I'm so tired of sitting here scared. Of sitting here waiting for the worst to happen. Of waiting in general. Sighing, I reapply my charm and stand, hunting for a cute skirt and maybe a crop top. I want to feel sexy again… even if I never looked it. Pulling my long hair back in a fishtail, I leave my cabin. I have every day now, for meals and such. But I'm doing this for a different reason. I want to get my life back on track.
I spot Jenna standing near her cabin, the Demeter Cabin, and I walk over. "Hey Jen." I smile at my second best friend, my first being Blake of course… or at least it was Blake… Jenna knew my secret, and I felt safe with her. She was loyal and honest and I loved her. We were talking about shoe sales when Michael and Warner rounded the corner, discussing something that looked important. I turn away, hoping it isn't what I know it is.
Warner's voice booms from behind my back, and I know he's walking over. My heart stops. I didn't think it would be like this when he found out. "RYLIE!" His voice calling my name cuts like a knife. "YOU'VE BEEN PREGNANT AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!" the anger in his voice is raw, and I can tell I've hurt him all over again. Thanks Michael, I think, thanks for ruining everything, again. There's a reason I didn't tell him. This is that reason! The entire camp, or everyone within hearing range turns to stare at me. Judging me.
"What?" I ask him as if the entire didn't hear what he said, my voice small and meek.
"Warner! Get back here!" I hear Michael yell at Warner, as if from a great distance. I don't turn to look at him. I don't feel the December winds… I don't feel Jenna's hand squeezing mine. All that exists in my world is Warner and I. All I can see is his eyes, so filled with rage and disappointment.
"Rylie? Did you or did you not get pregnant and not tell me?" He asks more softly, more aware of the eyes on us than I am. Although I don't look away from his beautiful eyes, I can feel heat rising to my cheeks. I open my mouth to respond, but he already knows the answer. "Gods Rylie, why? Why didn't you tell me, how long has it been 5 months?" His voice cracks at the end. Why does this hurt so badly, I think. I know what I've done is wrong, and I'm trying to fix it! Why does everything I touch burn? I thought I was the daughter of Poseidon…
Finally I can't take it anymore. I close my eyes, escaping from the wrath of his. "I didn't want you to deal with my choices... You deserve better than this." I point to my belly, though it's still covered by a charm
"That?" He asks, looking to my bare stomach. It does look a little less than pregnant… And of course I'm wearing a crop top. In December. "Look I still care about you, and our baby. We don't have to be together but I want a part of its life." He argues, breaking my heart. Like I could bare to be around him without feeling the desire to kiss him?
"You don't really want this!" I argue, ignoring the gathering crowd. "I don't deserve you... Nobody will blame you if you walk away. You should walk away!" I yell at him, dying for him to just leave. To escape me. Then he makes it even worse. Forcing me to look into his eyes again, he takes my hand.
"Look I'm still here, I'm not going to walk away and leave you. I want to be there for you and our baby. I want to help." He tries to reason with me, his logic making sense but still hurting. He. Does. Not. Deserve. This. Why doesn't he understand that all I want is for him to be happy? For him to find the right girl, a pretty girl who won't lie to him? I love him so much that I can't bare to be me without him, but I still want him to be him.
"No Warner! Stop being so nice to me! I've done nothing for you!" I reply, pulling my hand back. Hoping he'll just leave.
"Your right, you haven't done a single thing for me at all. But that doesn't mean I have to be a d**k about it, do you want me to not help?" his voice is rising in frustration, and I try not to take his words to heart. He's right. I've been a terrible girlfriend.
"Are you saying I need your help? I don't! I can keep this baby by myself!" I shout at him, just hoping he'll leave already…why won't he leave?
"Ok so now I'm the bad guy? Ok Rylie you know what do what you want! You don't need my help? Fine!" He laughs bitterly as he pushes through the throng that has gathered, and all their eyes on me. They're watching, waiting for me to break. It's funny; they don't know I already have.