle him into her side.

Maybe some things did change... No, Alex hates kids.

The last time Sylvia had seen Alex there were no children in her family. She had a couple cousins but they were all younger and none had any kids. Alex wasn't close with them anyway, definitely not close enough to be holding a second cousin's hand. The way she held him looked natural and loving, like she did it all the time and cherished the cargo on her side.

Was it hers? No fucking way.

Sylvia had to know. She started walking over and saw the short woman say something to Alex who automatically turned to face the opposite direction, pretending to look at a painting on the wall.

x

"Alex?"

Alex cringed. Living in a city with so many people she had hoped to never run into anyone she knew in her old life but occasionally someone would pop up that recognized her. It didn't help that she'd fucked more people than she could count.

She turned around slowly and saw the last person she expected or wanted to see, "Oh, fuck."

Nicky's eyes widened and her mouth pulled into a grin waiting for the inevitable drama. She looked between the women trying to figure out who had made Alex's face go pale.

"I'm Nicky," she held her hand out and the stranger shook it even though her eyebrows remained furrowed.

"We were just leaving, actually."

Alex tried to pull Nicky away but Nicky held herself in place, not wanting to give up this awkward tension she knew would make her best friend squirm.

"No we weren't, we just got here." She smirked at Alex, enjoying her discomfort, "Piper hasn't even seen it."

Sylvia's jaw dropped.

It made sense now. The little boy was blonde too, but it was much lighter than the short woman Alex was with. It was the same light color she remembered flying around when she threw a punch at the intruder in her bed.

"Seriously?" She found her voice and glared at Alex, "Piper?"

Jack looked up at Alex and whined, "Where's mommy?"

"She went outside to talk on the phone, remember?" She smiled down at him, reassuringly before turning her attention back to her angry ex who looked like she was trying to set her on fire with her mind and her amused best friend, "Let's go, Nick. Before Piper comes back."

Almost on cue, the front door opened and Piper walked in. She looked up briefly to find Alex, then resumed typing on her phone, walking towards her wife without noticing her surroundings.

"Sorry, Polly had a question about a presentation we're giving tomorrow..."

Alex held Piper's hips and turned her around, back towards the door, pushing her out.

"I don't really like this place, let's look at the next one."

Piper stopped in her tracks, "What happened? Why are you being so weird?"

She looked back at Nicky, hoping for an explanation and saw the explanation standing next to her friend.

"Fuck me."

Sylvia glared between them and spoke, her voice heavy with sarcasm, "She did. That's why she left me."

Nicky laughed, "Ball buster. I like that." She eyed Sylvia before saying, "I never got your name."

"Oh my god, Nicky!" Piper yelled.

"Sylvia."

"She's the one that punched me!"

Nicky's eyes went wide as she realized who the woman was. She had heard the story from Piper one boring day in prison while they were swapping stories about awkward encounters with exes. Her face broke into a huge grin.

Alex is gonna get some payback for bitching about my driving.

"We should get going," Alex tried to finish pushing Piper away before another fight broke out.

"Is there a problem here," a man in a suit had walked over to them and was looking at the group with a nervous expression.

Must be the realtor.

"No problem," Alex was struggling to push Piper out, hold Jack, and get Nicky to follow, "we're on our way out."

"I have some fucking questions, Alex." Sylvia was visibly seething.

"Watch your fucking mouth around my kid," Alex shot daggers at her and handed Jack to Piper. "Out." Her look was enough to push Piper through the door. She pointed at Nicky, "You too. Let's go."

"Alex!" Sylvia yelled at her.

Everyone in the brownstone was now looking at them, watching the commotion.

"This is not the time or place for a confrontation, Sylvie." Alex pulled Nicky behind her and closed the door. "Maybe we should just move to London or Belgium... Even fucking Jersey," she chuckled grimly.

Sylvia opened the door and stepped out, joining them in the hallway.

"Oh my god, no. No way. I'm not doing this here," Alex shook her head.

"Then where?" Sylvia hissed, "My boss told me to take the rest of the day off, I just got a lot of time freed up."

Nicky butted in between them. "There's a park around the corner," she offered with a Cheshire Cat grin.

"Are you fucking crazy?!" Alex growled at her, "Why don't we just call Larry and Christopher while we're at it!"

Piper had been quiet but she finally spoke in a hushed tone, "Maybe you should talk to her, Alex. We have enough enemies." She gave her wife a shrug and a small smile, then headed out, leading the group to the park.

Jack wiggled so she put him down and he stopped, waiting for Alex. When she got close he took her hand. Alex could feel Sylvia's eyes burning into her from behind.

On the street Nicky took over as leader, eager to watch the confrontation. Piper slowed until Alex was by her side. She stroked her back affectionately and could feel the hate coming off Sylvia in waves.

They reached the park and Nicky headed them for a picnic table to sit at in view of the playground.

"You can let the gremlin loose while we talk," she smiled at Alex.

"While we talk," Alex scoffed.

Piper sat down with Nicky and Sylvia facing her while Alex knelt down in front of Jack to tighten the laces on one of his shoes and ruffle his hair.

"Go play, Jacky. I'll wait here."

He ran off and Alex stood, taking the seat next to Piper.

"So what do you want?" she asked bluntly making Nicky cackle.

"I got 5 fucking years, thanks to you."

"Whoa," Alex held her hand up. "I didn't turn you in."

Piper rolled her eyes. Alex's denial brought up a memory she wasn't fond of.

"I'm sure you did and I heard you turned your little girlfriend there in too," Sylvia sneered.

"First of all, she's my wife..."

Sylvia looked at Alex's hand and noticed the simple, thin, silver wedding band and she chuckled grimly.

Piper sat quietly, biting her tongue. This was Alex's ex and she wasn't going to interfere unless she had to. Nicky's eyes darted between the three waiting for a blow up.

"I didn't turn you in, someone else did. You were in custody before I got picked up. You were a mule, everyone knew if you wanted to be protected you needed to climb the ranks. I did. I imported. It was my right to turn in those below me, including you."

"And me," Piper said in a whisper.

Alex's face went from angry to guilty. Her tense posture softened, "I'm sorry, Pipes."

Piper shrugged and took Alex's hand, stroking her thumb over the wedding band, "It brought me back to you."

Alex smiled at her before turning her attention back to Sylvia, "So no, I didn't turn you in, but I probably would have if it would've helped me. I was an asshole then, I was an asshole when I dated you. I was young and selfish and I'm sorry."

Sylvia opened her mouth to speak and closed it again, Alex's words had shocked her.

Jack came running over, leaning against Alex's leg and patting her thigh.

"Mama, I wanna s'ushy."

He pointed towards an ice cream truck driving down the street, the music having caught his attention.

"Not right now, Jack. Nicky owes us a big, expensive lunch," Alex said while glaring at Nicky.

He looked up at her with Piper's big Bambi eyes, his bottom lip sticking out in a pleading pout, "P'ease?"

"Ugh," she reached in her back pocket and pulled out some cash, handing it to him. "Have Nicky take you," she looked at Piper, "and get mommy lemon."

Nicky's face scrunched up and she stared at Piper, "Lemon?!"

"I'm craving sour things," she shrugged.

Nicky walked towards the ice cream truck, Jack holding her hand in one of his, the cash in the other.

"You're having another one?" Sylvia was sure she couldn't be more shocked after hearing Alex apologize but she felt her blood drain from her face when Piper mentioned cravings.

"Yeah, I told you I'm a different person."

A piece of her dark hair was flying loose in the light breeze, Piper reached up and lovingly pushed it behind her ear.

"I'm trying really hard to be mad here," Sylvia sighed with her face in her hands.

"I was angry for a long time too," Piper finally spoke up, "but it's done. We've all gone to prison. We fucked around with drugs, it was inevitable."

"And you took her from me."

Alex sighed, "Like I told you when we broke up, Piper is just different. Whether I was with you or someone else, I would have left for Piper. It was fucked to cheat on you, but we're inevitable."

Jack walked to Alex and popped one of the gum eyeballs off his Spider-Man ice cream. She opened her mouth and he giggled, feeding it to her.

"That's becoming apparent," Sylvia sighed again. "Thanks for apologizing. And sorry for leaving shit on your doorstep."

Piper laughed, "I kind of deserved it."

Sylvia walked away and Nicky sat down, "Well that was disappointing."

"Why would you do that?" Alex said before reaching over the table to punch Nicky in the arm.

"I can't control my hair, what makes you think I can control my mouth?"

x

At lunch Alex spoke to Piper in French, giving her instructions on what to order and what to add to make the bill as ridiculously expensive as possible. When Nicky's eyes bugged out of her head from the total, Alex decided to take mercy on her and throw her credit card down next to Nicky's to split the bill.

They looked at several more properties, liking most but not yet finding 'the one.' Lorna joined them for dinner and Alex enjoyed the time with her friends but was looking forward to relaxing with her family at home.

I guess I really am a different person, she thought.

Piper had cleaned up while Alex was reading on the couch. Alex shifted to lay down on it, feet dangling off the end, Jack sleeping on her stomach.

Piper knelt down next to her, wanting to be at eye level, "Thank you for today."

"Mhm," Alex hummed absent-mindedly, distracted by the book in her hand.

Piper stroked Alex's arm, "What are you reading?"

"Just looking through a couple books," Alex motioned to the coffee table next to them where a stack had formed, "trying to find a good baby name."

Piper smiled, glad her wife was finally taking it seriously.

"Find any you like?"

"A couple," Alex said in a low tone, twirling a piece of Piper's hair in her fingertips.

"You should put him in his crib," Piper kissed Jack's cheek. "It's my turn to cuddle with you."

"How long do you think he'll stay in there?" she asked, walking back to the couch with the baby monitor in her hand.

"I don't know, but we need to get him used to sleeping in there again and not our bed."

Alex laid back down on the couch and Piper climbed on top of her.

"You want to find out what it is this time?"

Alex pushed her glasses on top of her head, "It was kind of nice being surprised, but I don't know if I can wait again," she admitted with a laugh. "I'm excited to meet Van."

Piper stopped playing with Alex's hair and looked up at her, squinting suspiciously, "Van?"

"Yup," Alex's mouth pulled into a devious smile.

"Care to share the middle name?"

"Without hesitation, till I noticed the face you were making at me."

Piper leaned up on her elbow, scowling at Alex, "Say it."

"Helsing."

Piper shook her head, "Van Helsing Vause?"

Alex laughed, "Don't look at me like that, kid. I was just kidding."

"No," Piper climbed off her wife and stood up, walking away, "you want to keep suggesting ridiculous names and I'm gonna tell you to just go with Albus Dumbledore Vause... Hey, you can call it Al for short, like you."

Alex laughed again, "I didn't even think of that one! Little Al," she smiled.

Piper didn't reply.

Alex sighed and stood up, going to find her wife. Piper was standing in the kitchen next to the sink drinking a bottle of water, back to Alex. Alex wrapped her arms around Piper, trying to hug her.

Piper shook herself free and turned around to glare at the brunette, "I just wish you would take this seriously!"

"I'm just teasing you. I do kind of like one, but..."

"What is it, Bridget Jones? Oliver Twist?"

Alex cackled, "No..."

"Christopher Robin? Forrest Gump? Jason Bourne?"

"You're good at that," Alex leaned casually against the counter, letting her wife rant.

"Your fucking smirk is so annoying."

The smirk grew, "You love it."

Piper sighed, exasperated, "What name do you like?"

"Jean Valjean."

"Alex!"

"Fine, fine." She held her hands up in surrender to keep Piper from losing it, "I wanted to pick something Jack would recognize and I've been looking for something that would work for a boy or a girl..."

"If you say Alex Jr., so help me..."

"No," Alex chuckled lightly and pulled Piper into her arms. "Max," she said quietly.

"Max?" Piper peered at Alex.

"Yeah, from Where the Wild Things Are. If you don't like it I can figure something else out..."

Her cheeks were starting to get red. She thought Piper would like it and she wasn't sure anymore. She wasn't familiar with not being sure about things and Piper's lack of enthusiasm embarrassed her.

Piper hugged her, "I love it."

She could feel Alex relax under her touch.