Disclaimer: I own nothing
A/N: Yay I'm so excited that I got to post this chapter mostly because I have soooo much work to do this next month since I'm in the home stretch before the semester. I will NOT stop writing but it might be a bit slower to come by so bear with me folks. Still I think you'll be pleased how this chapter ends hehehe, it's got some of my favorite flashbacks.
Chapter 12: The Truth, Past and Present
Wednesdays were always movie nights with Hope, typically she picked out one of her favorite films while Jane supplied the requisite movie snacks, popcorn and candy with the always necessary Sour Patch Kids which was Hope's favorite. It was the one night of the week where Hope was allowed to get sick on whatever she wanted and guaranteed to have her father home early from work so they could enjoy the evening together.
She'd chosen The Lion King, which happened to be one of Jane's favorites. He was ready to sit back and enjoy the movie with his daughter and be prepared to rewind to replay "Hakunah Mattata" as many times as she desired. Hope curled up beside him and giggled to the shenanigans of Simba and Nala while they harassed their poor friend Zazu.
But the hard part came far too soon when Mufasa died and Simba was chased away from his home. The first time she had seen this movie she'd cried like most kids did when confronted with the death of a beloved cartoon character, she'd slept in his bed for three night after watching Bambii.
But this time Hope watched it with a serious look on her face before turning to her father with wide eyes. "Why did Simba leave?"
"His father died," Jane reminded her, "and he feels like it's his fault. Since he thinks he did something wrong, he's running away."
Hope was quiet for a minute before looking up at him again. "Is that why Mommy ran away?"
It wasn't the first time he was stunned by his daughter's intuition and intelligence and he knew it wouldn't be the last. "Mommy ran away because she was scared," Jane agreed, "just like Simba."
"And she came back."
Jane smiled now. "Yes she did, and while she isn't going to become king of the pridelands, she is going to see that she can't run away forever."
"So she's going to stay?"
"I hope so," Jane told her, "and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she realizes she should." Hope didn't look like she enjoyed that statement since it left room for doubt, but Jane wasn't going to risk lying and breaking her heart. Still there was more he wanted to say to make sure Hope understood some things. "You know that running away doesn't solve anything right?"
"But Simba ran away."
"And look what happened," Jane pointed out, "his mother and friends were hurt badly by his uncle. That didn't help anyone." He looked into her eyes. "The same way your mother running away didn't help anyone, she just left you alone and that isn't good."
"No," Hope agreed, "I missed her."
"Yes you did," Jane said, "but the person hurt most by this was your mother, she was missed your more than anything."
"Then she should have come back sooner."
"Yes she should have," Jane agreed, "But she was afraid, just like Simba was too afraid to go back until he was reminded of what he was."
"And did that happen to Mommy?"
"Well she certainly was reminded that she is your mother," Jane told Hope, "and it's going to be impossible for her to forget."
Hope sighed heavily and scrunched up closer to her father. "I just want Mommy to stay."
Jane leaned forward and kissed her temple. "I'm working on it, baby. I promise." They stayed together like that, just clinging to one another to find comfort. Then he picked the remote back up. "Come on, lets get back to movie night and see how many times we can sing along with Timon and Pumba."
His daughter gave him a smile and nodded her head but stayed snuggled up against him while he put the movie back on. They stayed like that, him keeping his daughter close while they enjoyed another night that was just the two of them.
And hopefully soon it would be three.
The sun was only just beginning to rise when Jane pulled his car up into the church's parking lot, Hope had long since fallen back asleep in her car seat and he smiled at her image in the rearview mirror. It might be early but there were already several cars in the parking lot as the wedding party was beginning their long prep before the ceremony. He was sure that the bridal party had been at the church for a while now.
He scooped his sleepy-eyed daughter into his arms grabbing his tux and her dress and awkwardly carried her into the church. The men were getting ready in one of the rooms, from the finger paintings on the walls; it was obviously used for Sunday school. "Hey," Rigsby said, half dressed in his suit, "you made it."
"Of course," Jane said quietly as Hope stirred a little in his arms. He handed Rigsby his own tux, "How are you feeling?"
"Oh I'm great, really," Rigsby replied but Jane could tell the man was nervous. It made sense, while Rigsby and Grace had been dancing around each other for years; this was still their wedding day.
He just smiled at him. "I'll drop Hope off with the ladies and come back, maybe Cho will be awake by then," he nodded his head to the other agent who was sitting in one of the tiny chairs his legs stretched out in front of him, his arms crossed and his head bent in sleep.
Rigsby grinned sheepishly, "I think he's still hungover from last night."
"Looking forward to the stories," Jane said with a grin before stepping out of the room.
He made his way down the hallway through the sanctuary, which was now decorated with hundreds of pink and white roses. Jane made his way to the opposite side of the church, the ladies were getting ready in a larger room that was probably used for the youth services. Being the gentleman that he was (some of the time) he knocked on the door first.
A few shrieks greeted him and he had to smile at that. Hope stirred again and blinked her eyes sleepily just as the door opened and a very lovely woman with blonde hair and light blue eyes cracked open the door. She smiled at the little girl in his arms. "Dropping off the flower girl?"
"You caught me."
She opened the door all the way so he could slip inside, every woman had quickly covered up but several were still tittering and blushing at their unmade faces or half-finished hair. Grace was sitting in the middle of them, her hair up in rollers and putting on her make up, but she grinned when she saw him. "Jane!"
"Hello, Grace," Jane replied, "I know I'm not the groom so it's okay if I see the bride."
She smiled sweetly. "How is Wayne doing?"
"He's fine, nervous, but he's much more awake then Cho." He gestured to the girl in his arms, "And this one."
Grace grinned and reached up to take Hope into her arms. Hope blinked sleepily and looked around. "Aunt Gwace," she murmured.
"Hello sweetheart."
Jane smiled down at his daughter. "Remember what today is?"
She nodded. "Gwace and Wigsby get merry!"
He grinned and nodded. "And you are going to be the flower girl."
She stuck her finger in her mouth and nodded. "I wear a pwetty dress."
"Yes you do," Grace said and set her on her hip, "and we should get you into that dress." Jane put said dress on a nearby table. "I take it that's my cue to leave. I'll see you," and then turned to the other women, "And the rest of you lovely ladies, in the ceremony." He kissed his daughter goodbye before leaving the room with giggles behind him.
It was going to be a special day.
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Two hours later Jane was standing at the alter with the other groomsmen; the sanctuary was filled with people on either side of the aisle. Rigsby was shuffling in his stance, his nerves had increased exponentially the closer they got to the ceremony. Cho was alert now; even a massive hangover couldn't faze him.
"You okay man?" Cho asked.
"Me? Oh yeah I'm fine," Rigsby replied but he was obviously paler and his voice was high. Jane caught Cho's eye and grinned, it was exactly how it should be. He remembered being similarly nervous on his own wedding day. There was a dull pain at the memory but that faded quickly. He was too excited to see Hope to dwell on the painful memories of his past.
The music started and he watched Rigsby become a couple shades paler. The doors opened and everyone turned to watch as the first of Grace's four bridesmaids made their way down the aisle. Jane did feel a little sad now as he knew that there was one bridesmaid that was missing, they might not be wearing the pink dresses he'd seen her in all those years ago, but that memory danced before his eyes.
She should have been here.
He was pulled from his morose thoughts as Rigsby's son made his way down the aisle carrying the rings on a small pillow. Unlike his father, he wasn't nervous but actually looked a little uncomfortable in his small suit, still he beamed up at his father for approval when he took his place.
Now was the moment Jane had been waiting for. He watched as his little daughter began her trek down the aisle. She was wearing the soft white dress with a pale pink sash; a small wreath of pink flowers and baby's breath nestled in her curls. Hope clutched the little basket of flower petals in her gloved hands, about half way down the aisle she remembered her job and took a handful of petals and dropped them on the ground.
Hope walked up to the alter but looked up to see her father on the other side of the stage. Just the night before in rehearsal she'd done the role perfectly but as it usually is with children, nothing could be counted on. She ran across the stage, "Daddy!" she exclaimed and rushed over to him, her arms held open.
There was quite a bit of laughter as Jane picked her up and held her in his arms. Rigsby smiled at him while Jane just grinned and shrugged, 'oh well'. People were still tittering over Hope's adorable faux pas but turned their attention as the maid of honor made her way down the aisle.
And then everyone rose for the bride.
Jane heard Rigsby's gasped as he caught his first glimpse of Grace. She did look beautiful in a stunning dress and happily being escorted by her father. Their eyes were only on each other as she made her way towards him. Exactly how it should be.
The service began and Hope was content to remain in her father's arms for the duration of the ceremony.
Jane didn't mind in the least.
The team was waiting for something to happen on the Lisa Potter front, Jane was certain that she would call Michael in the next couple of days, then they would finally have their man. Meanwhile Forensics was getting a jump on the evidence from Father Gruden's death scene. They had found a partial fingerprint from the Father's cross that didn't match the priest, which might be enough to identify someone at the scene. Unfortunately Michael had never been formally charged with anything so no fingerprints for AFIS would be a match.
But the team wasn't bored, mostly because they were busy watching the on going soap opera that was the lives of their friends Jane and Lisbon. Ever since they returned from interviewing Lisa they had said only three words to each other and they both seemed downright pissed at one another.
Grace, Rigsby and Cho knew they has the best shot with Jane to get information. They had to wait until Lisbon finally left to go for lunch when they could pounce on their friend like a cat on a mouse. They watched her leave in anticipation before meeting each others eyes as if in a silent agreement to begin.
"She's gone," Jane said from his couch, "just ask me already."
Grace blushed while Rigsby just looked sheepish but Cho just raised an eyebrow. "Well, what the hell happened?"
Jane sighed and swung his legs off of the couch so he was sitting up. "Nothing."
"You were doing so great with her," Grace pointed out, "And now you two aren't talking. Something happened."
"Well she and I had an unpleasant confrontation at a produce stand," Jane told her, "lets leave it at that."
"What did you do to her?" Cho asked.
"Why do you think I did something?"
"Well she's mad for some reason," Rigsby pointed out.
Jane gave him an annoyed look. "I did nothing that she didn't want, she just can't accept the truth."
"Which is?"
He sighed heavily. "That everything she assumed over what happened between us might not be right."
Grace looked stunned. "You mean you told her you loved her?"
Now it was Jane's turn to look a little sheepish. "No."
"Then what did you do?"
He looked away, obviously more than a little reluctant to actually talk about something so personal. But these three had helped him so much through the years, especially with his daughter. "We talked about Hope, about when she was probably conceived." Rigsby made a face. "Then I kissed her."
Grace looked ready to swoon. "That's great!"
"She's mad at him," Cho reminded her, "Something else happened."
He was right and Grace was forced to remember that something wasn't right between the two of them. "She got upset?"
"She hit me," Jane replied.
"Because she still thinks you used her," Grace pointed out, "did you tell her the truth?"
"She doesn't want to hear it."
"Well not if you don't tell her." Cho muttered.
Jane shrugged. "She isn't going to believe me even if I did tell her. She's lived the past five years with the certainty that she meant nothing more than a means to an end, why would she change her mind now?"
"How do you know she won't if you don't give her a chance and tell her the truth?"
"I'm giving her a chance," Jane replied harshly. "I've given her more chances than anyone! She abandoned Hope and ran off and yet I'm still giving her the chance to be her mother."
"Any how many chances did she give you? How many times did she save your ass? How many times did she risk her life and career to protect you?"
Jane thought about it for just a minute before his ire dissipated. "Too many," he said. "That's why I won't give up on her…it just would be so easier if I could."
Grace looked at him sadly. "Just talk to her. Be honest and tell her how you felt, like what you said on the stand."
"She doesn't want to hear any of that," Jane replied, "She made that perfectly clear."
"Make her hear you."
"I think the past five years has established that neither one of us can make her do anything," Jane told her sardonically.
She glared at him. "So you're giving up?"
"Of course not, I'm not going to stop pushing her to be a mother to Hope until she gets on a plane back to New York," Jane told her honestly.
"This isn't just about Hope," Grace replied, "This is about you. You need her just as much as Hope does, stop hiding behind your daughter and do something for yourself!"
"And if she rejects what I have to say?" Jane asked, "Then I'll lose her and so will Hope."
"If you don't say something you'll have already lost her."
He didn't really know how to reply to that but he wasn't sure if he agreed. If he didn't say anything there was hope she would wakeup and see what was right in front of her. But rejection was a likely possibility, perhaps even more so now after the incident the day before.
He shook his head. "I need more time, she needs more time."
Jane left before Grace could remind him that they didn't have much more time left.
What he didn't see was the determined look in her eyes that said if he wasn't going to act then the feisty redhead would take matters into her own hands.
The music was lively and festive as several couples hit the dance floor to present their own version of 'dancing' with varying degrees of success. Jane was enjoying the show from his seat with the wedding party; Hope was wide-awake now and enjoying the music. She kept grabbing her father's hand and twirling around and around, her skirt flaring out around her.
He'd been approached many times since the ceremony asking about his daughter, everyone complimented how adorable she was and sharing another laugh at her running to him at the alter. Hope loved all of the attention; now that the boring ceremony was over she was enjoying the reception. Jane had to admit that the food was pretty good and the music wasn't bad.
Hope tugged on his hand, still twirling around. "Dance, daddy!"
He chuckled. "You want to dance?"
She nodded her head enthusiastically. Well he was more than happy to indulge his favorite girl. Jane stood up and slipped his hand into hers, letting her drag him out onto the dance floor. Several people smiled at them but Jane's eyes were on his little girl. "Okay, sweetheart," he said pulling her towards him. He lifted her up and set her down, her feet resting on the top of his shoes.
"Daddy?"
"You said you wanted to dance," Jane reminded her. She began to giggle and squeal as he moved his feet, it really seemed like she was dancing even if he was the one doing all of the work. "Look, daddy," Hope said still giggling, "We're dancing!"
"Yes, we are," he agreed, laughing along with her.
Grace was on her husband's arm as they danced along with the rest of the couples but she grinned when she saw Jane with his daughter. "Awww look at you two," she said smiling sweetly, "I was wondering if you could be dragged out onto the dance floor."
Jane just grinned. "What can I say? I have a thing for brunettes."
Grace laughed but Hope wanted all of the attention for herself. "Spin me, daddy!"
He smiled and did as she asked, mostly because her laughter was the most beautiful sound he knew.
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The normal reception tradition followed including the ritual smashing of the cake into the bride and groom's faces, the toasts and the calling for the kiss. Hope's favorite part was the cake; she clapped her hands with glee when they made a mess of icing on each other's faces. Of course she enjoyed getting her own small slice of the dessert, which she proceeded to smear all over herself.
Jane simply chuckled and took a napkin to wipe the sugary icing off of her face. Cho was sitting next to him, sipping from some seltzer water; he was watching their two now married friends making the rounds. Jane grinned and nodded in their direction. "It's a nice sight isn't it?"
Cho shrugged but Jane saw his lips soften a little bit. "You always thought it would happen again."
"Actually I said it was inevitable."
The other man rolled his eyes and took another sip of his drink. He turned his head and Jane watched as his eyes locked onto the bridesmaids' table, specifically one very slender brunette. "I see you've found another nice sight." Cho didn't say anything but he maintained eye contact with the brunette who finally noticed, she gave him a very sly smile. "Well are you going to go over there or not?"
Cho finally looked at Jane. "What do you think?" then he set his drink down and walked over to the lovely lady. Jane grinned and shook his head at his friend's retreating form.
Hope crawled out of her chair and then walked over to her father, tugging on his leg. He smiled and lifted her up so she was sitting on his lap. "You know you are the prettiest girl here right?" She nodded her head and took her finger out of her mouth to smile at him. Then she reached over and took a grape from one of the small plates in front of her.
"Is this seat taken?"
Jane turned his head to see the tall blonde maid of honor he'd seen in the ceremony earlier. "No," he told her smoothly.
She sat down next to him in the seat previously occupied by Cho. "I'm Amy," she held out a hand.
"Patrick," Jane replied shaking her hand while still holding Hope in his other arm. "You went to college with Grace, right?"
"You have a good memory," Amy said smiling, "she's told me quite a bit about you."
Jane raised an eyebrow, now he was getting very good idea at what was going on. "I hope that's a good thing."
She laughed lightly, showcasing a very beautiful smile. "She told me that you are a very interesting person with a unique life."
"That is one way to put it."
Now Amy looked at him slyly. "She also told me that you are single."
Jane grew a little serious but nodded his head. "She's correct."
Amy sighed and leaned in a little closer. "I'll be honest with you, I did my research. I know about your family." She gave him a very sad look. "I'm so sorry."
He felt that familiar ache that would never ever go away. "That's okay," Jane said softly, "It was a long time ago." That didn't mean it didn't still hurt. He felt the little girl in his arms and squeezed her a little tighter, kissing the top of her head. It would always hurt, but Hope was the best balm for any wounded soul.
"I understand," Amy told him, "I truly do." He watched as a flicker of pain passed over her own face. "I had a fiancé…five years ago he was killed. Afghanistan," she explained.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Jane told her genuinely.
She nodded. "It took a very long time for me to ever be ready to even think about putting myself out there again. I also know that there will always be a part of me that will want him." Amy gave him a small smile, "I guess what I'm trying to say is…I understand more than most, I know what to expect."
"I'm sure you do," Jane said gently. He took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of Hope's hair.
He saw her smile falter just a little and then she looked at him knowingly. "But that's all isn't it?"
Jane sighed. "You're a very lovely woman…"
"But you are still holding onto someone," Amy finished for him. Her gaze turned to Hope and she gave the little girl a big smile. "I'm going to guess that someone has something to do with this little one."
"You are also a perceptive woman."
She just smiled and stood up now. "If you do change your mind…or if you just want to talk sometime, Grace can get in touch with me."
"Thank you," Jane told her even though he knew he would never talk to her again.
Not long after Amy walked away, Hope started to squirm and he let her down. She toddled out a little ways onto the dance floor and began to twirl around. Occasionally she would spin so fast she would fall down onto her bottom but then she would laugh and get back up to start over again.
Grace waited a few minutes before pouncing on him, as much as any woman could pounce in a wedding dress. Still she sat down next to him and gave him a wide smile. Jane smiled back at her but gave her a look that said it all. "Yes?"
"I saw you talking to Amy," Grace told him smugly.
"Did you?"
"Oh stop playing games," Grace said, "What did you think of her?"
He shrugged. "She's a lovely person."
"Is that all?"
"What would you like me to say?"
Grace rolled her eyes obviously disappointed in her friend. "Oh come on, Jane! She's gorgeous, she's nice, she loves kids and she's a linguist."
"Really a linguist?" Jane asked, impressed but not enough for him to change his mind. She groaned and he chuckled softly. "You're very sweet, Grace but I think you should stick to the CBI and quit the matchmaking business entirely."
She sighed and looked up at him sadly. "I want you to be happy, Jane."
He frowned at her. "What makes you think I'm not?"
"You're alone," Grace reminded him gently, "don't you want to be with someone?"
Jane just smiled and shook his head. "I'm not alone," he told her and then turned his head in the direction of his daughter. "Hope is the only woman I need."
Grace didn't believe him. That was obvious but that wasn't Jane's problem. He just gave her a smile and gently squeezed her shoulder before standing up and walking over to his daughter.
Hope was still spinning around so she was surprised when her father suddenly scooped her up into his arms. She squealed and laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck in a big hug.
Grace watched it all with a bit of sadness. This was a happy day for her but she wanted everyone in her life to be just as blissful as she was. She knew Jane loved being a father again and that Hope had truly brought him peace in his life…but she also knew that he had to be lonely at night when he was alone.
So why would he turn Amy down?
She quietly walked over to her new husband and Cho were standing off to the side. "Something wrong?" Wayne asked her, he was genuinely concerned.
Grace smiled a little and sighed. "It's Jane," she turned around to look at Jane who was still happily playing with his daughter. "He turned Amy down."
Rigsby pulled her up against him and squeezed her hand, "I understand."
"I was really hoping that he would try."
"Why?" Cho asked simply.
Now both of them turned to look at him dumbfounded. "What?"
He shook his head. "I can't believe you tried to set Jane up."
"I was trying to do something nice," Grace defended herself, "that's not a bad thing."
"But it was never going to work," Cho replied easily.
"How would you know?"
"Because it's Jane," he said simply. "Look at how long he held onto his wife, and she's dead. Why would Jane move on now? Lisbon is alive and he is taking care of their daughter." He shook his head. "There's no way he'd be with someone else."
Rigsby nodded his head and looked at his wife. "We all remember what he said at the custody battle."
Grace looked over at Jane sadly. He was holding Hope close, kissing the top of her head. She looked so much like her mother that it hurt. "He's still in love with her."
Lisbon found herself sitting in the old familiar break room but with nothing to do. A cup of warm coffee rested in her hands but she barely sipped it. She was too focused on her own confusing thoughts. Five years ago she thought she'd understood everything. She thought that Jane cared about her as much as she cared for him. That had all come crashing down around her when she realized that he'd simply used her as a way to finally complete his revenge, their child an accidental byproduct of his plan.
She hated him, she'd told herself that many times. After what he did to her it made perfect sense.
Then why had she kissed him back? Why had she felt heady emotions the second his lips had touched hers?
Now nothing made sense.
She was so focused on her thoughts that she didn't even hear Grace storm into the room, not until she set a heavy stack of bound papers heavily in front of her. Lisbon jumped and turned her eyes to Grace questioningly. "What is this?"
Grace was firm and stoic. "It's the court transcript from the custody battle between your brothers and Jane."
Lisbon raised her eyebrows. Grace had told her about the custody case but she was still having a hard time believing that it actually happened. She knew that Jane had a real relationship with her brothers, that Hope was adored by her uncles, it seemed impossible that Jane had actually had to fight to keep her.
But there was the transcript sitting right in front of her.
She fingered the edge of the papers. "Why did you bring me this?"
"Because you need to read it," Grace told her simply. "Especially Jane's testimony, you need to see that you are wrong."
"About what?"
"Everything."
She didn't go into further explanation but instead chose to quit the room. Lisbon remained sitting at the table, staring at the transcript in front of her. Grace thought she was wrong. But "everything" was such a vague term, what could she mean by it?
There was truly only one way to find out.
Lisbon gathered up the transcript and made her way out of the CBI so she could find a place in peace so she would not be disturbed. In the end she chose her hotel room where she could rest on her bed and lock the door.
That is exactly what she did. She only moved to change position. Lisbon had intended to skip straight to Jane's testimony but each time she turned a page something else caught her eye. So she read, skimming through her brother's testifying of the many times she'd complained about Jane only to have him turn it around and point out that she actually had enjoyed working with him.
Then there was Sophie Miller's testimony and Lisbon couldn't help but cringe. She wasn't surprised that Jane had once been suicidal, but she hated that everyone now knew he'd been put inside a mental hospital. She had wanted to keep that information to herself.
Her team had spoken on the stand as well. They had been quick to extol the virtues of Jane and his ability to be a parent, but the lawyer had been skilled at twisting actions and words. The worst was when Grace had been forced to admit a painful truth, that she had begged them to never tell Jane about Hope.
"Jane doesn't want to be a father again, and even if he does…you and I both know that he can't do it."
Well she had been wrong about that hadn't she?
She'd hesitated when she got to Jane's testimony, unsure if she truly wanted to read what was there. What could he possibly say that would change her mind? She was afraid but she didn't know why. Was she afraid that Jane would say something that would make her hate him more…or maybe that she really had been completely wrong.
But she didn't have the courage to stop herself either.
So she began. Reading about Jane making the lawyer run around in circles as she tried to peg him down, even smiling a bit when she read a few of his comments. He really was good with words.
"It doesn't matter who Hope's mother is, she's my child…But her mother is Teresa Lisbon, someone I care deeply about, if anything I cherish her more."
Lisbon felt her heart falter and pick up speed.
"It's all true, everything that has been said, everything you said. I've done some terrible things. I was a fraud; a con artist and I didn't care. My arrogance is what got my family killed and that is a guilt that I will have to live with for the rest of my life, that's never going to go away. And you are right; I hurt Teresa, more than once. I treated her terribly sometimes and she deserved better than me, you are right about that…"
"But you are wrong about one thing. None of that comes from indifference. I cared about your sister; I cared about her more than anything…"
"I loved her, I loved everything about her… I still do."
That was when Lisbon's heart stopped.
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It was pouring down rain and thunder rumbled low and forbidding but Lisbon didn't really care, she was driving like a maniac while blinking away the tears. She had to get there, the weather be damned.
"There were two options, I could love her…or I could leave her. And I couldn't survive without her…so I had no choice. I had to love her just like I have to breathe"
Lisbon pushed the gas pedal harder and wiped the tears from her eyes, barely acknowledging the lights and stop signs. All she wanted to do was get there.
It was a plan. I entered into a relationship with her knowing exactly what would happen. That much is true. But never let it be said that I didn't care for her because the truth is…Hope was conceived in love. I love her mother and I love the child that resulted from that love."
Eventually she found herself outside of Jane's home that he shared with their daughter. It was dark; the only light came from inside the home and streetlights outside that reflected off of the puddles on the pavement.
Lisbon hauled herself out of the car, her hands clutching the wrinkled pages she'd taken from the transcript. She was only outside of her car for a few moments but that was enough to get her drenched.
She banged repeatedly on his door, not caring how late the hour was. In a few seconds Jane opened the door and there was no hiding how surprised he was to see her.
"Lisbon, what are you—?"
"Is it true?" she interrupted, water streaming from her soaked hair, her clothes were beginning to stick to her.
"What?"
"Is this true?" she held up the wrinkled and wet papers, thrusting them at him.
Jane gaped at her a little but wordlessly took the papers, smoothing them out carefully so he could read them without causing further damage. It only took a moment for him to look up at her again. "How did you get this?"
"Just tell me," she repeated. "Is it true? Did you mean what you said on the stand or were you just saying what you had to in order to keep Hope? Is it true?"
He stood there for a long time simply staring at her. She blinked back tears as she waited; she waited to know if she really had been a fool all those years ago.
Then Jane sighed. "I meant every word."
Lisbon closed her eyes and shook her head, biting back a sob.
Jane stepped forward and grabbed her shoulders, trying to get her to look at him. "I spent years trying to stop myself from feeling something, I tried so hard to protect you and that is my greatest failure. If I could have stopped myself from loving you I would have done so gladly if only to keep you safe."
Lisbon shook her head. "I hate you," she told him but her voice was thin and wavering. "I hate you so much because this is just like you! You say things and I…I don't know what the truth is anymore."
She stood there in the pouring rain. "I hate you," she whispered to him but there was no strength behind those words.
Then she stepped forward and kissed him.
Jane was caught off guard by her actions but was not going to fight it by any means. She pushed him back, somehow he managed to kick the door shut before he found himself up against the wall while she continued her passionate onslaught. He smiled against her mouth as he twined his fingers through her wet hair to better position her head. Lisbon didn't mind, just kept kissing him with as much passion as she could pour in. She'd been starved for so long it felt like a dam bursting forth; she couldn't seem to slake her desire now.
He pushed her back a little, smiling at her. "I love you."
Lisbon stared back at him, impatient to kiss him again. "I hate you.
But even she knew that was a lie.
Jane grinned at her and pulled her back into his arms so he could kiss her again.
She didn't know how long they stayed that way, letting their heady kisses speak for them, their hands roaming all over each other's body. But it became readily apparent that what they desired was not best served right by the front door.
He broke the kiss and took her hand, leading her up the stairs where his bedroom was. She followed him, clinging to his hand as he steered her to where they both wanted to be. Jane put a finger to his lips as they walked past the door that marked Hope's bedroom, neither one of them wanted their daughter to be woken up now.
As soon as they were safely ensconced in Jane's bedroom all bets were off. They lunged at each other; eager to divest the other of clothing so naked skin to could meet naked skin. Lisbon didn't know how it happened but soon enough her shirt and bra were gone and she'd managed to remove Jane's shirt and unbutton his pants.
It took a while for them to slide off her wet jeans but they eventually managed to tug them off. Once that task was done Jane pushed her onto his bed and she pulled him down on top of her. They shed what little remained of their clothing and finally met for the first time in years with nothing between them at all. They explored familiar territory, recalling every caress, every kiss that would send the other writhing.
Finally they could stand no more and he slowly, inch by inch, filled her completely. She moaned and closed her eyes against the searing pleasure, so much that she had been without for so long. But he remained still and she opened her eyes to look into his smiling face.
"I missed you," he whispered.
Lisbon smiled back and reached for his hand, entwining their fingers as they began to move and match a rhythm they perfected years ago. It felt amazing and warm.
It felt like coming home.
It was late in the evening when Jane finally made it home. Grace and Rigsby had been sent off on their honeymoon and Cho had bid him goodbye while the pretty brunette bridesmaid had been hanging on his arm. Jane fully expected that the man would have a very good weekend to go along with her.
Jane was happy to get home, Hope was obviously tired and he was glad to get away from the crush of tipsy people that everyone can find at weddings. He took Hope upstairs to her room immediately to change her out of her lovely flower girl dress. Jane silently reminded himself that he would have to get pictures to send to Hope's uncles, they would want to see how beautiful she had looked in her debut.
Hope blinked up at him sleepily as he put her in a pair of pajamas and laid her down onto her bed. He brushed the hair away from her face and smiled at her. "You had fun today didn't you?"
"Yes, daddy," she said, clutching her stuffed dog close. Hope put one finger in her mouth and blinked her eyes again; she was very close to falling asleep.
But there was one last thing he wanted to do.
Jane reached over and lifted the framed photograph that was by her bed. He looked at it for a moment, remembering the day it was taken. Six years before at the office, Rigsby had been trying out his new camera and she didn't know he was taking pictures. It was the candidness of it that Jane loved the most, she was deep in thought, almost wistfully sad but that was where her inner beauty shown through the most.
He held up the picture for Hope to see. "Do you remember who this is?"
Hope smiled and pulled her finger out of her mouth before exclaiming. "Mommy!"
Jane nodded his head with a smile. "That's right, she's your mommy." He turned it over for a second to look at it once more before handing it to Hope. "She's pretty isn't she?"
Hope ran her little fingers over the glass on the picture. "She's the most beautifullest person in the whole wide world."
He grinned. "Yes she is." He took the photograph from her and put it back on the table. "You look so much like her."
"Good."
That made him chuckle a little and he brushed another lock of hair away from her eyes. "She's going to be so proud of you," he promised her sweetly.
Her eyes grew somber as she turned them up to her father. "I miss her."
His heart cracked at her wistful words. "I miss her too, baby." He leaned down and took her hands in his, "But we'll see her again."
"Promise?"
He nodded. "I promise." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, Hope."
"Goodnight, daddy."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Jane kissed her one last time before standing up and shutting off the light, the night light in the corner turned on once it got dark and Hope snuggled into her bed. He shut the door behind him softly before making his way to his own room.
He took a seat on his empty bed and sighed. As much as he had told Grace that he wasn't lonely, she was right that he hadn't been entirely truthful.
But there was only one woman he wanted now and that was Hope's mother. But she wasn't ready yet.
So he would wait. As long as it took, he was going to wait.
A/N: I wanted to give you guys this chapter since it gave you a glimpse on how Jane kept Lisbon in Hope's memory and of course Lisbon finally got to learn the truth, that Jane always loved her, he never used her and that was the most important thing. Now we all get to see how this continues as the team FINALLY meet Michael Jessup.
