Chapter 12: When Morality and Reality Clash

"There's one technique you need to know before facing my father." said Zuko. The refreshing morning breeze tugged lightly at his robe and tousled his bushy black hair as he stood in front of his student in the courtyard.

"You're gonna teach me how to shoot lightning?!" Aang asked, beaming with enthusiasm.

"No." the firebender answered coolly.

Aang's joy dissolved. "Why not?"

"I can't teach you something I haven't mastered myself." Seeing that the monk was already opening his mouth in order to ask further questions, the firebender quickly continued. "I was going to show you how to redirect one."

The smile on Aang's face returned like a boomerang as Zuko started showing him the basic form. He extended his arms out, then brought two fingers to the wrist of his other hand. "If you let the energy in your own body flow, the lightning will follow it. You turn your opponent's energy against them." he instructed the airbender, his fingers drawing a pathway along his arm, then down to his stomach, and out into the air.

"That's like waterbending!" Aang joined him in practicing the form.

"Exactly. My uncle invented this technique himself by studying waterbenders." Zuko recalled the day Iroh had resumed his training, not far away from the ruins of Tu Zin village. The prince was content with the fact that he could pass on his knowledge to the Avatar, not so long ago his enemy, now a good friend.

He went on to explain the particular parts of the form in detail. In the meantime, Katara was watching them from the steps around the courtyard. Beside her, Momo was nuzzling against her palm, trying to gain her attention. She smiled and scratched him behind an ear.

Last night she'd had a hard time falling asleep. It wasn't only the due to the unimaginable truth she had learned about Zuko's scar. On finding Aang waiting in her bedroom she had to come up with a convincing explanation. She hated lying to him, but she assumed that the prince wouldn't want her to pass on the story to third persons. He trusted her. The times had passed when she would eagerly torment him out of spite.

So she told Aang that there had simply been a moment during her and Zuko's conversation when she reminisced about her mother. It was the justification of the tears on her face. She apologized once again for leaving him without an explanation. To her relief, the airbender hadn't insisted on her giving him further details. Sometimes concealing the truth was the best solution, no matter how inappropriate it may be considered. What was surprising, this morning he behaved so casually, as if nothing had happened the night before.

She couldn't help but notice how tense her relations with Aang had become after the night they'd talked about them. Biting her lip, Katara refocused her attention on watching how a waterbending technique was being practically used in a firebending form.

"So, have you ever redirected lightning before?" Aang asked his training partner after multiple repetitions.

"Once. Against my father."

On the steps, Katara stirred uncomfortably.

"What did it feel like?" Aang asked eagerly, apparently paying no heed to the meaning behind his sifu's words.

Zuko stopped practicing and exhaled slowly. "Exhilarating… but terrifying." Once again Aang's face dropped. "You feel so powerful holding that much energy in your body, but you know when you make the wrong move… it's over."

"Well, not over over. I mean there's always Katara and a little Spirit Water action, am I right?" Aang suggested hopefully, turning to Katara.

"Actually, I used it all up after Azula shot you." Katara answered bluntly.

"Oh." The last glimmer of hope died inside him.

Zuko frowned. "You'll have to take the Fire Lord's life before he takes yours."

Aang cast his eyes down on the firebender's boots. "Yeah… I'll just do that."

"That's all for today."

They bowed to each other and Aang left the courtyard. Katara rose from her seat and approached Zuko. "You shouldn't be so harsh with him," she said quietly. "He's trying to do his best. We all know that he's carrying the heaviest burden. We should be helping him and not bringing him down."

To her astonishment Zuko didn't raise his voice to deny her words. Instead, he sighed. "You're right. But as his firebending teacher I can't compliment him all the time or tell how much I feel sorry for him. He's the Avatar and his destiny is to do whatever it takes to bring peace to the world. Even if it involves ending the life of a tyrant."

"I know." Katara acknowledged reluctantly. She had already resigned herself with the fact that it was the best way to restore balance to the world, but it hurt to see how troubled the airbender was because of that.

She had no time to give another reply, as suddenly Sokka came leaping to the courtyard. "Hey, Zuko, fancy a little swordfight? We both could use some training again before saving the world, don't you think?"

Zuko sent Katara a short apologizing look before turning back to her brother. "I'll go get my swords."

Meanwhile Aang was shuffling along the path heading towards the beach. Even though he was an extrovert and always liked company, now he felt like he needed a moment of solitude. He was unlucky enough to stumble upon Toph who was coming back from the beach.

"Hey there, Twinkletoes. Looking a bit down in the mouth today, aren't you?"

"Hi Toph. Nice to see you, too."

The earthbender heard no hint of malice in his voice, only weariness. "Tell me now; why do I have the feeling that my yesterday's lecture was given completely in vain?" she asked him, putting hands on her hips.

Aang sighed heavily. "It's not about Katara. I've got a much more serious problem right now."

"You've got to kick the Fire Lord's ass, I know. But pondering over it will—"

"I know, Toph, it will mentally destroy me, but what can I do? I can't simply tell those thoughts to leave my head." He pressed nervous fingers to his temples. "Especially now that I see in what way I should defeat him."

Toph hated being interrupted in mid-flow, but she was perfectly aware of what the problem was. "Zuko insists that you should kill him, doesn't he?"

Aang hung his head.

In the Western Air Temple he'd been convinced that he didn't have to worry about fighting the Fire Lord before the arrival of Sozin's Comet. The uncomfortable truth had been revealed here, on Ember Island.

After the spoiled beach party he'd been convinced that he didn't have to worry about how he would fight the Fire Lord. The truth had occurred to him yesterday.

Were there any more dreadful facts he still didn't know about? How was he supposed to make an attempt on the life of a human being? It was revolting. The very thought of it filled him with disgust. The monks used to teach him that all life was sacred. All life, with no exceptions. Ending one was deemed the most immoral act. It sucked out all sensitivity of the killer's soul, it consumed his heart and left him withered and rotten inside.

"I don't know what to do, Toph."

The earthbender folded her arms. "Alright then, I guess it's therapy time again."

Aang's eyes widened in slight dread. Toph was notorious for her unconventional methods and so far they hadn't been very effective.

"What do you—"

"I want to say that what you need is relaxation. Something that will help you forget about all your worries and clear your mind. And no, I don't mean meditation or acupuncture. My suggestion is… an earthbending training." she grinned mischievously.

Aang only grimaced and slapped his forehead. "Toph, this really isn't the best time for it."

"Okay then, maybe you prefer a lame trip to the town? Or helping Katara prepare food?"

Going to the town would only deteriorate the situation. If they would bump into that Cai kid again… Aang didn't even want to think of it. He even considered the second option, but then he realized that he would be more of a nuisance than help in the kitchen.

He knew that Toph wouldn't let go if he didn't pick any of her suggestions and after all he was glad that she wanted to help him. Everyone else only demanded of him doing his duty as the Avatar. With Toph he could unwind and have some fun. "Alright, earthbending it is."

Toph clapped her hands. "I knew you would agree." She grabbed him by the hand and dragged along the path, heading towards her favorite training spot near the cliffs.

Late in the afternoon the Gaang met on top of a rocky hill. They had arranged one last training before leaving their safe shelter on Ember Island tomorrow. Sokka had sketched the battle plan and wanted to seize the last opportunity to see how it worked in practice. He chose this place deliberately to provide the most realistic surroundings and conditions. It was ideal for creating sophisticated obstacles, for which he already had a plan, too.

"Gather round, Team Avatar." Sokka beckoned everyone to come near. He put a carved melon on a draped mannequin in front of them. "In order to take out the Fire Lord - or in this case, the Melon Lord - our timing has to be perfect." He knelt down on the ground and drew lines heading towards the Melon Lord symbol. "First, Suki and I will draw his fire. Then, Katara and Zuko charge in with some liquidy-hot offense, and while the Melon Lord is distracted, Aang swoops in... and bam! He delivers the final blow." With the last stroke of the stick he crossed through the symbol.

"Uh… what about me?" Toph asked.

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you. For now, you're the Melon Lord's forces."

"So I get to chuck flaming rocks at all of you?"

"Whatever makes the training feel more realistic."

She grinned mischievously. "Sweetness."

Everyone took their positions at the foot of the hill while Toph stayed in front of the Melon Lord. Trying to do her job as well as she could she laughed maniacally, mimicking an evil villain. Sokka and Suki were the first ones to attack. As soon as Sokka gave the signal, they charged up the hill. Their path was quickly blocked by three stone figures which rose up from the ground and lunged towards them, tall and solid. In the blink of an eye they were defeated with Sokka's sword and Suki's agility in a flawless performance of skills and teamwork.

In the meantime, Katara and Zuko were busy avoiding flaming boulders which Toph was flinging at them. Once they successfully made it halfway up the hill, they encountered another obstacle. Stone Fire Nation soldiers cordoned them off from each side, trapping them in a circle. It wasn't long before all the figures were swiftly turned into debris with fire and water. Both benders found working together really enjoyable, mainly because it was so effective. They seemed to understand each other's thoughts and predict all intentions. Once the path was cleared they darted towards Toph, side by side.

With the Melon Lord successfully distracted, Sokka decided it was the highest time for the final blow. "Now, Aang!" he yelled, dodging another boulder flung in his direction.

Hearing the signal, Aang leapt from the top of a rock, clutching the staff in both hands above his head, ready to strike the Melon Lord. He had no choice, he had to do it. Everyone counted on him, he couldn't balk now. But as his eyes focused on the crooked evil grin carved on the melon, he already knew.

As his feet touched the ground in front of the mannequin, Aang stopped his glider in mid-air, leaving it inching from the Melon Lord's head. Eventually he lowered his head and backed away.

"What are you waiting for?! Take him out!" Zuko shouted, peering at him from behind a rock.

"I can't." Aang said in resigned voice.

Sokka walked up to him and poked him with his finger angrily. "What's wrong with you? If this was the real deal, you'd be shot full of lightning right now! And what were you going to do with that staff, anyway? Slam the Fire Lord on the skull?"

"I'm sorry, but it just didn't feel right. I didn't feel like myself." Aang explained.

Sokka drew his sword and swung it at the mannequin. Knowing what was about to happen, Aang squeezed his eyes shut. He winced as a sickening squishing sound reached his ears. When he opened his eyes again, the melon was lying on the ground, sliced in half.

"There, that's how it's done." Sokka said firmly.

Aang didn't answer and kept his gaze glued to the rocks underneath his feet. After a while he shuffled away from Sokka, passing by the rest of the team.

The last rays of the setting sun had already disappeared from tops of the tallest trees. In the courtyard Team Avatar was finishing their supper. They had just finished packing in order to be all ready for departure early in the morning. What little bags they had were waiting beside Appa's saddle.

The atmosphere within the group was rather dismal. Katara could sense it the moment she entered the courtyard, holding a large scroll in her hand.

"You're not gonna believe what I've found in one of the bedrooms upstairs," she announced grimly, unrolling the paper. "It's a picture of… baby Fire Lord." She flipped the paper to let them see the painting.

Sokka and Suki eyed the picture suspiciously while Zuko turned his head away, grimacing. Aang, who was busy nibbling at his supper, showed no interest in the find.

"Are you sure it's him?" Sokka asked in disbelief, squinting at the paper.

"Yes, there's a title here in the corner."

"It's hard to believe that it's really him," said Suki. "He looks so sweet and innocent."

"Well that sweet innocent kid grew up to be a monster," Zuko cut in gruffly. "And the worst father in the history of fathers."

"But he's still a human being." Aang cut in.

"I wouldn't call him that." Katara denied. "A human being isn't so callous and ruthless and doesn't want to bring utter destruction to the world." A human being doesn't burn his own son's face.

"Are you going to defend him?" Zuko asked in astonishment, turning to Aang.

"No, I agree with you." He stood up to face them. "Fire Lord Ozai is a horrible person, and the world would probably be better off without him, but there's got to be another way."

"Like what?"

"I don't know." Suddenly a wild idea flashed across his mind. "Maybe we can make some big pots of glue, and then I can use gluebending to stick his arms and legs together so he can't bend anymore!" he suggested with enthusiasm.

Zuko smirked humorlessly. "Yeah, then you can show him his baby pictures, and all those happy memories will make him good again."

Suki and Sokka tried to repress their laughter as Aang lightened up. "You really think that would work?" he asked hopefully.

"No!" Zuko exclaimed bluntly.

Aang sighed and started pacing back and forth in front of them. "This goes against everything I learned from the monks. I can't just go around wiping out people I don't like." He tossed his head resignedly.

"Sure you can." said Sokka. "You're the Avatar. If it's in the name of keeping balance, I'm pretty sure the universe will forgive you."

Unfortunately, for Aang it was too much. Sokka's words brought him over the edge and he lost his temper. He whirled and yelled in their faces, his fists clenched. "This isn't a joke, Sokka! None of you understands the position I'm in!"

Katara sensed trouble. This definitely wouldn't end well. The airbender was nearly shaking with rage. "Aang, we do understand." she said calmly, trying to ease the situation.

"No, you don't! I see exactly what's going on here." He pointed an accusing finger at her. "You're trying to persuade me that this is the only right way just like Zuko did on your stupid field trip!"

"What are you talking about?" Katara asked, baffled by the sudden change of the topic.

Aang turned to the banished prince. "You wanted Katara to end that man's life all along! You say that violence isn't the answer, but you don't mean that! Now because of you everybody tries to make me accept violence as the only solution. Even Katara!"

The girl was shocked. "Aang, this is madness!" she spoke immediately, not giving Zuko any chance to reply. It wasn't only because his temper might aggravate the situation, as his fists were already clenching, but because she felt wounded. Rarely had Aang let his extreme emotions take over while he was talking to her. "Zuko never wanted me to kill that man. Besides, I have a mind of my own. No one can simply force me to do as they say. I decide what's right and what's wrong."

"Then why are you all saying that I can't decide what's right?!" Aang couldn't understand why she was defending the firebender. Why was she trying to convince him to change his mind, while she hadn't been able to kill Yon Rha herself?

"Look, Aang," Sokka interrupted. "You do have a point here, but it's a completely different situation, so stop accusing Katara and Zuko. On your choice depends the fate of the whole world. Just look back at the history and pay attention on what happened when the bad guy was spared."

"Remember what Avatar Kiyoshi said?" Katara added, supporting her brother's viewpoint. "She didn't regret letting Chin the Conqueror fall into the sea. Thanks to her the war was finally over. Now you can stop this war, too. Think of all the destruction and suffering you could put to end."

"Don't bring up Kiyoshi, she would have ended anyone who stood in her way." Aang argued, waving the topic off. "Why have you changed, Katara?" he asked suddenly, looking into her eyes. "Why do you think there's no other way?!"

"We're all just being realistic here." Zuko growled.

"Aang, it's just..."

"Just what, Katara?! What?!"

"We're trying to help!" the waterbender shouted, barely holding herself back. Even she couldn't give calm answers to such attacks forever.

"Then, when you figure out a way for me to beat the Fire Lord without taking his life, I'd love to hear it!" Aang threw his arms up in the air. Then he turned away from them and stormed off, stamping loudly.

"Aang! Don't walk away from this!" Katara was on the point of following him.

"Let him go, Katara." Toph spoke quietly. "This isn't a good idea."

The waterbender turned around and swept her gaze over her friends' faces.

"She's right." Zuko admitted. "He needs time to sort it out by himself."

Katara wanted to glance back at Aang, but he had already disappeared in the doorway. Frustrated, she slumped down onto the steps.

Thousands of stars were twinkling vividly in the sky above the black ocean, their light sparkling on its surface. The waning moon cast its pale glow on the dark shadows encircling the shore. Some of them stood still like dumb watchers keeping a vigil over the sleeping creatures to which they provided shelter in the dark, whereas some swayed gently in the evening wind, maintaining life in the still night landscape.

Katara was sitting on the edge of the narrow pier, observing it all in awe. She had gone to the beach in search for a serene place to clear her mind. She loved observing the night sky; it always soothed her nerves. There was something magical about it, something that made her feel like being in a different realm where time had stopped.

She could still hear Aang shouting at them in her mind. Even though she felt wounded because of his outburst, there was no point in holding a grudge against him. Katara tried to keep in mind that he was a thirteen-year-old Avatar, who was expected to save the world. The world which counted on him, his skills and courage. He was her hope, too. Only he could stop the Fire Lord and put an end to his tyranny. It was an imposed duty which he was obliged to fulfill… but at what cost?

Katara stirred on hearing approaching footsteps behind her. She turned her head and saw the banished prince coming near.

"Hey, I don't suppose you need company, but… I just wanted to check on you." he said sheepishly.

Katara smiled weakly. "I don't mind company."

He took a seat next to her, the tips of his boots brushing the surface of water. Somehow, Katara was thankful that he joined her. This simple willingness of 'checking on her' meant a lot. It made her feel as if he really cared about her. After all, hadn't he proven it during their mission?

There had been times when all she needed was solitude to help her through difficult and painful issues, but not tonight. Tonight she felt the need to let her concerns out. Since Aang didn't want to listen to her, maybe Zuko would.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He was gazing up at the night sky, a shadow of apprehension on his face. The dim moonlight sharpened his features. As chance would have it he glanced back at Katara a second after she had done the same. Disconcerted, the waterbender averted her eyes instinctively.

"He hasn't come back to the courtyard, has he?" she asked grimly.

"No. He's been meditating since you brought him supper to the balcony."

Katara gave a frustrated grunt. She clutched her forehead, elbow on her thigh. "This is the same as when we escaped from Ba Sing Se. He left us without a single note, all because he got it into his head that it was his fault only that the Earth Kingdom had fallen. He was going to try and save the world all by himself. And now he's refusing help just like back then. He thinks that he can handle everything alone." She let her hands drop down on her lap again. "Why won't he let us near him? How am I supposed to help him if he acts like he doesn't need me?"

Katara realized she'd just said that Aang behaved as if he didn't need her. She could have said 'it', referring to help, or 'us', referring to the group, but instead a different word escaped her lips. It hadn't been a slip-up. It was her motherly instincts taking over again. She wanted all that was the best for him, she wanted to guide him through all the hardships and shield him from unpleasant effects of his mistakes and disastrous consequences of his failures. Was it wrong of her to be so protective of someone she cared for?

"I just feel so helpless." she continued. "Even if he wanted to hear me out, what advice would I give him? All his life he was taught that all life is sacred… and now he has to end one. It all just created opposite viewpoints within me. I know that if we want to end the war we must defeat the Fire Lord, but… I'm starting to think that maybe there really are other ways… The worst thing is that I can't come up with any. On the other hand, I keep thinking about the dream I had right after we'd arrived here. What if it really meant something? I spared that man's life and later he came for me in the nightmare. Maybe it all just makes me so paranoid that I'm seeking significance in dreams, but I don't think I would even need that dream to see that if you leave a problem not entirely solved out, it may grow anew, sometimes even more serious than before."

"You're right." Zuko finally answered. "I don't know what Aang is planning to do, even he doesn't know it yet, but one thing is certain. If her spares my father's life, he will have absolutely no guarantee that he'll convince the 'mighty Fire Lord' to change his ideas. Nothing and no one in the world will bring the word 'balance' to his mind, especially not the Avatar who turned out to be a young boy."

Katara sighed in defeat. "I know. I just feel somehow obliged to relieve him of this burden, at least to some extent. We are his only family now."

Once again, the firebender found himself admiring her benevolence. Aang was so lucky to have someone who cared for him so much. But it was the highest time for him to take his own decisions and take be ready to bear responsibility for them.

"I trust Aang," he said. "And I hope that whatever choice he makes, he'll do the right thing. He's the bridge between the worlds, right? I'm sure the spirits will give him the answers he needs."

Katara hadn't considered it before. Roku would certainly be able to give Aang some advice. Perhaps they were even talking right now, when the airbender was meditating. She hung her head. "Sometimes it's just hard to stop worrying and convince oneself that everything will eventually turn out well. I wish there was something I could do for him."

"There is." Zuko remarked. The girl peeked at him quizzically. "Just be there for him. That's the best you can offer. He needs you, even if he doesn't express it at times."

Katara couldn't help but smile faintly. Once again, she heard the confirmation of what she was already aware of, but it had pretty much the same effect as learning it for the first time. Tired of dwelling on her concerns she tilted her head and rested it comfortably on Zuko's shoulder. "Thanks." she whispered.

For a longer while neither of them stirred, letting the tranquil silence overwhelm them. Zuko felt Katara's silky hair softly tickling his neck. He caught himself wondering what it would feel like in his hands. Her hair was beautiful in many ways. Since the day he'd seen her in the Western Air Temple she'd kept it tied partly, only to prevent it from falling on her face. It always flowed down her back in dark glossy waves, mesmerizing the watcher. Even when it was unkempt, it looked as if it was meant to be this way; even when she tried to keep it tidy, it was messy, but in a very tidy way.

The prince couldn't help but be slightly surprised, noticing how freely the waterbender acted around him. Even though many days had elapsed since their mission, it was still hard to believe that she trusted him after their last encounter in the Earth Kingdom. Of course, he couldn't be happier, seeing how their relations were improving by the day. And it wasn't because of her knowing the truth about his scar. It had begun days before. Perhaps Aang wasn't the only lucky bender around here…

Eventually Zuko broke the silence. "The sky looks magnificent tonight."

Katara lifted her head, slightly reluctant to lose contact with his shoulder, and looked up at the stars. They looked even more beautiful than usual. She saw hundreds of shapes and figures, their contours shining lively on the black velvet sky. "Yeah… I love looking at the night sky. It seems so…"

"…magical?"

She smiled broadly and gave him a warm sideways glance. "You took this word right out of my mouth." She peeked down at her fingers laced neatly on her lap. "I used to stargaze a lot at the South Pole, with my mom." The treasured memory would always bring a smile to her face. "In summer, during the polar night we always had plenty of time to admire all the wonderful phenomena in the sky." Her mother had shown her all the constellations and as a child Katara loved listening to the legends connected with them. In the Fire Nation, though, the stars were different than at the South Pole, but not any less marvelous.

"I used to do that, too," Zuko mentioned. "…with my mother." He pointed at a group of bright stars above their heads. "The Dragon has always been my favorite constellation."

Katara's gaze followed his finger. She saw the shape almost immediately. It was quite distinctive. She could perfectly see the creature's head and tail, twinkling vividly.

"It's beautiful." she admitted. "You should see the southern lights, though. They would take your breath away, really. They are like constantly shifting and twisting patches of paint in a picture, with colors so beautiful as in the rainbow, but much more vivid. They're like rivers in the sky, sometimes emerald like gems, sometimes green as leaves…"

Zuko had heard of the aurora before, yet he'd never had the chance to witness the display during his travels around the world. He'd heard many descriptions and accounts of people who had been lucky enough to see it, but the way Katara illustrated it was somehow special. It sounded like the introduction of a fascinating magical tale. It made him want to hear the next chapters and lose himself in the story.

"Do you always speak so poetically of nature?"

Katara arched her eyebrow. "What – do you mind?" she asked with a hint of amusement.

The prince only smiled enigmatically. "Quite the contrary."

A/N: Whew... finally another chapter. Writing two stories simultaneously is not really something I'm good at. But what's the point in making excuses... ;)

I'm honored to see that you enjoy reading my fanfiction. It really means a lot. Thanks!