The sharp click of low heels echoed faintly in the late-night hush as a lone figure made her way through the deserted corridors one final time before following the path blazed by the rest of her associates when they'd vacated the building hours ago. Nervously readjusting the leather strap of the messenger bag that rested across her left shoulder as she neared her destination, Cameron took a steadying breath that was promptly released in a relieved rush when green eyes landed on the unoccupied desk of the infirmary nurse.
Angelique had summarily kicked her out of the medical wing earlier that day issuing a stern warning not to return unless she herself was near death or she'd be put to work scrubbing bedpans for the rest of the week. Knowing this was no idle threat, Cameron had left without dispute and spent the remainder of the aggravating nurse's shift inattentively tending to her own duties before chancing a trip back only to find that the mocha-skinned woman had left strict orders with the rest of the staff not to let her in either.
Now, with only a few third-shift nurses left in the hospital to watch over the slumbering patients, it looked as though she'd finally caught a break. It wasn't like she'd been that much of a distraction for the working medical staff and she'd been perfectly polite as she asked that they rerun every test when they'd failed to determine why Regina had yet to regain consciousness. She also didn't believe it was an unreasonable request that they call with hourly updates after she'd been forced to leave; they were the ones that threw her out after all. They didn't seem to understand that her conscience wouldn't allow her any respite until she could once again gaze into those warm honey eyes and know that the older woman was all right.
Well… as 'all right' as a woman who'd just found out for a second time, since she evidently didn't remember the first, that she'd lost her family in a tragic accident could be.
That was some real fine doctorin' there, Cam.
Mentally cringing at how acerbic her internal voice turned after nearly twenty hours without sleep, no matter how deserved the criticism, Cameron slipped quickly into the semi-darkened room and made her way over to the lone occupied bed.
Careful not to make any noise lest she wake the resting woman, the young doctor set her bag and thick, winter coat aside before pulling Regina's chart from the foot of the bed. Skimming over the pertinent details, the fair-haired brunette could feel a noticeable easing of the tension in her shoulders as all the test results had come back clear once again. There was nothing physically wrong with the older woman to explain her continued unconsciousness. Apparently, she remained that way simply because her mind needed the reprieve.
Who could blame her, really? From what little Cameron had been able to gather during their sessions, and some rage induced ranting, it appeared as if the raven-haired woman had everything she was missing in this life right there waiting for her in her dreams. She was able to raise her son alongside a wife she obviously adored in world filled with castles and magic. Hell, it sounded like a damn fine fairytale ending to Cameron and it nearly broke the young doctor's heart to have to be the one to take that away from her, but living in this fantasy world only to wake to a stark reality had almost killed Regina. Literally.
Gently replacing the chart in its holder, Cameron studiously avoided looking at the slumbering woman as she scanned the readings from the various flashing machines for any irregularities. Seeing that all was normal, she made her way to the woman's left side to check that the IV line was clear and flowing properly when she felt the tip of her shoe impact something light, but solid, on the floor.
The resulting hiss of the unseen object sliding across linoleum sounded unnaturally loud in the peaceful quiet of the infirmary and Cameron's jade eyes instinctively flicked to the quiescent woman, her breath automatically catching at the sight before her. Raven locks limply framed the older woman's delicate features that seemed drawn and pale in the harsh illumination that highlighted faint frown lines around her full mouth, the visible scar on her upper lip, and dark circles peeking out from beneath long lashes.
Despite these details that others would see only as 'imperfections', or maybe because of them and how they showcased the woman's normally well hidden vulnerability, Cameron thought she'd never seen a more beautiful sight and her fingers itched to sweep away that one errant tress that always seemed to break free from the other woman's impeccable coif.
Ignoring the way her heart clenched tightly in her chest and the sound of her drumming heartbeat pounding in her ears, the doctor waited several tense moments until she was positive Regina had not been disturbed in the slightest by her clumsiness and offered up a silent thanks to the universe. If the other woman were to wake now, when all her defenses were down, Cameron couldn't guarantee she'd be able to hold back the thousand-and-one words that threatened to spill from her lips every time she was even remotely near the raven-haired goddess.
Gods, I must be more tired than I realized, she thought as she rolled her eyes at her clearly unhinged mental state since she was practically starting up her own religion at the woman's feet.
Sinking to her knees, the irony of the position not lost on her, she searched beneath the bed for whatever she'd kicked a few minutes ago until her long fingers encountered the object. Pulling the notebook out as she slowly stood back up, brushing dust from her dark slacks, she snapped the book shut just as a flash of a familiar image catches her eye.
An embarrassingly short debate was waged between her sense of integrity and her overwhelming desire to peek at the mysterious writings enclosed, essentially invading Regina's privacy for a second time. Caving almost instantly to her insatiable curiosity, Cameron opened the notebook at the beginning and was slightly disappointed by what she found.
Where she'd expected words of grief and longing or even confusion and anger, things that would have shed some light on what the reticent woman was going through, there were instead sketches covering every inch of the lined paper. It honestly shouldn't have surprised her, especially after visiting the other woman's apartment. Clearly, Regina expressed herself through her art and Cameron couldn't help but feel that if she knew the woman a little better, she'd be able to read her every emotion just from the pictures carefully rendered here in front of her.
Slowly flipping through the journal, Cameron was once again amazed at the amount of detail put into each drawing. The loving gazes set in the beaming faces of Emma and Henry met her at every turn of the page. As she continued, she realized Henry began to appear less often and Emma's features began to change subtly, the most notable difference being her curly, golden hair. With each depiction, the long locks straightened ever so slightly and were shaded just a bit darker.
Unwilling to let her mind jump to erroneous conclusions, she tamped down any stray thoughts and focused solely on what her eyes were seeing at that moment. Reaching the center of the notebook, a muted gasp slipped involuntarily from between her lips as she was met with an image that was clearly her juxtaposed next to one that was obviously Emma.
Where Emma's hair had returned to its previous, lighter tint and a cascade of curls fell around her open, smiling countenance, Cameron's dark locks were pulled back into her customary ponytail while her long bangs draped in front of the glasses she typically wore for reading and a slight frown pulled at the corners of her mouth.
She was vaguely appalled at the representation of herself compared to that of Emma. The other woman seemed so happy, almost carefree, while she was came across as somber and discontented. It was a perfect portrayal actually. She'd not had much to smile about over the last few years and it appeared that she wasn't as adept at hiding it as she'd previously believed, especially if a woman she only saw a few hours a week had so easily picked up on it.
Dragging her gaze away from the eerily accurate depictions, green eyes tracked to the opposite page where she finally found the words she'd originally expected, set in a neat, feminine script.
Memories fade into the silence,
Haunting me tonight.
When morning breaks
Will sunlight finally take the pain away?
When faces lie and love falters
I am left with only time.
And time will break
The dreams that take the pain away
I'm on my own here
And no one's left to be the hero of
This fairy tale gone wrong
As night will fall my heart will die alone
Ever after never came
And I'm still waiting
For my heart to beat again
A maelstrom of mixed feelings swirled around Cameron's heart as the words of the brief poem slowly registered in her dazed mind. The emotions evident in such a short piece spoke of a woman torn between tragedy and hope, fantasy and reality, and a devastating desire to simply be loved hindered by the uncertainty of her current situation.
Cameron prided herself on being at least semi-intelligent, most of the time, and knew that the location of the poem was just as important as what it said. Apparently, her growing attraction was not as one-sided as she'd previously feared and while her heart leapt at the thought, guilt immediately settled in at the realization that she was causing Regina even more pain and confusion.
Shit… this just makes it all so much worse.
Unrequited attraction she could bury beneath her typical stoicism and a well-honed professional mask. Knowing that it was mutual, however, placed her in a tough position. Ethically, she should hand over Regina's case to one of her colleagues immediately. Actually, she probably should have done that after last week's… incident, if not long before when she first realized her growing affections for her patient. Personally, on the other hand, she knew she was too invested to be able to walk away at this point.
Regina was just starting to confide in her and while it was still like pulling teeth to get any information from the older woman, Cameron had learned more in their last two sessions than she had in the first dozen combined. Anyone else would have to start from the beginning and the brunette could easily regress fully back into her delusion during the transition. What little progress she'd made so far was truly quite significant, if she was questioning her fantasy as much as the poem led Cameron to believe she was.
No, the other woman's life was too unstable at this point and she needed to know she wouldn't be abandoned. Now all Cameron needed to do was find a way to bring Regina fully back into this reality without nearly breaking her completely like she almost had this time.
Unfocused green eyes danced erratically over the supine form next to her, mirroring her jumping thoughts as she desperately searched for a way to break down the brunette's final barriers in a way that conveyed safety and trust. Her fluttering gaze landed on an incongruous spot of yellow in a sea of white. Clutched loosely in the sleeping woman's right hand was a slightly chewed pencil. Without only a few moments contemplation, Cameron reached over the bed and gently freed the writing instrument before setting it against the paper in her hand.
A/N: "Poem" is actually lyrics from I Am Only One by We are the Fallen. Great song, you should check it out. It's what inspired the whole chapter. Anyways... SORRY! I know it took forever for me to post again. Part of it was my video game, like i'd warned you all about, but most of it was that i got sucked into the Devil Wears Prada fandom. *hidesinshame* I've never even seen the movie! But there are a ton of great fics for it. I've probably read a few million words in several hundred stories over the last two weeks. Even at work, I did more reading than i actually did work stuff. Hehe. I just needed a mental break from OUAT for a bit, since I've been breathing, eating, and sleeping it since the very first episode. I've got my addiction under control now, however, so weekly updates are back on. There's about 4, maybe 5, chapters left so we are nearing the end! On that note, I've also got the two bonus fics I promised cause you guys have been amazing with the reviews and following me here and on twitter. One is already up on my livejournal account (same name as here just an underscore instead of a dash). That's Lost Before the Dawn. So check it out. I have the other one written and posted as a prologue, but I've changed my mind on it and that's going to be chapter 1 and i'm going to write a more interesting prologue that also explains a little more about what's going on. So once I finish that, I'll probably post them here and then let you guys choose which one you want me to work on next. I'm excited about both, so I really don't mind working on either. Okay, that's about it. Thanks for your patience with this update and thank you for all the wonderful comments you leave. Keep them up! I like knowing what you guys think and if there are anythings I need to work on. Luv ya all!