Okay, I have a confession to make. I haven't started Chapter 13… :O I'M SORRY! Ahh I'm just at a bit of a block at the moment… but it's okay, I sorta have ideas… just warning you I may not update the next chapter at lightning speed… because I'm so good about that anyway ;)
Buuuttt anyway… here's Chapter 12. It switches back and forth a lot… kinda gave me a headache writing it so… good luck but don't worry, I promise you the next one won't be so… flip-floppy. It was too tiring for me to write lol.
ENJOY CHAPTER 12! :D
Chapter 12
(Finnick's POV)
I visit Annie every day. The doctors give me special clearance even when visiting hours are over. After her… decline during my first visit, they were hesitant to let me back in, but something about the look in my eyes when they barred the door stopped them. Even though her condition is seemingly unchanged, she doesn't scream anymore when she sees me.
Which doesn't happen often.
But sometimes something in her brain will slip, and she is let out of her world for long enough to notice I am there. If that happens when a nurse is around, she will scream and thrash to the point of needing sedation. But if it's me, something in her face relaxes.
For a split second, the terror is gone, and is replaced with a face that looks so helpless, so tired, so sad. But then her demons drag her back into her world of nightmares, and the terror returns. Her face changes so quickly, it's scary. She grips my wrist with terrifying strength. Every time that happens it makes me want to cry. To see her face contort with such pain and have no idea what she is feeling… it makes my heart hurt.
(Annie's POV)
Every minute of every day, I hear screams.
At the bloodbath.
Sage as the tracker jackers sting her to death.
Jackson.
Me.
They never stop.
Darkness.
I used to like darkness.
It used to be soothing, comforting.
I used to only be able to sleep in complete darkness.
But now, darkness is just a backdrop.
For the bloody corpses to scream and claw at me.
For Jackson's severed head to haunt me.
Sometimes water comes.
It fills my black hole, and I can't breathe.
I think I try to scream then.
But you can't scream if you can't breathe.
But sometimes the clawing hands let go of me.
And I can float.
And when I float, I float up, up, up, and as I reach the top of my endless black hole, I see whiteness.
White lights, white rooms, white walls, and faces.
Sometimes I see nurses.
I remember the first time I saw nurses.
They stuck a needle in my arm and all of a sudden I was trapped in my black hole for a long time.
The last time I saw them they did the same thing.
I don't like being trapped.
So I scream.
But sometimes I see Finnick.
He doesn't trap me.
He makes me feel warm, soft, safe.
He makes me feel like I could float forever.
But the hands always win in the end.
No matter how hard I try to hold on to Finnick, they always win.
Dragging me back under.
Trapping me until I can float again.
(Finnick's POV):
Eventually, the doctors decide going home would be good for Annie. Since the hospital seems to be doing nothing for her, they decide that trying to integrate her back into her old routine may help her. I am grateful. I hate seeing her lying there in a white room, day after day. Maybe a change of scenery will be good for her.
We get her home and into her own bed, and the doctors tell us they will come check in daily with medication. Then they leave, and it's just me and Annie, until Mrs. Cresta walks in. She looks relieved. "I went to the hospital but they said she'd gone home!" she says frantically. I nod. She looks at Annie, and tears well up in her eyes.
The day Annie came back from the arena, no visitors were allowed. So the first time she was declared "stable" enough for visitors, they let in Mrs. Cresta. Unfortunately, the minute she walked in, Annie had a fit. She screamed and kicked and banged her head over and over on her bed, pressing her hands over her ears like she did the day she came back. The doctors thought that seeing Mrs. Cresta triggered something in her brain, so the next time they allowed visitors, they wouldn't let Mrs. Cresta see her. This is the first time she has seen Annie since then, and I can't imagine what it must be like for her.
Actually, I can.
Almost losing someone you love and when they come back to you… not even knowing if they recognize you… it's unbearable.
I sit by Annie's bed, watching her lay there. I don't know why I'm doing it. She doesn't look peaceful. Her hands clench and unclench, her eyes are wide. I sit back in the chair and close my eyes. I'm so tired, I'll only rest them for a minute… just a minute…
"Finnick! FINNICK!" I am awakened by the screams. Annie is kicking, clawing at the air, screaming my name over and over. "Finnick! FINNICK!" I run over to the bed, to try and calm her down. I put my hand on her back. "Shh," I say softly. "Annie, it's okay." The minute my hand touches her back, though, she freezes. She stiffens, and then starts shaking. I lay down on the bed next to her and wrap my arms around her, holding her close. "Shh, shh," I whisper. "It's okay, you're okay."
(Annie's POV)
I'm floating again.
So how come I only see darkness?
Why is there no whiteness?
Where is Finnick?
I can't float into darkness.
What waits there?
I'm getting closer, closer, closer to the unknown darkness.
But there, in the darkness, I can barely make it out…
Finnick, sleeping on the chair next to me.
But wait, the hands. I can feel them, on my feet, clawing at my ankles.
I can't let them take me. Not now.
"FINNICK!" I scream. Maybe he can save me; maybe he can get the hands away.
"FINNICK!" I scream again, but the hands are pulling me down, down, down, and Finnick's face is getting smaller and smaller and I can't let them take me, I can't I can't I can't! I kick and flail, all the while screaming for Finnick. He has to come, he has to save me.
And all of a sudden I feel a hand on my back. And it's Jackson, looking like he did on the train, no injuries, smiling even. But then he starts to cry, and it's blood. And I can't move, and I'm falling slowly back down the hole but I'm frozen still until-
Arms. Warm. Safe. They wrap around me. And now no matter how hard the hands pull I am floating, up, up, up, faster than I ever have before, and for the first time in what seems like an eternity, I am out. Out of the hole. And the only thing in the world I can feel is the soft, warm embrace of… who? But then I hear the voice, and it makes me feel so happy I could melt. I open my eyes, and I can barely see through the tears, but I don't care, it's who I see that matters. And so, in a voice that is so sad, so tired, so fragile that I would never know it was mine, I say, barely audible, "Finnick."
(Finnick's POV)
I hold Annie for a while; just lay there, with my arms around her. Her breathing is heavy, and I can tell she is fighting some sort of battle in her mind. I hold her tighter, and all of a sudden, something happens.
Something that, after the past few days, I would never have imagined could happen.
Annie flops, all the struggle has gone out of her.
Her expression of terror is replaced by one of exhaustion. And then she looks at me with tears in her eyes, and in a voice that sounds as fragile as butterfly wings, she whispers my name. "Finnick."
And I do the one thing I promised myself I would never do in front of Annie.
I cry.
And… after being a total spaz and crying at my own story… Here are the review responses!
The Faery Of Chaos: Thank you . And in terms of how long it's going to be… to be honest I don't know myself. As you read above, I haven't started 13 yet so I'm not quite sure where I'm going yet… sorry that was kind of unhelpful :P but please don't feel obligated to review every time… as amazing as it is to get reviews from you, since they always are so sweet, I understand if it just gets… tedious. Lol. But yeah, I'm really not sure how long it's gonna be… sorry :P 3
Peeta3: Fantastic? Really? Thanks! I love getting reviews, they make my day! Honestly I start smiling and my family/friends look at me like "what a weirdo." Lol but thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you love it!
Love you all! Review if you can!
Xoxo, GlimmerClove