Carly's P.O.V

Valentine

They lead us inside a new looking building I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open but I was so scared I wouldn't dare close them. Sam was clinging to me and I could sense how scared she was.

After they went through a check in we went to her room she didn't want to let go of me and it broke my heart.

Laura came in with a new lady who she introduced as Novel Harmony she was the charge RN she smiled at us as Sam buried her face into my arm.

They went over a bunch of stuff Spencer was answering question after questions for her all I heard though were Sam's soft whimpers as she held on to me. Wrapping my arms around her all I wanted was to protect her and keep her from ever feeling so alone again.

Sam I understand that you are scared and hurt and you just want to feel

Safe I can see Carly here is the one who makes you feel that way

I want you to know that were not here to hurt you

Sometimes it's easy to confuse the two when your here cause we make you talk about some pretty

Painful stuff which seems cruel when you have already been hurt so bad when you start to feel

Like it's too much I want you to say a code word you can tell Carly she'll be with you every step of the way.

If that's okay with you Sam...

Our approach here at King's County LAUGH is to make each one of our kids to feel like their needs matter for you it means having Carly here for a day or two..

What Does Laugh stand for? Spencer asked sensing that Sam wasn't listening

Love, Acceptance ,Unite, Gainst , Hatred

That's pretty ..

Yes it is Freddie , Sam I'm going to give you some pills one is a sleeping pill to help you relax and one is a anti-depression it's called Effector .

She didn't fight her as she slipped the pills in her mouth handed her some water and waited while she took them checking Sam's mouth to make sure she had swallowed them.

Sam wasn't allowed to have any personal's in her room which means I couldn't either they gave us both a pair of sweat pants and a long sleeved shirt two blankets and two pillows. She seemed worn out so I

Helped her lay down and curled up with her.

Spencer stepped outside with the two ladies as Sam and I laid our heads down our legs entangled.

Carly

Yes babe?

Thanks ...I think I found my word

What is it hun?

Valentine cause I want to have my own someday to call mine..

Someday will be here sooner then you think honey just keep hanging on I'll be here for you always

I kissed her check and pulled the covers up settling with her.

I don't know what was in the drugs they gave her but the pills really knocked her out she just laid there she didn't want to eat or talk she remained curled up in a ball arms around herself as a protective measure.

They didn't leave her alone for anything there was a nurse that stayed in her room during meal times not that it mattered since she didn't eat or drink anyway. They checked her weight every morning and her vitals every hour. I had to force her to even get up and go to the bathroom then I had to pull her pants down and force her to sit but they didn't leave her alone even for that someone stood at her door watching. It was humiliating even for me to know she was being watched like that but I also understood they were afraid she would hurt herself. I was getting more and more worried every minute what could I do to get through to her?

The second day we were there her new therapist came in she was in her mid 30's dressed in a dark Grey suit with a light pink blouse. She had long blond hair stripped pink, purple and blue she had green eyes so pure they were like ivy. She shock our hands and introduced herself as Dr. Stephanie Meyers I liked her approach right away she sat on the bed with Sam placing her hand on Sam's side she didn't turn to face Steph [as she asked us to call her] only curled up tighter . Her voice was gentle but firm as she spoke to Sam.

I understand a lot of what you are going through Sam I know it's hard to trust when you have been so hurt already but I want you to know that your safe here no one will judge you or hurt you.

We love you for who you are..

Sam said nothing her eyes never left the wall she had been staring at for the last day and a half. Which didn't seem to faze Steph she just kept talking but I barely heard her all I heard was my own voice screaming crowd, chicken, loser, how could you let Sam go through this knowing you have just as many issues?

Sam apart of acceptance is finding the confidence to love yourself instead of saying your a bad kid or

That your unloved try to say to yourself ..

I am worthy of love I am special I'm not a bad kid

Don't believe other people when they tell you that being gay is a sin and that your sinning

I get that your sad and feel hopeless but there is hope people will love you for who you are

I'm here to help you see this I know it will take time and I can wait for you I believe you are special and I can't wait to get to know you..I'm going to let to you rest for now but I will be back later today to check on you.

Novel came in to check her vitals so I walked with Steph into the hall which was quiet for a mid day hour. Steph shock my hand I noticed how pretty she was clear smooth skin which made her eyes pop out she had a glittery nose ring on her left side and 6 earnings in each ear. She was also tall and slender but you could tell she worked out ..why was I noticing all this? Focus Carly stop lusting after Sam's therapist you sick kid. I swallowed before asking.

Will she be okay? I have never seen her so …

Unresponsive? That the word your looking for?

Yea that will work

It's the drugs we always give them a heavy does the first day or two it calms them down so they don't freak out the first few days are the hardest and we want to keep the kids calm so they don't harm themselves or have a complete breakdown. In a day or so we will start to ease the dosage so she starts to come back to earth you'll see the Sam you know well sort of she's facing some major struggles ahead she may be quieter and more isolated but that's why were here to help her through this depression and get her back to being healthier.

How long can I stay for?

A few days but she'll need to do this on her own without any clutches Sam's been depressed for a long period of time that much is blatantly obvious so it won't be easy but we can get her healthy again.

Hang in there Carly I know this is hard on you as well and I encourage you to attend sessions with Sam weekly to help get your feelings out there she needs to see what this is doing to the people who love her and she needs to know people do love her.

Were start her on a mild anti-depression and judge her need for a dosage she will attend a session with me at least once a day more if she feels the need plus we have group sessions every day at ten am and 5pm she will be on set meal times if she doesn't eat she will lose privileges like visiting , TV time, phone time, relaxation time or time with friends if she meets any here which she prob will.

When will she get those privileges? She seems confined to her room?

As soon as she starts to eat and speak as long as she corporates she'll get privileges we will encourage

That you stay away for at least a week once you leave just so she has time to settle in so I am going to ask you not to call or text her. I will call you and Spencer as soon as it's safe.

The part I was dreading leaving her. I swallowed fighting off tears she pulled me into a hug and held me as the damn exploded.

It's for her own good Carly I know it hurts but we are trying to save her life.

I know I just hate for her to be so sad

So do I and you have my personal word I will not stop fighting for Sam ever...

I believe you thank you just please make sure she knows I love her

I will Carly

When Sam was asleep I sneaked away to the computer room and checked which was blowing up full of debates over this most were in utter shock that Sam would do this and were wishing her the best a few were down right rude and it brought tears to my eyes to see comments like ..

Juliaisthechiz: You stupid b...h why did you save that h..she should of blown her head off Die Dyke Die!

How was she even back I reported her I know I did! I was burning mad but she wasn't the only comment that was uncalled for there were many more too many more to even count my head was spinning how could people be so cold? So rude? What did little kids think when they read these comments? For every mean comment though there were plenty that were encouraging. Quite a few fans wrote blogs on Sam so I printed them out so I could read them to her.

Later in the room I laid beside her and held her brushing her hair back and reading to her Jamie's latest blog.

Unicorns Are Free

So today I wanted to write about someone who has a profound impact on my life. Her name. yes I know a girl I bet no one ever thought they would see or hear me say that huh?

Shocker the gay kid likes a girl...get over it you small minded freaks...No this is not some big Epiphany I'm not turning straight. All I'm saying is that this person has given me inspiration and hope to stand tall and be proud of who I am.

She has taught me that you shouldn't judge someone on the outside you should look deep inside , she taught me that I have nothing to be ashamed of , she taught me that as hard as life can be there's always a reason to smile and laugh that we all make our own destiny's we are in charge of our lives and we are the ones who have to stand tall and be proud of who we are and others will follow our examples and if they don't screw them .

Who is she? You know her I know you do she's loud she's obnoxious she's tough and bold she's colorful she doesn't take Chiz from anyone grownups included. Her name's Sam Puckett and she's 1/3 of iCarly .

It's because of her I found the guts to go after my dreams even though it means putting up with tons of harassment and bullying everyday..Do you have any idea what it's like to walk down your school hallway and hear the words " Queer" Fag" Die Homo die" everyday? Well I do it's hell complete and utter hell.

I can't figure out why it's always me that is the butt of every joke just because I am the only openly gay student what gives these twits the right to go after me?

I'm just like every other teen age boy out there ya know?

I want the same things everyone else wants "I wish I could be happy, I try, I try, I try ... I just want to feel special to someone, I want love maybe not right now. I mean yea I'm only 15! I'm not ready to get married and have babies yet but someday ya know someday. I just want the same rights as everyone else why is that so hard?

Sam she kind of made me feel it was possible she is smart , funny she's popular and people love her and she is as out and proud as anyone could ever get..she wears shirts to shout it everyday her last one was her too cute to be straight shirt ,she dyed her hair to symbolize the gay flag colors she didn't let anyone tell her that she should be ashamed or make her feel afraid she stood up for her belief .

Sam was changing the world ...then the day came I never thought could happen they broke her I know it's impossible to believe that the great Sam Puckett could be broken but even super hero's can be taken down.

Sam reminds me of one of those mythical creatures she's wild and unpredictable she's strong and she is a rainbow of many blazing colors she tears through the night ..she's just as beautiful and strong as a unicorn . Why can't we just let them run free here? Why do they feel the need to go far away? To a far more beautiful place? Why can't we make them feel at home here? Why can't we make Earth a more beautiful place maybe these creatures would find a reason to stay.

Sam if you are reading this please don't give up we need your light down here you are our leader Run free down here wild unicorn ..

Paws up Jamie H

I looked at Sam as I was reading it and I finally saw that light come back into her eyes she sat up curling by me. I could feel her hot salty breath as it hit my check. Her arms slowly untangled themselves from around her placing them around my waist as she laid her head down on my shoulder.

My eyes scanned her whole body up and down she looked so beautiful even without makeup without her hair combed she was just stunning to me her eyes held such depth, I felt myself welling up I would be so lucky if I could land her as a girlfriend but Sam wasn't in love with me. I wasn't that lucky laying

My head down on top of her head I breathed in her scent sweet and saucy just like her.

Sam ..

Yea Carly?

I ..

Carly what's wrong?

I looked down I couldn't tell her she had so many issues of her own but I wanted to so bad. It was eating me alive I had been holding it in for so long.

Carly I know something is bothering you what is it?

Sam you know that your my best friend right?

Always..your mine to babe why?

Would you consider...

I chewed my lip closing my eyes now or never..

Would you consider being more?

What are you saying?

I leaned in and without even thinking about it I kissed her straight on her lips.

She was shocked as she laid back staring at me.

Valentine?

Forever babe..if you'll have me...

She grinned and pulled me down to her holding her. It was the sweetest place I could ever be.