A/N: I realize my spelling of some of the servant's names has been a bit inconsistent. For one, I honestly had no idea what Maylene's name could be, and the only spelling that I could think of was for a Chinese name that sounds pretty similar and that was Mei Lin (which is why I spelled it that way, even though it doesn't make much sense). But now I'm going to spell her name as Maylene since that's an actual English spelling of her name.
Also, thank you for the reviews everyone, hope your holidays were wonderful. There is very little left to this story (though I can't give a good chapter estimate because I thought this would wrap up about 6 chapters ago), and I'm grateful to everyone who's read it through so far. ^_^
Persona is a Latin word that can refer to a mask (as in the persona that one dons on stage), or as the quality of a person's character. I am using both meanings for this chapter title.
Chapter 12: Persona
Maylene awoke to the sound of Sebastian knocking lightly upon her door to wake her up. The sunlight filtered in through the blinds of her room, and she fumbled for her glasses on the bedside table. It was just barely after sunrise, a bit earlier than she was accustomed to waking, and she groggily pulled herself out of bed. When Sebastian's knocking persisted, she snapped awake, realizing that he wanted to actually speak with her and not just wake her up. Hurriedly straightening her sleeping gown, she rushed to the door and opened it cautiously, absentmindedly pulling at her hair to make it a little more presentable. Sebastian stood in the doorway, looking as perfect as he always did and wearing that familiar smile that made her knees weak.
"Y-yes, mister Sebastian?"
Sebastian gave her a small nod of his head and spoke.
"I'm sorry to have to wake you up a bit earlier this morning..."
"Oh, oh no! It's no-no problem at all!" Maylene hurriedly shook her head, hiding her blushing face behind her hands as best she could. Sebastian was such a gentleman! And she looked so... if anything she should be apologizing for looking so unpresentable!
"...but I need you to tend to Lady Elizabeth this morning."
Maylene's blush quickly faded and she lowered her hands slightly. "Eh?"
"Well obviously, no one was expecting to stay the evening in this house, and Lady Elizabeth does not have her handmaiden present. Therefore, you will have to fill that role this morning."
Maylene's eyes widened behind her lenses.
"B-but, I've never..."
"There isn't too much expected of you. There is already a change of clothes laid out in the room. You would just have to help her change and tend to her injuries." As he spoke, he handed her the small box he was holding in his hands.
"Injuries?"
"Nothing major. Just a few scratches. You've had some experience in tending injuries, I'm sure."
Maylene grasped the medicinal box tightly in her hands. She had mostly dealt with bullet wounds, but it was true she had the basic idea. Slowly, hesitantly, she nodded her head in assent.
"I'm sure you'll be a splendid handmaiden." Sebastian gave her his most charming smile, and then turned to leave. Maylene felt steam rising out of her ears at that smile. He really was just too handsome.
Before turning the corner, Sebastian stopped and turned back around.
"Oh yes, Lady Elizabeth's room is the second guest room on the first floor of the East Wing. And I will take care of your usual duties. Today your only responsibility is to the Lady."
Maylene stood in silence for a bit after Sebastian left, looking down at the box she held. She was relieved to hear that the Lady had been safely retrieved, but the fact that she had injuries was most troublesome. Just what had she experienced? Maylene then quickly withdrew into her room to change, not wanting to dawdle. She would do her best to be of some comfort to the Lady, who hopefully didn't have to go through anything a young woman shouldn't have to.
She walked quickly down the hallways to the East Wing, reaching Elizabeth's room fairly quickly. But she hesitated slightly before she knocked gently on the door.
"Who is it?" Lady Elizabeth's voice was so soft behind the door it was barely audible.
"It-It's Maylene, my lady. I'm here to tend to you this morning."
There was silence, and Maylene briefly began to panic, wondering if she had been too inappropriate. Perhaps the lady didn't want such a clumsy maid as herself to take care of her? It would only be understandable. But after a while, the small, timid voice came again from behind the door.
"Come in."
Maylene gently opened the door, finding Lady Elizabeth sitting upright in her bed, her pillows situated against the headboard of the bed so that she could lean back against them comfortably. Her hands were folded neatly in her lap above the sheets, and she greeted the entering maid with a soft smile. With her soft face gently illuminated by the sunlight drifting in through her open windows, Maylene saw the small cut on her lip and the slight discoloration of a bruise on her cheek. She quickly rushed over to the bedside, gently opening the box and taking out its contents.
Maylene was, of course, highly curious as to what happened last night, but she dared not ask or speak out of turn. The Lady, who was normally so bright and full of life, seemed so distraught, Maylene was unsure of what to say. She was so terribly afraid of saying the wrong thing. She dabbed a small amount of rubbing alcohol onto a small cloth, and held it up to Elizabeth's face.
"This will sting a bit, my lady." Elizabeth nodded softly, and Maylene applied the cloth to her lip as gently as possible. Wiping at her lip and chin gently, Maylene wiped away the dried blood on her face. She thought of how ironic it was that she was sitting there, taking such care of a beautiful young noblewoman. Her hands were so accustomed to holding firearms and hurting people, she was unaccustomed to seeing them do anything more than cause pain and trouble.
She couldn't help but feel a swell of gratitude in her heart to the master. If he had never taken her in, she didn't think she could ever imagine herself doing some of the things she did now. She was unbelievably proud to be a servant to his household. She found herself incredibly fortunate to be living her current life. A small, fond smile found its way to Maylene's lips and Elizabeth took notice.
"What is it?" Elizabeth asked gently.
Flustered by the sudden question, Maylene quickly shook her head.
"It's no-nothing, my lady!" She quickly took hold of Elizabeth's left hand, gently dabbing at the small scratches that marred her porcelain skin there. She bowed her head deeply, her cheeks red with embarrassment.
Elizabeth smiled gently, and placed her other hand reassuringly on Maylene's. She had always liked Maylene and the other servants who worked in Ciel's household. Unlike Sebastian, they weren't difficult to read. And it was obvious to everyone at first glance how much they treasured their master. The three of them were especially friendly with each other, and it was their presence that made Ciel's lonely manor feel like a home. Ciel no longer smiled, so they smiled for him. He brought no laughter so they laughed in his place to fill the silence. She had always been glad for them.
"Thank you, Maylene. I'm glad Ciel has people like you by his side."
Maylene blushed furiously at the Lady's words. They meant more to her than the young lady would ever know.
"Th-thank you, Lady Elizabeth. But the master is even more lucky to have you as his bride!" Maylene gave a wide grin, but Elizabeth's smile quickly fell from her face. Turning away, she fell silent, and Maylene wondered what she had said wrong.
When she had finished with Elizabeth's minor injuries, she helped Elizabeth out of the gown she was in, which had a few blood stains near the hem, and helped her into the gorgeous one Sebastian had laid out for her. It was a beautiful cerulean blue with white accents. It had belonged to Ciel's mother, the late Rachel Phantomhive. Maylene thought Elizabeth looked stunning in the dress, but Elizabeth merely looked at her reflection with what seemed like boredom.
"I think you look beautiful, Lady Elizabeth!" Maylene stood behind her with admiration. It had been her first time helping a lady get dressed, but she had managed to not botch it up!
Elizabeth fingered the soft fabric between her gloved fingers.
"Is this your dress, Maylene?"
"What? Oh, oh heavens no!" Maylene shook her head profusely, her glasses in danger of flying clear off her face. "I don't own such lovely gowns as a mere maid!" And before she had become a maid, she had never worn a dress either, she thought to herself. "That gown belonged to the master's late mother."
Elizabeth's eyes widened in surprise, before being replaced with an expression Maylene could not name. Was it sadness? But she looked so wonderful!
Elizabeth turned toward the mirror again, analyzing her reflection. She could vaguely remember her aunt Rachel in her memory. She had been a wonderfully elegant woman. Everything she did was picture perfect, serene, and beautiful. When Elizabeth was making herself into a proper lady through her teenage years, she had taken the memory of Rachel Phantomhive as her role model. Such a lovely woman had been Ciel's mother, and he deserved no less of a woman for his wife, she had thought. But standing in front of that mirror, wearing her gown, Elizabeth couldn't help but think she had failed utterly. She was nothing like Ciel's mother. The previous Earl had chosen her, and wisely he did so. Elizabeth had not been chosen by Ciel, but given to him. In fact, the one Ciel actually chose was...
"You look dazzling, my lady." Maylene shot her the warmest smile she could, before stepping aside and gesturing to the door. "Your parents are anxious to see you. They were positively inconsolable last night." As Maylene moved towards the door, Elizabeth grabbed her hand for comfort.
Looking down at the dainty gloved hand grasping her own, Maylene looked up to find small tears forming in Elizabeth's eyes.
"Maylene, I can't. I can't go out there."
Maylene found her mind swimming. She had absolutely no idea how to handle this type of situation. Instinctively she brought her other hand to grasp Elizabeth's hand firmly, and walked her over to the plush chair that was in the room. Sitting her down gently, she kneeled at the Lady's feet, never letting go of her hands.
"My lady, what's wrong?"
Tears began to fall freely down Elizabeth's face. Maylene hurriedly reached into her apron to offer her a handkerchief. Elizabeth took it, but made no motions to wipe away her tears. Her body was racked with light sobs, and she could barely muster out her next words.
"Maylene, I... I'm a failure."
"Don't say such things, my lady! None of what happened last night is your fault at all!"
"No, no..." Elizabeth sniffled gently. "It's not that at all."
Maylene fell silent, allowing Elizabeth to speak at her own pace.
"It's just that I... I failed Ciel."
Maylene grasped Elizabeth's hand more tightly in her own. She was just a maid. She had no understanding of the social expectations and responsibilities that weighed on Elizabeth's shoulders. She had no idea what was expected of a lady, or what needed to be done to prepare to be the wife of a nobleman like her master. Before she had entered the Phantomhive household, she had barely understood what it was like to be a normal human being. She had taken life without mercy, and knew no family nor shame. But even though she had no comprehension of Elizbaeth's pain, she found that the words came to her easily. And for that, she was glad.
"My lady, I am certain that my master does not think such thoughts of you. You are a beautiful, respectable woman of class and intelligence. And I am sure that he cares for you very deeply."
I can't bring you into the darkness with me.
Ciel's words echoed in Elizabeth's ears.
Maylene gave the brightest smile she could. "And besides, my master isn't the type of man to make a lady cry."
I don't want to put you in danger.
Elizabeth took deep breaths, trying to find the strength to calm herself down. Softly she whispered,
"I'm nothing like her..."
"Like who, my lady?"
"Ciel's mother." Elizabeth clutched at the fabric of her dress, almost resenting the feel of it on her skin. It didn't belong on her. It felt wrong, almost.
"I don't think the master expects or even wants you to be like her at all. To me, it has always seemed as though he cared for you as who you are."
Elizabeth looked into Maylene's face, feeling tremendous affection for the maid.
"You are not Rachel Phantomhive. You are Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Middleford. I think you should be the lady you always have been, and the master will continue to care for you regardless."
Elizabeth glanced into the mirror across the room, seeing her reflection a bit differently than before. She supposed Maylene was right. She was not Rachel Phantomhive, and it had been a mistake to ever to have tried to be her. She was not a Phantomhive, and she would never be a Phantomhive. But underneath that mask she had tried to fit onto herself there existed another woman. And she came from a proud legacy. Her father was a royal lead knight, and her mother was a noble lady who bested even her father in strength. Her brother Edward was as fierce as their parents and was currently serving proudly in the Queen's royal guard. Suddenly she found herself wanting to cast off the role she had wanted for so long and reclaim the legacy that had been hers to begin with.
So Ciel would not take her as his wife. But he was still her cousin, and she still loved him. At the very least, she could support him with her own status.
"Maylene." Her voice held a strength she didn't know she had. Maylene snapped to attention, moved by the firmness in Elizabeth's voice. Elizabeth looked into Maylene's face and smiled sweetly. Her tears were gone.
"Thank you." She stood up, and Maylene picked herself up off the floor to stand beside her. Striding elegantly towards the door, she felt herself shedding years of her training. She was different than she was yesterday. She was no longer ignorant, and she felt one burden being replaced by another. But the new load felt comfortable somehow. With Maylene following dutifully behind her, she walked steadily towards the grand dining hall where the others were waiting for her arrival. Maylene stepped ahead to open the doors for her, and Elizabeth entered gracefully, greeted by the warm smiles of her parents and a relieved expression on Ciel's face.
Her father immediately rushed to her, holding her tightly in a firm embrace.
"Lizzie! My Lizzie, we're so glad you're all right!" When he finally let go of her, Elizabeth was under the impression she could breathe again before she was quickly embraced again by her mother, who was trying her best not to cry torrents of relief.
The happy reunion brought relief to Ciel, who watched the display of affection from his chair, Sebastian standing dutifully beside him. He could honestly say he was happy for them. He stood from his chair, breaking their moment, and strode carefully forward. Standing at a closer distance but still out of arms reach, Ciel stood in front of Elizabeth and her family, giving her the warmest smile he knew how to give.
"I'm glad you're safe." His eyes looked into hers carefully, trying to convey more than he could speak. She saw his expression, heard the carefully controlled tone of his voice, and understood it all.
"As expected of my future son and his remarkable butler!" The Marquis rushed forward to grasp Ciel in a tight embrace as well, knocking him quite off balance and very much by surprise. "I feel nothing but absolute confidence leaving Lizzie in your care!"
Ciel cleared his throat awkwardly. He wanted to correct his uncle-in-law, but felt that it wasn't quite the appropriate time or place. The kidnapping from the night before complicated things a bit, and he wasn't at all sure how to reveal the cancellation of their engagement now. But even as those thoughts plagued him, Elizabeth spoke up from behind them.
"Actually father, we-I have something I need to speak with you about."
The Marquis released his death grip on Ciel and turned to face his beloved daughter.
"Oh? What is it sweetheart?"
As her parents looked at her expectantly, Elizabeth turned her gaze upon Ciel, who looked at her with caution. He was very certain that now was a terrible time to tell them.
Looking into her parent's eyes, Elizabeth was reminded of how much she loved them, and how much they loved her. She had come from a loving family who had cared for her tremendously as she was growing up, and she had Ciel's affection as well. She knew that the news would disappoint them, perhaps even shame them, but she knew it had to be done. Taking a deep breath, she spoke as firmly as she could.
"We're not getting married."