Disclaimer: I neither own Glee nor the characters. They are the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX. This is purely for fun. Enjoy! :)
A/N: I felt bad that you had to wait so long for chapter eleven, so here's chapter twelve!
Chapter Twelve: Puzzle Pieces
He'd made a promise to himself once that he would never speed again, but he found himself breaking his own promise as he raced down the freeway at top speed, trying to put as much distance between Rachel and Quinn as possible. She was still screaming and crying in the backseat where he'd left her, and he rubbed the sore spot on his chest where she'd kicked him, sighing in pain. The adrenaline hadn't left his system yet, and he still felt like he was on auto-pilot as he got flashback after flashback of his fight with Rachel, mixed in with some other fights as well.
"I can do whatever I want!" Both Quinn and Rachel's voices mixed together as that one drug-induced cry repeated over and over again in his head. The last time he'd been at the Marmont, he'd had the exact same argument with Quinn, and it broke his heart to see Rachel in the same state of mind. It was too similar to ignore, too reminiscent of a life he'd already lived once. He couldn't go through it all again, and he'd never imagined going through it all with Rachel.
However, there had to have been a reason why she'd done this, and he was pretty sure that reason was him, and the kiss she'd witnessed earlier that night. Quinn had obviously told her about the past that he'd so desperately tried to keep hidden, and he wondered how she would react to the truth when she finally calmed down. All of his greatest fears were blowing up right in his face, all throughout the course of one night, and he regretted ever trying to keep the truth about his past from her. She had once said that it wouldn't change the way she felt about him. He wondered if that was still true.
He couldn't worry about that now, however, because Rachel decided to start kicking the back of his seat to emphasize her growing anger, and he almost swerved out of the lane from the shock of it.
"Take me back to the Marmont, Finn! You're ruining everything!" He refused to answer her, and only drove faster in response. She whimpered in the backseat, clutching her head. "My head hurts," she moaned.
"We'll get you some food and water when I get you home." He said steadily, keeping his eye out for any cops.
"I don't want food or water, I want to go back and be with Quinn," she whined. "Besides, I left my stuff in her room, I don't even have my keys."
"Fine, we'll go back to my place then." He was a bit ashamed of his apartment, and he knew it was nowhere near Rachel Berry standards of cleanliness, but he had no other choice as he pulled off at his exit and made his way home. He didn't live in the most glamorous neighborhood, but he maneuvered his way through the streets and parked the car, holding Rachel back when she stumbled out of the backseat.
"You don't have to carry me, Finn, you've done enough." She sneered as she swatted his hands away. He stayed silent until he had lead them to his apartment, not trusting himself to speak until they were both alone.
They entered the apartment, and Rachel took her time in looking around the small space that Finn called his own. She didn't look impressed, and he didn't expect her to be, but she plopped herself down on his ratty old furniture anyway and held her head in her hands, still in pain. He went to the fridge and got her some water, and took out some peanut butter to make her a sandwich.
"Here." She was quiet as she accepted the proffered snack and ate it swiftly, peeking up at Finn with glossy eyes while she ate.
"Thank you," her voice was tired, and he knew that she was still coming down and almost ready to crash, but they still needed to talk. She looked up at him once more and he could tell that she wanted to talk too. "Why didn't you tell me the truth?"
"About what?" He hadn't realized before just how much he'd been keeping from her until now. The shame passed through him like a poison, burning him from the inside out.
She looked exasperated. "Quinn, Dave, your life before you met me. I know you didn't kiss Quinn tonight, Quinn told me herself, so that's not the issue." She rubbed her temples and he knew she must be feeling miserable at the moment. The high might be amazing, but coming down from cocaine was nowhere near as fun. "You were keeping your history with drugs a secret from me and I want to know why."
Her eyes were pleading and they were wearing away at his defenses like a battering ram until it felt like was too much to bear anymore. He never thought he would have to deal with the issue of drugs again after he'd broken up with Quinn, but his life seemed to come back around full circle with Rachel, and it was time to own up to it once and for all as his feelings finally burst out of him in a torrent of emotion.
"I. . . I'm not proud of the life I lived before I met you, Rachel. Do you know how scared I've been, since we started seeing one another? I was afraid that if you knew the truth you wouldn't want to be with me anymore and I didn't want to lose you. I care about you, Rachel, and I wanted to protect you from my personal fucked-up baggage."
"I told you that nothing you said would ever change the way I feel about you. I want to know about these things." She tried to reassure him, but how could she mean that unless she really knew what he'd done?
"No you don't, Rachel. You don't want to know." His voice broke and he couldn't even hide it. "You don't want to know how I got Quinn and her entire band into blow. Hell, even Sam and Puck still do it sometimes. You don't want to know how I stole money from Quinn's wallet to pay for an extra bag or two while we were on the road. You don't want to know how I caused Quinn's addiction, and what that did to our relationship. You don't want to know about the pain I went through, trying to detox all by myself while everyone else was still doing it around me and rubbing it in my face. You don't want to know about the urges I still get to just give up and go back." He coughed down the emotion that clogged up his throat and his voice was rough, thick, and heavy with the pain of his past.
"Yes, I do." Came her quiet response after a moment of pure silence. "I want to know it all, Finn. Do you really think I would have done that coke tonight if I had known about your past with it? If I had known how upset you were about it?" Her eyes were still bloodshot, but now they were covered with the glossy sheen of tears. "Quinn and Dave told me about your past with partying and I thought it would all be okay. 'Finn did it, so it can't be bad'." She said, mocking herself. "I was hurting, and I made a bad decision. I never would have stayed to hang out with Quinn if I'd known she had a history with drugs."
"She promised me she was getting clean." He said, trying to justify his decisions. "I thought you would be safe with her."
"Maybe she was trying to get clean, until you told her about our relationship!"
He sunk his head into the palms of his hands as the lies and secrets continued to pile up around them. "I had no other choice, Rachel. Quinn is trying to unravel everything we've worked towards before we even get the chance to start."
"What do you mean?" She asked, still sipping on her water.
Sighing deeply, he refused to keep anything from her anymore. She had to know why Quinn was keeping her around. "Quinn wants to sign you exclusively to her label."
"What?" She let out an excited cry, but she'd reacted too soon.
"As a songwriter, Rachel, not as a solo artist. She wants to make it so your music would legally belong to her. You wouldn't be able to write for yourself anymore." That brought her down from her euphoria quickly, and her face fell in despair when she realized what that would mean for them.
"So, she's been trying to keep me happy so I'll write her more music?"
"I'm sorry, Rachel, but when I started to defend you against her plan she got suspicious and figured it all out herself. I never meant for any of this to happen, but I didn't want anything to get in the way of you making your album. It's too important."
Lost deep in thought, she didn't say anything for a moment as her eyes grew very sad. Shaking her head, she tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. "Maybe we would be better off that way." She muttered under her breath.
"What did you just say?" He had to have been hearing things.
"Maybe it would be better if I were just a songwriter," she reiterated. "I would have a steady paycheck and job security. I wouldn't be stepping on anyones toes and I would still be an important figure in the music industry."
"How could you say that? You can't just let Quinn win." He asked, stunned that she would want to give up so easily.
"Why not? It would make our lives so much easier. We wouldn't have to worry about being sabotaged or keeping secrets anymore."
"We would be miserable," he said, his voice was firm and steady. "You deserve better than that." He moved to sit next to her then, taking her into his arms and grateful that she allowed him to do so. "You're a real star, Rachel. You have more talent in your right pinky finger than Quinn has in her entire body, and you need to share it with the world." He kissed the top of her head softly. "And we're going to, Rachel. We can still start recording on Monday if you're ready." He could hear her sniffling against his chest and he pulled back to stare into her glazed eyes. She was still wearing Quinn's dress and jewelry, which made her look even more out of place in his grungy apartment than normal. As exhausted as she looked at the moment, he still thought she was gorgeous, and couldn't resist the pull of her, whether or not she was sober. Her lower lip trembled slightly, and he didn't hesitate to capture it in a soft kiss as he closed his eyes in bliss.
When he pulled away, she looked up at him in shock. "So, you're not mad at me? For partying with Quinn?"
"I'm disappointed that you made the decision to party with her, but no, I'm not mad."
"Good. I don't think I want to do it again. I mean, I can see the appeal, but it's not worth it." Wishing that he had possessed the same strength Rachel had in abundance, he kissed her once more, savoring the feel of her lips on his and holding onto her like he was afraid she might disappear.
"Are you mad at me? For keeping the truth about me and Quinn from you?"
She shrugged and played with the collar of his shirt as a distraction. "A little bit, but I understood why you did it. Your history with her was much more complicated than I had imagined, and I wish you had told me yourself, but it doesn't change the way I feel about you Finn. You mean too much to me."
Her simple words made his heart pound in his chest and he knew deep down that he had finally found the acceptance he'd been looking for. His fear and cowardice had gotten in the way of their happiness once, but he would never let it happen again. Rachel was everything he had ever wanted and more. He never wanted to risk their relationship again.
"No more lies, ever." Punctuating the sentiment with a kiss, she nodded once and melted into his embrace, grateful that they were finally free from all the secrets that had been plaguing them for weeks.
There was still one more secret to deal with, though.
"What are we going to tell Quinn about the recording?" He asked, almost afraid to discuss it out loud.
"I think we should tell her the truth. I don't like keeping secrets from her. It's not right."
"Even though she's only trying to use you for your talent?" She closed her eyes, deep in thought.
"Yes. She should know."
He nodded his head at her decision and sighed. "It's your call."
They sat there for a few moments in silence, Finn holding Rachel in his arms while thoughts of Quinn flitted through his brain. She still had the potential to ruin their hard work, and even though he wasn't a fan of keeping secrets either, he had to admit that her influence could be detrimental to the recording process. He definitely didn't want her hanging around Rachel anymore, though. She was a terrible influence.
"Finn?" Rachel's soft voice snapped him back to the present, where Rachel was resting tightly against his chest. "What time is it?"
He glanced at the clock on his oven timer. "Almost 4am."
"I've never been up this late in my entire life." He laughed at the exhaustion in her tone, and helped her up off the couch as he walked her to his room. She collapsed on the bed with a moan and threw off the dress and accessories Quinn had given her for the night. They probably cost more than a month's worth of rent, but he didn't care as she snuggled into his bed practically naked, and half asleep. He placed a blanket upon her immediately, before he crawled into bed next to her, pulling her close. "Go to sleep, Rachel," he cooed softly into her hair. "I'll be right here when you wake up."
"Mmm." She moaned softly, falling asleep right before his eyes. "Goodnight, Finn."
She was asleep before he could even shut off the lights.
A loud banging roused Finn from his deep slumber, and he groaned out loud when he looked over at the clock and realized what time it actually was. It should be illegal to be up this early on a Saturday, he thought as he pulled himself out of bed and dragged his body to the door. Rachel was still sleeping deeply, and he was sure she would stay that way for most of the day.
Opening the door, he groaned again when he spotted the bright blonde hair of his ex-girlfriend, and she pushed right past him into his apartment without even an invitation. She was wearing her trademark sunglasses, and he was pretty sure she hadn't slept at all from the heavy exhaustion that lined her features.
"Good morning, Quinn, why don't you come in?" He said dryly, his voice heavy with sleep and dripping with sarcasm.
"Rachel left her stuff in my room." She threw the handbag on Finn's couch and it landed with a dull thud. "She didn't answer the door at her place, so I thought maybe she would be here."
"She is." He agreed, and her face hardened.
"Well then get me my dress and my jewelry. I need it." He walked back into his bedroom and picked the dress up of the floor, collecting the bracelets and earrings she had let Rachel borrow as well. Peeking over at the bed, Rachel barely moved as she stayed asleep, unaware of the presence of Quinn in the next room. Finn took the clothes and returned them to the starlet, who was staring around the apartment, barely able to hide her distaste.
"So, how is the little princess this morning? Did she have fun last night?" She giggled haughtily.
"You have some nerve trying to fuck up Rachel's life like that." He said, his voice low and gritty.
"Oh, relax, Finn. I was just trying to show her a good time."
"You were trying to turn her into you! She's not a toy you can play around with Quinn. She's my girlfriend now, and you have to accept that."
Her brow furrowed deeply and her voice was as cold as ice. "Why?" She asked. "Why wasn't I enough for you, Finn? I tried to stop doing blow because I wanted to make you happy, and even after that you still chose her."
"Quinn, I don't know how many more times I have to say this but it's over between us." He said, exasperated. "Besides, it's not just the partying, and it's not only about you. My decisions matter too, and you need to accept that."
"No." She said stubbornly, crossing her hands over her chest. "I still love you, Finn, and I know theres a part of you that still cares about me."
"That might be so, but if you really love me, you'll respect my choices. I choose Rachel, and that's not just going to change."
"It can change, if you give it time. I'm going on vacation for a few weeks with the girls, before we have to start promoting the new album. When we get back, we can talk."
He shook his head, doubting the possibility that his feelings for Rachel would change in a few weeks, but agreed anyway, wanting her to get out of his apartment. There was no getting through to her unless she got her way, so he finally nodded despite himself. "Have fun on your vacation."
"Tell Rachel I said 'hi'." She remarked dryly as she walked towards the door. She tried to lean over for a goodbye kiss but he ignored her, and she stormed out of his apartment in a huff while he gratefully slammed the door behind her.
He sighed deeply, and the sound of Rachel's voice calling his name carried throughout his tiny apartment alerting him that she was no longer asleep. When he entered his room she had the covers pulled tightly around her body, and he'd forgotten that the dress was all she'd worn last night besides underwear.
"What happened to my clothes?" She asked drowsily, her voice still thick with sleep. "Ugh, my head," she added with a moan.
"Quinn came by to pick up the stuff you borrowed. She brought over your bag as well."
"Great," she said, massaging her temples. "I'll just go home naked then."
"You can borrow some of my clothes. They'll swim on you, but they'll keep you covered until we can get you back home." Just the thought of Rachel in any of his clothes was enough to make him laugh. She was just so damn tiny.
"I'm so tired." She blinked against the sparse light in the room and he'd forgotten how terrible the hangovers could get the morning after a big party. "I'm never doing that stuff again."
"You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that." Leaning back against his sheets, she closed her eyes once more.
"What else did she have to say?" She asked groggily, letting the urge to sleep take her over again.
"Nothing much, just that she wants me back and won't take no for an answer. You know, normal Quinn stuff."
"I would understand, you know?" Rachel said quietly into her pillows. "If you were to choose her over me, I'd get it."
He joined her on the bed again instantly, pushing the errant hair away from her face. "I would never do that, Rachel. I've made my choice already, and I chose you."
"So what are we going to do about her?"
"Well, we won't have to worry about her for a little while because she's going on vacation before she has to start promoting the album. She'll be gone for 2 or 3 weeks."
"Really?" She asked, sounding more alert than she did a few moments ago. "Did you tell her about the album?"
"To be honest, Rachel, the thought didn't really cross my mind at the time." All of a sudden, without warning, Rachel shot out of bed like a bullet, pulling open Finn's drawers and pulling out one of his old high school t-shirts from football. 'Property of McKinley High' could still be seen on the faded logo while the t-shirt went all the way down to her knees, like a baggy dress. When she looked up at him again, she shot him an incredulous look, like she was surprised that he was still in bed.
"Well what are you waiting for? You have to drive me home!"
"I thought you wanted to go back to sleep!" He pouted, sadly. He thought he'd be able to lay back down with her in bed, and maybe fit in some Saturday morning snuggles while they were being lazy.
"Who needs sleep when we have guitarists to audition and songs to finish writing? If we can complete most of the album before Quinn gets back, then she can't ruin it!" He grinned, then, excited that they were still ready to take on this massive endeavor. He clapped his hands together and jumped out of bed, feeling instantly rejuvenated, like last night never even happened.
"Oh, it's on!"
"Thank you for your time, we'll keep in touch." Rachel smiled politely at the third guitarist in a row who couldn't play to save his life, and they were starting to get frustrated as the clock continued to tick. At noon they were supposed to start laying down the basics with the string quartet, but they wanted to at least hire the guitarists before the recording could begin so there wasn't a rush. Unfortunately for them, their pickings were slim, and they didn't know how much more torture they would be able to endure.
"That guy was terrible," Finn said, once he'd left the room.
"I know," Rachel replied, pinching the bridge of her nose. "This was a lot harder than I figured it would be. I though LA was full of musicians trying to make it."
"Just because they're trying, doesn't mean they're any good."
"Hey, you were one of these guys once, before Quinn hired you."
"Well then, let's see if we can make another person's dreams come true!" He winked at her then and she giggled as he did a drum roll with his hands while looking down at the paper. "Our next contestant is. . . Lauren Zices." He paused after he read the name, unsure if he'd read it correctly. He shrugged and Rachel went out to bring in the next candidate.
Her large, bulky silhouette was unmistakable as she entered the space, her guitar strapped over her shoulder and an expression that clearly said "don't fuck with me" was written on her face for all the world to see . Her fists were resting on her hips as she walked up to the table, intimidating Finn, like she was a wrestler about to step up to the ring as Rachel trailed in behind her. She wore nothing but black and pink on her hefty frame and appraised Finn and Rachel like she was the one who was auditioning them.
"So this is the deal." She spoke without even introducing herself. "I know I'm the most kick-ass guitarist that ever came out of LA, and I'm here to show you both too. If you don't think so, then you're deaf, and stupid. I don't make it rain, I bring the heat storm." By the time she was done with her introduction, Rachel looked so shocked that he was afraid her face would freeze that way. She eventually blinked and smiled, sitting down next to Finn while Lauren set up her equipment.
"Please, Lauren, you may start whenever you're ready." When the stocky guitarist started to play, Finn was immediately blown away as she started to wail on some impressive power notes, fingering the bar and doing intricate pick work while the sound came out balanced and perfectly on pitch. Rachel shot him a look and he knew she was impressed too.
They had found their new lead guitarist.
"You're hired!" Rachel squeaked before she was even done playing her audition piece. Lauren nodded once, and the ghost of a smile pulled up her lips.
"Bitchin'."
"If you're available, you can stick around and hear some of what we've already started working on. Most of my songs are on the pop spectrum, so we may not need you all the time, but your talent will be highly appreciated."
Suddenly, the tough-as-nails look on Lauren's face melted away, and she looked down at Rachel with respect shining in her eyes. "That's all I've ever wanted." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Not many people will hire a female guitarist, let alone one that looks like me, so I appreciate the opportunity. I'll stick around." She and Rachel shook hands while Finn looked on with pride.
He noticed Artie fiddling around in the mixing booth out of the corner of his eye and he went to go say hello, leaving the ladies to talk. They still hadn't figured out a way to keep Artie interested in the project, and they had no extra money to pay him. Even if they were able to finish recording the album in three weeks, they still needed 4,500 dollars, and Rachel was putting up most of the money on her own.
"Hey Artie, glad you can make it." He shook the technician's hand as he noticed Kurt and Blaine enter the studio, giving Rachel big hugs. They were followed in by two other ladies, people that Finn hadn't yet met.
"So have you figured out what we'll be doing here? I really can't accept the job if it's pro-bono."
"Don't worry, dude, we'll work something out." Trying to distract him, he pointed to the next room and smiled. "Do you want to meet the other musicians? I still have to meet some of them myself."
"Sure, why not?" He followed Finn into the studio and was introduced to Lauren, Kurt and Blaine. Kurt took it upon himself to introduce his quartet.
"Hello, new friends and old, I am Kurt Elizabeth Hummel and this is my stunning lover and expert Concert Bass player, Blaine Anderson."
"Charmed." Blaine said, embellishing it with a deep bow.
"This steaming mug of hot chocolate is Mercedes Jones, on the viola." She shook Finn's hand with a bright smile and a vibrant "Hello!" "And this shy little thing in the back is Tina Cohen-Chang, our violinist."
"Hi." She said with a small wave, and Finn caught Artie staring at the new violinist like she was a goddess amongst mortals.
"Guys, this is Artie, but he might not be. . ." he started to say, but he was interrupted when Artie suddenly wheeled forward towards Tina, cutting Finn off and shaking her hand exuberantly.
"What Finn was about to say was that I might not be a musician myself, but I always work my best to make sure you all sound flawless." Finn looked at Rachel and she was so excited she looked like she was about to burst out of her skin. They had everything they needed to start recording, and it looked like Artie found his incentive to stay.
"Is anyone missing?" Kurt asked while looking around the room.
"Well, we're short an electric bassist, but we still have time."
"I know a bassist!" Tina exclaimed, excited to be contributing. "My mom tried to set me up with him once- the Asian community in LA is very tight. We went on a few dates, and I heard him play once. He was really good. His name is Mike."
"Do you think you could get him in here this week?" Finn asked, grateful that they didn't have to go through the auditioning process again.
"Probably. I'll call him tonight."
"Prefect!" Rachel exclaimed, clapping wildly while she looked around the room with tears in her eyes. "We can get started right away." The musicians separated then, getting ready to start rehearsing while Finn pulled Rachel to the side, pressing his lips on hers in a kiss full of promise and hope.
"We're almost there, Finn. I can feel it. All of my dreams are coming true." He kissed her again, and met her eyes with pure serenity in his gaze as the puzzle pieces of his life finally started to fit together.
"All of our dreams are coming true, Rachel." He said softly, so only she can hear. "Nothing is going to stop us from recording this album." Kissing her once more, he was ready to start the grueling process of recording another record, but this time he was more dedicated and involved than ever before.
Nothing was going to keep him from keeping his promise to Rachel, and no one was going to stop them either.
Finn's Final Thoughts: I wonder how we're going to pay all these musicians?
Until Next Time. . . sings . . . Don't Stop, Reviewing!
Merci mille fois mes amis!