Title: Mistakes
Chapter 12
=/\=
September 3, 2154 (BTP)
Hoshi sat in the co-pilot chair, completely exhausted, but a different kind of exhaustion then the one she had become so accustomed to. This exhaustion wasn't the result of pain and lack of sleep. This was from using her muscles and trekking through territory. Hoshi smiled slightly; she didn't mind the feeling. It was comforting somehow. Really, since she had gotten down to the planet she had felt better than she had in weeks. Hoshi couldn't imagine why. It looked like it was nothing more than an old waste dump, not that Hoshi was complaining. She brushed off her sleeves and pulled a piece of bark… or something, out of her hair. Despite how agreeable the little adventure had been, Hoshi was definitely ready for a shower.
"I can't wait to get back," she said.
Trip smiled. "Two days ago, you couldn't wait to get off the ship."
She hadn't known it had been that obvious. After what Evan had told her, the ship had seemed very claustrophobic. She had jumped at the opportunity to leave, but was less excited when she had found out who her partner would be. She had been afraid that somehow he would know, or maybe even find out. But after the first couple of hours, Hoshi saw that it was ridiculous to think that. Maybe Evan was right. Maybe this would all just go away on its own. Like he said, Terra Prime hadn't even figured out how to do what they were planning yet. Maybe everything would be okay.
"Sifting through a Klingon garbage dump? Not my idea of exploring strange new worlds."
"Getting tired of exploration, Ensign? All the planets starting to look alike?"
"Not a chance, sir." Not in a million years. After everything that had happened, it had become clear to Hoshi that this was what she wanted to do.
Trip smiled at the remark, and Hoshi was sure that he felt about the same way. "I didn't think so." Trip coughed harshly into his hand. "I feel like I'm still breathing dirt," he remarked off-handedly while he pushed the button on the comm. system. "Shuttlepod One to Enterprise."
Archer answered back over the comm. Hoshi could hear a smile in his voice. "Welcome back. How did your treasure hunt turn out?"
"Well, nothing worth bringing home. The Klingons must've been here years ago. All they left was an old power cell and a bunch of empty ration packs."
"And a latrine," Hoshi added.
"Yeah. A long, hot shower is looking pretty good," Trip said, mirroring Hoshi's previous thoughts. "Shuttlepod One out."
As soon as the communiqué was cut off, Trip started coughing violently, immediately causing a knot of worry to form in Hoshi's stomach. "Trip? What's wrong?!"
"Take over," he commanded, still coughing as he got out of the pilot's seat. Hoshi promptly took his place, then looked back at Trip, unsure what to do. "Gotta dock," he prompted her, gasping as he forced air into his lunges between the intense bouts of coughing. He got almost to the back of the shuttlepod, when he collapsed. Although Hoshi was glad he was no longer coughing, she couldn't say she was any more comfortable with him wheezing weakly on the floor.
"Shuttlepod One to Enterprise." Hoshi could hear a tremble in her voice. "I have a medical emergency. Commander Tucker's collapsed."
"Can you bring the shuttlepod in?" the Captain asked calmly.
"Yes, sir," Hoshi replied, not completely confident in her answer, "at least in simulations."
"Slow and steady, Ensign," he assured her. "I'll see you in Decon."
Hoshi nodded her head even though she knew no one could see her. "Understood."
=/\=
Present - On Enterprise December 28, 2155 (ATP)
Malcolm was a naturally light sleeper, so when he woke up to Hoshi shrieking, he was completely aware as soon as he opened his eyes.
He flipped on the bed lamp and glanced quickly around the room, looking for what had terrified her so thoroughly. It was then that he realized she was asleep.
He took her by the shoulders, trying gently to wake her. "Hoshi…" he called.
"No… no, no. Please let me go," she cried, while writhing away from her imaginary captors.
He shook her gently. "Hoshi, it's all right."
That seemed to wake her up. Hoshi shot straight up as she opened her eyes, her hands grasping frantically at the two little scars on either side of her head. She was still crying. "There in my head…" she cried frantically. "I can't…Ican'tIcan't…" she babbled on.
Malcolm grabbed her wrists. "Hoshi," he shouted, "you're on Enterprise." She stopped struggling and seemed to finally get her bearings. "You're all right," he said gently as he pulled her to his chest and stroked her back soothingly. "It's all right," he repeated. Hoshi stayed wrapped in his embrace until her breathing was back to normal.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, wiping at her eyes. "I'm sorry I woke you."
"Don't be." He ran his hands over her hair, smoothing it down the sides of her face. He was surprised by how wet it was. Sweat. He took her hand in his. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Hoshi thought about it for a moment, then shook her head. "No," she said softly.
Malcolm nodded. "All right."
Hoshi let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." Hoshi leaned forward and kissed him. "I feel safe with you." She kissed him again.
Malcolm smiled. "Try to go back to sleep." She lay down again and Malcolm wrapped his arms around her, holding her against his chest. "I'll be here."
He felt Hoshi nod her head against him. After a while her breathing slowed, and only when he was sure she was asleep did he let his own heavy eyes fall closed.
=/\=
September 3, 2154 (BTP)
As soon as they had landed, Hoshi was at Trip's side. He was still breathing, but it was a wheeze more than anything else. Luckily, it was only moments before he woke up. Hoshi, eager to get him to the watchful eye of Dr. Phlox, put his arm over her shoulder and hoisted him up.
"Hoshi, I'm fine," he protested weakly. Hoshi didn't say anything; instead she led him to Decon and sat him down on one of the benches.
Captain Archer was already there on the other side of the glass. "Trip, how are you feeling?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.
"Like I've been gut-punched by a Tellarite," Trip responded, his voice still weak but strong enough to convey a hint of humor.
"Doctor, should we start with the bio-gel?" Hoshi asked hurriedly.
Phlox shook his head. "Not until we know what we're dealing with. Three other landing parties returned from the surface with no ill effects."
"We need to check out the shuttlepod, too. See if any of its environmental systems were at fault," the Captain added
"I can do that, Captain," Trip said, but before he could get up, Hoshi gently pushed him back down onto the seat. "I should've thought of that myself."
"Stay where you are, Trip. Phlox needs blood samples."
"Here are the medkits," Phlox said as he pushed the small cases through the chamber wall. Hoshi got up to get them; however, before she reached the wall, she coughed hard into her hand. A surge of fear welled up inside her. Whatever was affecting Trip was affecting her too.
The Captain seemed to sense her discomfort. "Hoshi, what is it?"
"Before Commander Tucker passed out, he started coughing."
"Are you feeling any other symptoms?" Phlox asked gently.
Before Hoshi could respond, her stomach clenched painfully. She darted to the waste facilities, barely making it in time.
"I'm going to guess that's a yes," Trip said flatly, obviously not looking forward to what was inevitably to come.
"I'll prepare anti-nausea medication. You get me those blood samples as soon as you can," Phlox said gently.
As soon as he had left, Trip was next to Hoshi. "You okay?"
Hoshi nodded her head. "Yeah, it's okay. I think it was a onetime thing."
Trip helped her up and they went back to the main decon room. "Ugh, this sucks," she said, "All I wanted was a shower."
Trip laughed. "Yeah, somehow I don't see that happening in the near future."
Hoshi was about to say something else when she saw T'Pol at the observation window. She pointed in her direction and Trip turned around. Hoshi noticed that T'Pol had a strange look on her face. It wasn't something she could place.
"I've come to see how your condition is progressing."
Trip's entire demeanor changed almost instantly, his shoulders straightened and he cleared his throat. "We're okay, T'Pol," he said gently, like he was trying to convince her. He took a step towards the window and Hoshi noticed that both of them seemed to be talking directly to one another, like there was no one else in the room. "Don't worry so much."
"Vulcan's do not worry," T'Pol replied quickly. "I was simply concerned, I'll stay advised of your condition as I'm helping Phlox with research. If you or Ensign Sato requires anything, don't hesitate to ask."
Trip smiled. "I'm sure you and Phlox will have us out of here in no time." T'Pol nodded, she seemed like she was about to say something else but turned around and left. As soon as she was gone, Trip sat down heavily on the bench beside him.
"Are you all right?" Hoshi asked.
"Yeah." Trip nodded. "I just hope Phlox hurries up with that anti-nausea medicine." Hoshi nodded in agreement then fixed her gaze on the floor.
This wasn't good.
=/\=
Present - On Enterprise December 29, 2155 (ATP)
"Malcolm, can you hand me that?" Trip asked, pointing to the scanner. When he didn't get an answer, he turned around. Malcolm hadn't seemed to hear him and was still picking through the wires of the power coupling, looking for whatever was causing the short in the phase cannons. "Malcolm…" He still didn't get a response. He tapped his friend's shoulder. "Mal..."
That got his attention. "I'm sorry, Commander. What was it?"
Trip gave him a weird look. "Can you hand me that?"
Malcolm nodded his head and gave the scanner to Trip. Trip finished what he was doing then turned back to Malcolm. "Hey, are you all right?" Trip asked.
"I'm fine."
Trip had learned a long time ago that if Malcolm didn't want to talk about something, then they weren't going to have a conversation about it. Trip decided to just let it go when Malcolm seemed to change his mind. "Can I ask you a personal question?"
Trip grinned. "I've never been all that modest. Shoot."
"When we were in the Expanse, you frequently had… unpleasant dreams…" Trip's smile faded, but he nodded his head. "How did you deal with them?"
Trip shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really know. For a while I was getting Phlox's help, you know. But obviously that wasn't a permanent solution. Then T'Pol offered to help me out. At first, I really objected to the idea, but it really helped a lot to have someone to talk to, even though sometimes I didn't want to."
"But eventually they went away?"
"Yeah… well for the most part. I still have them every once in a while, but they're not as bad. Unless something stirs something up, you know?"
Malcolm nodded his head thoughtfully.
Trip's brow furrowed together. "Are you sure you're all right? Are you having dreams?"
"No, I don't dream anymore." Malcolm went back at looking though wires.
"Ever?" Trip asked in disbelief.
Malcolm paused. "Never."
"That's weird."
"I think it's rather peaceful."
"Did you dream when you were little?"
"Of course," Malcolm laughed, "Who doesn't?"
"So one day you just stopped dreaming?"
"Something like that."
"How long ago?"
Malcolm shrugged his shoulders, "Sometime before I was assigned to Enterprise."
"Huh."
Malcolm found the problem wire and yanked it. He looked at the clock. "I'm going to get another one of these," he said, holding up the damaged wire.
Trip nodded his head. "Well, I'm done with this, so I'll see you later, all right?" Malcolm nodded his head and left.
Trip wiped off his hands and gathered up his tools. Even though Malcolm's lack of dreams was weird, Trip wasn't really surprised. Malcolm had some things about him that were just a little strange. Trip shook his head; it seemed like kind of a loss though. Trip was sure that if Malcolm did dream, they would be very interesting.
=/\=
September 3, 2154 (BTP)
When Hoshi woke up Trip was still sitting on the bench next to her. However, he didn't look half as good as he had when she had gone to sleep. His face was much paler than it was an hour ago and looked slick with sweat. Hoshi reached up to touch her own face and found that it was damp as well. She wasn't surprised; she could feel the fever in her bones. It made just sitting uncomfortable, and she was freezing cold and burning up at the same time. She pulled the blanket more tightly around herself.
"Do we know anything else?" she asked, surprised by how soft her voice sounded.
Trip seemed startled, apparently unaware that she had woken up. "Yeah, but Phlox and T'Pol are working on it so it's nothing to worry about," he said a bit too cheerfully.
"Okay, but what do we know?"
Trip looked like he was debating whether or not he should tell her.
"Trip…"
"It's silicon based."
Hoshi felt her gut twist up again, but quickly realized it had nothing to do with whatever they had. "Oh."
Neither of them said anything for some time. But then Trip spoke up, eager to change the subject. "How many languages can you speak?"
Hoshi, immediately realized the point of the random question, but she had also figured out a long time ago that Trip was most comfortable when he felt that he could help people through a problem. Something Hoshi was sure he valued far beyond his skill with the most advanced engines from earth was his crew's morale. Not one of the people in his department was unhappy with their job, and Hoshi was sure that it was due in no small part to Trip's ability to make people happy. It made him happy to make people happy, so Hoshi went along. "That's not how it works. There are a lot of common patterns. I'm just good at hearing them, that's all."
"Good? You're a genius. The way you can pick up an alien language you've never heard before and start spouting it back to them. I got to tell you, I've always been jealous you can do that."
Hoshi blushed slightly. "I wish I could fix warp engines with duct tape and a pocket knife."
"It's a bit more complicated than that…sometimes."
Hoshi laughed. "Seriously, engineering…building things, have you always been good at that?"
"When I was a kid, not so good at building. But I was a terror when it came to taking things apart. My folks used to put all our kitchen appliances on the highest shelves." Hoshi could see he was far away by this point and she smiled. "One Thanksgiving, I have no idea what I was thinking, but I removed every screw from this big dining room table we had. It was so old, the wood sort of stuck together, so it stayed standing until my dad put the turkey down. I spent the next month in my room."
"How old were you?"
Trip grinned. "Oh, twenty-four, twenty-five."
Hoshi was about to say something back when she noticed Phlox and T'Pol looking at them through the observation glass.
Trip turned around to see what she was looking at. "How long have they been there?"
"We didn't see you there," Hoshi said awkwardly.
"We didn't want to interrupt you," Phlox said lightly.
"How's the research coming?" Trip asked, unsure of what they wanted.
"We're waiting on new test results," T'Pol answered hurriedly.
"We thought we'd see how you two were progressing."
Hoshi gave Phlox a strange look. 'Progressing' didn't seem like the best way of describing what was happening. Trip seemed a bit irritated by their attitudes, too.
"You're the ones with the medical scanners."
"We were more interested in discussing your state of mind," Phlox said mildly.
Trip's face now mirrored Hoshi's look of confusion. "Look, if you really want to know how we feel, we'd be a lot better knowing you two were back in Sickbay working on the cure for this."
"Of course," T'Pol replied. "We're going there now."
Phlox seemed to agree. "Commander," he said, nodding in goodbye," Ensign."
The two of them walked off, leaving Hoshi with an uneasy feeling. "They both came to see us.
Maybe that means they're almost finished," she said, trying to flip the feeling into a positive.
"Yeah, unless there's nothing more they can do." As soon as the words left his mouth, Trip clamped his lips shut tight. "I'm sorry I didn't mean that."
Hoshi shook her head. "No, it's okay. They did seem kind of weird though, didn't they?"
"Yeah, it was almost like we were specimens in an…"
"…experiment," Hoshi finished with him, nodding her head in agreement.
"Exactly. To tell you the truth, it was kind of pissing me off."
Hoshi laughed. "Well you know, they're both scientists. Maybe it's best if they look at this whole thing from a scientific point of view. Whatever helps them figure it out faster, you know?"
"Yeah, you're right." Trip moved his neck from side to side.
"Is your neck stiff," Hoshi asked.
Trip just nodded.
"Yeah, mine too. I think I'm going to take another dose of the meds Phlox left for us."
Trip nodded again.
The thing that was most clear about their situation so far was that Hoshi hadn't felt any of her normal symptoms. No headaches at all. It was kind of hard to tell because every other part of her body ached, but it was different than the way she usually felt. Maybe there had been something on the planet that had caused this; she would have to tell Phlox when she got out of here, if she got out of here.
She shook away the thought, went over to where they had left the hypos and picked up two cartridges. She loaded it and pressed it against Trip's neck then refilled it and did the same for herself.
"You're good at that," Trip commented.
"Practice…"
"What's that mean?"
Hoshi shook her head. "Nothing. We should probably try to sleep some more."
Trip nodded his head but didn't really move. Hoshi lay back on the bench and fell asleep almost as soon as she was down.
=/\=
Present - On Enterprise December 31, 2155 (ATP)
Trip pressed the points in T'Pol's back just below her ribs. Their neuropressure sessions were one of Trip's favorite ways to spend time with T'Pol. No matter how stressful either one of their days had been, they both ended up being completely relaxed by the end of it. Trip moved down to the next point. He loved the way her warm body felt against his relatively cool one. When he was finished, they switched spots so that she could start on him. Before she could start though, Trip rolled over, facing her.
"What is it?" she asked gently.
Trip took her hand. "I need you to tell me."
Trip could see the muscles in her body stiffen. "I don't understand."
Trip smiled knowingly and stroked her hand. "Whatever you haven't been telling me ever since you got back."
T'Pol looked away.
"Please, T'Pol, I don't want secrets between us."
T'Pol got up and sat on the edge of the bed. "I have to go back to Vulcan in four months."
Trip's eyebrows pinched together. "Well, why didn't you just tell me that?"
"I will be gone for six months."
It immediately felt like Trip had been punched in the gut. "Six months?" He got up and joined T'Pol on the edge of the bed. "God, T'Pol…why?"
"Please do not be angry with me. It is out of my control."
"I'm not angry. I just…I guess I don't understand."
T'Pol turned back around to face him. "I still have an obligation to fulfill on Vulcan. Every seven years all operatives are recalled to Vulcan for training."
"Operatives?" Trip asked, then his eyes went wide. "You're still part of the Security Directorate?"
T'Pol didn't say anything, which sufficiently answered Trip's question.
"Why?" he demanded. His eyes narrowed as his thought spiraled out of control. "Have you been reporting to them this entire time?"
T'Pol grabbed his hand, seeing where this was taking him. "No. No, I am loyal to this ship; no one else."
Trip's voice softened. "Then why?"
"I'm not permitted to leave. Once I was commissioned, I made a promise that I would not leave until a determined time. If I do, I will be tried for treason. I have no choice in the matter. You must understand."
Trip nodded his head and reached out to her as he reclined back against the bed. "Come lay down." T'Pol hesitantly lay next to Trip. "If this is going to work out, we can't keep things from each other. We'll get through this. Just like everything else."
"I was going to tell you. I just wasn't sure when would be the right time."
Trip took her by the chin. "T'Pol, there isn't anything you could say that could make me stop loving you," he assured her gently, addressing her unspoken fear. They both lay quietly in each other's arms, Trip gently rubbing her back.
"I do not want to leave you, ashel'veh," T'Pol said quietly.
"I don't want you to go," Trip sighed. "We'll figure something out, T'Pol. Don't worry."
=/\=
September 3, 2154 (BTP)
When Hoshi woke up, she felt like she was moving through water. Not only that, she wasn't completely sure where she was, but Trip was here.
Poor Trip, did he know what she had done to him? What if he did? Trip had always been like a brother to her. When she had first come aboard, he had introduced her to everyone, tried to make her feel welcome, comfortable. He had always done what he could to protect her and look out for her. He was one of the first true friends she had made on board the ship and the first one who had made her feel like family. What kind of person was she that she would hurt him like this? Who would do something like this to someone who had given them so much?
Hoshi suddenly couldn't bear to be in the same room as him. "Tengo que irme. Lo siento mucho por lo que he hecho." Hoshi started pushing buttons on the lockout console, mentally going through the patterns in her head.
"Hoshi, we're in quarantine for a reason."
"Itsumo ani arisoo arumnoni, arigirute shimaimashita."
"I have no idea what you're saying, but you can't break the lockout code."
"Math is just another language."
The red light on the console went green and the klaxon sounded around her.
She knew what she would do. She would end this so that he didn't have to. So by the time he understood, she would be gone. She would save him the pain of having to do it himself. This was what she had to do.
Trip followed after her as she went down the corridor. "Hoshi come back."
"Chansu ga aru, oshinai nakeraba arimasen."
Trip looked at her in confusion.
"Que te di y el ADN T'Pol a una organización terrorista. Van a matar a un bebé." Trip didn't respond at all. His confused expression remained the same. How could he not understand? She had told him everything. Where was the anger, the outrage at being betrayed? Where was the hate?
She went to the last door in the corridor and started working on the lock-out code.
"Hoshi, you have to stop. That's an airlock. You open those doors, we die."
"Kaete kudasai," She shouted in warning, urging him to leave her.
Trip took her by the shoulders. "Hoshi, come on." Hoshi fought against his grip, but was too weak to push him off her. She didn't understand why he was still protecting her. She didn't deserve this.
Hoshi burst into tears. "I need to tell them while there's still time."
"The Captain won't let us down," he soothed still seemingly oblivious to what she had just told him. He guided her back to the Decon chamber and she sat down heavily on the bench, still crying.
"Trip to whoever's out there. We're back."
"I'm so sorry," Hoshi sobbed.
Trip sat down next to her and pulled her to his chest like he had done with Elizabeth when she was upset. "It's okay, Hoshi," he soothed. "Everything's all right." She murmured apologies and he assurances until Trip saw another hypo being slid through to the Decon chamber.
"Commander, I want you to set your hypospray for three units of sonambutril," Phlox requested through the comm. system.
"That could drop a horse," Trip protested.
"We can't risk Hoshi wandering off again," the Captain chimed in, "especially since it seems she can override every security safeguard on Enterprise."
"Yeah, she's full of surprises today," Trip mumbled. He set the hypospray and injected an already very drowsy Hoshi with it. The reaction was instantaneous. She slumped on the bed and Trip gently covered her with a blanket. "Sweet dreams, Houdini. Anything else?" he added tiredly.
"It's your turn, Trip"
"Come on, Captain." The only thing Trip hated more than deserts was being sedated.
"Commander, the virus is incompatible with carbon-based life. It's attacking your bodies in ways I can't predict," Phlox explained.
"You think I'm going to wander off, too?" Trip protested. "Start opening the wrong doors?"
"Not if you're sedated."
"Sorry, Trip," Archer agreed.
Reluctantly Trip held the hypo to his neck. He paused just before injecting himself.
"Commander?" Phlox asked, assuming the man was in need of further convincing.
"I'm just wondering if either one of us will ever wake up again." He injected himself with the hypo and almost immediately felt the effects.
"You should lie down right away," Phlox advised.
The room began to tilt. "I won't argue with that." He sat heavily on the empty bench and plopped onto his side. He couldn't think of a time in his life he had been out quicker.
=/\=
September 4, 2154 (BTP)
The first thing Hoshi felt when she woke up was a stab of panic. The only thing that kept her from jumping out of bed was a strong hand on her shoulder.
"Hoshi calm down. You're all right." She turned to face the voice that had been addressing her.
"Malcolm, what are you doing here? You'll get contaminated," she said hurriedly.
Malcolm just shook his head. "No, you're fine. Everything's all right now."
Hoshi took a deep breath and settled back onto the bed. "Oh." Malcolm sat silently next to her. "Why are you here?" she asked suddenly.
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Malcolm smiled. "Of course I can leave if you prefer."
Hoshi grabbed his hand. "No, stay…please."
Malcolm resettled in his chair. "All right, but only for a bit. I'm afraid Phlox will make my life rather unpleasant if I keep you from sleep for long."
Hoshi smiled tiredly. "Okay."
"You know, I never knew you were such a lock pick. That could have been a rather handy skill on a number of missions."
Hoshi looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"
Malcolm laughed lightly. "You don't remember? You overrode three different lockout mechanisms."
Hoshi's eye's shot open. "What?!"
Malcolm just nodded his head. "Oh. So not even you knew about your hidden talent?"
Hoshi paused for a moment. "Well obviously I never thought about it, but I suppose if I really wanted to it wouldn't be that hard."
"And obviously that's a problem. Although I highly doubt there's anyone in the quadrant that's as completely brilliant as you, I would appreciate it if you were to help me recalibrate them, just in case." Hoshi smiled and nodded her head. "Of course, not until you're fully recovered," Malcolm added.
Hoshi smiled again, something she couldn't seem to stop doing around Malcolm. "I'm fine, Malcolm, don't worry so much."
Malcolm lowered his voice and his face became serious. "And your headaches?"
Hoshi smiled brightly, eager to tell someone the good news. "I don't think I've had one for four days."
Malcolm squeezed her hand. "That's wonderful, Hoshi; perhaps the infection did something to counteract your condition."
Hoshi smiled again, then yawned widely. "Geez, it seems like I've been sleeping for days. Why am I still tired?"
Malcolm pulled his hand from her grasp. "Well, Phlox's constant staring is making me a bit uneasy. I suppose I should leave you to get some rest now." Hoshi nodded her head in agreement. "I'll come back before dinner," Malcolm assured her.
Hoshi loved the sound of his voice, she thought as she heard him walk away.
As far as almost dying went, Hoshi had to admit this time hadn't been that bad. She assumed the majority of that feeling was rooted in the fact that she could remember almost nothing about the ordeal, but the lack of headaches was also a giant plus.
The bed she was lying on was really comfortable, or maybe she was just really tired. Whatever the case, sleep came easily and before she knew it Hoshi had drifted off.
=/\=
TBC