{Chapter Eleven}

"Cecilia? What is wrong?" Dox's concerned tone would have been touching, except I was completely unnerved. There I was: naked, in the dark of night with barely any moon's shine to help light my way, in the middle of the sea far from my friends and the ship, with no idea if I would be eaten by a sea serpent or not. It was enough to set me on edge so I was unable to respond to Dox's call of my name.

"Ahhhh, aaaaah, aaaaah!" I finally found my voice when I felt a hand on my back.

"Shhhh, it is just me." Dox's words were meant to soothe and they did somewhat, but it was his touch that unnerved me even more so. He had wrapped his arms around my shoulders and I could feel his upper torso against my back.

"C-c-can you summon a light?" I stumbled out the words, trying hard not to tremble. I was failing miserably, but at least I wasn't screaming anymore.

"I could, but I wanted to show you something first." Dox released me slowly, sliding one of his hands down my arm to grasp my hand. He tugged gently and I kicked to the dark mass that had frightened me earlier. "Easy, now, this is where we submerge." Submerge? Erk!

"Bu-bu-but-" I was too slow and heard a splashing, with a gentle tug at my hand from Dox. I knew he wanted me to swim, but in the darkness? I was afraid and hesitated until I felt his arm wrap around my waist and pull me down slowly. I took in a deep breath and let him lead me under the water. We were not gone long before I felt a rocky path beneath my feet. In fact, I skinned a knee as I was not expecting the ground to rise to meet us so soon. Dox brought me up slightly so that my head was out of water.

"Do you see? It is like looking at the stars." His voice was full of awe, but I was too busy staring above us to acknowledge his words. All around us were dots of light that glittered with a green hue. I blinked a few times in surprise. We were in a cave of some sort and I wondered how the tiny pinpricks of light were even in existence.

"W-what are they?" I realized I could see almost clearly when I looked over at Dox to ask. His dark hair was slicked back and the brown orbs of his eyes looked black with green tint, giving him an almost ethereal appearance. But I was not afraid. My hand was linked to his and I wondered if the touch made him uncomfortable.

"I think they are little sea creatures, but I do not know." He continued to stare up at the cavern roof as he spoke. "I found it by accident earlier when I was exploring. I am glad I did."

"You were exploring?" So he was out swimming about, instead of sleeping up in the Crow's Nest - that made sense. If I could transform into a bird or a fish, I'd be enjoying myself instead of wasting time on a boat.

"Yes," His tone was guarded. "Do you like it?" He turned and stared at me, expression unreadable in the green glow.

"It's beautiful." I stared back up at the wonder above us and marveled that something like that could exist. The water was no longer cold and I was now resting comfortably upon my knees.

"You are more so." Dox's tone was soft, but I heard it and felt my face plume with heat. I replied by squeezing his hand. I was surprised when he squeezed back.

"Thank you for bringing me here." I wanted to apologize to him for being such a coward and for my screaming, but didn't want to belittle the moment and remind him of how silly I had been.

"I wanted to share it with you. I am grateful you trusted me." He was staring at me, I could feel it. "Is there something I can do to make you more at ease?"

"Kiss me?" I giggled, remembering the words he had said when I had asked a similar question.

"Very well." I felt the water stir and turned to face him to stop him, for he had obviously missed the fact that I was teasing, but it was too late and his lips pressed tightly against mine. He was inexperienced, but only a little more than me since I had only kissed Harris before this point, so the kiss from Dox was brief and not exactly something one would remember in the annals of time. I recalled our first kiss and wanted a better experience.

"Like this." I mumbled between us as we parted; I clasped his head between my hands and pulled him to me, pressing my lips gently against his, leaving them there as I kissed him in earnest. I showed him how to move his lips against mine and it was not long before I closed my eyes, lost in the moment of his touch. His arms went around me, slowly though as if afraid of the contact, and I let him, despite the fact that we were still both naked. It felt right.

"Cecilia…" My name on his lips as we parted sent a thrill rushing through my body and I would have kissed him more, but the fact that my naked body was so near his made me suddenly nervous and shy. I pulled back, touching my lips with a finger in memory of kissing him. I could feel myself trembling as I stared at the ceiling above once again.

"I want to say that I love you." Dox's words spoken so matter-of-factly startled me. I turned back to face him and knew my eyes were wide with surprise, but I didn't know what else to do but stare in mute silence as he spoke. "But I do not know how it feels. I have never loved before. My mother once brought a woman home for me but I was so nervous I didn't even kiss her, and I know that was not love, just physical what I would have done with her. I do not want just physical with you, but there are circumstances that make it unfair and unwise for us to ever be together. I do not kn—" I interrupted his wound-up talking by pushing my fingers gently to his lips to stop him.

"Umm, Dox?" I gave him a slight smile. "Don't talk. Just kiss me." And so he did.

As I clung to Dox's fishy fin, the swim back to the ship was just as exhilarating but this time I was no longer afraid. In fact, if someone saw me, they would probably see a dopey grin plastered on my face, from more than just the enjoyment of the ride. My mind went over and over the kissing that I had done with Dox in the tiny cavern. It would be a memory I would cherish for as long as I lived. His body had pressed against me with need; we melded together with desire and passion, and it had taken all of my willpower to not let him take me there in the cave; but I knew it wasn't right and I wanted that moment to be right.

I had a difficult time keeping the grin from my face as I climbed up the rope ladder that would lead us to the ship's deck. I could see the lanterns were still out, but there was just enough moonlight to see how to get up top and get dressed. Dox was clothed and waiting for me once I did get up the ladder, but his back was turned from politeness and respect so that I was able to dress somewhat quickly in the modest darkness without worrying about being looked upon.

After he had walked me back to my cabin's door, Dox leaned down and pressed his lips against mine and the action felt almost possessive. I knew better though because he was not experienced enough to feel such and so I eagerly kissed him before parting. Once I was inside of my cabin, I had a difficult time falling asleep despite the late hour because my body was still responding to Dox's kissing and touch. With him, I did not feel the same overwhelming sensation that I felt with Harris. I wondered if it was because of how passionate Harris was, or perhaps it stemmed from feeling as if Harris were more experienced than I was, so I was not comfortable with the displays of affection. I pondered it until I drifted off into a restless and troubled sleep.

The next morning, I decided that I was ready to explore my feelings with Dox, but I had to be mindful of Harris. And did I not want to explore my feelings with Harris as well? I knew it wouldn't be fair to either to keep my affections from one or the other when they both seemed interested in me, but I knew also that I would have to eventually make a decision between them, if either pressed long enough to desire a relationship with me. It was troubling to think about hurting either. I decided I would not let myself be alone with either of them until after my father was rescued. That was the safe way to do it. Not the easiest. Not the most fun. But the safe way. No one could get hurt that way. Did that mean myself? Perhaps.

But as it turned out, Dox was away during the day. The others thought he was up in the Crow's Nest, but I knew better. I stared out into the sea's magnificence and searched for the Doll-Fin that would be with us or out exploring the trails of the sea. Once or twice I caught sight of a fin and would grin, wondering if it were Dox who swam alongside our ship. It was during one of those times when Harris found me, seeking more practicing with the swords. I gladly agreed and we spent yet another afternoon working hard at training our bodies to endure the punishment of mock blows or exertion from such exercise. I felt myself growing stronger over the course of the trip and it gave me a chance to spend time with Harris, without being truly alone with him.

And as we all met for the evening meal, Dox included, I could not help but wonder if he would plan an evening swim. I did not know if we would be stopping overnight like the night before or if he would simply let me ride along on his fin. When Merry joined us, following Harris into the galley, I was shocked to see her nug doll back in her arms. How had she gotten such a replica?

"Merry?" I waited for her to sit down at the table before asking, "Where did you get that dolly?"

"Dox found Kokoi for me!" She grinned, her newly forming teeth showed through the pink gums as she did.

"He did?" I blinked, confounded. How could he get her such a doll? Had he found one at the –mid thought I realized he was a mage that could transform into a fish, if he wanted to make her a doll with his magic, he probably could. I shifted my attention to the man in question. "That was nice of you." I smiled warmly at him and felt my breath hitch as he smiled back.

"Yes, thanks." Harris' appreciation was stretched and thin, but it was there at least.

After we had eaten, I stepped away to the back of the ship, to stare out at the trails we made in the water. The ripple was interesting and since the sun was setting, the glare was not as harsh which let me truly enjoy the sea as it was. I was not there long until I was soon joined by one of my friends. I expected it to be Dox, but it was Harris.

"So, where do you think Dox got Merry's doll from?" I could tell from the way he asked, it had been resting heavy on Harris' mind. But it was not my secret to share.

"He is a mage, after all…" I let him see the connection.

"Ahhhh." He was silent for a few moments as he enjoyed the view along with me.

"Harris?" I did not look at him, but continued to stare out at the water. "Thanks for practicing with me. I feel like I'm getting better. Well, a little at least."

"Actually you do well." He slid his arm around my waist but I made no motion to remove it. It felt nice there. "You obviously have had some sort of training. Your father?"

"And mother." I nodded and turned to look at him. "You?" I figured the Champion of Kirkwall would have trained him, but didn't want to assume if it was not the case.

"Before he left, my father encouraged me just enough to make me want to be like him." He sighed, and then continued. "And after he left, I wanted to be a better man than him. And so I pushed myself to join the local soldiers when they trained. They wouldn't let me be a soldier along with them, which really bothered me. I didn't know whether it was because I was too young or because of my father."

"Probably safer that way." I did not want to say that the soldiers were probably hopelessly lost as mindless minions for some evil corruptor by now, but he probably knew that.

"Yeah, I guess." He pulled me to him, tighter so that I was resting my head against his shoulder. "But I guess if I had, I would not be here and I would not be with you. So I am glad it worked out like that." I could tell he was attempting to get closer to me, and not just physically, so in staying with my promise not to let myself be alone with him and face the possibility of forming a relationship, I began to pull away.

"I should go rest. I had trouble sleeping last night." It sounded feeble in my ears, but it was also true.

"All right. Maybe we can practice more tomorrow?" When I nodded, he smiled and leaned in, pressing his lips against mine very lightly. He stroked the side of my head a few times before letting me go. "Good night, Cecilia. Sleep well." It took me the entire path back to my cabin to calm my fluttering heart and I wondered why Harris made me react in such a way. I was grateful that I did not bump into Dox on the way. That would have made sleeping nearly impossible. As it was, I had trouble. I longed to be with Harris still, to spend more time with him, but on the other hand, I wanted to kiss Dox and learn how to love someone as he learned. It was a very troubling time, which cost me more sleep and a further restless night.

A couple of days later after successfully avoiding being alone with either Harris or Dox, we landed in the port off of Amaranthine. It reminded me of when we had first set sail and it was strange to know that my companions would be strangers to me had I not taken the ship as planned. I thought about Zevran and hoped he had made it to Antiva and was all right. But of course, being so near to Amaranthine, my thoughts mostly dwelled upon my father. I knew it would take a few hours by foot to get to the mine shaft, if I remembered the location correctly, but first, we had to see to Merry. I couldn't let her come with us as it was far too dangerous for a little girl.

"I wanna come with you!" She was not taking it lightly. "I'm big enough and I won't causth no problemsth! I sthwear!" Harris pulled her aside and began to talk to her, trying to console her, hopefully making her understand the situation better. We would leave her in the city with Kayla at the Inn. The man who was in charge was a friend of Zevran's, (who wasn't? I was finding out that the elvish man had many friends if not scores of acquaintances!) who promised to take care of the two and watch over them. Kayla was a lot less resistant to staying behind, though she looked disappointed. I felt bad for her because I really hadn't spent much time with her. We could have become better friends, but she was so insufferable at times. However, maybe that was my fault. Perhaps I should have let the past go and forgiven how annoying she was…. Who was I kidding? That would have been very tough.

We said our farewells with the promise to return as soon as my father could be found and rescued, and began to travel to the mineshaft that was just a few miles outside of Vigil's Keep, which was just outside of the city. My hand rested against my sword and the closer we got to our destination the more nervous I became. What if we arrived too late? I wasn't expecting us to have to fight anyone or anything except maybe huge spiders that liked to roam the empty shafts, but I had confidence we could overcome those pesky creatures. I had fought them before and they were fairly easy to conquer.

But what I wasn't expecting was Darkspawn….

"Watch out!" Harris yelled out as we turned one of the corners of the dark cavern, to find ourselves facing a couple of Darkspawn at rock-filled dead end. They hissed at us, but did not attack. Harris and I pulled out our swords and advanced, prepared to fight. I was afraid, yet I wasn't since I had grown up listening to stories about them. Without an archdemon to guide them, these two would be easy to kill as they'd be mostly mindless and hopefully unskilled at fighting.

They came at us with their weapons up, but it looked as if it was an attempt to protect themselves. This proved to me that they were mindless and I sighed in relief as I eyed the one on my side, the one I would fight. His black inky eyes stared at me, shifting to Harris and then Dox. But when he glanced at Dox, the creature let out a gasp. It was very human-like which was quite a bizarre reaction for a mindless monster.

"White one… White one… we does not attack you. Nor does we not hurt those who follow you." He motioned to his comrade and both bowed, falling to their knees after pushing their swords at us.

What was happening?

To be Continued