Chapter 12:
After helping his sister at Casa Bonita she started spending a lot more time with Kenny. He told her to stay on guard as The Coon would try and get revenge against her. As far as she was concerned The Coon was nothing more than a whiney cry baby who had no right to bitch. Life wasn't fair and no one ever got their own way all the time. She knew that better than anyone.
"God! He's such a fat baby!" Kenny didn't seem to mind her bitching about Cartman and it was all she talked about. She wanted to get him back for what he did to her at Casa Bonita.
"He whines when he doesn't get his way and people don't play by his rules." Kenny took her to lunch at Ronnie's Diner. She wondered where he got the money from when his family had less money than her parents.
"Where'd you get the money for all this?" She felt bad letting him cover her lunch even though they were on a date. Her first date.
"Mayor?" Kenny noticed her when she came into the diner with her son Officer McDaniels.
"Here you go kid." She gave him a fifty dollar bill.
"Sweet." He pocketed the money. "Now we can see the new Terrance and Phillip movie."
"There's a new one?" She was preoccupied with research into her weird dreams that she hadn't noticed the new movies at the cinema. There was a Terrance and Phillip movie and a new superhero film by Marvel.
"You like Terrance and Phillip?" Kenny asked if she didn't mind seeing it. He was the only one of his friends who hadn't seen it yet because he couldn't afford to go.
"Are you kidding?" She had a Terrance and Phillip t-shirt on under her clothes. "I found it in a donation bin. I never heard of it before moving to America. It doesn't air in Australia."
She showed him Terrance and Phillip dolls she'd made by hand. Big Gay Al supplied the materials.
Even the mayor was impressed with the quality. "Do you need more funding kid?" She was also one of the few people in town who knew she was Kitty Litter.
"You guys figured me out?" She was shocked.
"Blue hair, ten-years-old and your Australian accent gave you away at the bank." Officer McDaniels added.
"Oh." Kenny did tell her to hide her hair and disguise her voice. She wasn't very good at accents and her hair always slipped out of her mask.
McDaniels ignored her protests and insistence that she was fine when she handed her another large check. "Even vigilantes need to eat kid." Mayor McDaniels and her son took a table nearby.
She liked the mayor. She looked up to her and even wanted to be like her one day. After they finished their lunch Kenny dragged her to the cinema.
XXXX
He was bored. No one – not even Butters – would hang out with him. He knew he'd been a dick, but it was far easier to blame others than accept responsibility and apologise. Grovelling for forgiveness was demeaning and he wouldn't ever do it. He was left feeling hurt and empty on the inside after his plans to take over the town fell through. He was alone. Not even his mother understood.
"Are you Eric Cartman?" His voice startled him. It wasn't someone he recognised. He kept his cool and proceeded with caution. Just as he'd done before. This was almost like the time he got funding for his Mitch Conner project. Even though his plans fell through he took comfort in the fact that McDaniels' career and reputation were ruined. No one took her seriously. Even Jimmy Falon mocked her as he'd mocked South Park as a whole. He watched the video on YouTube over sixty times laughing hysterically. At least he did something right
"Who's asking?" He remained coy during the transaction wondering what he stood to gain from it. He hoped this wasn't a waste of his time.
A large balding man in a blue suit and a pompadour hat approached him. He brought friends. Other men twice this man's size flanked him. They had dogs of various breeds on leashes. "What's with these cats?"
Kitty Litter. Who else? They were in her territory after all. She claimed the alley as hers when she moved to town. The stray cats considered her their protector. They were unsettled. So far there was no sign of the Cat Bitch. He wasn't stupid. He noticed they were packing heavy artillery. They wanted something. He wondered what they wanted and what was in it for him. "What can I do for you gentlemen?"
"I understand that you want to get rid of the little cat girl." The man threw him a wad of cash. It was at least two thousand dollars.
The money peaked his interest. "Go on."
"It seems like we are the only ones who understand you boy." The main struggled to control his bulldog as the cats became increasingly unsettled in their presence.
"Who are you?" He remained stony faced. He wondered how much more he stood to gain if he decided to help them.
"My name is Bulldog." The man explained after he made his dog sit. "These are my K9s."
"What do you need me for?" He wanted to giggle. Their gang name made them less intimidating. He wondered if crime gangs like the Bloods and the Crips took them seriously.
"You seem to have the ability to create and stamp out crim. We need The Coon to be the front man so it looks like I'm – as the new Mayor of South Park – care about these people." Bulldog explained. He threw him another wad of cash. "Interested? There's plenty more where that came from."
"The only reason Mitch got to be mayor is because I put cat pee in the drugs and alcohol." He explained with frustration. "I can't get the good stuff from these cats and those collars don't come off!"
"We'll create the crime kid." Bulldog gave him yet another wad of cash. "All you have to do is stamp it out."
"What about Kitty Litter?" She bested him at everything. She was gaining attention in the media. People talked about her and wondered who she was. The girls admired her for being a heroine. That was the accolade he wanted. He wanted to be known, admired and respected. "What about the fucking Freedom Pals?"
Kitty Litter took over the headlines. He didn't hear much about The Freedom Pals anymore, but he knew they were still active. He didn't understand why Mysterion didn't care that she gained more attention than him in the media. Why else would you be a superhero? In his mind it was all about the glory.
"We will take care of them." Bulldog assured him. "You will help us. They haven't seen the likes of us before."
"I swore I knew all the crime gangs in this town." He'd never seen Bulldog or his K9s before. He could've used their muscle during his election campaign against McDaniels.
Bulldog said nothing. He only gave him a business card and the rest of his bribe. Ten thousand dollars. "This is pretty sweet."
He smirked. He left the alley quickly because he didn't want to remain in the company of unsettled cats. I've got you now Kitty Litter.