You're all on another level on awesome, honestly.
Sometimes I can't believe you're all reading my story.
Hope this explains why the last chapter happened when it did,Too lazy to sign up.
Bo did not know where she was headed until she stopped her car across Lauren's house.
She had been furious and relieved and more than a little drunk when she'd left her house and she'd just gotten into her car and drove.
She hadn't planned on coming to Lauren's but now that she was her, she realized that she wanted to be here.
Tonight was a night of saying what exactly she should have said for so long.
Tonight was a night to finally deal with the past and what she and Lauren had done earlier had barely scratched the surface.
There was so much more that needed to be said between them, so much more that Laure deserved to hear.
She took in a huge breath and prepared herself, she could do this.
She had to do this.
….
The door was opened on her third knock by a more than exhausted looking Lauren Lewis who looked more than a little surprised to see the brunette on her door step.
Bo's heart broke on the sight of her.
God, she had messed things up so bad.
"Bo? What are you doing here?"
Her voice sounded even more exhausted than she looked.
Bo steeled her nerves, she had gotten this far, no use turning back now.
"I- I need to talk to you."
"We already talked Bo. There's nothing more to say."
"Yes there is Lauren," so much more, "please, I just need ten minutes."
""Bo.."
"Five then," the brunette insisted.
Lauren sighed. Her brown eyes made it clear that she had taken more than she was willing to take for the night. Still, she wordlessly moved aside and let the brunette in.
Bo breathed out her thanks.
…
The nostalgia that hit Bo immediately she walked into the Lewis household was sort of overwhelming.
She had spent a great part of her childhood in this house.
She had made some of her happiest memories in this house.
She had had her first kiss here.
She had fallen in love here.
"Take it back"
The brunette said as she tickled the blond girl under her.
Lauren, her brown eyes shining with laughter and tears shook her head stubbornly.
"I won't stop till you do."
Bo warned.
Neither of them knew exactly how this tickle fest had begun.
It had something to do with Lauren insisting that they couldn't spend all their time kissing and Bo saying that yes, they could because honestly, what in the world could be better than she and Lauren, on Lauren's bed, kissing the afternoon away?
The blond seemed to think that books, books were better than kissing the afternoon away.
How Bo refuting that fact had translated into a tickle fest, neither of them knew.
"Fine, I take it back." Lauren finally laughed out.
Bo looked down at her. She loved this girl. No matter what her mom said, and the woman said a lot of things, Bo Dennis knew that she was completely in love with this Lauren Lewis.
She had known that day, two years ago, when they'd kissed, she knew now and somewhere in her mind, she knew she'd know forever.
"What?"
The blond asked, her voice still had traces of laughter in it.
Bo smiled softly and pushed messy blond hair behind Lauren's ears, "I love you." She said simply.
Lauren smiled at her adoringly.
It wasn't the first time those words had been uttered between them but they still held some sort of wonder anytime they came out.
Maybe it was because sometimes, with Bo's mother and Bo's boyfriend and the fact that sharing Bo wasn't and keeping their relationship a secret wasn't as easy as either of them had thought it would be when they'd decided to give this relationship a try at fifteen.
Maybe it was because they fought a lot over things that two teenagers weren't even supposed to deal with let alone fight over.
Probably though, it was because the words were so true. It didn't matter that Bo had a boyfriend who she sometimes kissed, a fact that broke Lauren's heart and seemed to break Bo's too.
It didn't matter that sometimes Lauren felt it was justified for her to be angry at the whole situation so much that sometimes she avoided Bo for days only for Bo to turn up at her door.
Confused and hurt and more desperate that it was healthy for one human being to be for another.
None of it mattered because at the end of the day, they were in love.
Utterly and completely and because of that, Lauren had once told Bo, she believed they could fight a whole lot of things.
They were Bo and Lauren, Lauren and Bo. Perfect and meant to be.
Bo's phone went off, breaking them away from their little world.
"Hello?.. Oh hey…today? No no, I didn't forget. Yeah, I'll be right there….Ditto."
She seemed guilty when she disconnected the call.
Lauren's whole demeanor changed.
"Was that him?"
"Yeah," Bo said like that was the last word she wanted to be saying at that moment.
Lauren nodded.
"Please get off of me."
"Lauren-"
"Please Bo."The brunette moved from her straddling position on the blond.
God she hated Dyson.
Most of their fights were always about him.
And somehow he always found a way to ruin their special moments.
Like every Valentine's Day when Bo spent with Lauren but couldn't enjoy completely because they both knew that later she'll be spending it with him too.
Like after the first time they'd made love and instead of basking in the afterglow, Lauren had made Bo promise that it would never ever happen between she and him.
Bo had promised. They'd decided that she'll tell him she was a virgin and was waiting to give her virginity away on her wedding night.
They had laughed a little at their genius, but they both knew the mood had shifted.
Like it had shifted now.
"I'm sorry."
She didn't know what else to say.
Lauren just nodded.
Bo was turning seventeen in a few weeks. Then they'd only have to wait for a year and they'd get to leave this stupid town with its narrow minded people.
They'd go to the big city and be free and happy and in love.
She could wait a year.
…
"You said five minutes, Bo."
The blond said pulling Bo back to the present.
"Right," Bo nodded and wrung her hands, she desperately wanted to reach over and take Lauren's hand.
It always calmed her to touch the blond when she was nervous.
But she knew she couldn't.
She had lost that privilege a year ago when she had been stupid and a coward.
…
It was Bo's birthday and she had spent the night before, as was tradition, at Lauren's.
She woke up alone in Lauren's bed and frowned as she went in search of the blond.
Lauren was always there so that she was the first thing Bo saw on her birthday mornings.
It was odd to wake up alone.
Her search ended in the Lewis kitchen where she found Lauren and her father putting finishing touches on her birthday cake.
The brunette's smile was brilliant as watched the blond demand that her father hurry up before Bo woke up.
The brunette contemplate turning back and heading to back to the room, Lauren clearly wanted to surprise her and Bo hated disappointing the blond.
She did that enough as it was.
But before she could turn back Mr. Lewis spotted her and smiled broadly, his brown eyes so much like his daughter's.
"There's the birthday girl."
He said smiling widely at her and opening his arms up for a hug.
Bo walked to him and hugged him.
She hadn't seen him in a while; he was almost never around, travelling around the world doing helping people who couldn't afford to find the help themselves.
"Happy birthday sweetheart," he had watched the brunette grow up, she was like a daughter to him, "I'm glad I got to see you before I left."
"Where to this time?" Bo asked pulling away.
"Namibia," it was Lauren who answered.
Bo turned to her girlfriend, he smile supernova,"hey."
And suddenly it was like there was o one else in the entire world but the two of them.
"Hey surprise ruiner."
"Sorry." The brunette sounded adorably apologetic.
Lauren shrugged the apology of and hugged her, "happy seventeenth."
"Thank you," they pulled away, Bo resisting the insane urge to kiss her girlfriend. "And thanks for the cake."
"I helped bake it," Mr. Lewis made his presence known, a knowing smile on his face.
Bo and Lauren blushed for some reason, it really was a wonder, given their tendency to get lost in each other, that they'd managed to keep their relationship a secret for so long.
As they ate the cake, Lauren and Bo stealing glances at each other and Mr. Lewis pretending he wasn't seeing what they were trying really badly to hide, all that was running through Bo's mind was one year.
One year and she'd be free to love Lauren Lewis the way she deserved to be loved.
One year.
…
One year, that's how long had passed since she had let things go to utter shit.
…
Bo entered her house smiling.
People were running around, making final touches to her birthday party.
Her mother was somewhere passing orders and her father was talking to Dyson's father, looking all important.
But all that didn't register in her head.
She had just had amazing sex with her girlfriend.
'Early birthday present' Lauren had called it, and had promise more tonight when Bo headed over to the blonds' place.
She was on cloud nine.
"Ysabeu," her mother appeared in front of her, "you're late."
Bo let the smile slip from her face.
She had never mastered how exactly she was supposed to look at her mother these days.
So most o the time she avoided eye contact.
"I'm here now."
"Well hurry up and get ready. The guests will be arriving soon and I will not have you embarrass me."
The brunette rolled her eyes and walked to her room.
…
The party was probably good.
Bo couldn't tell you.
She smiled when necessary, mingled in a way that she knew made her mother entirely proud, but none of it registered in her mind.
'more to come later' Lauren had said.
God she loved that girl. And when later came, she was going to show her just how much.
…
Later couldn't come fast enough.
No, really.
Between her mother insisting on introducing her to everyone and Dyson acting like they were some sort of married couple, it seemed like this party will never end.
"You wanna go somewhere with me after this?"
He asked in a husky voice.
Bo scowled, completely disgusted.
"I told you, Dyson. I'm saving-"
"Yeah yeah." He sighed, "I don't think can do this with you anymore, Bo."
It was a good thing most people had left and he and the two of them were practically alone on the table they'd occupied.
Bo didn't think that shock was very attractive on her.
"What do you mean?"
Dyson, for all his annoyingness, had a purpose, he kept Aife from Bo and Bo needed that.
As long as she was with him, her mother did not follow her every move.
Losing him would make things very difficult for her.
Not to mention the fact that Aife had threatened more than once that if she did not put effort into making it work with him she was going to tell her father and that wouldn't down well.
The man had already started making plans on the numerous businesses that he'd get into with the Thornwoods.
And if there's one thing Bo knew her father did not appreciate, it was someone disrupting his plans.
"So, you're saying if I don't sleep with you, you'll break up with me?"
He shrugged.
She felt sick to her stomach.
She needed air.
…
Air, was what her mother found her trying to take in.
She had excused herself from Dyson and found a quiet place to calm herself and talk to Lauren.
She didn't know what she was going to say to her.
She just needed to remind herself that there was a reason she was going through all this.
A bloody good reason.
"Ysabeu," her mother called, startling her, "what are you doing out here?Dyson is looking for you."
This was the very last thing she needed.
"I need some alone time mother."
Aife pursed her lips.
"Are you fighting with your boyfriend?"
"That's none of our business."
"Everything about you is my business Ysabeu. Especially if you insist on ruining not only your future but something that will benefit our family greatly."
Bo scoffed.
Nothing her mother said surprised her nowadays.
"And you might think you're so grown up now. But I swear to God if you ruin this your father and I will cut you off."
"You wouldn't. Daddy-"
"Listens to me. Ruin this Ysabeu and you'll find out there isn't that many things in the world that I wouldn't and can't do."
…
Lauren was worried and a little hurt.
She had been extremely excited for her night with her girlfriend and it really pained her that Bo hadn't turned up.
She tried being understanding, Bo's mother, she knew, was sort of a bitch.
She comforted herself that at least they had spent the morning together.
Still though, she felt a tad bit hurt.
Their situation absolutely sucked.
A knock on the door drew her from her pity party and she smiled in spite of herself.
Bo was here.
Her smile fell immediately she saw the brunette.
She just knew, she didn't even have to ask, he guilty eyes and the trembling lips and the way her whole body seemed to be apologizing let Lauren know that it had happened.
Her worst nightmare had come true
She took a step back, "you didn't."
"Baby, I'm so sorry. My mom threatened me and I didn't' know what o do and he was threatening o break up with me and- I'm so fucking sorry."
They were both in the house now.
Lauren ran her fingers through her hair, "You promised."
"I know- I" Bo took a step forward, "It'll never happen again I-"
"Yes it will Bo! He's your boyfriend and the excuse you've been giving him is now useless. We both know it will happen again."
"Lauren-"
"You have to break up with him. I can take it this once, it'll be hard but we- we can work through it. Love you and we can deal with this. But you have to break up with him Bo. You have to.""I-I can't." the brunette said, her mother's words ringing in her ears, "I can't."
"Of course you can! I've never asked anything of you Bo. I've always, always understood that things are hard for you I am willing to put up with a lot, I have already put up with so much. But this, this will kill me. Just knowing that he kisses you is too much for me to handle and I'm actually surprised I haven't hurled considering how sick I feel that he touch you like that. He touched you the way only I'm supposed to touch you and it's killing me. I can't- you can't ask me to put up with it for a year Bo. You just can't."
"Lauren," she knew she should say more, she just didn't know what to say.
Everything was just so so fucked up.
"Please Bo. I need-"she wiped tears away, "I need you to do this for me. You can even find another guy o distract your mom. Someone who'll believe the excuse we came up with. Please."
"I can't." The brunette felt her heart break as she said this.
How could she make Lauren understand her parent's obsession with having her with Dyson when even she didn't understand it?
"I'll do everything to make sure he doesn't touch me Lauren. I pro-"
"Don't." The blond suddenly sounded cold and Bo panicked.
"It's only a year Lauren, we can-"
"No we can't and, I need you to leave."
"You-"
"Now Bo. Leave now, Please."
…
"Bo, if you're not going to say what brought you here then.."
"I'm sorry, Lauren. For everything."
"You already said that."
Bo nodded."I know, but it needs to be said again and again. I hurt you so bad and," God, this was so hard.
Just thinking of Lauren with Tamsin drove Bo out of her mind, she didn't even know how Lauren handled knowing she was with someone else.
She couldn't even justify in her mind anymore how she had expected Lauren to keep putting up with it.
"If you came to repeat what you already said then I think you should just leave Bo."
"I understand that you're angry at me, you have every right to be. I was stupid and scared and a coward and I made so many wrong decisions that ended up hurting you."
"Are you telling me you're not any of those things anymore?" The blond challenged.
Bo shook her head, "No, I'm still scared, I won't lie and say I'm not. But more than anything I'm ready, Lauren. I'm ready to be anything and everything you need me to be. All I need is for you to need me."
"I ," Lauren let out a humorless laugh, "I don't even know what you expect me to say.
"You don't have to say a thing just" she balled her hands to stop herself from wiping away Lauren's tears, "think about it. For as long as you need to."
Lauren furiously wiped away tears and more took their place.
It became too hard for Bo to stop herself and she took a step to the blond who took a step back, "don't. I- I think you should leave." She moved to open the door.
The brunette sighed and rubbed her temples, this night was not going the way she wanted it to.
Her eyes snapped up when she heard her name being called by a voice she honestly did not want to hear.
Tamsin.
Fuck.
…
Fuck!
Honestly, someone somewhere was playing a really huge joke with Tamsin's life and it wasn't appreciated.
Seriously, could this night get any fucking worse?
"Tamsin, what are you doing here?" Lauren wiped stubborn tears away.
"Uh," shock had sobered Tamsin up pretty darn fast.
She looked from the exhausted blond to the incredulous brunette and gulped.
God she needed some sort of escape.
Any sort of escape.
"Tamsin," Lauren prompted.
"I- Uh," fuck! "I think I should go."
Lauren frowned.
She knew Tamsin was here for something, it was ten at night.
You don't show up at someone's door at ten for nothing.
"Tamsin you,"
"No you know what, I'll go. I was leaving anyway." Bo who'd been quietly fuming said, venom in her voice.
Before she left she gave Lauren a longing look that managed to say so much more than Tamsin was able to interpret.
Then she gave Tamsin a disgusted look, one that said she couldn't believe she'd thought of the blond as her friend, "you're unfuckingbelievable," she spat out then stalked away.
If Tamsin wasn't sober before, she sure was sober now.
Her eye moved from the retreating brunette to the blond who seemed to have no fight left in her.
What was she doing here?
Really, what?
"Ta-"
"I can't do this."
That seemed to be her line.
Lauren's tired eyes suddenly seemed angry.
"You can't do this? I have had a day from hell and a night from somewhere beyond that and you turn up at my door, drunk, to tell me you can't do this? Do what, what is it that you can't do Tamsin?"
"I just-"
"No Tamsin, you owe me that much for the stupid mind games you've put me through. You owe me!"
"Love you okay! She yelled then took a deep breath and sighed, "I can't love you."
There, she'd said it, it was out in the universe.