Notes: Hey there!

And here we FINALLY have a chapter that was beta-read. A million thanks to October Ashes, who is so good to me and a great help!

ATTENTION! This chapter has a fact that was based on early pictures of "Captain America: Civil War", I will not go into the story of the movie, because that's not the point. It's just something that happened and I put some stuff together based on the pictures that came up. It's the first thing in the chapter.

Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 11

Peggy died in the beginning of May. Harry was the one that told Susan and the one that took her to the funeral.

She didn't fit in there, not in the middle of family and friends; people that followed Peggy's history. Captain Rogers was there, carrying the casket.

Susan left as the rest of the procession was leaving for the cemetery and Harry took her to have ice cream.

"You should cry." He told her, passing her the vanilla cone she asked for.

"I've tried to," She said, looking at the cone without tasting it. "My eyes are dry."

"Maybe you're holding yourself back without even realizing it, Susan." He gently offered.

She gave a humorless laugh. "Oh I realize it, all right. I don't want to feel again. I'm damn scared of caring for anyone again."

"Why?"

"Because I've lost everyone," She said with a shrug. "I don't even know if I'll stay here much longer."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, concerned.

"The same reason for me to be sent here can be a reason for me to be sent anywhere else. For all I know, as soon as I do whatever I'm meant to do here, I could go all the way back to the 50's."

"But do you want to go?" He grasped her free hand gently between his.

"No. But I've learned that it hardly matters."

XxX

Susan could go on missions again, since she was given a clean bill of health from the doctors.

So after one of the missions, she came back and found the whole house empty and dark. Not even Reep was answering her calls.

Unsure of what could have possibly happened, Susan grabbed her gun and walked silently through the place. Upon coming into the hall where she danced with Harry, she was shocked by the bright lights.

"SURPRISE!"

"Holy shit!" She shrieked.

"You cursed," Eggsy celebrated. "This is the best day ever!"

Susan was still confused by why they were all there –and by "all," she meant every single agent she knew – until she saw the banner.

One Year of Susan

Today made it one year that she had come to them.

"Oh… There was no need…"

"Yes, there was," Harry said as he stepped closer to her. "You're a part of us now and we adore you for that." He hugged her.

"Oh Harry, you…" She was fanning herself, eyes becoming dangerously wet.

The lot of them came and gave her hugs, wishing her luck on one more year with them. Reep was barking and jumping up and down around her. Merlin was the last to approach her.

"It wasn't my idea." He said as soon as he came closer.

They had become friends. Susan could barely believe it. They were way closer than they had been before. But she felt that, somehow, he still held back from her in some way. She just didn't know what way. The same way she didn't understand why it mattered to her.

"Oh come on, Merls!" Eggsy whined. "It's her anniversary. Give her a kiss, at least."

Roxy placed her elbow against his side. Merlin wasn't looking very impressed.

"Eggsy…" His voice was a warning.

Eggsy had become quite invested in the idea of Merlin and her as a couple, though Susan couldn't exactly imagine why. She figured she was hardly the man's type.

Not that it mattered or anything.

"Eggsy, leave Merlin alone," Susan gently reproached. "I'll take a promise that he'll stop giving Reep treats instead."

Merlin turned to her with an eyebrow raised. "Will you?"

"Yes."

Then –shocking the whole freaking room –Merlin inclined his head and dropped a kiss to her temple.

When he straightened back, she was looking at him with wide eyes. He looked more than a little smug. "I guess you'll have to settle for a kiss, then."

XxX

Susan went to Monte Carlo with Caradoc for a mission. Actually, Bors and Eggsy would be taking care of the action; they were just the recon and distraction team.

Susan was having serious problems with her attire for this mission. Starting with the two things she had in her hand right now. "Caradoc, what are these?"

Caradoc poked his head out of the bathroom and revealed a devilish smile upon seeing what she had in her hands. "These are your brand new breasts, Guinevere, my dear."

Susan looked at the two things in her hands. "I'm pretty sure they aren't."

"As my bimbo wife, you would obviously have had a boob job," He said, walking closer to her. "These are called bra inserts and are your fake boobs."

"How do I even wear these?" She asked, confused.

"Come here, I'll show you."

XxX

"Is he really going to…?" Harry turned to Merlin, looking concerned. The technician didn't reply, because he was looking at the screen with his mouth open.

"How do you even know how this is supposed to be used?" Susan was asking Caradoc.

The agent had his glasses on and the feed was being transmitted to the two men back in HQ. They could see when Caradoc turned Susan towards the mirror, so she was facing it and he stood behind her. Because of the reflection, they could see both of them perfectly.

"I'm a man of many talents and hidden knowledge, darling." Caradoc said, taking the first bra insert from her hand. "This just so happens to be one of them. I went undercover as a stylist in a Miss England contest once. Someone wanted to detonate a bomb that would blow up during the finals. I learned all about these girly things."

"So how do I put them on?"

"I'll help you." He said.

When Caradoc's hand got too close to Susan's chest, Harry and Merlin turned their backs to the screen, both blushing, though they would never admit it.

"It's cold!" Susan complained.

"Oh Lord." Harry sounded mighty disturbed.

"There you go." Caradoc declared, seemingly satisfied.

They turned just in time to see that Susan had turned to Caradoc, adjusting her neckline, and her boobs looked way bigger.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Harry complained, rising from his chair and storming out of the room when Caradoc's hand went to help her.

XxX

"They look so fake." She observed.

Caradoc finished helping her with the blouse. "That's the point. You're my gold-digger bimbo wife. Everything about you is fake: nails, lashes, boobs, nose…"

"My nose?" Her hands automatically went to her nose.

"Nose job a couple of years back," He confirmed. "We're here as a distraction. We're going to be caricatures. I'm the older, rich, superficial man that got to marry a young woman. We drink, you gamble, spend my money, flirt, I fight with you, people watch. That's the idea."

"Well, it's a new one," She sighed. "I hate these clothes. They're uncomfortable."

"They're two sizes smaller. It needs to look like you're trying too hard." Caradoc explained apologetically.

Susan groaned. It was going to be a long mission.

XxX

The plan consisted of Caradoc and Susan staying at the hotel for two days, allowing for guests and staff to get used to their antics. Eggsy and Bors would come on the third day to steal a chip from one of the guests and leave before the fourth day had even started.

As a couple – the Lewis's – followed a certain pattern: gambling, drinking, flirting, fighting.

For Merlin, it was very strange to see Susan through Caradoc's glasses. The glasses always gave the impression you were the one seeing the scene personally. Susan was so… Fake! Her laughter, her words… She was good at pretending and it was showing. Sometimes she would look at Caradoc and say a very fake "dear," or be such a bitch in general…

The clothes were also completely different. Susan refused to wear jeans normally, but everything that Katy Lewis wore was skin tight.

Seeing her like this made him realize how much he appreciated the Susan he saw at HQ: her calm, her grace, her normal voice and laughter.

Merlin looked at Reep, who was obediently parked at his feet. The dog enjoyed spending time with him, but it was obvious that he missed his lady. Merlin kind of did, too.

XxX

Susan ignored the bow and quiver for as long as she could –considering that it had been a bit more than a year, she did well. It wasn't that she didn't miss it; that was exactly the problem. Her hand longed to touch the wood, to pull the string, to let the arrows fly. She had been a hell of an archer back in Narnia. She knew for damn sure she could shoot better than those so-called "athletes" nowadays.

She even shot some arrows with a sportive bow that they had there, but it was weird. She missed her bow and her arrows.

When she could not take it anymore, she got them out of the trunk she had hid them in. Her hands felt the smoothness of the wood, feeling the carvings in it, taking care not to touch the curved blades hidden in the recurves.

She petted Reep's head on her way out –there was no chance of him waking up at five in the morning, not even for his lady –and made her way to the shooting range.

There were two of them in HQ: one was for stationary targets, whereas the other had moving ones. She was feeling a bit reckless, so she went to the moving range.

While in Narnia, Susan had learned how to carry the arrows in her hand while shooting, that way she could be a very fast archer. The bow given to her by Father Christmas was special: it would never miss its target. But practicing was fun.

She spent one hour shooting arrows and attacking the dummies as if they were enemies. When it was over, she was sweating and breathing hard, but she never felt more alive.

"That was impressive."

Susan sighed. "Do you ever sleep?" She turned to find Merlin by the door, as always.

"No, I just connect myself to some outlet and recharge for one hour." He replied dryly.

"I can actually believe that." She stated as she started picking up her arrows.

"That's a very good bow. Where did you get it?" He asked.

"It's mine. It was in the middle of my things."

Merlin was looking at her like he didn't believe it. "You have some secrets, Guinevere."

Yes, he still wouldn't use her name.

"We all do, Merlin." She didn't know his real name.

"I think yours are bigger." He casually remarked.

"So that's it? I have secrets and you're not happy about it?" She asked, a bit of frustration creeping up in her voice. "I like to think I proved myself enough times for everybody here. It seems that for you, it's not enough."

"No, it's not," He determinedly replied. "Not when you go and tell Harry you might disappear, not when you keep yourself somewhat distant from everybody. And especially not when you have a weapon that sure as fuck wasn't listed in the belongings that were kept from the 50's."

Susan took a deep breath, her hands tightening around the grip of her bow. "If that's the case, I guess you and I are fated to never truly get along," She said calmly. "Because all this time, it's been like I have to prove myself to you and I just realized you've never proved yourself to me. Maybe I shouldn't trust you."

"Maybe you shouldn't." He crossed his arms.

"Fine. If that's what you prefer." She nodded curtly and passed by him to leave.

"I would like to trust you." He said, when she was already in the hall.

"You should trust me because of the things you know, Merlin. You should trust I would never conceal anything that would put any of you in danger. Perhaps what I hide hurts me. Maybe that doesn't really matter to you."

She had no time or structure for this now. She had a mission here and, it looked like, very little else.

Notes: Peggy died. Best female character ever! I love Peggy dearly and I am very happy they decided to give Agent Carter another shot.

I had to watch five Youtube tutorials on how to make your boobs look bigger before I found the name "bra inserts". And yes, I did reference "Miss Congeniality" here. Funny, considering that Michael Caine is in both in completely different circumstances...

Bad Merlin! No need to be mean!

I'll try to post very soon on "What if".

Hope you enjoy it!