Therapy
Huang had insisted that Elliot waited outside the interview room. Elliot wasn't happy about it but even though Olivia had asked him to stay with her she had decided that she didn't want him to be there when she admitted how weak she was and how she coulnd't save the life of an innocent young women. She had got it into her head that Elliot would hate her for it.
Elliot was dissapointed when Olivia agreed that it would be for th best that he waited outside. All he wanted to do was take her hand and guide her through it but she didn't want him to. Was she afraid? He didn't know but he wished that he did. He clneched his fists nervously as he waited outside. He got up and peered into the window from time to time but realised it might be unsettling for her. He knew, he hoped that someday she would share it with him.
"Elliot? Are you alright?" Munch said coming around the corner with two coffees.
"Captain said you were bringing Olivia in, I got you a coffee" he said handing it to Elliot who took it greatfully.
"Do you want to go into the observation room?" Munch asked. Elliot shook his head.
"She changed her mind about me being in there. When she wants me to know what happened, she'll tell me. But hiding in the oberservation room is an invasion of her privacy" Elliot said. Munch patted him on the shoulder before walking away.
888
"So," Huang began, this was hard even for him. It was alright talking to strangers everyday about their problems but when it was someone he knew so well. It scared him that even the strongest of people can be victims.
"Can you remember what happened prior to the abduction?" he asked slowly and as professionally as he could.
" We'd been to visit Sarah" she started
"You and Elliot?" Huang certified. Olivia nodded.
"We went to tell her about her stalker and we arranged a stake out for that evening. We left and we argued" she said already starting to stumble and she hadn't even got to the worst part yet.
"What did you argue about?" Huang asked.
"I don't know, something stupid. I said that I thought we were being targetted rather than her. And he said it was a silly idea so I snapped at him and ignored him for the rest of the day"
"Did he try to talk to you?" Huang said not focusing on his note book anymore.
"Yeah, but I just left…I went downstairs to get some fresh air. I left the building, went down the steps and stopped at the sidewalk" she said recounting every detail. She knew that there was a divide line between most vitcims; they either didn't remember a thing or they could remember everything and that was what drove them out of their mind.
"I went to cross the road but something stuck me on the back of my head…everything went black" she paused not sure if she wanted to continue with her account, knowing that Elliot would waiting outside. She didn't really know what she wanted, she didn't want him here because she was scared of what he'd say but on the other hand she didn't think she could open up without him.
"Olivia? Are you alright?" Huang asked noticing tat she was figiting.
"Actually, I…I think I would actually like Elliot to sit with me in here" she stumbled knowing this could be the biggest mistake but she was going to take the risk anyway. She wanted to recount this event once and once only and never speak of it again. Huang nodded silently and got up. He went out and Olivia sipped her glass of water, her hands shaking. Elliot came into the interview room and sat down beside her. She kept her distance.
"So, went you came to?" Huang promted.
"I couldn't see anything I could hear Sarah crying. At first I thought I was blind. I tried to feel my face but my hands were bound to the chair as were my legs" she tried to remain calm.
"He took it off my face and my eyes stung as they adjusted to the light. I saw Sarah in a chair opposite. They were like I don't know…those old fashioned dentist chairs you used to get…I was always afriad of the dentist…" she said stalling the subject of Sarah's torture. She could feel her eyes burnin with hot tears.
"You know before I even heard Sarah crying it was the smell that scared me, the irony smell, of blood in the air. His hands were cold and wet with blood on them when he took the blind fold off" she said her sentences becoming less coherant by the minute but Elliot and Huang tried to make sense of it as best as they could.
"I asked him…"she said but Huang interrupted her.
"Who was he? Olivia?" Huang asked.
"You and I both know the bastards name and I'd rather not say it" she said bitterly and venumously. But she calmed when she realised her harshness.
"If you don't mind…please don't say his name, please" she said quiter than before. Huang nodded in acceptance. Elliot said nothing as he sat beside her his insides turning to sludge at the brokeness in her voice.
"I asked him why he had done what he did and what it had to do with Sarah and you know what the most ironic thing was? I was right. Silly Detective Benson was right" she didn't look at Elliot as she quoted his words from that day.
"Sarah had nothing to do with it. She was just bait for me! For what I did. It was all my fault...I should be dead not her. But he said I would suffer more if I was alive, he said if I was dead I'd be free. With Sarah dead, she wouldn't have to suffer at my hand, she wouldn't have to live with what I had done and yet I would have to live with her death!" it was obviously now that Elliot and Huang were having difficulty understanding her but the anger towards herself was growing and both men knew this anger had to be freed before any sense of normality could be returned.
"He had no intension of hurting me physically. Oh my god the syringe, oh my god her screaming! I've never heard anything like it!. Her screaming! Her desperation. She kept screaming my name for me to help her but I couldn't. I just sat there and closed my eyes and hoped it would be over soon. But when he pulled her teeth out I just knew it wouldn't be over for a long time" she said. Elliot tried to put his hand on hers but she pulled it away. She didn't know what her feelings were towards him right now.
"The blood all over her face. She coughed it all up and sobbed and… there was nothing I could no. I prayed and prayed that someone would come but I gave up after a while…after he told them that no one would come for us after they knew what an evil person I was. He said it so much and so often I truly believe him" she said.
"Olivia, listen to me. He was manipualting you, there was nothing you could do, none of this was your fault!" Huang said sternly but she had no intension of listening to him.
"Yes it was! I should never have left her at the studio on her own, I should have looked after her! If I'd taken her with us this probably would have never happened like it did" she yelled
"Yes but it would have still happened! Olivia if you carry on believing that you are responsible for a pychotic man's actions then you are never going to feel better" Huang said.
"I don't deserve to feel better Huang! Sarah should still be here! Alive! But she's not. I have to tell myself it will be alright knowing that an innocent girl who was just a child died on my hands! She was just a child!" she sobbed. Elliot went to put his arm around her to comfort her.
"Get off me!" she snarled.
"I don't deserve this" she screamed.
"She was stripped of all her human rights! She was tortured to death! And it's all my fault!" she said getting up from her chair, anger ranging through her body, screaming, she threw her chair across the room and pushed her glass of water on the floor, it shattered and Huang and Elliot stood up and watched her act of rage. Elliot went to stop her but Huang stopped him.
"Leave her Elliot, she needs to do this" Huang said standing back.
"Are you crazy? She's gonna hurt herself!" he said ingoring Huang's instructions. He stood infront of Olivia's warpath. She threw herself at him and began to hit him violently on his strong chest.
"Why don't you hate me! You should hate me for what I did I don't deserve anything good from anyone of you!" she screamed, tears rolling uncontrollably down her face. Elliot grabbed her by the arms but she faught him off.
"Listen to me, Olivia, Honey, Look at me! None of this was your fault. What happened to Sarah was tragic but it wasn't your fault, you can't keep balming yourself! It's not going to bring her back. What happened was in the past but now you have to focus on what's right in front of you!" he said trying to calm her the best he could.
"What are you saying?" she screamed fghting against his strength.
"Me, Olivia!" he said his voice beginning to strain.
She suddenly gave up her fight and collasped into his chest crying hysterically. Her punches dissolved and she clutched his shirt like it was the only thing she had left. When she relaxed. Elliot pulled her to him and stroked her hair.
"Shush…It's gonna be alright now, I promise, just let it all out…nobody hates you, I don't hate you…I love you" he said so matter of factly it sounded completely natural. She looked up in confusion.
"What did you just say?" she said hiccuping. He brought her chin up to meet his eyes.
"I said I love you" he said again.
"You don't hate me for what I did?" she said her voice wavering.
"No, I could never hate you" he said pulling her into a tighter hug.
They stood there in each others arms for what seemed like eternity but for them it didn't really matter.
TBC…
A.N: So? What did you guys think? OTT? Let me know!