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Chapter Twelve:
The fact that Tanya's body had already decomposed meant we are having only a graveside service. There are only nine seats: six are for us, one for Mrs. Cope and then two for Leah and Jacob.
"We are gathered here today to say our farewell to Tanya Renee Swan."
"Dwyer," Bella says loudly, and Reverend Cope frowns, then nods in understanding at her.
"Our final farewell to Tanya Renee Dwyer. She was a loving mother who will be missed by her daughter Isabella and her son Peter. Bella would like to say a few words?"
I move my eyes to the corner and watch as Bella takes a deep breath as she closes her eyes. She mutters something under her breath, and stands up moving to the grave.
"Hey, Mom, we love you and miss you so much. You were such a beautiful woman, who always looked for the beauty in everything, and only saw that. I try, I swear I do." She chuckles a little. "You used to dance in the rain, and run with the wild horses. You used to say where there was love, there was always room for one more. No matter what you thought about someone, there was always something or someone else you'd find that would surprise you." Bella kneels on the ground and moves closer to the grave.
"Peter's doing so well. I just know you would be proud of him. Mom, my good friend has just gone up there recently. Could you make sure he's okay, and tell him thank you and I miss him." She kisses the flower she's been holding and drops it down into the grave. When she stands, she just looks at us, and I see it flash in her eyes. Before I can even stand, she is running.
"Peter," my mom says and I pull him into my arms as he tries to run after Bella.
"She needs me, we always run together."
"I'll find her and bring her back," I whisper in his ear and his small body shakes. I pass him to my mom and move the way Bella went quickly.
I speed walk around town, not finding her anywhere. The snow starts to softly fall and I run back to the graveyard, jumping into my truck.
"Grandpa, I need your help; show me where she is, please," I say looking up. My eyes move down to the side and I look out my window, almost like magic I see a figure appear at my grandpa's graveside. "That was quick. I should've done that hours ago." I chuckle as I jump out of the truck running over.
"Bella," I say slipping off my jacket and putting it around her shoulders.
"It's my fault he's dead."
I shake my head at her as I sit next to her.
"I'm not sure what Charlie," I refuse to call him her dad, that's not what he was to her to Peter, "told you, but it was a heart attack."
"It was me. I was so angry with him at first. The more I pushed him, the more he seemed to cling on to us."
I chuckle a little as I bob my head. "That does sound like him. He was a determined soul and had to have it his way, always." I breathe out and I can see the mist of my breath linger in the cold air.
"But it was me—the stress that I caused him—even now I cause your mom and dad stress, but I can't seem to stop the anger inside of me. Maybe I'm too much like my dad."
I shake my head at her. "You're not."
She tilts her head a little. "I've hit you more times than I can count. Then there are my harsh words to you, and all you've done is try to help me. Help Peter and me."
I move closer to Bella and turn so my body is facing her.
"People say that 'time heals all wounds.' I don't agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting it's sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it's never gone." Bella sobs as she quotes Rose Kennedy.
If she can use a poem, then I will too. I quickly combine the words of Rumi and Nicholas Sparks. "Wounds are where the light enters you. The emotion that can break your heart, is sometimes the very one that heals it."
She turns her head and looks at me, and I slowly put my hand up to the side of her face and wipe the tears.
"You have the ability to allow what he did to you to take over your life, or stop and say no more, and allow yourself to heal, and forgive."
"You want me to forgive him?"
I shake my head at her. "Forgive yourself, Bella. Forgive that you feel you weren't strong. Forgive that you didn't do what you felt was right. Forgive that you feel you failed people."
She closes her eyes, after looking down.
"You have to let go, and not let it eat you up. You are not broken, a little bent maybe, but not broken. Come on, I want to show you something."
I stand and hold out my hand, and she sighs, but takes hold of it and I pull her up. I help her into my truck and run around to my side. I text my dad to let him know I found Bella, and I am taking her on a road trip. It takes me almost a day and a half to arrive at my old hometown. Bella frowns as I head toward my parents' home.
"I live here now, you know?"
I roll my eyes at her. "The place I want to show you is closed, but we'll go there tomorrow. Let's just get washed up, and have a good night's sleep."
"Yeah, good plan, besides you're pretty smelly. You have to be tired. I mean, I said I would drive, it's not my fault you have a problem with women drivers."
I roll my eyes at her again. "Hush it."
~BNB~
"Peter!"
I sit up in my bed in shock, with my heart just about beating out of my chest.
"Let him go, let him go! Peter!"
I swing my legs around and run into the room that Bella's sleeping in. My heart breaks as I see her still asleep, but crying and shaking. I move to her pulling her into my arms, hoping that the good night we had after arriving here last night, will help make her less afraid of me.
"You're safe, Bella. You're safe and Peter's safe. He can't hurt you anymore."
I kiss the side of her head and run my hands through her hair, and start to hum out a lullaby that my grandfather made for my mom. Within seconds she has gone back into a peaceful sleep. I move a little and settle her back under her covers. She lets out small groans, but seems to stay asleep. By the time I get to the door, she's whimpering again. I turn, moving the chair that was at her desk closer to the bed and place my hand in hers and she stops whimpering right away.
"I guess I am staying right here for the night," I say laying my head on the bed and drifting back to sleep.
I jump awake, when I hear a thud, and I look to the bed, seeing that it's empty. I stand and look over the edge and sure enough, there is Bella in a heap on the floor. "Did you fall out of bed?"
"You scared me. Why are you here watching me sleep?"
"I wasn't watching you sleep. I was sleeping, too. You had a nightmare last night, and I thought I should stay just in case."
I wait for my tongue lashing, but instead Bella blushes. We wash up and eat breakfast, before heading out.
She frowns when I pull up outside a large house. I knock on the door and it only takes a few minutes for Lauren to open the door. She smiles when she sees me. "Eddie," she says as she hugs me to her.
"Hey," I say hugging her back. "This is my friend, Bella. I've brought her to see the dogs?"
Lauren turns looking at Bella and smiles. "Hello, Bella, I've seen you around town. Come on in. Eric, Eddie and his friend, Bella, are here," Lauren yells. "So how is Newton, have you found him a girlfriend yet?"
"No, and he doesn't need a girlfriend, Lauren, and it's Edward, not Eddie, remember?"
"Whatever, you say." She opens the door and we can hear the faint barking right away.
"This is the Miller family; we have mom and her three puppies. Their ex-owner tried to drown them. Momma here looks like she's been beat and abused."
I watch Bella from the corner of my eye as Lauren starts telling us about the dogs.
"This is Bob, he's a pit-bull, and his owner was using him in a fighting ring. Eric and I got sick of waiting for the police to do something, and went and got him ourselves. Sadly, the other dog we rescued at the same time died from their injuries." I move close to Bella, when I hear her sniff, and I slide my hand to hers and fold our fingers together.
"Lastly, this is Peaches," Lauren takes us to a very small dog that looks like a puppy still. "She's about a eight months to a year old. She's been badly beaten, almost as bad as what Newton was."
Bella's eyes widen and she looks at me.
"Can I take them out on a walk with Bella?"
"Yes, that would be great. The puppies need to get checked over, so that will give Eric and I time to do that. I'll get their leads for you."
"Edward?"
"We'll talk when were out," I say, and Bella nods at me. It doesn't take us too long to have the dogs ready
I take Bob and Momma Miller. Bella takes Peaches, and we start to walk to the park.
"Eric and Lauren run an abused dog shelter. I used to help out on the weekends and school holidays. Five years ago, I dropped in to see them, and they told me about Newton. He wouldn't let anyone near him. He even went after both Lauren and Eric. They were sure they would have to put him down and it broke their hearts. They hate when they can't help an animal. Anyway, I started going in and doing a lot of one on one therapy with Newton. And slowly he started to trust me. I have pictures of what he looked like when he first arrived. You would never believe he's the same dog."
"Is that what you're trying to do with me?"
"No, I'm just telling you Newton's story. All of these dogs have their own story. Some have been through more than others. Some are able to move on and trust people again, but some can't."
"So, if I were a dog, I would be put to sleep?"
"No, it's clear that you want to change, to be healed, to be better, you just don't know how or who to trust. With Newton, I helped him channel his anger into something else. I worked with him until I found something that helped him relax. For Newton, it just happened to be running free. One of the main reasons I give him free rein on the ranch, is because he needs that freedom. He is also very protective and likes being useful."
Bella nods and we walk around quietly. Our only words are those of encouragement to the dogs we are walking.
A/N: So did you expect Bella to run? What do you think of Edward showing Bella the abused dog shelter and hearing a bit of Newton's back story?
