Embarrassment 12: To Want and Need

There are moments when your mind is unable to accept something as reality. When that happens, it will automatically shut out the idea. Keitaro's mind, for example, was unable to handle the memory of what happened. His mind freaked out before he could ever finish the dream. When he awoke, he realized that he had been out for over eight hours and it was dark outside. He had passed out on the couch and it wasn't long before he realized that he was drenched in his own sweat and tears.

"Get out of my head," Keitaro muttered to himself. "It wasn't my fault. There was nothing I could do."

Keitaro found himself wanting to go home. He found himself wanting to leave these states and go back to Tokyo where he felt safe. Keitaro even found himself thinking about Kanon. He thought about the last time he had called her, how he had hung up on her without even saying goodbye. The thought crossed his mind to give her a call but it was morning in Japan right now and the young half-vampire would most likely be asleep.

There's nothing left for me here, he thought sadly as he thought about his failed mission. That man is right. All I can do now is wait. Kanon is going to cry so hard when I tell her. Poor girl. But I have to tell her. It's time to go home.

Even though Keitaro's news would be anything but cheerful, the fact that he would be home soon would definitely be good for Kanon. He decided that he would surprise her by showing up and not tell her he was coming home. After all, he still had a couple of days to find a flight back. He figured that she could handle a couple more days without him if it meant that he would be able to surprise her.

It may have been for the better though if Keitaro had decided to give her a call. Even though it was almost nine in the morning in Japan and the morning sun was shining down, Kanon still hadn't gone to sleep. She happened to be thinking about Keitaro and wondering about him. For her, there hadn't been a single day that went by that she didn't think about him. Now that it was going on the third week since he had left she was starting to miss him. Not only that, Nariko had been pestering her about him ever since she found out that she had a boyfriend. Nariko only gave her trouble because Kanon was usually a klutz when it came to boys. It was still true too. Anytime Kanon was around a boy she always seemed to freeze up and get nervous. But Keitaro wasn't like other boys.

"Not only do you have a boyfriend who sound hot," Nariko teased her last night, "but he's an older boy as well. I'm impressed Kanon. Does this Keitaro have a job?"

"Um… Yeah he does," Kanon replied, going red in the face.

"Well don't leave me in the dark, Kanon," Nariko continued. "What does he do?"

"He works for a bank," she said immediately, thinking of the first thing that came to her mind.

"Wow. I bet he makes a lot of money. So when can I meet him?"

"I'll introduce you to him when he gets back," Kanon said, still going red in the face. She wasn't used to this kind of reaction.

That morning, as Kanon tried desperately to go to sleep before her work shift, she couldn't help but wonder what Keitaro was up to right now. She had tried to call him a couple of times but he had never answered the phone. She just hoped everything was alright. She still didn't fully understand why Keitaro was there. She knew that he was trying to find a cure to the half-vampire problem. But she still couldn't fully understand why she didn't seem to be affected.

I'm a half-vampire, she thought, rolling over onto her side and staring blankly into space. So why don't I seem to ever have the problems that Keitaro does? Is it because of what I am?

It was a big mystery as to why Kanon didn't have any of the qualities of any half-vampire. She fed on blood way more than once a month. She never had a problem controlling her urges. She even had more vampiric powers than a normal half-vampire. The only explanation that she had for it was that she was the pushuke, so it was natural for her to be different than any other vampire.

Kanon hardly slept at all that day and before she knew it, it was noon and her alarm was going off to get ready for work. She was so tired the entire day that she hardly paid attention to anything that she was doing at work. Twice she managed to knock something over because she wasn't paying attention to where she had been going. Of course the manager was going to say something.

"Usui, are you doing okay?" Hina said coming up to her after catching her sitting on some boxes in the back sleeping.

"I'm sorry, Manager," Kanon said, jumping to her feet and bowing. "It won't happen again."

Manager Hina smiled. "Don't worry about it, Usui. I remember when I was your age. I take it you had a rough night last night?"

"I've just been thinking about some stuff," Kanon said, staring down at the ground. "I didn't get much sleep."

"Well, it doesn't look like there will be many people here today," the manager said thoughtfully. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off and go home to get some sleep."

"Oh…. No… I could never do that," she immediately replied shaking her head. "I couldn't leave you to work all by yourself."

Hina laughed. "Don't worry about it. Besides, you're always working extra hours to help me out around the bakery. The least I could do is let you off early once and a while."

It was true. Hina's bakery was a privately owned business run by just a few people. Kanon was always taking all the work she could get because she had to pay for all of her own expenses.

"Are you sure?" Kanon asked with uncertainty.

"Of course. I don't want you hurting yourself because you're tired."

Kanon was too tired to argue with her so she went into the back and changed out of her uniform before heading home. It was only five in the evening by the time that she made it to home, but since it was winter, the sun was already starting to set in on the horizon. This time when Kanon tried to go to sleep, she didn't have to wait long. In fact she had barely taken off her clothing and crawled into her bed before she was out like a light.

As she slept she had a dream about her and Keitaro sitting on the edge of a cliff that overlooked the entire city. Down bellow, there wasn't a single sound. Not even the whisper of the wind. It was as if Keitaro and Kanon were the only ones left in the entire world. Keitaro held her hands so delicately and he said something that she couldn't make out. But before she knew what was happening, Keitaro started to disappear. He literally went transparent right before her eyes before vanishing from sight. The next thing Kanon knew, she was all alone, with nothing to comfort her but the empty city below and the pain.

"Keitaro!" she screamed, sitting up in her bed.

Her heart was racing in her chest and it took her a few moments to realize it was all a dream. When she glanced down at the clock on her bedside table, she realized that she had been sleeping for almost three hours. Even though it was only a dream, it really seemed to bother her. It was one of her biggest fears that one day she will be all alone. For the most part, Kanon did feel very much alone in the world. She was part of two worlds and was completely different than either one. Being the Pushuke had always singled her out from everyone else. That was why she turned to Keitaro. But deep down, she always had the fear that her and Keitaro were never meant to be together. They both caused too much of a burden on each other to be happy so how could it ever work out? But at the same time, Kanon could never let Keitaro go because she doesn't want to be alone anymore.

Before Kanon could ponder much more on this matter, she heard the sound of the front door opening downstairs. Kanon quickly rolled out of her bed and changed into her clothes before heading downstairs to see who had come home. It brought some joy to her heart when she found out that it was her mother.

"Mama," Kanon said giving Karin a smile when she entered the family room. Everyone else was already in there, excluding Tohru, Ren, and Bridget. Bridget was still at home, Ren was stilled out in his coffin, and Tohru had disappeared off into the night already. "How did it go?"

"It was boring…. As usual," Carrera stated, pouring herself a glass of chilled liars blood. "What else do you expect?"

"I don't know," Henry said thoughtfully. "The fact that there have been so many births this year is good news to hear."

He gave a glance over to Kanon, expecting her to look away. The vampire birth rate obviously was due to Kanon giving her blood, but it was still a very touchy subject. The Maakas didn't talk about the ritual or anything that had to do with Kanon being the Pushuke. But Kanon just smiled.

"So I guess that means that the vampire race won't die out now?" she asked.

"Well," Henry said slowly, "it's not a sure thing yet. Our race is still very scarce….. But I'm sure that things will be fine now."

It actually made Kanon feel good that she made a difference. It was at least better than finding out that she had almost died for no reason what so ever. The way Kanon saw it, she was still breathing. So she didn't really mind thinking about the ritual at this point. As long as she wouldn't have to ever go through with it again in the future, that is.

"Anju," Carrera said, turning the attention to her daughter, "there are more vampires coming soon asking for you. Try not shooting them down so quickly this time."

Anju had been rather silent so far, sitting in her chair with Boogie in her lap. There was a noticeable shutter when she heard this and her eyes glared off into space with the intent to kill. But it was Boogie that decided to speak for her.

"How many more vampires are you going to send towards her before you figure out that she doesn't want anything to do with them?" he wondered.

"You can't be single forever, Anju," Karin commented.

"What about you, Karin?" Boogie continued. "You're all alone now that Kenta is gone. Why don't you find someone?"

"Well…. That is…. You see," she said, going as red as her eyes.

"Karin doesn't need to find somebody because she already has a descendant," Carrera said, pointing to Kanon.

"I won't do it, Mama," Anju said, barely letting her voice travel above a whisper.

That was all she said before walking out of the room. Nobody tried to stop her though but as soon as she was gone, Henry spoke up.

"I just don't know what I'm going to do with her," he said aloud, though it was obvious he was speaking to himself. "Of course I don't want to give my daughter away to some selfish vampire from another clan. But she can't expect to be alone her entire life during times like these. The vampires know just how important she is."

"Papa," Karin said softly. "Please don't make it so hard on Anju. I'm sure she'll find somebody soon. I'll talk to her…. Oh, I almost forgot. Kanon, there's also a vampire waiting for you in the park."

"uhhhhh…Me?" Kanon said, completely surprised. "Why would one want to see me?"

"His name's Takeshi. He said that he wanted to meet you face to face. He said that he was there when you…. Well you….. went through that thing," she paused. "He asked if he could come and meet you to thank you."

Kanon really didn't know what to say. She wasn't really expecting something like this. It was hard to say if she liked the idea or not.

"Are you sure it's okay?" Kanon asked.

"Don't worry about it," Carrera answered. "If he's any trouble or you want him to leave, just tell him too. Our deal states that while they are on our territory they have to do what we say."

"And I'll have my bats nearby just in case," Karin added. "What do you say, Kanon. I think it would be nice to meet him. He really seems like a nice person."

Kanon, being the nice girl that she was, couldn't refuse the request.