Chapter 12- Insight Into The Unknown.
Gaius blinked, letting the warm sunshine penetrate his pale skin and the warm summer breeze brush through his hair like invisible fingers, making him sigh with pleasure. The air around him smelled thickly of freshly cut grass and his nose twitched as he took a deep lung-full of the summery odour. Gently he lifted his arms up and tilted his head so he could gaze at the sky, big fluffy cotton wool like clouds moved slowly in one direction, following the wind and its quest. "Oh, how I've missed you," he whispered, rolling his sleeves up, letting every available particle of the sun's light touch him. Deep down he knew that none of this was real, but it seemed as real as he could possibly get given his circumstances. Even Cloud Nine didn't seem this real.
Something clattered in the distance, startling him. Suddenly becoming aware of the rest of his surroundings, he turned and realised that he was standing at the bottom of a long and grand street. The houses, lined either side of a wide concrete road were huge, some of the grandest structures he had ever seen. The house closest to him was the largest. It was a wide two-storey mansion with dark maple wood framed windows and stained glass. The building itself was white with thick beams worked into the brickwork and it suddenly dawned on Gaius where he was standing. He was in Caprica. This street was in one of the most sought after locations in the city, even he, who had tried as hard as he could to get a place here, had been denied.
Another noise in the distance made him turn toward the road, and a big silver car rolled down the street. "Where have you gone?" he cried, looking around nervously, realising that the car was heading towards him. "Come on, you're meant to be showing me something, not letting me play detective." He shoved his hands in his pockets and stepped onto the pavement, walking slowly with his head cocked awkwardly to the side, watching the car as it got closer and closer.
A tall gentleman climbed out of the car and seemed to look in Gaius's direction. Gaius, who wasn't sure what to do shouted, "Lovely weather, isn't it?" The man didn't do anything; instead he opened the back seat and pulled out a folder and briefcase.
"Well, at least I can't interact with this place then," he grumbled, turning around and walking back towards the house. "Hello?" he shouted, pulling his jacket off of his shoulder. "You certainly did well for yourself if this is the man that you were shacked up with. I knew it wouldn't be right for you to be living in a shed." He kicked a stone to the side of him and watched the man as he sat himself on the hood of the car, a quirky grin sat on his face.
"The money didn't bother me, Gaius," he heard Six whisper behind him. When he turned he stopped and stared at her, her thin body encased in a pastel coloured silk dress, a small shall wrapped around her shoulders.
"I find that hard to believe."
"I was a farm girl who came to the city to find work. My family- what I thought was my family- who I remember as my family, had all died in an accident and the farm in which I had lived, which I had thought I had lived closed down. I came here to find something else, something to keep me going. Instead, I found him. I was meant to find him. We fell in love. I had never felt anything like it, anything so powerful and pure. I didn't know what I was so everything I felt was real until the end. Until now."
Gaius stared at her for a few moments and then a small smirk crossed his face. "The Cylons programmed you to be a farm girl? Well that is surprising indeed."
"Honey?" the tall man shouted, his hands cupped around his mouth as he leaned forward.
"You're going to see things, Gaius. You'll learn things but you must make of things as best you can." Six turned and began walking into the distance, her feet taking her slowly over the thick green grass.
"What are you going to show me? Tell me? You'll help me right?" Gaius questioned.
"Just watch, Gaius." Six walked into the house, leaving Gaius where he stood, his mouth hanging open and a puzzled look on his face.
"Typical," he said, slamming his hands against his legs. "You can never get straight answers off of these damned robots." He ran his fingers through his hair and walked towards the car, standing in front of the man, glaring at him. "Well you are a fine looking fellow, aren't you?" Gaius, moved forward so his nose was a mere inch away from the mans face. "Just to let you know, I think you got yourself mixed up in something a little nasty, don't you?"
"You're back!" Gaius heard her yell as she ran out of the huge wooden front door, her bare feet making little tapping noises across the warm concrete.
Gaius managed to step out of the way just before she jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist, creasing his pinstriped trousers. "Sickening," he mumbled before standing to the side of them.
"I missed you," she said affectionately, her arms wrapping tighter around his neck.
"I was gone two hours, honey. I told you I wouldn't be long." He set her down on the floor and fished around in his pocket.
"It's your day off and I was meant to have you all to myself. Two hours seems so much more then that when you're on your own." She smiled gently and adjusted her shawl which had fallen down on one side.
When her eyes finally gazed over the car, her jaw dropped and her hand came up to her mouth. "You bought a new car?"
A big grin spread across the man's face, revealing a set of pearly white teeth. "I bought it for you." He took her hand in his and pulled her a little closer. "I thought it would come in handy. You can be a bit more independent."
Gaius snorted. "You are certainly asking for trouble there," he mumbled, taking a good look at the car.
"I can't take it," she said quietly letting him go. "It's too much."
Gaius watched as the man's face crumpled. "I want you to have it, it's a gift and you know I won't take no for an answer." He took her hand again. "I love you so much," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "Please, I want you to take it."
Gaius stood staring at the pair, feeling himself recoil at the 'lovey dovey' attitude that was emanating from them like a bad smell. Although, as much as he'd like to look away there was something that he was drawn to, and it was her expression. The smile, which now sat on her features was something, he had never seen before. Of course, when they were on Caprica together he had seen her smile on many occasions, but the one she had now was pure and brilliant and so full of light. She was care-free and full of happiness. Never, had he seen her like he had seen her now. It was slightly enthralling.
Six stepped forward and planted her lips on his and then wrapping him in a deep embrace. "I love you," she whispered, putting her head in the crook of his neck.
"I love you too," he said, handing her the keys.
'I don't really want to watch this," he murmured, turning around to gaze at the flowers in the garden next to him. "Ah, the Caprican Rose. I miss the sweet summery scent, which used to come from these."
He heard a giggle from behind him and turned himself around, watching as the man picked her up and carried her inside, closing the door behind him as he entered the house. Gaius stood for a few moments awkwardly looking around before following.
The first room was gigantic. The walls a very pale yellow with different multicoloured frames and art dotted along the side. On the far left, in the middle of the room was a grand mirror planted against the wall above a large wooden fireplace. The flooring matched the colour of the wooden fireplace, spreading out across the room. The sofa was huge; Gaius was sure that you could fit a party of twelve on it and still have room on either end.
As he walked across the wooden flooring he noticed a picture out of the corner of his eye and made his way towards it, giving the room another quick glance before looking at it. When he arrived, he squinted just to make sure that what he was seeing was right. Six stood with pigtails, bits of hair sticking out all over the place and a cheeky grin on her face. To the right of her was a younger blonde haired boy with matching dark blue dungarees, smiling at the camera. Both of them had small muddy smudges across their cheeks, the little boy holding a toy viper proudly in his hand. In the background was a big farmhouse with a bright red barn at the side, a field of yellow flowers to the right. "The attention to detail is very good," Gaius mumbled. "I take it this chap is her brother. The looks are uncanny. Obviously computer generated or something."
A high-pitched giggle came from in the kitchen and Gaius followed the laughter. When he entered the kitchen he paused. He was pretty sure that this kitchen was one of the biggest he had ever seen. Jealously, he glanced over it, thinking about what he had had in his home, the lavish furniture, the space, the lake and yet this just seemed so much more. Now what did he have? Nothing. His bed was upon a rusting old ship which was on the run from the Cylons- from Cylons like her.
So, where are we going for food?" the man said, wrapping his arms around her. "I said I'd take you out before I drop my formula sheets off."
"I'll cook! I seriously do not mind. And anyway, if we need to go out you need to get changed. This takes time." She smiled cheekily and moved a strand of hair out of his face.
"I can get ready quick. I think I will take you to that new restaurant on the lake front. We haven't tried that yet."
"It was on the television the other day saying that it was booked up for months."
"Oh, I'm sure I can swing it," he winked and turned around. "I'm going to go shower and get ready. I won't be long."
Six smiled absently and gazed around the kitchen. Gaius watched her as she turned around and began washing the dishes in the sink, humming a light tune to herself.
"Watch, Gaius," he heard her voice whisper in his ear and he did. His eyes didn't move from her, frightened that he would miss something.
Six stopped her washing and turned around, her face scrunched up in puzzlement. She stared into the distance and Gaius followed her gaze to the briefcase sat on the table. She dropped the cloth onto the floor and moved towards it, her eyes never shifting from its target and her body stiff. She stepped forward and placed her hands on either side of the case, moving her fingers absently over the locks on the outside, waiting to hear it click open.
After only a few seconds the case clicked open and Gaius watched as she pulled out a smaller briefcase. This, again only took a few minutes to get open. Intrigued, Gaius peered over her shoulder as she pulled out a red file with the word, "Confidential," written on the front. She opened it and pulled out the three sheets of pink paper on the inside. All across them were complex formulas and equations that even made Gaius think. He moved closer, moving his eyes to the paper.
"Oh my," he said. "I know what this is." Gaius skimmed his eyes over the page, his mind working through the chemical composition at the bottom. It looked familiar so he tried to break it down in his head. "It's similar to what is going on with the President." He waited for her to turn the pages over. "Where's the last line," he moaned. "That last line is the most important ingredient. You see this here? Well of course you can't, but yes, this is the antidote. To fully synthesise it you need this last line!" He slammed his hand on the side and put his hands across his face.
Six put the files back in their case and put them back where she first saw them, moving back to the sink. Gaius watched her, feeling annoyed about this wild goose chase. "You could have told me you couldn't actually give me the answer," he moaned.
Six stood, with her back against the counter, her face blank but her eyes filled with tears of confusion.
"Why does it look like you are going to cry? You've just found some of the most useful information ever. There's chemical weapon formulas and super secret military grade encryptions. Although, coming to think of it, what good would it be to the Cylons?"
"I didn't know what I was doing. When I got back to the sink I knew that something wasn't right, something just didn't add up. I'd seen myself go forward and open the case and look at the sheets. They made no sense to me of course. I couldn't understand what I was doing and why I was doing things like that without being able to control it. It scared me so much. I thought that I was going crazy. It was like I couldn't move, but a man with strings was making me do what I was doing. I know when others did things that were sleeper agents, they couldn't remember it at all. I could though." Six's voice said, echoing around him. "The formulas were very useful to us. Useful to our development. You forget, Gaius, that this was quite a long time before I met you."
"Ok. Well, you can explain later. Can I go now?"
The man walked in freshly dressed and smiling. He saw the briefcase and shook his head. "Almost forgot to put this in the safe," he said with a smile until he saw Six's face. "Honey? What's wrong?"
Six, who was still stood by the sink looking absently at the cloth on the floor blinked and looked up at him, quickly wiping the stray tear from her face. "Nothing."
"And I'm the President of the Twelve Colonies," he said sarcastically, walking over to her and placing his arm around her shoulder. "What's up?"
Six lifted her face up and grinned. "Oh, I'm just so happy. I can't believe we're going to get married!" She bounced on her feet, trying to disguise her inner turmoil over her previous actions. "It's like a dream."
He planted a kiss on her forehead and took her hand. "Come on, let's go."
Six smiled and followed him, briefly looking down at the cloth on the floor, giving it a quizzical look before returning her gaze to the direction she was going.
"Yes, yes, ok. Can I go now?" Gaius walked into the living room and watched as the two of them left through the front door. "Hello? What do I have to do? Is it like a dream? I mean, I could pinch myself but that would bring about pain. HELLO?!"
"There is more to come."
Gaius stomped his feet and watched as the whole room started turning black around him, the seats dissolving into nothing, the ceiling shrinking before fading into the distance. Unsure of what to do, Gaius began running in circles, trying to find some sort of exit or retreat. "Ok this isn't funny anymore. I've got what I need and I'll be happy if you just let me be back in reality." When Gaius got no reply he pinched himself on the arm. "Ow," he moaned before doing it again.
A cool breeze began washing over him and he stopped and looked to his left. "Now what?"
"You can't see anything, Gaius, because the time in the house doesn't exist as a memory. It can't work like that. There's more. It's not just about what you want to see either, you know."
/
Bill put his pen down and rubbed his tired eyes, lifting his gaze he caught the blank face of Laura who was looking down at the page in which he had just finished. "Anything useful?" he said, returning to the page of notes he had been keeping.
Laura chewed the pen, her eyes non responsive. "No."
Bill nodded his head. "Me neither. It seems that the last 3 days are more complex than the others. All I got out of it was that it was all going to go downhill from here."
"No kidding," she dropped the pen onto the desk and leant back into her chair. The truth was she hadn't read a thing. The sentences were difficult to understand, more so because she found even reading a simple document tedious and mind-boggling. It took her more than four times to read a sentence and make it make sense. Trying to decipher such deep and meaningful passages was like making the Quorum see sense. It just wouldn't happen. It was frustrating and rather then dwell upon the words and make her more and more angry, she gave up and decided to take it out on the pen.
"What do you think?" Bill lined his paper up with the previously used time-line, adding it to the end, extending all the information that they had.
"I think you should ask Geoffrey."
Bill shifted uncomfortably, still feeling guilty about what he had done. "I don't want to involve him. I'm still unsure about trusting him."
"Well, we're coming up with blanks so it would be better if we involved someone else." Laura stood up and walked towards the head. "I'm going in the shower."
"Laura, how are y-"
"I'm fine,' she said quietly. Since Cottle had been an hour or so after her turn and he told them she was indeed getting much worse, Bill had taken it upon himself to be more cautious and careful than he had been the past few days combined. She knew that it must have shaken him slightly to know that things were getting more difficult and getting so bad for her, but him asking her every few minutes how she was didn't help her growing frustrations. She knew also that it eased his increasing worry for her, she knew that his emotions were fragile now and what damage they could cause. It wasn't a great predicament. "I'm just going to have a quick shower to try and make me feel a bit better. See what else you can make of it and remember that you were going to cross-reference it with that book, the one Geoffrey quoted from when he arrived."
"Of course." Bill picked up the book which he had left at the side of his desk and quickly flicked to the prologue- the area that Geoffrey quoted from. When he had located what he was looking for he placed the book open on its front onto the desk and adjusted his glasses. Should he get Geoffrey? Although it dawned on him that the amount of information that the man had might just be as limited as himself, the giant might be able to make some sort of sense from it. Time was certainly of the essence at the moment and he still had to question Jones, something he wasn't looking forward to.
The shower turned on and he sighed, picking the book up and giving the part he had chosen a good read through, his mind not completely with it, his deep thoughts concentrating on the woman a few feet through a bulkhead.
/
Laura let the warm water flow over her body, hoping that it would do something to make her more alert than she had been. She watched as the water streamed down her legs into the basin at the bottom, big puffs of steam circling her as she turned the heat up. Water dripped off of her nose and chin and she stood, feeling every part of her body heat up.
As the minutes progressed the water got too hot, but Laura let it continue running, her mind becoming more and more foggy and her eyes altering focus on everything around her. The muscles in her legs began to ache and protest at the time being spent standing up, her vision blurring in front of her. As she exhaled, she leant out to place her hands on the bulkhead and leant her hands against its supporting surface. Instead of relying fully on her hands she then let her body flop against the bulkhead, her head directly under the spray. The sigh she let out was one of pure exhaustion and she ran her fingers through her soaked locks, trying to ignore the increasing dizziness spreading over her.
It was becoming unbearable- the lack of concentration, the lack of knowing oneself, the torture that consciousness was becoming. Maybe if she did pass out it would release some of this pressure that had begun building up inside of her. Her eyes were tired, burning and sore, hours spent open instead of closed. The time spent sleeping, no matter how long, would always leave her refreshed, her back and muscles finding it difficult to adjust to the long hours of nothing.
Laura let her body slide down so she was sat at the bottom of the shower, her arms wrapped around knees and her head leaning against the bulkhead. As her line of sight wavered she felt like she was on a boat, moving from side to side. Instead of trying to focus she just decided to closer her eyes, letting herself ride it out.
The water started to sting so she reached up and adjusted it, tilting it too far so that cold water started shooting out. Her arm, aching from its reach flopped back down and she let the freezing temperature of the water crash onto her flushed skin. Before she knew it she was shivering, her teeth chattering and her skin revelling in the different type of sensation that was now cascading all over her body.
After a few more minutes she pulled herself to her feet and switched the water off, stepping out of the shower and grabbing the towel, drying herself down and giving her hair a really good rub. There were some soft pyjamas laid to one side and she pulled them on before wrapping her dressing gown securely around her. Had the shower made her feel any better? The answer was no, but at least it was something to pass the time.
When she walked back out she could feel the cool water drip slowly down her back, her body responding with a shiver and her pyjamas soaking up the dampness as it reached the middle of her back.
"You cold?" Bill said, standing up and moving to the thermostat on the wall. "I can turn the heat up if you want?"
Laura absentmindedly nodded to Bill as she felt the dizziness swirl through her brain once more. It made sense that she should minimise the drop if she fell down so she thought it best to get to bed. "I'm just going to take a lie down," she mumbled quietly, folding her legs beneath her as she wrapped herself up in the blanket.
Bill played with the dial and then moved over to the bed. "You feeling ok?"
"Yes, Bill," her voice bit back at him; frustrated that it was the hundredth time she had been asked. "I'm just a little light-headed." When her fingers ran through her hair she remembered that her hair was soaking so she grimaced. "I'm getting your pillows all wet."
"Frak the pillows. You want me to get Cottle?"
"No, no, it's ok. I think I'll just lie here for a bit."
Bill wasn't too sure about this plan, so he stood up and walked towards the phone.
"Don't even think about it, Bill," Laura said loud enough for him to hear. "I'll talk to Cottle in the morning. I'm serious. Just, go do what you were doing over there a-"
"You'll let me know if it gets worse?"
Laura rolled her eyes. "Yes, Bill. I will, I promise." She pulled the covers up and closed her eyes, her mind still buzzing and unable to shut off.
Bill moved his way back to where he had been sat and felt himself worry, his heart beating painfully as a strong and sharp palpitation spread through it. Time was not on his side, and it was then he made a conscious decision- he had to get Geoffrey involved, or at least get him to help. He wasn't getting anywhere on his own.
/
Bill had a piece of paper in front of him and he was steadily jotting information from the novel 'Wartime Passion.' There were things in there he thought that had relevance to what was going on, but he couldn't be sure. It made sense for him to write everything down so that it was in one place, and then come back to it with his time line and begin analysing everything. If he were to begin doing that now he would probably get confused and miss something really important- which at this point in time he could not afford to do.
Since going through the story Bill had been refreshed about the plotline and it had almost stopped him in his tracks for a moment. It was set during the first Cylon war, a man and woman fighting for their love whilst fighting for their lives. In the end, after everything, they die- not a very happy novel in fact but brought about a truth to the brutality that was the first Cylon war. They died in each other's arms, love embracing them, keeping them together until the very end.
Bill looked up, his eyes tired but determined. If this book were to have any significance, he hoped that the strength and courage that each of the characters had in the story was to reflect what Laura and himself had. The ending, which he knew was sad, was not going to happen. There was no way he would let it. The thought of both of them dying made his heart rate increase and he held his chest as he felt it pulse angrily. He would do anything in his power to make sure that she was ok, that they were ok.
As Bill stared at her, he could see the difference that every hour was making. At the beginning there was energy, a force that was keeping her alive, keeping her spark fully ignited. Now, it seemed as if it was going or maybe even gone. She was incredibly weak now, finding it difficult to do much, but she stubbornly trudged on, like a soldier in the middle of a great battle she fought. He knew as well as most people she had a façade that was efficient at making her seem almost unstoppable. There had been times when he'd seen it down- he'd seen it more than anyone. But even now, when he knew that she was in a terrible place physically and emotionally, she still tried to keep that facade up. Deep down Bill hoped that this spirit would remain and help her through.
What hurt Bill the most, what made him angry and upset and made everything inside of him buzz was that he was slowly watching her slip away. It was silly, really to think that, but she really was slowly slipping away. No matter how much he tried she was still getting worse, her face paler, almost to the point now where she looked incredibly gaunt, her weight having decreased from her lack of regular meals. He'd have to change that. It was almost like watching someone fall over a cliff, you try your hardest to move and grab them, but instead you see them fall backwards in slow motion. She was falling in slow motion before him. There must be something more he could do, something more than just reading a book and something more than just watching her.
Laura adjusted herself, her head catching the dim light and Bill felt his chest come alive even more, a pain rushing through him. She looked so ill. Unable to think straight he stood up and walked into the head, turning the shower on and closing the door. It was so hard to see her like that, it cut him up more than he thought anything ever could.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Bill leant against the sink, trying desperately to calm himself down. It was hard for him, but he knew that he couldn't get himself into a state. If he had to keep away from her, working hard to do something to help then that's what he had to do. Bill was a soldier and as much of a soldier as he was, he could never deal with his actions if he ended up hurting her.
/
"I don't care if you've been in this room for 12 hours! You will stay put until I think best!" Cottle threw his stethoscope into his bag and crossed his arms over his chest. "Laura, you're really ill. How can I explain that further than I already have? You're hallucinating; you're losing energy, getting dizzy. You're life is hanging in the balance and you are determined to use what little energy you have left on things that can wait. Frankly I'm surprised you have any energy left at all."
"I have things to do! It's ok for the Admiral to go about his business but you're making me stay here!" Laura threw the covers off of her body and moved her legs so that they were hanging out of the bed. It had been approximately 14 hours since she had 'hallucinated,' and since then she had been climbing the walls. Granted, she felt really bad, her head throbbing, her body aching and her general energy level had plummeted. She just didn't like the idea of staying put when there was so much she could be doing. If the fleet could run itself then she could just lie here, but in the real world, it didn't. Things had to be done.
"I don't think you can compare conditions with the Admiral," Cottle said, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "The Admiral can go about without any complications as long as he can control himself. As you know, it all depends on his emotions. I've briefed him Gods knows how many times now and he understands. It took me long enough to drill it into his thick military skill. We all know that leadership is a high stress job, but he's taking it easy, if I can term it like that. In fact, I think going to get you some food is probably the least stressful job he could be doing at the moment. If you can keep him in here then do that, but I'm telling you that you must stay here. Give yourself a rest! Do some research! Just don't exert yourself."
Laura gave in and let her body fall against the pillow. "Well, it's not as if I can exert myself in this rack, is it?"
Cottle turned to see the hatch open and the Admiral walk in with a tray full of food. When he returned his gaze to Laura he raised his eyebrow and stood up. "As I said, don't do anything where you will exert yourself."
"Leaving so soon?" Bill said, placing the tray on the small table.
"You two are not the only two sick people on this ship," Cottle said, pulling a cigarette from his pocket. "I also have the pleasure of going to see Gaius. See if he has made progress with either of you."
"Much appreciated, Doc," Bill said, pulling out the cutlery and placing it on either side of the plates. "Let us know if anything changes, ok?" Cottle grunted and walked out of the hatch, a lighter in his hand and his cigarette in his mouth.
"I have paperwork to do, meetings to arrange!" Laura shook her head and let her hands fall defeatedly into her lap.
Bill picked up the tray and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge. "You know that it's best not to," he said, putting the tray on the bed. "I bought you this down because I think it might make you feel better. You need as much energy as you can."
Laura looked down at the big pile of noodles and felt her stomach clench uncomfortably. "I'm not hungry."
"You have to eat something. Since all of this started you haven't been eating properly and you can't do that to yourself." When he saw her look away, her face altering shade slightly he put it on the floor and moved up the bed. "Can I ask you something?"
Laura adjusted the covers. "As long as you aren't going to lecture me about what I need to do then you can ask me whatever the frak you want."
Bill's brows furrowed at her sudden change of attitude. "What's going on with you? I mean, last night you weren't well and since I got up this morning you've been dead set on causing as much disruption as you can. Why, when things are already bad enough, do you want to cause so much trouble?"
"That's what you were going to ask me?" Laura raised her brow sharply. "Out of everything you want to ask me that?"
"Well, no actually it wasn't. You have been a little off this morning, though, you have to admit it." When he saw her glare at him he shook his head. "I was going to ask you why you are making things so difficult for yourself. Now you're in a bad mood and lashing out at everyone. I know it's hard, I know it's a lot to deal with but don't lash out at the people trying to help you. Cottle only wanted to check on you, Billy only wanted to hand you some work, Starbuck only wanted to know if you'd unwrapped the parcel she brought down- each and every single one of those people were trying to do something good for you and you've lashed out and verbally attacked them. Why?" When Bill stopped he knew that he had asked a somewhat stupid question. He'd been a part of it for the last few days. It wasn't rocket science and when he saw her facial expression he knew that he should have kept himself quiet.
"Why? You want to ask me why?" Laura lifted herself upright and climbed out of bed, the muscles down her legs aching and her heartbeat thumping hard in her ears. Then she began to pace slowly up and down the front of the rack. Since being told to relax the previous night all she had done was think. Being confined in a small amount of space with a whole lot of time on your hands was enough to send anyone up the wall. She had wanted to read, but her eyes protested and she found she couldn't focus on the words. When she had taken a shower, hoping to somewhat increase her alertness she had leaned against the shower bulkhead and exhaustion had overcome her to the point where she thought she was going to pass out, but she hadn't, she had experienced the conscious equivalent. In the end she just sat there, not moving, not doing anything, hoping she could pass out so her body could rest. Things were becoming fuzzy, lines overlapping and conversations becoming more difficult. Everything was turning off, but no matter how hard she tried she could not rest her tired mind, it continuing to think and tick and make her ponder every little detail about every little thing. Sometimes even that was difficult, her brain not making the right connections between one thought and another somewhat similar idea. Inside she was sure that if she was anyone else she would be talking complete nonsense by now. All the thinking and pondering over her situation had left her with a deep bitterness and anger. The fiery temper raging within her was something she was clinging on to. Anger was one of those pure emotions that could either cloud your mind or give you a sense of clarity. Clarity is what she wanted. She didn't know how long it would be until she couldn't talk, move or do anything.
"Yes, Laura, I asked why." Bill stood up, and grabbed her by the arm to stop her pacing. When she looked at him he could see past the anger and he felt his heart rate increase, the blood pumping through him. Deep inside he could see that it was finally beginning to overcome her. More than he had witnessed previously.
Laura wriggled out of his grasp and walked away from him. "Don't."
"Don't what?"
"That," she said accusingly, pointing at him as he sat down on the rack. "Don't do that."
"What?"
"Look at me like that! Just don't." Laura let the anger flow through her, adrenaline kicking in and her body's energy boosting that little bit more.
Bill didn't say anything for a moment, watching as she scrunched her face up and run her hands through her hair. She was so angry and upset and it annoyed him to see. Bill took a deep breath and made his way towards her.
Laura caught him out of the corner of his eye and moved away. "I need this," she shouted. "I NEED this."
"You need to push everyone away from you? Why do you?" Bill cut her off and stood in front of her with his arms folded in front of him.
"I need this," she said, pointing towards herself, taking her glasses off. "I need to feel this!"
Bill could feel himself getting a little angry and he stepped back. "YOU, need to feel this?" he mumbled angrily.
Laura stepped forward and planted her finger on his chest. "I need to feel this, Bill. It makes me feel alive, it keeps me going and It's getting so hard to do anything anymore so I need a sense of clarity and power to keep me going. Anger does that, it makes me feel more alive."
Bill grabbed her arm, moving it away from his chest. "You need to feel anger? Laura you are not the only person involved in this now."
"I can only do what is right for myself," she said, quietening awkwardly at the end of the sentence, realising that she had been out of line. "Bill, I-I-"
"Do what's right for you? Well, don't mind me then. It doesn't matter that if you feel pain, I feel it too, ripping through my insides, my chest beating hard. If you feel sad, it aches inside of me. When I saw you hurt I've never lost it like that before." Inside his chest he felt the soreness build, thinking about what she had just said to him.
"I didn't mean it like that at all," she whispered, the anger dissipating from her pores, her body growing a little weaker. "Of course I didn't mean it like that."
"No, but it is," he said quietly, lifting his blue eyes to her. "That's all it is for me. It's just you. At this moment, everything that I do is for you; everything that I feel is for you. Laura, you're everywhere. Do you not see that? If I lose it, it's because of you, when I get up and work from that book, it's for you."
"You need to look after yourself too, Bill."
"But how can I? When it's all down to you? Laura, do you not understand now, how I am is down to you?"
"Of course I do," she said, remembering how scared she got in the sickbay when his monitors had gone off.
"Laura, I will do everything for you, to make sure you're ok." He let go of her arm, realising that he still had hold of her.
"Because then it means you're ok," she said, nodding quietly.
"No." Bill's face was very serious as he gazed into her eyes, a look of pure determination on his face.
"What? Isn't that what you just said?" Laura looked into his eyes, wondering where he was going with it all.
"No. I will do everything for one reason and one reason only, regardless of how it will affect me. If it makes me feel good then great, but I will do it for just one thing."
Laura's brow creased in confusion. "I don't understand. What will you do it for?"
"Because I love you."
Laura stared at him for a few short moments, tears biting at the edges of her eyes. When it was all too much for her, a fire and heat igniting in the pit of her stomach, she took Bill's hand and pulled him towards her. "Oh, Bill." In that moment she felt like she needed to touch him and be as close as she possibly could so she nestled herself into the crook of his neck.
Bill smiled and he felt his chest calm, a warm buzzing sensation travelling through his veins. Beneath him he could feel her breath against his neck and he sighed because of that brief moment of bliss he was feeling. It didn't take much, even just this close contact felt amazing to him.
Laura pulled away and placed her hands on his cheeks, moving her face towards him. When she was close enough she pressed her lips against Bill's for a brief but gentle kiss. "I love you too, Bill. So very much."
Bill smiled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in tight. "No matter what, we'll be together. No more silliness, though. We need to work together, not against each other. Ok?"
/
Gaeta moved the pen downwards as ran his eyes over the piece of paper that he had placed to his left. Progress had been made with the encrypted message and he was trying as best he could to make it all fit, an excited rush running through him as each piece was put together.
The other piece of paper in front of him had clear labels and the monitor kept flashing up a series of numbers and letters which, after spending days figuring out, could now correspond to a key.
"Sir," Gaeta yelled, turning to Tigh who was stood by the Dradis console, his face blank.
Tigh walked lazily over, the extra shifts starting to take their toll on him. "What is it?"
Gaeta turned around, a small smile on his face. "I've cracked it."
Tigh nodded his head and turned to Dee, who was working on some paperwork in front of her. "Get me the Admiral."