A/N: Non-Dramione lemons

Truth be told, Draco was a bit miffed. He never thought of himself as a control freak before. But when you delegate tasks, you lose control of them, and here you are, standing around with your thumb up your arse, waiting, waiting, waiting.

Theo didn't look the least bit perturbed when Draco cornered him in the Boys' lavatories, informing him in no uncertain terms that he was about to run out patience. According to Theo, the information Draco wanted should become available 'within the next few days', he said. 'Or so.'

A tic was starting to develop behind Draco's left eye. ''Or so' is not acceptable,' he growled.

Theo's usually placid countenance morphed into anger. 'Unlike you, I happen to care about people's feelings, and as a result, this sort of thing takes time,' he spat. 'I'm surprised it never occurred to you to rape Granger's mind with Legilimency if you're so desperate to get the information.'

Draco had thought about it, actually. But even he drew the line at that. Not that he would admit it to Theo.

'Quit being such an inconsiderate prat and wait!' Glaring at Draco, Theo strode to the bathroom door and wrenched it open, to Seamus and Dean's surprise, who were just about to enter.

Poking their heads in, they clocked the atmosphere between the two Slytherins, which was decidedly frosty. 'Lover's tiff, eh?' commiserated Seamus. 'We'll leave you to it, then.'

Theo rolled his eyes. 'Fuck off, Finnegan,' he snapped, and stormed out.

Draco glowered at the sniggering Gryffindors. His wand hand was itching, and only the thought of angering Hermione by turning her mates into slugs kept him from drawing it out. 'The sooner you two just come out of the fucking closet, the better,' he snarled, stomping past them and slamming the door on his way out.

Seamus and Dean's sniggers turned into full-blown laughter.

'Huh,' said Seamus, wiping his eyes. What crawled up his arse?'

'So, Potter…'

Sitting in Transfiguration class, a female voice purred behind Harry's ear. Startled, Harry turned around, and was even more startled to discover that the purry voice belonged to Pansy Parkinson.

He assessed her. Not a strand of glossy black hair was out of place on her head. Her skin was flawless, her eyelashes were lengthy, and her lips were coloured ruby red – even Harry, with his dearth of knowledge of most things girly, guessed that she probably had some sort of make-up on.

He gave her a watery smile.

She rewarded him with a brilliant one of her own. 'How did you find Durmstrang?'

Harry glanced at Professor McGonagall. She was up the front, counselling Neville on a Transfiguration exercise. She'll probably be a while.

'It was hard, but good,' he replied, still unsure why Parkinson was deigning to converse with him. 'Bracing.'

She nodded. 'I hear they have a punishing physical fitness regime.'

Harry smiled. 'That's definitely true.'

'I'd be very interested to hear about their fitness programme.'

Harry's eyebrows shot into his hair. 'Really?'

Pansy arched a perfectly-shaped eyebrow of her own. 'You may not know, Potter, but I am very interested in keeping fit.'

Harry shrugged. 'Yeah, all right.'

'Mr Potter! Miss Parkinson! I trust you have completed the exercise I set?' demanded Professor McGonagall from the front of the classroom.

Harry whipped around and applied himself to the exercise, ignoring Ron, sitting next to him with an aghast expression on his face.

Lavender straightened up and bent backwards, stretching her back. Merlin, she was sore. The detention Professor McGonagall imposed on her was rather surprising. She had to clean the Gryffindor table and benches after every meal for a week. By hand. The only beings more disconsolate than her at this punishment were the house-elves.

It was embarrassing to have to wait until the Gryffindor students had left the Great Hall, to clear away plates and cups and cutlery and platters and food and serviettes and gods-knew what other sort of crap, take them to the kitchens, return with a big bucket of soapy water and brushes and scrub. The first time she did it, she ended up splattering her uniform with scummy water, so now she just ate her meals in her oldest clothes and got changed afterwards.

Which, of course, made her monstrously late to class.

Still, at least Ron left her alone. He still shot evil looks down tables, over desks, and across the Common Room at her, but she didn't care. Someone else occupied her thoughts now.

She felt a bit lonely this Saturday afternoon, sweeping the floor under the Gryffindor table. She and Theo hadn't been able to meet since that orgasmic afternoon at the Boathouse, and she missed him. Since Slytherin were playing Gryffindor at the Quidditch pitch this afternoon, she reasoned that Theo would be over there. She sighed. She hoped they'd be able to get in touch later. It's Saturday night!

She noticed someone's half-scribbled assignment parchment under the bench. She knelt on the floor and reached under the bench to retrieve it.

'Hi.'

'Ow!' Startled, Lavender whacked her head on the bench. She backed out and turned around. Omigod. It was Theo. She smiled radiantly at him. 'Hi! This is a surprise!'

'Are you okay?' Concerned, Theo held a hand out to help her up. 'You took quite a knock to the head.'

Lavender rapped her head lightly. 'Oh, this old thing? It's got a lifetime guarantee.'

Theo laughed. 'I should hope so.'

'I'm really happy to see you, but what are you doing here? I thought you'd be at the game.'

'Nah. Of course, I'll deny it if you tell anyone, but with Potter back in the Gryffindor team, I think they'll be unbeatable for the rest of the year.'

'Ooh…'

Theo stopped Lavender's teasing with a kiss. A lovely, soft, promising kiss. Her cheeks were pink when they parted.

'I wanted to ask you something kind of important,' Theo confessed. 'I figured most of the school would be at the game so we should have some privacy.'

Lavender's heartrate accelerated.

'I've just got the sweeping up to finish, then I'll go and get changed' –

'You don't have to on my account,' Theo said, looking at her. 'I like what you're wearing.'

Lavender looked down at herself. She was wearing a pair of tight, faded jeans that had more holes than jeans in some places, and a grey ribbed singlet. Her long hair was bundled out of the way in a scarf. She thought she looked a fright, but Theo's eyes glittered as he assessed every inch of her.

'Okay,' she murmured. 'But I still want to wash my hands and freshen up.'

'No prob,' he said easily. 'Can I help you with anything?'

Lavender's mouth fell open. Not only had she never heard of a Pureblood male offering to help with domestic chores, but she'd never heard of a male offering to help with domestic chores.

'I'm nearly done,' she assured him.

Finishing the sweeping with lightning speed, she returned her instruments of torture to the kitchen (to the relief of the house-elves, who popped out to the Great Hall to re-clean the table) and headed into the lavatory just outside the Great Hall.

She washed and scrubbed her hands, arms and face. Untying the scarf, she shook out her long curls, looked in the mirror and decided that the pink-cheeked, windswept look will just have to do. She wasn't sure what to do with her long scarf, so she quickly hooked it into the loops of her jeans around her waist.

Theo was leaning against the wall when she came out of the lavatory. His smile made butterflies take flight in her tummy again. 'You look wonderful,' he said.

'Thanks,' she blushed, and took his hand. He linked their hands together and headed to the stairs descending to the Slytherin dorms.

She hesitated at the top of the stairs. 'Will this be okay?' she asked doubtfully.

Theo squeezed her hand. 'Everyone should be at the game. Don't worry.'

'Er, 'should be'?'

'Where's that famous Gryffindor courage?' he teased.

She mock-glared at him, and started down the steps.

As Theo predicted, the Slytherin Common Room was empty. It was just as well. When Lavender entered the cavernous room, she was struck dumb by its austere beauty. The massive walls were severely decorated in elaborate bronze trompe l'oiel. The slate fireplaces looked huge enough to roast a Hippogriff in. Leather chairs, low tables and green-hued lamps were spread across the room. She could have done without the skull motif, but what made her stop and stare were the tall, beautiful green stained-glass windows, whose light rippled onto the flagstone floor and seating areas.

'This room is under the lake,' Theo said, watching her. He pointed at the windows. 'Look.'

She did, and to her shame, she squealed when the long tentacles of the lake's Giant Squid sailed silently past.

Theo, laughing, drew her into his arms. 'I didn't mean to frighten you,' he smiled. Forgive me?'

She poked her tongue out at him.

He grinned and gently kissed her forehead. 'Come on. I'll show you my room.'

'Your own room,' Lavender said in a hushed voice as she stepped inside. 'Wow.'

Theo leaned against his tallboy as she circled the room. 'After six years of listening to Crabbe and Goyle snore and fart their way through sleep, having your own room is a blessing.'

She wrinkled her nose. 'Who's to say you're not a loud snorer yourself?'

He raised an eyebrow. I've had no complaints.'

Lavender hoped that didn't mean he'd had girls sleep here.

She stopped at his desk and watched a brass orrery slowly rotate, the gem-like planets revolving in their orbits. 'So pretty,' she breathed.

'I built it.'

She looked back at him. 'No kidding?'

'I like doing stuff with my hands.' He smirked.

Okay, that just made her knickers very wet.

She inched over to his four-poster bed and sat primly down on it. Theo eased himself away from the tallboy and sat next to her.

He took one of her hands and gently rubbed his thumb over it. 'Lavender,' he began, 'there's something I want to ask you. A couple of things, actually.'

Wow. He was being so serious. 'What are they?'

Theo looked up from her hand and into her eyes. 'Will you go to the Yule Ball with me?' he asked.

Lavender's face was radiant. 'Yes, of course I will!'

'Great!' Theo smiled in relief.

'The second question is kind of related to the first question. When we attend the Ball, everyone will see that we're a couple. I don't want to continue sneaking around like we're ashamed of each other. If we have a relationship, people will have to accept it. So the second question is: will you be my girlfriend?'

Lavender felt tears threatening behind her eyes, but through sheer will, she forced them back. 'I would love to be your girlfriend, Theo,' she whispered.

Theo raised her hand and kissed it. Then he scooted closer and drew her face close to his. 'Thank you,' he whispered back, before he kissed her.

The slow, sweet kiss built in desire. Soon, their tongues dipped and swirled in each other's mouths, giving, taking. Their breathing grew harsh as they explored each other.

Lavender felt hot, so hot. She craved his hands and mouth on her body. She moaned into his mouth with need.

Theo pulled back a little. He brushed her cheekbone with his thumb as he stared at her expressive face. 'Will you come to bed with me?' he asked in a low voice.

Lavender drew in a shaky breath. I should probably say no, she thought. If I say yes, he might think I'm a slut. She looked once more at Theo, sitting across from her with his lips swollen from her kiss, and his hair mussed by her hands. He saw her hesitation, and his eyes clouded with self-doubt. He looked down at his bed.

Actually, I think everything will be all right, she thought.

She stood up. Theo looked up in alarm.

She removed her singlet and let it fall to the floor. In her jeans and bra, she stepped toward him, leaned down and kissed his upturned face.

Getting naked was sinfully slow and arousing. Lavender lay on Theo's bed while he knelt over her and plotted a trail of heated kisses down her throat, over her breasts and down to her waist, where he undid the scarf belt and slowly peeled the jeans down her legs.

Once done, she sat up and pulled Theo's t-shirt up over his chest, trailing kisses in the opposite direction: from his taut waist, over his abdominal muscles, to his chest, then to his throat. She had never seen a male body so toned, so beautiful, before.

When they were both down to underwear, Lavender reached behind her and unclipped her bra. Theo drew the straps down her arms, and finally revealed her breasts.

He knelt before them, stock-still.

'Theo? Is something wrong?'

He blinked. 'Are you kidding?' he exclaimed hazily. 'I need to confess. I'm a breast man. And your breasts are the most exquisite I have ever seen.'

She blushed.

Theo shakily extended a hand towards them, and closed his eyes in bliss when he palmed one. Rolling the nipple between his thumb and forefinger, both he and Lavender moaned.

Theo leaned over the other breast and applied his lips and tongue all over, as if he was mapping it. He gently pinched her nipple, mimicking the movements of the other breast with his tongue and lips, revelling in Lavender's broken cry.

He removed Lavender's wet panties, looking forward to reintroducing himself to her beautiful pussy. He hopped off the bed, and, facing her, pulled down his boxer briefs.

Her mouth fell open. 'Oh, dear gods,' she whispered.

She'd had an idea that he was, you know, big, from what she could feel underneath his clothes. But the erection that was standing out at right angles from Theo's body was BIG. Ron's 'mini-Weasley' was mini, indeed.

'You okay?' Theo wasn't sure if Lavender's 'oh dear gods' and ever-widening eyes was a good thing or a bad thing.

'Big…' said Lavender faintly, unable to tear her eyes away from it.

Theo looked down at himself. He grinned lopsidedly and climbed back onto the bed. 'We'll figure something out,' he said. He grasped his wand from the bedside table and locked and sound-proofed the room. 'In case someone comes back.' Then he turned to the lovely naked girl, lying on his bed, nibbling her lower lip, and said 'Let me show you how much I want you.'

She smiled then, and acquiesced.

Lavender knew it. She'd won some fantastic lottery that she didn't know she'd entered, and first prize was the most handsome, skilled, attentive lover in all of Wizarding England. So what if they made a mistake and drew the wrong name out of the tombola, and any moment now someone's going to blast Theo's door down and parcel him up, kicking and screaming, to be delivered to the rightful winner, who no doubt will be some exotic tart with long creamy legs and boobs so big and perky you could rest a tea set on them?

Actually, she'd be pretty devastated if that were the case.

Don't look gift horses in the mouth, Brown, she thought. Or inside any other part of a horse, for that matter,

Resting under the blankets, curled in Theo's warm, strong arms, she re-visited the highlights of that afternoon.

Like when Theo produced her scarf, dangling it over her body with a teasing glint in his eye. 'I have a use for this,' he said. 'Close your eyes.'

He covered her eyes with the scarf and kissed her lips. With one of her senses out of commission, she felt somewhat at sea. Theo was on the bed, but he wasn't touching her.

'Theo?'

'Shh.'

A finger landed lightly on her lips, while he drew one of her nipples into his mouth. She arched off the bed, wanting more. He didn't disappoint. He gently rubbed the insole of her foot and even managed to make that feel sexy. But when he took her big toe into his mouth, sucking it and twirling his tongue around it, just like a man's cock, she squealed with surprise and insane desire. She was rather worried that she was going to start leaking onto his bedspread.

Then he took her hand and gently spread her fingers apart. Then he did the most innocuous thing: he applied his tongue to the webbing between her index and middle finger, and licked. It felt so damn dirty and so damn good.

'Wha-, how, how do you know these things?' Lavender stuttered after she nearly went into orbit after his last trick.

Theo laid between her legs and removed the scarf so she could see his cheeky grin. 'Some of it's experience,' he confessed, 'and some of it's instinct.'

'Wow,' she said, still trying to get her breath back. 'Your past lovers must be kicking themselves.'

His face was serious. 'No-one matters but you,' he said.

Of course, when he entered her - she'll never forget that. Going for the classic missionary position, he leaned above her, and slowly slid into her soaking pussy – without using his hands to guide himself. She watched emotions trace over his face as he moved further and further in, and when he was fully out inside her, a moan fell from his mouth. 'Gods, you feel incredible, sweetheart, you feel so good…'

She knew he went slow so that she could accommodate him. With her legs stretched wide, she felt so damn full, and to her amazement, the tingly-body feeling began even while neither of them were moving. 'Theo,' she moaned brokenly, 'don't move.'

He watched her face as she moved her hips, sliding up and down his erection. Each movement was exquisite. His arms shook, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold on for when her orgasm broke and washed over body.

He gritted out 'Lavender!' but that was all the warning he had time to give before he withdrew and surged in hard, over and over and over. She met his brutal thrusts, revelled in them, wrapping her legs around his waist and almost sobbing in need.

He was disgusted in himself when he came after so short a time inside her. His only consolation was that she came with him, too.

He withdrew gently from her, cast scourgifying and contraceptive charms, then collapsed, face-down on the bed next to her.

'Uh, Theo?' Lavender gently poked his arm.

'I am such a fucking failure!' he groaned into his pillow.

Lavender couldn't help it. She started laughing.

'Are you laughing at me, wench?' he growled.

'Theo,' she said, 'I have never had sex so amazing before. If you call what we just did a failure, I don't think I'll be able to survive what you would consider to be a successful session.'

He turned on his side and drew her into his arms. He pulled her hair back and kissed her temple. 'I usually last much, much, longer.'

'I have no doubts whatsoever.'

They drifted off, listening to the sound of the lake water above them.

Later, as they lay in bed, they talked about their friends.

'I don't see Hermione so much, now that she's in the Heads' Dorm,' Lavender said sleepily. 'Is that how it is with you and Zabini?'

'Yeah.' In fact, Theo was starting to appreciate the mediator role that Blaise played between Draco and himself. And between Draco and everyone else.

'She doesn't look well. She's just got so much on her plate. She wasn't even going to the Yule Ball, but Jason Robards in Ravenclaw asked her, so she's going now.'

Behind her, Theo allowed himself an evil smile. Just a little one.

Very interesting news indeed…

'Is Robards her boyfriend?' Theo asked carefully.

'No,' said Lavender. 'I don't think she's ever had one. Every time a bloke starts showing interest, her so-called guardian angel tells her every last stupid, dumb or evil thing they've ever done, and she backs off.'

'Doesn't sound like a nice guardian angel,' Theo commented.

'Yeah. I betcha he'll try to discredit Robards now he knows about him, but I sincerely doubt that there's any dirt on Robards to find. He's just so….nice.'

Read: boring.

'Well, maybe that guardian angel should learn to pull his head in,' suggested Theo. 'Does he want Granger for himself?'

'I doubt it,' Lavender replied. 'They're like brother and sister. He's just mega-protective.'

He kissed the top of her arm. 'So, her angel is Weasley, then?'

'In the red-headed flesh,' confirmed Lavender.