Before Will could say anything back to Sonny, his phone started to ring. He didn't answer and let it go to voicemail, but it broke through the fog that was coming down. He looked at Sonny, who looked pleadingly at him. He took a step back and walked away, needing some space. He needed to think about everything.
Sonny sighed, realizing they still had a lot of work ahead of them. "Did someone call you?"
Will shrugged, not all that interested. He looked at his phone and saw it was Zoe again.
"Just Zoe. Probably waiting on an update for the story."
Hearing about the article reminded Sonny about what he had said before he left, and he felt guilty all over again. He wanted to apologize again, but felt it was redundant at this point. It wasn't going to change anything, and he needed to try a get some kind of an in with Will so he would talk to him.
"When do you have to get it in?"
"In a couple of days. She probably won't be happy that there isn't some big story in it, but I really don't care at this point."
Sonny didn't say anything to that, not sure what the right thing to say was. Will's phone buzzed again, and this time his eyes hardened when he saw who it was and he tensed up.
"Who is it?"
Will didn't say anything, but it was obvious he was angry about whoever was calling. He immediately pushed to ignore the call and slammed his phone back on the table. Sonny jumped at the action, and looked over at Ari to make sure she was okay. Will took a couple of deep breaths to try and calm himself down.
"Hey, talk to me. Who was it?"
Will carefully looked over at him, but venomously replied, "Him."
Sonny was confused for a moment. Who was Will talking about? He couldn't think of any man that Will was that angry at except himself and…oh.
"Paul?"
He watched Will's fingernails dig into his skin and knew he had his answer. "Why is he calling you?"
"I have no idea. Probably wants to tell me all about seeing his lost love again. Or he wants to talk about the article. I don't care. I never want to see him again."
Sonny swallowed hard, wishing he could say something that would make this all better. Will seemed to be trying to keep himself calm for Ari's sake, but part of Sonny wished that Will would just say what was on his mind. He went to try and rub Will's back, but Will pulled away and walked towards their bedroom.
"I need a minute", he said, shutting the door. Sonny then heard him walk into the bathroom and turn on the water. He signed and looked at Ari, who looked at him sadly. He squatted down to her and wrapped his arms around her, unsure whether the hug was really for her or for him.
"I'm going to fix this, baby. I promise."
Will sat on the floor in the bathroom, hugging his legs to his chest. He felt like he was drowning and couldn't breathe. The water drowned out the sobs that were coming out, but he tried his best to keep as quiet as possible. The tears poured down his face and he cried out all the emotions he had been holding in all day. Who knew a simple phone call could cause all this pain? Would Will ever be able to pull himself back together again?
After spending about 15 minutes in the bathroom crying and trying to calm himself down, Will finally felt better enough to go back out. He knew he should feel bad about leaving Ari and Sonny in the living room, but he just needed some time to let some of the anger go. He needed to not explode in front of his daughter. If he kept calm, then maybe things could be okay for the moment.
When Will came out into the living room, Sonny could immediately tell Will had been upset. He hated that he couldn't give any comfort to his husband. He wanted to show Will that they could get through this and help him to realize that things would be okay. But the problem was he couldn't. Because he wasn't even sure things were going to be okay. Hopefully counseling and time would give them some peace and a way to deal with everything going on around them.
"Are you okay?"
Will nodded but didn't say anything. He just felt so drained and had no energy to do anything. The entire day took so much out of him, but he knew that they still had so much to work out. He sat on the couch and tiredly leaned his head back.
"You look tired."
Will didn't say anything, just looked over at Sonny. He knew what Sonny was going to ask, and unfortunately he still didn't have any answers. He wanted to go to bed, but knew he wouldn't be able to sleep in their bed, especially with Sonny. He really didn't want to have to think anymore.
"Do you want to go to bed?"
Will shook his head. The next few moments were tense as neither knew what to say to each other. Neither wanted to start a fight, and no matter what they said, the other would probably be upset. The awkward silence was weird for the two of them; before, even if they were not saying anything, they were comfortable with each other and could converse with just a look or a touch.
Sonny decides to play with Ari, wanting to soak up every minute with her since he hasn't had the chance to the past few days and there is still the fear in the back of his mind that Will could leave and take Ari away. He knows deep down Will wouldn't do that, he has stated many times that he is Ari's father as well, but there is still that fear. Will watches them and smiles, knowing that his daughter is happy.
Will decides to finally look at his phone and see if he has any messages. Sure enough, both Zoe and Paul have left him a message. He listens to Zoe's first, which as he figured, was asking about the article and reminding him it was due in a few days. He paused a moment to decide if he should listen to the other message, but decides he can't avoid it forever. Paul's message is asking to meet him soon, that he needs to talk to him about the article. Will wonders what Paul wants to tell him, and how he will be able to see him without wanting to tear him apart.
He deletes both messages, but unfortunately the article is still on his mind. He doesn't know how he will be able to finish the article or handle it when it comes out. He was intending on it being this great article about a baseball player and the real man behind it, but now all he thinks about when he thinks about the article is how this baseball player hides the fact that he is gay, lies to the people closest to him, and is actively pursuing a married man.
Before he thinks too much about it, Will pulls out his laptop and reads over what he has written so far for the article. He makes a few small changes, and then continues writing about what Paul looks forward to in the future. He forces himself to calmly write everything down from his notes and memory, and steers clear of anything to do with Paul's secret. Or rather, Sonny and Paul's secret.
Sonny watches Will on the computer, but doesn't say a word. He wants to know what Will is writing about, but is afraid that will cause more problems. Besides, it is close to Ari's bedtime, so he decides to give her a bath and get her ready. He is hoping that he isn't assuming too much, that Will is planning on staying with Ari in the apartment.
He decides to say something before he goes too far. "Um, I don't want to make any assumptions here. Are you staying here tonight?"
Will looks up from his computer at Ari and Sonny. It is starting to get late, and while he could still take Ari over to his dad's, he isn't sure that is what he wants to do or what he should do. Doesn't this tell Sonny that everything is okay when it really isn't?
Sonny reads the indecisiveness on his face. "I can sleep in Ari's room, if you want."
Will snorts at that word, want. He doesn't want any of this. He wants to be able to forget that his husband cheated on him. He wants to not have had that fight, and not hear those words Sonny said to him. He wants to be held by his husband and know that he is the only one loved by Sonny. But what he wants doesn't matter anymore. The reality is that they are in the situation they are in and somehow have to figure out how to fix it.
Sonny looked at him curiously, so Will just said, "I will sleep in Ari's room. I can't sleep in our room. Or I will sleep on the couch."
Sonny wanted to argue, but after seeing the look on Will's face, he decided not to. He got Ari ready and bathed her, forcing himself to keep a happy face on for her. He knew that he had an uphill battle with winning Will back, but it was so hard to keep trying all the time. He kept reminding himself that it had only been 2 days since he had cheated on Will and said those horrible things to him. He needed to remember that it was going to take some time before Will began to trust him and their relationship again. But it was hard. Besides their relationship problems, he had his own business problems going on, and he wanted to be able to just talk to his husband and find out what he thought they should do.
If they had the money, he would try to get Will to take a vacation with him. Maybe if they were away from Salem, they could start to rebuild. But he knew that was naïve to think. While part of their problem was in Salem, Paul, it wasn't everything. They needed to get back to where they were before. They needed to stop taking each other for granted and needed to stop putting their needs before each other.
He finished bathing Ari and got her dried off. She giggled as he tickled her while he dried her, and then helped her get dressed. She began to doze as he carried her back out to the living room, where Will was still sitting on the couch. The only difference was he had changed into a t-shirt and sleep bottoms.
Will smiled at Ari, who was dozing in her daddy Sonny's arms, feeling comfortable and happy.
"She's tired."
"Yeah, I think she is ready for bed."
Sonny carefully walked into Ari's room and set her down in her crib. She was almost too big for the crib, but still a little small for her own bed. For right now, it would work. Maybe one of their families had an old bed they could use until they could buy a new one. He quietly talked to Ari, telling her stories until she was completely asleep. He then walked back out to where Will was waiting, and again it was weird. Sonny decided that he couldn't take it anymore, and just went to bed. He said goodnight to Will, who repeated it back to him, and then Sonny went into their bedroom.
After getting changed and curling up in bed, his mind didn't seem to be able to shut down. What was he going to do? How was he going to fix his marriage? Will was here, physically, but emotionally he had cut himself off. Sonny could get a glimpse of the pain his husband was in, but then Will would pull back and shut down. He wanted to fix this. That was what he does. He fixes this and problems. He was the one people relied on when they needed advice or had issues with others. He was the clear headed one.
But now he was the one who needed help. He needed to try and show Will that he was not a consolation prize, that he was the one Sonny wanted to spend the rest of his life with. One mistake could not change how they feel about each other. This had to be just a bump in the road. Sonny needed to believe that. He needed to believe that his husband would eventually come back to him. No matter how long it took, Sonny just needed to wait and show his love for Will.
It could be that easy, right?
Unfortunately, Sonny had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that it wasn't going to be that easy, and the overwhelming fear that things had the possibility of getting much worse.
Author's note- I had a little difficulty with these chapters, it was a struggle to get through. But I hope you all enjoy! I hope to get the next part up over the weekend! Thank you again to all those who have reviewed, and a special thank you to aphass and Love DS for your support and help with bouncing ideas about the story. I plan to use some of them coming up. As I'm sure you can see, the progress of this story is slow, but I feel like it is the only way to get through all the emotions and struggles a couple would go through if this happened.
Please review!