Chapter 12

Metropolis, Day 2, 3:41 pm. Chloe watched through the open shutters of the bar as Lois and Haley cuddled on the sofa deep in discussion. Al was loudly orchestrating the police effort in the dining room which made it difficult for her to hear what the two were saying but she gathered by the serious frowns on their faces that it wasn't anything good.

She clutched her mug of tea and sighed before returning to work on her laptop. To the untrained eye it looked like she was working on another piece for the 'Metropolan', when in reality she was quietly covering the Superman angle of the search for her missing nephew. Every time Chloe thought about the danger Jason might be in her heart seized and more then one silent, salty tear trickled down her cheek. She knew as well as Lois did what might be happening to him right now and if the same thing were ever to happen to Chris or Abby or Tommy…Chloe shuddered violently at the thought and delved straight back to work. If she kept up that thinking she might never let her children leave the apartment ever again.

"They haven't found him yet?"

Haley bit her lip and tried not to fidget as she waited for an answer. Lois slowly nodded her head in response. This wasn't exactly a conversation she was looking forward to but she didn't want her daughter to grow up the way she had with parents who were always talking over her head. They'd said that they were only trying to protect her but Lois always felt more annoyed and betrayed then 'protected'; besides, there were enough secrets being kept in this house (the biggest of which was currently flying around somewhere in South America) that she didn't want to add another to young Haley's growing list.

There was also the fact that she couldn't hide the severity of the truth from her daughter for long even if she wanted to. When Haley's hearing first kicked in it became difficult to keep almost anything private and so Lois opted to be as open as possible—she only hoped her daughter wouldn't take after her and ask for too many potentially frightening details.

The little girl accepted her mother's wordless answer and looked thoughtful for a moment. "It's bad that Dad hasn't found him yet, isn't it?"

The question sounded almost rhetorical and for a brief second Lois wasn't sure if or how to respond. "What do you think?"

"I think it's really bad," she whispered, hugging the sofa pillow tighter to her chest. Even more quietly she added, "Do you think it's a new bad man, like the one who hurt you and Jason on the boat and who used to hurt Daddy?"

Haley, young as she was, had no idea what types of brutality people were truly capable of but she knew of Lex Luthor, and the mere mention of him or a new counterpart sent a shocking jolt of electricity through Lois' body. She'd had enough of megalomaniacs attacking the ones she loved and to think of how Jason might be suffering…she couldn't contain herself any longer and started to lose it, her whole body shaking with great gasping sobs. Haley sat frozen in horror on the sofa as her aunt rushed over; she'd seen many sides of her mother but never this, not the total, panicked abandon she was witnessing now, and the display made it very clear what kind of terrible situation their family was now in.

Metropolis, Day 2, 7:22 pm. He'd brushed right past Lois, his mother, Chloe, Jim, Al, and the handful of police and headed straight for the bathroom, locking the door forcefully behind him. Clark plugged the drain and turned the faucet on full to try and drown out the concerned whispers coming from down the hall. He hadn't wanted to come home, not until he had some new news to share, but as always what he wanted and needed didn't matter right now. Carefully avoiding his gaze in the mirror Clark turned the tap off and splashed some water on his face before grabbing the towel and looking off into the pitch black skyline outside his window.

It was yet another sign of another long, anxious evening spent without Jason under their roof.

He sighed again before hanging the hand towel back up and paused with his hand over the doorknob, head still turned to the window. Clark wanted to be out there, he needed to be out there looking for his son, but Lois' small insistent call from the roof reminded him that he had responsibilities to attend to here. She'd said it was for Haley, that after the long trying day they'd all had their daughter needed reassurance from both of them that things would work out ok, but he'd known Lois long enough to know that she needed to hear it from him as well.

Trouble was Clark wasn't so sure he believed everything would be alright…and she was sure to catch his niggling doubt before he even opened his mouth.

He was a doubting Thomas and a coward and a man who couldn't adequately protect his own family which was no kind of man at all, Kryptonian or otherwise.

Just then he glanced over and caught his reflection in the mirror—and he almost didn't recognize the person staring back at him. His face looked longer, leaner, with the color all gone and semi-permanent dark circles seemingly etched under his eyes. His hair was unkempt, his chin full of stubble and was that…yes, he'd forgotten to do up the top button of his shirt and just the barest hint of the Suit glimmered about his collarbone.

If this was what 48 hours without Jason was like then the three of them had no hope of surviving at all should he never return.

Lois hovered quietly outside the bathroom waiting for him to emerge. She just needed to be near him, it didn't matter if they talked, she just wanted to be close to her husband and borrow a little of his strength so she could make it through the day.

And that's when she heard the sound that made her feel more wretched then she had all afternoon; Clark's half-strangled sob coming from the other side of the door. Suddenly Lois didn't envy him and his special gifts as she had while waiting impotently at home. But here he was, her rock, her partner, her strength, and he was crumbling under the strain of Jason's disappearance every bit as much as she was and he hadn't even let on to her about it.

Her face fell as she listened to him gulp down air and muffle his cries and she impulsively raised a hand to go in and comfort him before deciding against it. He obviously didn't think she was capable of handling his grief as well as her own right now and perhaps he was right; she was only human, after all.

As the revelation sunk in Lois left her post and ambled down the hallway, studiously ignoring the bedroom to her left and opting to lock herself in her own room instead. Her body began to go slack as soon as she crossed the threshold and she crumpled against the back of the door, mentally repeating the same questions she'd been asking herself for the last 2 days. Where did Jason go? Why did he leave? Was he taken or was he really unhappy? What did I do wrong? What did I miss?

She felt like she was drowning off-shore a crowded beach and no one was coming to pluck her out of the water.

Metropolis, Day 2, 7:38 pm. They all watched as he passed by the kitchen doorway without so much as a good-bye and were only slightly surprised when they heard the front door close soundly shut behind him a few seconds later. Clark had gone and sat with Haley for a few minutes, the two of them talking quietly behind closed doors in her room, before he headed back out to continue the search. So far as the four of them knew he hadn't even said a word to Lois and even Al understood the significance of the oversight.

"Well that's not right," he grumbled once he figured Clark was out of earshot.

Martha breathed deep and clenched at her mug. "No," she replied softly, "It isn't."

Jim frowned as he watched his wife excuse herself to go and check in with the babysitter. This worse then any of them realized, save him. He'd worked alongside Lois and Clark long enough to know that communication was key; even if they didn't speak out loud they could interpret each other's body language and facial expressions to the point where it was almost as if they were reading each other's minds. This group knew this, of course, but not to the extent that he did.

Then again, when you viewed the everyday world through a camera lens you tended to have a different perspective on things then most.

Right now, for instance, he saw how much his friends were hurting (just like they all were) but he also saw that they were getting their signals horribly crossed, thereby making themselves more miserable in the process. Clark and Lois worked best together but their pain and guilt were such that they were driving a deep wedge between them, isolating them from each other when they were at their most vulnerable. Jim wanted to say something and make them aware but he simply didn't know how. Part of him thought that this was how all parents reacted in the face of a missing child (a fact he hoped never to learn of first hand), while another part felt it was still too early to intervene. Jason might be found tomorrow and then all would be forgiven and forgotten, the rift would heal, and they could all continue on their way as they had before.

Chloe came back in and squeezed his shoulder, giving him a tight, sad smile. He prayed that Jason would be found by tomorrow, for all their sakes.

Metropolis, Day 3, 2:18 am. The apartment was relatively quiet as he landed gently through the living room window and Clark held his breath. He'd hoped his ears were deceiving him when he picked up two steady heartbeats instead of three and as his feet touched the floor his shoulders sagged in despair and he let loose a sigh.

He envied them their fitful rest, however wretched it was. Not that he wanted to sleep but to be able to break away from this torment for even a few hours…

Clark stopped and steeled himself, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand. Floating soundlessly toward the dining room he began fishing about in the bottom drawer of the buffet and pulling out handfuls of charts and maps along with odd scraps of paper. He'd spent two days flying blind, darting back and forth between continents and crossing the same paths multiple times; he'd been emotional and it was unforgivable wasting so much time trying to locate his son with his heart and not with his head. He needed to buckle down and figure out where Jason was headed or where he was being held and bring him home, no more excuses.

Unfurling the world map across the dining room table Clark picked up a pen and put an X square in the center of Spain. Jason was last spotted in the vicinity and by creating a network of concentric circles spiraling out from that point he'd be sure to leave no stone unturned in his search.

He stared hard at the X and blinked back the mist clouding his eyes. Last spotted…Clark couldn't help himself and cursed anew. It'd been his job to stay at home that day with the kids but nooo, duty called and he'd answered, just like he always did. He should've been there with Jason and Haley, he should've kept a closer eye on them and kept them safe, he should've let them know beyond a shadow of a doubt how much he loved and cherished them instead of darting around the globe for the sake of strangers.

By all accounts his kids shouldn't even exist but there they were, two living, breathing products of a love so deep it changed not only his life but the face of the world and he realized that the minute Lois informed him Jason was his…

…So when did he start taking his children for granted? Somewhere along the line he'd let it happen and now because of his own indifference he was destined to lose them.

The blessings of a loving family were never meant to be his.

With a heavy heart Clark looked down at the map now steeped in great dark circles. His son had to be in one of them, he just had to be, and it was all simply a matter of finding which one.

Metropolis, Day 3, 5:42 am. She awoke with a start and immediately looked at the clock on her nightstand. Lois hadn't even realized she'd slept; she thought she'd just tossed and turned but apparently somewhere in there she'd dozed off for a few hours and that knowledge right there set her off on a sour note. She'd spent four hours in oblivion while Jason was God-knows-where enduring God-knows-what and Lois hated that he still wasn't home and wrapped safe in her arms.

Instinctively she looked over at Clark's side of the bed but already knew what answer she'd find. The sheets were cold and un-rumpled just as before, save for the note he'd left carefully folded on the pillow. Lois propped herself up on her elbows and rubbed the sleep from her eyes squinting hard at the print.

Nothing new to report; still out searching. ~Clark

She flounced back down and flung a hand over her eyes. Shit. Shit, shit, SHIT!

She let her anger and fear and self-pity wreak havoc until her whole body was tense with still more unspent emotion. Lois was tempted to curl back up under the covers and stay in bed when she caught sight of an old photo tacked up to her vanity mirror.

She couldn't have been more then five, six at the most. The colors were faded and the outlines were fuzzy from her perch but Lois remembered the circumstances surrounding the picture as clearly as if it'd been taken yesterday. She'd come back from playing at her friend's house with a bloody knee; the girl's older brother pushed her down as she was getting ready to head home which was how she wound up sitting at the kitchen table struggling not to cry in front of her father. The General, in all his uniformed glory, was sitting opposite her with her foot in his lap about to place a bandage on her wound.

High praise was hard to come by from the General but that day her father told her she'd been a good little soldier and in-between the pain she remembered feeling pleased; it was also at that time that he reminded Lois that she was nobody's victim, not the older boy's, not circumstance's, not anyone's. Her five year old self may have dearly wanted a hug at that moment instead of a lecture, but forty years on she saw the wisdom in his words and threw the covers back on her bed.

Lois would do what she did best; she'd investigate, starting with Jason's room. Everyone and their mother had been through there over the last few days—literally—yet she couldn't help feeling that they were all still missing something and it was up to her to fish it out. She threw on a pair of slacks and a t-shirt and sneakers before marching down the hall and stopping in front of Jason's door, her resolve wavering an instant more at the posters and nameplate on the front. With a determined nudge she pushed it open and just inside surveying the scene, cataloging what was where it should be, what had been moved and what may or may not be missing. The clues to her son's disappearance had to be in this room, she could feel it, she just had to be strong enough and smart enough to find the answers.

Metropolis, Day 3, 7:55 am. Chris tugged on the bottom of his mother's jacket as they waited in the hall in front of their aunt and uncle's apartment.

"Mommy, where'd Jason go again? Is he on vacation?"

"No, Sweetie, he's not on vacation." She reached down and ran her hand over his blondish brown hair but wouldn't look him in the eye. All three of her kids were aware that something was amiss but she and Jim hadn't wanted to scare or upset them anymore then was absolutely necessary but they couldn't hide the truth any longer. The older two now glanced at their brother, their expressions greatly subdued, while Chris continued to study her as he struggled to understand what was going on. "He went out and he hasn't come home yet. Aunt Lois and Uncle Clark are worried because they can't reach him but we're all hopeful that he'll be back very soon."

"Oh." He mulled that over a minute. "Did he forget to take his cell phone? 'Cause if he had it then they could call him and tell him to come back!"

"It's a little more complicated then that, Baby."

Jim stepped back as Martha opened the front door. "Oh good, you're here," she breathed in relief. Leaning in close so both adults could hear she added, "Something's wrong."

At that Chloe ushered the kids inside and all three stood near the door with their jackets and backpacks still on, ready and waiting to head to school. They'd come early to collect Haley thinking it might take her mind off things if she got out of the house for a few hours but now Martha was worried about Lois and those plans got put on the back burner.

"I need you three to stay right here, is that understood?" she asked, looking Tommy, Abby and Chris in the eyes. They nodded as she spun on her heel to follow Jim and Martha into the hall. Haley was sitting on the floor opposite her brother's bedroom with her arms pulled tight around her knees, staring at the closed door while the occasional grunt and sounds of moving furniture emanated from across the way.

"They've been like this since I've arrived and Lois has locked the door. I tried to get a hold of Clark but he isn't answering. I don't know what to do."

At the sight of her niece Chloe's mothering instincts took over and she knelt down beside the bewildered girl. "Haley, Honey?" The little girl didn't budge—she barely breathed, let alone acknowledge her aunt. Chloe crept closer and tentatively snaked out a hand. "Honey, it's me." She looked over her shoulder at Jim and stared into his equally distraught face. Clearly the little girl was in shock, but should she risk touching her? They'd already heard tales of Haley's increasing strength and density and were she to react out of instinct if she were startled…

Before Chloe could talk herself out of it she reached out and clasped a hand on her niece's forearm. "Haley, Sweetheart, I need you look at me," she urged. The girl turned a dull and listless gaze on her but still didn't volunteer anything. "Are you hurt anywhere?" She didn't appear to be injured, just dazed, but she had to check and be sure; true to form there wasn't a scrape or a bruise anywhere to be seen.

Jim stepped forward and finally chimed in. "You know what I think you need, Kiddo? I think you need a good hot breakfast, how about that, hmm? Why don't you come with me and we'll see if we can't scrape some chocolate chip pancakes together…" He leaned down and picked her up in his arms. "There now, I got you, everything's going to be just fine…" He jerked his head in the direction of Jason's room and Chloe scrambled to her feet hoping she and Martha could get Lois to let them in.

Martha rapped at the door as Chloe leaned in close, straining to make out what her friend was muttering on the other side.

Metropolis, Day 3, 8:30 am. Haley sat on the edge of her bed and rubbed the ballet slipper charm on her necklace. Uncle Jim, Uncle Al, Grandma and Aunt Chloe were standing just outside her door trying to come up with a plan to coax her mother out of Jason's room and talk; and even though they weren't even trying to be quiet around her she still had a hard time concentrating on what was said. This morning's upset left her in shock.

Ever since Jason disappeared she'd been hearing more and more whispers of stories of things that took place before she was born. She knew about Lex Luthor and been told about how he tried to hurt her brother and her parents, but he was long dead and everybody knew it; still, that didn't mean there weren't other like him out there and Haley knew it even if her Mom and Dad and Jason didn't want to talk about it out loud. She was young but she wasn't so young as to think that everyone loved her father when he was Superman and they'd make him pay if they ever learned the truth.

She'd been worrying about all these things in her sleep when a loud scraping sound from across the hall woke her up. Her eyes darted open but she lay still as stone on the bed, focusing her hearing to try and locate the source of the sound. Someone was moving around in Jason's room and the footsteps were so light they couldn't possibly be her brother's. Leaping out of bed she moved in a blur until she found herself in front of Jason's door with her ear against the wood.

"How many times have I told him not to bring food in here? You'd think he'd have heard of a little invention called a trash can…" It was her mom muttering to herself.

Haley tried the door handle but it was locked. "Mom?" On the other side of the door her mother never broke her stride and kept right on moving things around. "Mommy?" she cried out again, louder this time.

The footsteps stopped and Haley pressed more firmly against the door. The break only lasted a few seconds before her mother started shuffling around again and talking to herself. She tried the knob again and thought about breaking it but her brother would be really mad at her when he came home and saw what she'd done...so she did the next logical thing that came to mind. She called her dad.

"Dad!" Haley held her breath and kept watch over the hall, waiting for him to arrive. He'd come in and take care of her mother and everything would be alright; he could fix anything.

One Mississippi.

Two Mississippi.

Three Mississippi.

He always told her no matter where he was or what he was doing if she really needed him he would come, all she had to do was call and he'd hear. She just had to be patient.

Four Mississippi.

Five Mississippi.

Haley frowned. Maybe he hadn't heard her? She tried again louder then before.

"DAD!"

Six Mississippi.

Seven Mississippi.

Eight Mississippi.

It sounded like she was moving the bed now. "If I could just reach a little further under this here…"

Nine Mississippi.

Ten Mississippi.

"Oh God, this is disgusting!" her mother shrieked. "I've known barnyard animals that were cleaner then this!"

Eleven Mississippi.

The tears sprang up in her eyes. Her brother was gone, her mother was losing her mind and her father wasn't coming home to help.

She was all alone.

"Dad?"

Twelve Mississippi.

Thirteen Mississippi.

Fourteen Mississippi.

Fifteen Mississippi.

After that Haley stopped counting.

She stepped back and sank against the wall clutching her knees to her chest. Haley couldn't stay there and yet she couldn't bring herself to move; she was numb all over from her family's abandonment. Slowly she began to realize that she'd brought this on herself—her parents were freezing her out because she'd covered for Jason when he left and if she hadn't lied then they might've been able to find him before anything bad had a chance to happen.

It was all her fault.

All. Her. Fault.

She didn't know if she'd been like that for minutes or hours but then someone touched her arm and she recognized her Aunt Chloe's voice trying to reach her through the fog. Before long she was picked up by a strong pair of arms and carried off to the kitchen by her uncle where he proceeded to feed her breakfast. She wasn't hungry but Haley managed to shove a few bites of whatever it was in her mouth before being allowed to return to her room to be alone.

"Haley's in shock and Lois isn't coming out. Have either of you been able to get in touch with Clark?"

"No, and I don't think she has either. I found this on his pillow." A piece of paper rustled as it passed hands.

"Well that's just great! HELLO, EARTH TO CLARK, EMERGENCY HERE! CAN YOU PLEASE PICK UP A G-DDAMN CELL PHONE?"

"CHLOE!"

"I'm sorry, Martha, but desperate times call for desperate measures and that little girl needs at least one of her parents right now!"

Everyone stayed silent awhile after that. Haley figured they just didn't understand the situation. Uncle Al spoke next.

"Maybe we should let Ella look after her for a little bit like she offered."

"No! She needs to be someplace familiar, get back into some sort of routine…"

Another angry voice cut in. "And you really think staying here is going to help her with that? At least the kid'll have the woman's undivided attention over there instead of all of us running around like headless chickens here…"

I don't want to leave! When Jason comes home he'll come here, not Nana Ella's! Don't make me go!

"Ok then, it's decided. Clo, maybe you should help her pack; I'll go get Ella on the line and let her know we're coming."

NO!