Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit

"Something wrong Ames?"

I was currently sat at the Gryffindor table in the great hall. It was dinner time, and even though I'd been extremely hungry earlier, funnily enough I'd lost my appetite.

Albus was the one who had spoken. I looked up from my plate, hardly touched, to see a look of concern on his face.

"Something wrong? Nope, nada, zilch. I'm fine, swell, just dandy. How are you?" Wow. 'Cause you didn't sound like an idiot.

"I'm alright." Al gave me a look usually reserved for a remark made by Holly, before looking away and leaving me to stare at my plate again.

Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit

"You look like you've seen a ghost."

I jumped. Jack slid into the seat next to me, bringing along his band of mates as well. I really didn't need this right now. Potter was looking anywhere but me. Can't really blame him, to be honest.

"She probably looks pale because she's been throwing up all morning." Shut up Holly. Shut up right now.

Jack glanced towards me again before he whispered to me "What's wrong? You sick?"

The situation kept getting worse. I was sitting next to my brother who's best friend, sitting across from us, had slept with me while we were drunk a couple of weeks ago. Quite a few times in one night. This was not an ideal scenario.

"Just a bug. It's already passed."

He didn't look convinced, but turned to Weasley to start a conversation about the Quidditch League. This left me again, able to go off into my thoughts again. Well, single thought.

Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit

I stood up quickly, grabbing attention from all my friends, my brother and his mates. "I'm tired" I mumbled, before turning to Dom, Rose and Holly. "See you up there".

I barely looked where I was walking. How could I have been so stupid? I should have been able to control myself that night. Now I'm in a mess and a pretty big one. Before I knew it, I had reached the astronomy tower.

It was easy to think up here. The view of the Hogwarts grounds had always managed to calm me in the past. I just hoped it would work now.

I was an idiot. And I didn't know what to do.

It's your own fault a voice sounded in my head. You can't blame anyone else but yourself

Oh, hello there conscience. Where were you four weeks ago? I could have used your help. You know, something to let me know that having sex with Potter whilst under the influence, wasn't top of my to-do list.

"Amy?" I turned around to see Holly standing by the top of the stairs. I glanced at her, before turning back to the view. "Are you ok?"

I didn't reply straight away. I'd already lied to her lately, I didn't want to do it again.

"Not really."

"Want to talk about it?"

I was conflicted. She was my best friend. If there was anyone I could tell, it would be her. But at the same time, I didn't want her to judge me. She was the only person who wasn't related to me, wasn't related to Potter, or likely to spread it round the school. And that's what decided it for me.

"I might be pregnant."

Sitting in the stands watching the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice was not how I wanted to spend my Sunday. Rose had dragged me there to watch them because she was bored and wanted company. So me being the most selfless, amazing, intelligent, witty person I am, came without a fight.

"Stop moping. Just because I'm stronger than you."

Alright. So the fact I came without a fight was a lie. But the rest is still true. I was still thinking of my little problem. However, because I told Holly, it felt like it wasn't my problem anymore, and I pushed it to the back of my mind.

"I'm not moping. It's cold."

"I thought you liked Quidditch?"

"I like watching the matches. Watching practices, especially in October when its freezing, not so much."

Rose, although every inch the bookworm her mother was, always found time to watch every other practice, as well as subtly putting across her opinion of some of the plays that were tried out by the team.

"OI! JAMES! YOUR PLAYS ARE SHIT! TRY MAKING SURE EVERYONE CAN BLOODY STAY ON THEIR BROOMSTICKS!"

She huffed before standing up and making her way down to pitch, leaving me in the stand on my own. Lower down, I could see Veronica leaning over the edge of her box. Hmm. If I was still feeling sick, (which had bloody happened again this morning, luckily without waking up any of the others), I could try and aim for her head, like target practice. I grinned to myself.

"Ames?" I recognised Holly's voice, but didn't turn round. I knew what she would want to talk about.

"Ames you can't ignore the problem."

"I know I can't." Finally responding, I gestured towards the seat next to me, indicating her to sit down. She moved towards me and dropped into it.

"Does he know?"

"Who?"

"The Minister of Magic. I hear he's interested in teen drama. Potter! Who do you think?"

I glared at her. "You could have been talking about Jack. Or Aiden. or Albus. We know a lot of he's Holly."

I instantly felt bad about a two things. One, it wasn't her fault and I should stop taking it out on her. Two, I hadn't seen much of Aiden since the start of term and had no idea what he was up to, (mind you he had no idea what I was up to either.)

"Well? Does Potter know? Or Jack, now that you mention it."

I watched as Potter and Jack worked together to get the quaffle through the left hoop. After scoring, Jack slapped Potter in a brotherly celebration, before speeding down to pick up the quaffle while Potter looked at the other players to see how they were coping with his plays.

"No. Neither of them do. I'm not telling anyone 'til I've decided what to do."

"You mean if you're gunna keep it?"

"Abort it. Keep it. Put it up for adoption. One of them."

"I know I'm just the friend you confided in. And that I have no idea what it's like to be in your position. But don't you think that Potter should get a say?"

"I-I…" didn't think about that. Watching Dom make a dive to save the quaffle from being put through the hoops, I added "It'll ruin his life."

"You don't know that." Holly said sympathetically. "You should take a test."

I didn't want to. Not only did I not want to face the looks of the apothecary owner in Hogsmeade or tell Madam Pomfrey about my situation, I was scared to take the test. It made everything so real.

"You never know, you might just be stressed."

I snorted. Either way, the world hated me. One way, I'm pregnant and unable to finish my education, I'd survive by eating out of people's bins and begging in Diagon Alley. The other, the world gives me one hell of a scare, for the hell of it, It drives me crazy, and I end up in St Mungo's. Either way, my future isn't looking so bright.

Holly could clearly see the fear on my face.

"Tell Potter. I'll take care of getting the tests."