Chapter 12: Faith in You

Abigail Stanton smiled to herself as she watched Jack and Elizabeth laughing with Rosemary and Lee over by the bar. It really was incredible how time changed things. It didn't seem that long ago that Elizabeth and Rosemary were rivals for Jack's attention; though the truth be told Elizabeth didn't really have to fight that hard to get his attention. Actually Abigail had felt a bit sorry for Jack at the time; his relationship with Elizabeth had been fairly new and they had already hit several bumps in the road by the time Rosemary had appeared in town. The last thing he needed was a former love interest turning up and stirring up trouble.

At first the young actress had paid no heed to his assertions that he had moved on and was no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with her. She had tried several different tactics to get him to change his mind; but despite her best efforts Jack's heart had remained true to Elizabeth. Eventually Rosemary had gotten the message; of course the arrival of one Leland Coulter seemed to have helped sooth her wounded feelings a bit.

Abigail watched as Lee slipped an arm around Rosemary and pulled her closer to his side, a broad smile on his face. The blond woman smiled warmly at him before returning her attention to Elizabeth, who she was talking to in a very animated fashion about wedding plans. Elizabeth was actually giving her a genuine smile, not the fake one she used to adopt for Rosemary's benefit but one Abigail was accustom to seeing. She was happy for both couples, Jack and Elizabeth especially. She was so happy that they had finally worked out their problems and gotten engaged; if any two people should be together it was them. They reminded her so much of herself and Noah.

A sharp pain pierced her heart as she thought about her late husband. They had been so happy. They had been so young when they had gotten married; just eighteen. Then they had waited for several years before their son was born. For a while Abigail had worried that she wouldn't be able to have children, and then Peter had come along. She had been so thrilled with her baby boy. Now both Noah and Peter were gone. Would she ever find happiness and love like that again? So far she hadn't had much success. First Bill Avery had turned out to be a lying cad and then...Abigail's eyes strayed from the two laughing couples she'd been watching and quickly found Frank Hogan standing off to the side talking with Dewitt Graves.

It had been a couple of days since Frank had dropped the bombshell that he had at one time been an outlaw. Abigail would never have even suspected such a thing; especially not of a minister. She had always thought of a minister as a man who was above reproach; an upright man who would never ignore the teachings of the Bible or fail to uphold them. She now scolded herself for such an idea. After all weren't ministers still imperfect men just like everyone else? And besides Frank hadn't been a minister when he had done whatever it was that had resulted in him getting shot. On top of that he had obviously repented of whatever it was and turned his life around.

"People are rarely as good or bad as we think they are. They're usually a combination of both."

"Even when it comes to pastors?"

"Especially when it comes to pastors."

Abigail suddenly felt ashamed of herself. Ever since Frank had told her that little bit about his background she had to admit she had been avoiding him; mind you he had also been avoiding her. He hadn't even come in to the café for breakfast the past two mornings. At first she had been relieved since she hadn't been ready to face him; but now she had to admit she missed him. She had gotten quite comfortable having him around; especially the past few days when he had been helping her complete all the repairs that Henry Gowen had insisted upon. She had also enjoyed their fishing trip and the good-natured way he had accepted her challenge. And the fish dinner he had made for her afterwards had been wonderful.

And then she had ruined their evening - and possibly their easy-going friendship - by being too nosey about his past. Why had she insisted on asking him questions he clearly didn't want to answer? Why was she so curious about his past? Why couldn't she have left well enough alone? After all the past wasn't always what was important; it was what a person was here and now.

The truth was what had happened with Bill was a big reason why Abigail was so concerned about Frank's past. She had already come close to giving her heart to a man who wasn't free to accept it; she didn't want to make the same mistake twice. Not that there was necessarily a chance of that with Frank, after all the two of them were just friends, but she didn't want to take the risk of becoming dependent on someone who wouldn't hold up their end. The question was, was she able to overlook whatever it was that Frank had done in the past? Would she be able to trust him again once she knew the full story of what he had done?

"But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ."*

"Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;"#

Abigail cringed as the familiar Scriptures came back to mind. After Frank's revelation the other night she had been doing more praying and Bible reading than usual trying to decide what to do. She had quickly been reminded that she didn't have any right to judge another person and that if God could forgive a person for their mistakes than who was she to not do the same?

Noticing that Dewitt had moved away from Frank to lead Mary onto the dance floor, Abigail soon resolved that it was time to set things right. Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders she put a smile on her face and approached Frank.

"Good evening," she greeted him warmly. She noted the surprise in his eyes when she spoke to him. She also thought she detected a bit of sadness.

"Good evening, Abigail," he greeted her just as warmly as ever, though there was a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. "It's nice to see you on this happy occasion."

"You too," she echoed.

An awkward silence followed as they both seemed to struggle for something to say. A wave of sadness hit Abigail; what had happened to their easy comradery?

Deciding that she was going to have to be the one to make the first move she looked at Frank and asked determinedly, "Would you take a walk outside with me?"

Once again surprise filled Frank's face but he quickly nodded his assent and followed her as she led the way out of the noisy saloon.

"Ah," Frank sighed slightly in relief when they reached the dirt street outside. "That's better. I can actually hear myself think again."

Abigail smiled at him. "It's nice to see everyone so happy for Jack and Elizabeth. They deserve it."

"They do," Frank agreed. "They make a very fine looking couple."

"They do. They've had a bit of a difficult road to get to this point but hopefully things will go much smoother for them now. I think they've recently learned a very important lesson."

"And what lesson is that?" Frank asked curiously as they started strolling away from the saloon.

Abigail looked at him as she replied, "How important communication is in a relationship."

Frank held her gaze as they both stopped walking and turned to face each other. "Communication is key in any relationship."

"I agree," Abigail told him solemnly. "Which is why I think it's time that you and I talk, I mean really talk."

"You mean 'really talk' as in you want me to really talk about my past?" Frank said, watching her carefully.

Abigail nodded. "I want you to be completely open and honest with me about your past; don't hold anything back." She noticed a variety of emotions playing over his face at her request. "And in exchange for your trust in me I promise not to tell a soul about what you've told me or to judge you on what you did in the past. What matters most to me is the man you are now; however I feel as if I can't really know that man unless I also know the man you used to be."

Frank considered her words for several long moments all the while studying her face before he finally said, "Okay, fair enough. But let's go somewhere more private to talk. I don't want to risk anyone overhearing our conversation."

"Why don't we go over to the café?" Abigail suggested. "I could make us a cup of tea and I believe I still have some apple pie left over from today."

A smile broke over Frank's face. "I can never resist your apple pie."

The couple walked over to the café and after Abigail made tea and served the pie they sat down in her parlour to talk.

"Where would you like me to start?" Frank asked after taking a bite of his pie.

"Why don't you start at the beginning," Abigail suggested, taking a sip of her tea.

"Okay," Frank nodded. He paused for a few moments before saying, "My grandparents and great-grandparents on my mother's side were immigrants from Scotland. They came to what was than called 'Upper Canada' in the early 1800s. My father's side came from England directly to America. My mother's parents moved to Boston a few years after they got married; my mother was born there. She and my father met there and then after they got married decided that they wanted to move west; my father's parents came too. They all ended up settling in what is now known as the state of Wyoming. That's where my two brothers and I were born."

"So, you're American?" Abigail said in surprise.

Frank nodded and proceeded to tell her a bit about growing up in near the Rocky Mountains.

"Is your family still in Wyoming?"

He hesitated for a moment before replying, "In a manner of speaking they are." When she gave him a curious look he explained, "My parents and both of my brothers were killed in an Indian raid when I was twelve; our house was then burned to the ground."

Horror filled Abigail as she listened to Frank's story. "How did you survive?"

Guilt filled his eyes. "I wasn't home that day. I had gone over to my grandparents' place because their cow was about to have a calf and my grandfather had told me I could have it to raise when it was born. Their homestead was only a ten minute ride from my parents'. While my parents and brothers were going through one of the worst horrors that anyone could go through I was safe in a barn watching a calf being born."

Tears filled Abigail's eyes and her heart broke for the twelve year old boy he once was. "What happened to you after that?"

"I went to live with my grandparents until I was seventeen," he replied going on to tell her a bit about what those years had been like. It was obvious that Frank had been very close to his grandparents, especially his grandfather. "Then after they had both passed away I was on my own. I knocked about for several years, doing odd jobs whenever I could find them; sleeping under the stars a lot of nights. I met up with all kinds of people along the way; some good people, others not so good. I also picked up a lot of skills along the way."

"Like how to handle a hammer," Abigail interjected.

"Actually skills like that I learned from my father and grandfather," he replied. Then looking uncomfortable he added, "I was talking about other types of skills like playing cards, darts and billiards."

"And how to cheat at all three?" she asked intuitively.

"No, more like how to hustle people into thinking I wasn't as good as I actually am so I could sucker them out of their money by placing bets on the outcome of a game."

"So you were a hustler?"

"I was a con man," he told her plainly.

"And you got shot when…?"

"That actually happened a few years later. I had taken up with a rough bunch known as the Garrison gang. I was a powder man and helped them rob banks and trains. I was shot during a robbery."

"What happened to the others?" Abigail asked, her heart racing slightly at this unexpected turn in his story.

"They took off and left me to take the fall," Frank replied. "I told the officers everything I knew but they were never able to catch them."

Abigail's eyes widened in alarm. "Are they still at large now?"

"The last I heard," Frank nodded. "Though I have no idea where they are. I haven't seen or heard from them since that night."

"I see," Abigail said as she took a sip of her tea; it was cold causing her to pull a face.

Frank, obviously having misinterpreted the reason for her expression, said apologetically, "I'm sorry, Abigail. I know you're disappointed in me…"

"No, Frank, it's not you," she quickly assured him as she set aside her tea. "It's the tea that I'm disappointed in." At his confused look she added, "I was listening to you so intently I hadn't realized it had gone cold. I hate cold tea."

She watched as a slow smile tugged at his lips. "Well, may I offer to make you a fresh cup then?"

Abigail gave him a warm smile. "I'd appreciate that. Thank you."

He rose to his feet and took her cup. "My pleasure." As Frank headed towards the kitchen to put the kettle on Abigail watched him, mulling over everything that he had told her.

So he had been a con man and a thief. While it wasn't an acceptable 'occupation' at least it wasn't as bad as she had feared; he hadn't been a gunslinger or a murderer. At least she didn't think he'd killed anybody; but she really couldn't be sure. Perhaps he'd had to defend himself against others who had caught him in the act of robbing a bank or training. Or even someone he had conned who had tried to get back at him for stealing their hard-earned money.

Her mind then shifted to what he'd said about his family. What a tragic thing to have happen; losing your parents and brothers in such a horrific way at such a tender age. Then within a few years he had lost his grandparents; especially a grandfather he seemed to be particularly close to. He had been all alone in the world at seventeen. She felt deep sympathy well up in her heart for him.

Abigail silently studied him as he waited for the kettle to boil. He was standing at the stove with his back to her, his arms folded in front of his chest and his head bowed slightly. She took in the line of his shoulders and noticed that they seemed a bit slouched as if the weight of the world was pressing down on them. Was he worried about her reaction to what he had told her? How did she feel about what he'd told her? Was she willing to overlook it; to accept it as a part of his past and accept that he had changed? Or should she simply walk away and save herself some possible heartache in the future?

She quickly dismissed her last thought; after all ever since he had arrived in Hope Valley he had been nothing but helpful to her. He had proven himself to be a true friend; and a good man. After all, how many times over the past few months had she turned to him for advice or just a listening ear? And he had always been willing to be there for her to listen or to help, whichever she needed, whenever she needed him.

"Did you ever kill anyone?" The question was out of her mouth before she could stop it.

Without turning around he replied, "No."

Relief flooded over Abigail. So he had been a thief but he had never killed anyone. And now he had given up that lifestyle and had turned his life around. He was now an upstanding, respectable minister who instead of taking from people put himself out to help others. It was as if he was trying to make up for the things he had done. He had said that he had promised God that if he spared his life he would spend the rest of it doing God's good work. He had obviously taken that promise to heart.

She continued to study Frank silently for several moments. His dejected posture seemed to indicate that he was genuinely worried about how she would react to his history. He appeared to be bracing himself for her rejection.

"Can I ask you another question?" she asked him gently.

"Yes." Once again he didn't move.

She hesitated for a moment before asking, "What's your real name?"

This time he looked back at her over his shoulder for a moment before replying, "I was born Matt Landry, but after I got out of prison I had my name legally changed to Frank Hogan."

Abigail rose to her feet and slowly approached him. When she came up beside him she extended her hand to him. Once again he hesitated before turning towards her and accepting her hand. She gave him a warm smile and said,

"I am very pleased to meet you Frank Hogan. My name is Abigail Stanton. I understand you're from Wyoming."

She paused and waited until he said cautiously, "Yes, I am."

"Welcome to Hope Valley," she continued. "You'll find our town very friendly and the perfect place for second chances. You'll also find the fishing here to be excellent. In fact I know this really great spot with just the right currents, maybe I can show it to you some time."

A slow smile spread across his face as he said, still holding on to her hand. "I'd like that very much, Mrs. Stanton."

"My friend's call me Abigail," she told him with a grin.

"It's very nice to meet you, Abigail. You know, fishing is actually one of my favourite hobbies."

Her smile broadened. "Well, then perhaps we can go tomorrow afternoon."

"I'm free," he assured her.

"And after that I have a good friend who has this amazing fish recipe that belonged to his grandfather; perhaps I can convince him to make it for us for supper."

"'A good friend'?" Frank repeated, a hopeful look on his face.

Abigail nodded. "A very good friend. He's a good man and someone I have come to rely on quite a bit these past few months. I'm hoping to be able to get to know him better."

Giving her hand a gentle squeeze he said, "In that case, he would be more than happy to make supper for you tomorrow night." Then with a mischievous grin he added, "Provided you catch more fish than he does."

Abigail laughed heartily, her heart feeling light for the first time in days. "Oh, that won't be a problem at all."

*Romans 14:10 King James Version

#Acts 3:19 King James Version

Chapter 13: I Will Love You 'Till I Die

Jack walks Elizabeth home from their impromptu Engagement party.