Come Fly With Me

A/N: "I'll be seeing you" by the beautiful Billie Holiday.

I'll Be Seeing You

Chapter 12

She could hear her blood pounding in her ears, but she kept her face passive. "Sorry?"

He repeated the question.

She answered with a careful casualness. "Nothing exciting. I'll go home, throw something into a pot or pan, and catch up on some reading."

"Sounds invigorating."

"Why?"

"It was a joke Granger."

"No, why did you ask?"

He paused. "I know a place."

"A place?"

"A great place. To eat."

"Where?"

"Regent's Park."

"Regent's Park?"

"At the fountain in Queen Mary's Gardens. There's a wizards restaurant there, hidden from the muggles."

"…are you asking me on a date?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"If you want to be asked or not."

Now she could feel her blood rising to her cheeks. Hermione couldn't think. She could look at him, no longer sitting at his desk, but standing, facing her. She had been facing the door, ready to leave, but at some point she had turned around. His eyes looked sombre, and he was standing very still, hardly moving. This wasn't a joke. She needed time to think, but she could barely process anything in this moment.

"You are my assistant." She offered lamely.

"Not anymore. I quit."

"Malfoy!"

"I took the job because it was something to do. You don't need an assistant. I'm ready to get a real job, something that would actually be challenging, no offence."

"None taken." She breathed.

"So, I quit. Today's my last day. Is that going to create a problem for you?"

"No, I suppose not."

"Alright then. So, I'll be gone after lunch. I came in early this morning as it happens."

Had that been his plan all along?

"Do you want to have dinner with me, or not?"

"Yes." She answered without hesitation this time.

He smirked. "I thought so. I'll pick you up at seven."

"I can get to Regent's Park on my own."

"I'll pick you up at seven."

Stubborn git. "Fine, I'll be ready then."

She swept through the door, suddenly annoyed by his haughtiness. Where had it come from?

Instead of going to the cafeteria, Hermione took a left down a hall that led to staff floo stations. St. Mungo's had set up a confidential floo network for its employees, each station equipped with a silencing spell so that anyone using the floor network for direct communication could be given privacy. And thank Merlin for that, Hermione thought as she stepped into a station, enunciating Ginny Weasley's London address and tossing in a handful of floo powder.

"Ginny, are you in?" Hermione called out, her eyes catching an empty apartment.

Hermione heard a rustling sound seconds before Ginny Weasley came into view. "'lo?"

"Gin."

Ginny squinted at the head in her living room fireplace. "Hermione?"

"How's the baby?"

Ginny nicked a pillow from her couch and sat in front of the fireplace, getting comfortable. "Still in there. I'm completely shattered, and was about to take a nap. What's cracking?"

"Draco Malfoy just asked me to dinner."

"He asked you to dinner!"

"And he just quit his job as my assistant."

"He asked you to dinner!"

"Yes, tonight. And I'm going completely mental here."

"He's fancies you."

"Gin, I said yes."

"Malfoy fancies you!"

"Ginevra, I said YES."

"'Moine, you fancy him back!"

"I've lost my marbles."

"Oh tosh, there's nothing wrong with dating him. He's yummy."

"Gin, your hormones are talking again."

"So, tonight? What are you going to wear?"

"Oh I don't know. That's the least of my concerns right now…"

"How about that sexy black strappy dress you bought that time in Calais?"

"Gin, that's not happening."

"…Listen 'Moine. I am weeks away from giving birth and my sex life is bugger all." For emphasis Ginny gestured to her bulging abdomen. "Right now, I need to live through you! I need you to wear something sexy, and I need you to go and get the action that I am unable to. I need this."

"You're as mad as a hatter if you think I'm sleeping with him."

"Just wear the chiffon wrap dress from Calais and you'll be giving the right message."

"Yes, I think I will. But that's not the point. The point is I'm not even sure I want to do this."

"Okay, and why not?"

"He's kind of…arrogant."

"Really? I thought you said he'd changed."

"He has….but something in the way he asked me, he was so self-sure I wanted to go, and he insisted on picking me up, and I don't know, I just feel that old self of his under the surface."

"Well remember, all Malfoys have that haughtiness about them. It's in his nature. If you can stomach it, I'm sure it's not as bad as his parents were. Maybe he was doing it unconsciously."

"I think he was." Which was what bothered her the most. It was in his nature. "Well…I'll give him a go."

"Damn right you will! He's a fit bloke."

"I'll be going now."

"Spare no details tomorrow morning when I floo you!"

oOo

True to his word, Draco was not there when she returned from work. Hermione was frazzled, but managed to continue her work and tend to patients before it was time to leave.

Back at her flat she tried on the rose pink chiffon wrap dress. November had become surprisingly tepid compared to October's chill, so she felt she could get away with the dress and her light long fall coat. Hermione refused to put too much effort in her look. Her loose curls were tamed, thanks to Curly Witches styling shampoo, and with a bit of mascara and pink lippy it was good enough. She wanted to slip on ballerinas but could hear Ginny cursing her from miles away, so instead she decided on black strappy heels.

Luna was off gallivanting with Neville, so Hermione was quite alone when at 6:59 her doorbell rang.

She opened it and there stood the man of the hour. He wearing black slacks and a fitted charcoal dress shirt with white cuffs and collar. He was carrying his brown leather jacket over his arm. He looked casual formal, a perfect balance she knew came with the elegance of his family.

"Draco, do come in." She opened the door completely to allow him passage.

He strolled through the doors, taking in the familiar scenery of her flat. It seemed bigger now, without all the Gryffindors in it.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

"I'll just grab my bag. Would you like a bit of wine first?" She indicated the bottle and glasses that sat on her counter.

This was the first time a man had picked her up from her flat on a first date (with Ron and Keeve she had met them at the restaurant). Hermione hadn't been sure if she was supposed to offer him anything before they set off. One website on WizardSeeker mentioned offering wine, so she went with it.

"I'll pour, you get your purse." He responded.

When she came back from her room, he was sipping the Barolo. Another glass sat waiting on the counter.

She joined him and there was a steady silence as they drank. Merlin, this is awkward, she thought.

Somehow they finished their wine without speaking, Hermione put the glasses in the sink, and off they went. Or rather, Draco seized her arm without notice, closed his eyes, and with a pop and a squeeze they were standing in Queen Mary's Gardens.

"Thank you for the warning." She rebuffed, touching her forehead.

Drinking immediately before apparition was never a good idea, even if it had been a light wine.

"Didn't realize that would cause dizziness."Draco muttered.

Of course he didn't. He hadn't had much opportunity to drink and apparate in one go for the past five years.

"You should wait a least half an hour after consuming any alcohol."

"I'll make a note of it Granger."

Call me Hermione, she thought, but was too self-conscious say it aloud. Instead she said, "So where is the restaurant?"

They stepped away from the metre high bushes that had concealed their apparition and made their way to the fountain at the end of the path.

The sun had set by then, but she could still make out the beautiful roses and other flora that surrounded them. It was a romantic setting and it made her feel anxious and expectant. The park was still open and a few people were rambling aimlessly. No one was paying them any attention.

At the fountain Draco took a piece of white stone from his pocket, reached over the water, and inserted the stone into one of the many cracks of the old fountain. The stone matched perfectly, Hermione noted, as Draco stepped into the fountain and beckoned her to follow. She glanced back at the surrounding garden. It looked as if the people's faces were being repelled from the fountain. She stepped into the fountain and was relieved that her feet felt perfectly dry, despite standing in over thirty centimetres of water. Draco took her arm and led her around the stone pillar until a door appeared. He opened it and they stepped through. It looked as if they had stepped back into the exact same spot, fountain all. But Draco led her out and around the stone pillar again, and this time, the garden was different.

It was twice the size, bursting with flora, and with a white-pillared two-story restaurant situated in the middle.

She barely had time to be awestruck by the stunning building when Draco, smug at her response, pulled her out of the fountain water. Of course she would react this way; he had counted on it.

When they entered the restaurant the maitre d' welcomed them warmly. "Bonsoir, monsieur Malfoy. Ah, qui est cette belle demoiselle?"

"Hermione Granger, ma copine."

The maitre d' continued the friendly chitchat with Malfoy before the couple was finally seated. Hermione said nothing. She understood almost all of their dialogue, having studied French, but neither gentleman acknowledged or addressed her. She told herself it wasn't worth getting nettled over. By their conversation, it seemed that Draco's family had been coming here for years.

Their table was by the window, and the night garden was lit up. Hermione could hardly pull her eyes away from it to look at her menu. The menu itself had no prices, which told Hermione just how expensive this place was. You didn't come here unless you were ready to pay any price. She thought about the coins in her purse and hoped she had enough galleons to afford this.

The menu was in French, English, Italian, and German. She supposed Queen's Mary Gardens was not the only entrance to this place, though perhaps the only one in England.

"Ready to order?" Draco asked.

Hermione nodded. "Scallops sound delicious."

"Seafood it is." Draco said, shutting his menu and beckoning the waiter.

"Vous avez choisi?" The waiter asked.

Draco opened his mouth to respond, but Herimone beat him to it. "Oui monsieur. Je vais prendre—"

As she ordered Draco narrowed his eyes, caught off guard. This was not according to plan.

He ordered his choice and when the waiter left, Draco barely concealed his scowl. "You speak French."

"I do." She remarked. "It comes in handy, don't you think?"

He sipped his wine, eyeing her. He had wanted to impress her, to show off his lineage and dazzle her with his French. But know-it-all Granger wouldn't be overcome that way. He had to change tactics.

"My family has been coming to this place for hundreds of years. We practically established it."

"That's nice." She commented, looking out the window at that damned garden again.

"It can be accessed through six different countries. The actual location we are in now is south France."

Hermione looked at him then. "Wow, that is amazing."

"My family immigrated from these parts to England five generations ago. Even so, I still have family connections here."

"Have you visited here often? Not the restaurant, but this part of France?"

He smiled. She was obviously hooked. "Yes, I used to visit every summer with my mother and father. We have a villa not far from this restaurant."

"A villa? How nice." She smiled politely.

The food and wine was served, and Draco pushed forward the attack. "Perhaps after this I could even show it to you. It is one of my family's best pieces of property."

"Another time," Hermione said, though another time meant that they'd have to go on a date again. She blushed at the thought. "It will be late after we finish dinner, after all."

That was the point, he thought intolerantly.

"It looks beautiful in the moonlight." He countered.

"I'm sure it does," she responded, really looking him in the eye now. Something was up. "But I couldn't possibly at such a late hour. I've got work in the morning. Besides, it could lead to things…"

Granger wouldn't be won without a fight. "Yes, it could lead to things. Is that a problem?"

She felt her face grow hot and she took some wine to collect her thoughts. He hadn't even kissed her yet and he was already after that. Her heart sank. If this was the real reason he had asked her out, he could get that from another girl. Probably a lot of other girls. She had to put him straight.

"I am not going to your French villa tonight Draco, and for the record, I will not be visiting your villa on any dates in the future. Do you understand?"
Her tone left little to misinterpret.

"Alright Granger, I admit tonight was pushing it, but how can you be so sure about any future dates?"

Even a week ago she would have been mortally embarrassed if someone had told her she would be having this conversation with him. Now she was just incensed. She had actually felt attracted to him, and she had let her feelings get involved. He was just looking for someone to shag.

"Let me be clear with you here. I am not comfortable with casual relationships. Even if we were to start dating seriously, I am not interested in that level of intimacy with you and chances are I won't ever be."

Hermione would not sacrifice her happiness for the satisfaction of others. She'd never forget the year she dated Ron, the year following the war. It hadn't taken long in their relationship for Ron to turn randy and start expecting certain things. She had tried to please, and in fairness to Ron she had also felt those natural human desires, though they were fleeting compared with Ron's ardor. The snogging and fondling were tolerably pleasant, but when it came to those few times they had tried to make love it had been a disaster. She could still feel her eyes stinging when he tried, and failed, to penetrate. The first time this could happen, she had read. She knew to expect pain, but it had been unbearable. They tried a few more times, but each time she cried out and shuddered, and he stopped. How could a man carry out the deed when his girlfriend looked so miserable, he said. Eventually their fondling would lead to snuggling instead, and Ron's frustration soon became apparent.

Hermione cultivated damaging negative feelings toward sex, and was not comfortable revisiting that experience. She and Ron agreed to end their relationship. When it came to Keeve there was never any pressure. He had been ever the gentleman, but often distant. Their intimate moments had been so fleeting, he always busy, she always reluctant that it would go further. Somehow Keeve had sensed Hermione's limit without asking, and never pushed her.

Now Hermione would not bring herself to engage in activities she felt uncomfortable with and forced into. Did she feel actual sexual desire? Yes, short-lived compulsions, but never enough to motivate her to pursue it. Not when she still remembered how it felt when Ron had tried.

Draco just stared at her. "You mean you haven't...?"

"That's not really your business. It's my body and my decision, and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am choosing not to share it with you."

Draco leaned back in his chair, sipping his wine. He had to regroup, retreat, and plan out another attack. He couldn't win this battle. He was too shell-shocked.

"I won't accept that Granger." He replied after a long silence. "There are men out there that would accept a neutered relationship with you, but I'm not one of them."

Her indignation was quenched by a stab of hurt. She really shouldn't be surprised. Of course he didn't want to date her now that sex was off the table. Hermione half expected him to get up, throw his napkin on the table, and storm out.

Instead, he went on to say, "I will change your mind."

She looked up at his declaration. He was smiling but his eyes were fiery, almost in anger. He was declaring war on her.

"You will not." She countered, finding it hard to breathe.

"I want to continue seeing you, but you can't expect a warm-blooded man to not want certain things. Let's date, and we'll see where it goes."

"That's not a good idea."

"I'm not entirely convinced you know your own desires. There are people out there like that—"

"The term is asexual." She huffed. "I never claimed that I was. I am simply not interested in that sort of intimacy."

"I danced with you Granger...I felt it too."

She chose not to answer, feigning ignorance to his comment.

Draco sighed, ruffling his hair. Damn, she thought, that hair. "Granger, the choice is yours."

His reaction had been so different from Keeve's, who never questioned her reluctance. Or Ron, who in a fit of impatience suggested that there was something wrong with her. Instead, Malfoy wanted to challenge her sexual desire. This could be a terrible idea.

"I can't promise you anything."

He took her hand, lifted it to his lips, and kissed her fingers. "I'm confident we will eventually come to an agreement."

She felt the heat in her stomach and her body tingle at his touch, and she smiled weakly at him. She was so screwed.

A/N: If you did enjoy it please leave a review and let me know :)

Hermione's experience in this is something I've experienced and heard about from friends as well. Also, after reading this book "Hard to Get: Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom" by Leslie Bell, I realized it's more common for women to be reluctant to be intimate (or simply hate/not enjoy sex) when their first experiences are painful (due to factors like cultural/societal conditioning, vaginismus, fear, etc). I want to address this in this fanfic. If you are going through something like this, check out the book I just mentioned it really is insightful.

I was tempted to give Hermione and Ginny cellphones to have their conversation in the beginning, but decided against it. Keep in mind this is happening in 2003, when cellphones are not that common (remember those brick phones with antenna?), so I doubt the wizarding world would be using them. Even if wizards do embrace smartphones later on (you would think so, right?), this was before smartphones even existed in the muggle world!

-rayko

updated 2016