Day 12

A/N: I just realized how ridiculous the concept of them falling in love over the course of 13 days is but oh fucking well it's day 12 and i have lots of coffee in my system rn lets do it.

You woke up early to buy some stuff from the store for making cookies. You figured that sugar was something everybody needed on their birthday, but didn't want to risk making cake and failing colossally. At least the worst you can do with cookies is burn them.

Or, that's what you assumed.

Taking full advantage of your free weekend from work, you got several things done. You cleaned, put clothes in the washing machine, changed Maru-Chan's litter, made yourself a real breakfast, and eventually lunch, and even coordinated some things with Gin to insure there would be no disaster when dealing with Akutagawa the following day. You were the poster-boy for productivity.

You texted Kyouka about making cookies and she instantly decided to come over- making sure your roommate was out first. Nobody wanted to be there to see Kyouka and Akutagawa meeting again after their complicated past.

Of course, she was a loyal friend to you through and through and had been listening to you complain and seek advice the past eleven or twelve days with Akutagawa, but something didn't sit right with you. Even the previous night when she and the others (The Help Atsushi Group Chat, made up of Yosano, Lucy, Kyouka, and you. In return for their advice you do them favors that you would probably end up doing anyway. Though, you think they are genuinely concerned for your well-being. Sometimes it's hard to tell.) were talking to you, Kyouka didn't seem to respond as much, and ended up going to bed early.

"So, why are you making cookies, anyway?" She asked.

You didn't think the truth would be particularly helpful in this situation, "No reason." You cringed because it would be your luck that your voice cracked.

"Don't lie to me so blatantly. You've already told me about everything with your roommate, it's not like at this point hiding things makes a difference."

"What? How did you figure out it was for Akkun so quickly?"

"Akkun?"

Whoops. You were always careful to avoid the nickname in the group chat.

"Okay. I can explain. That nickname was supposed to annoy him, and it completely backfired when he started calling me Nacchan."

"But, why are you celebrating his birthday at all? Dazai only required a gift?"

"I dunno. It's sorta a feeling I just have that I shouldn't hate him anymore. Maybe living with him just numbed it all. It's confusing and don't have an answer, okay?"

You thought that she should be angry at you. That she should feel betrayed. She had more than enough reason to be.

"I think that you are holding yourself back." She finally said.

You didn't get it. "I'm not…?"

"Yes you are. You don't know why you don't hate him because part of you still thinks you have to. I've been friends with you long enough to know that you can't figure out how to be around him while being fclose with me."

"That's not true!" You found yourself trying to deny it.

She just looked at you.

"Okay… maybe it's a little true."

"You have no obligation to hate him for me. If I hate him, then that is my personal business. The things he has done to me were done to me, not you. I'm not the one who lives in an apartment with him. So stop. Consider my feelings when it comes to snacks, or movies, not other people. Use your own judgement. You and I aren't the same. You have it in you to forgive." She glared at you pointedly, making sure to emphasize her last words:

"You should forgive him."

Just like that, you think a dam broke within you. As if all of your feelings had been held behind a leaking wall, overflowing with the water growing stronger each day you lived in the apartment and all of the confusion was your hatred mixing with the spillover. A drop of his eyes are pretty, or you shouldn't let him sleep on the couch would integrate into the stream of consciousness and you would find it all confusing as they accumulated. The dam wouldn't stop it any longer, especially with Kyouka right there tearing it down with her words. You should forgive him.

The heaviness of the dam seemed to dissipate, a weight lifted off of your shoulders. It turns out that trying to restrict your own thoughts is rather stressful, and the anxiety was finally dissipating.

"Kyouka," Where would you be without her? "Thanks for being understanding."

Before she responded, you had a realization.

"CRap, the cookies are burning!"

"Okay these are unsalvageable let's make another batch."

"I'm eating them anyway."

"Kyouka, no!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Where is your restroom?"

"Akkun will probably get back soon, you should probably head out."

"Can I take some of the cookies with me?"

"I think I burned this batch, too."

"How? I was right here watching the timer."

"I think I'm probably cursed."

Static buzzing over the intercom stopped your conversation, "Sorry about the interruption, but I just had a brilliant idea for a roommate challenge! Hi, Kyouka~"

"Hello." She responded.

"Aren't you at work, Dazai?" You asked.

He laughed, "Literally everybody knows that I'm not doing anything, why bother hiding it?"

"I mean, you aren't wrong." Kyouka reached for a cookie while she thought you were distracted but you caught the movement and pushed her hand away.

You continued with the conversation, "Anyways, why are you mentioning the challenge right now? Akkun isn't here yet." Damn. You hated how naturally the nickname rolled off the tongue even when he wasn't there. Although, you guess you don't have to hate him anymore. So that should be okay.

No…

It's still weird.

It still seemed frustrating. What was the expression, old habits die hard? Old grudges die even harder then.

"Oh, young and naive Atsushi. Haven't you figured out by now that I have a tendency of putting more work onto you?"

You just groaned as a response. There was nothing you could do.

"I might stop giving you challenges one day soon. Just persevere for now. Roommate Challenge #12: Welcome your roommate home."

"Eh?"

"It's simple. When he gets back you just say 'Welcome home~' and bam you're done with the challenge just like that."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Why not make him do it instead?"

"Just because."

You smelled smoke before entering the apartment. The smoke alarm's annoying beeping came while you were unlocking the door (you don't know why you locked it, really, probably because you aren't used to having a roommate).

"Not again!" You heard Atsushi's voice exclaim.

When you finally got the door open (it took a few rushed attempts), you saw him standing on a folding chair, removing the smoke alarm from the ceiling by force. He noticed you in the doorway and promptly fell off of the chair. Yikes.

When he got back up, he looked at you with that toxically sweet smile of his and the day probably brightened around him, making you forget the smoke and even the incredibly distracting apron he was wearing (it had a cat on it).

"Welcome home!"

What.

"Sorry about the mess in the kitchen and the smoke alarm and the, err, smoke. I'm making cookies and failing miserably."

You had lots of questions. "Why are-"

"Wait! You're forgetting something!"

"What am I forgetting?"

He just crossed his arms as if it was obvious, "What do you say when someone welcomes you back?"

Was he serious?

"You can't be serious."

"I'm super serious!"

The way he was pouting with his hands on his hips and his nose raised strongly resembled a child and in no way conveyed seriousness, but you weren't going to argue with something so cute.

"I'm home…"

"I've wasted so much cookie dough batter, I feel like such a failure."

"I get why you're making cookies, but you know you don't have to keep trying. You probably should've given up after you burned the second batch." Akutagawa was tidying up some of the kitchen, probably out of pure reflex.

You tried to keep up casual conversation, but you thought you were on the brink of hyperventilation. Not fighting with Akutagawa (at least not initiating fights with) was surprisingly nice. The problem came in not restraining your thoughts about him anymore, and not knowing what to do with any of it. You were suddenly noticing weird details about how he acts or talks, even how he looks. Especially about his hair. You kept thinking you didn't like how one of the strands was in his face and you wanted to push it back.

"If you're going to collapse, try to do it where I won't have to deal with you."

You took a moment to process what he was saying. "What do you mean?"

"You look like you're about to pass out." He observed.

"Oh! Sorry. Just been in the kitchen with burnt for a while. I need to take a break, probably…" You awkwardly laughed, hoping the excuse was good enough.

He just shrugged and reached for a cookie.

"Wait, no! Don't eat that, it might kill you." You warned.

He seemed intent upon eating the cookie. "This one doesn't look burnt. Besides, it was made for me so I'm going to eat it."

"Ah, even if it isn't very burnt I think something went wrong, you really can't trust anything I make that isn't microwavable."

He ended up eating the entire cookie despite your protests.

"You should probably give up trying to make cookies for me." He went off to his room without another word.

You were curious so you tried one from the same batch. If he finished the cookie at least it was edible?

…

…

You think you put salt in the batter instead of sugar.

Whether that is a testament to Akutagawa's tolerance or his determination remains unknown.

"I can't believe you."

"What's wrong?"

"Why are you still making cookies?"

"I'm not making them, I'm decorating now! Oh, I probably should've asked if you liked frosting… but they're sugar cookies so you have to eat them with frosting, that's like a rule of nature!"

Sure, maybe you had gotten a little carried away with trying to put cute little images on them, then messing up and starting over a lot, but that didn't mean he had any right to judge you. You were even making the cookies for him too!

He walked into the kitchen and gestured for you to hand him a thing of frosting.

"What are you doing, Akkun?" You asked as you handed him the frosting.

"I'm going to help you finish so that you'll leave the kitchen faster." He said is plainly, as if it was incredibly obvious.

"No!"

"No?"

"I want to make these on my own!" You casually left out the part where Kyouka helped you. "Why do you want me out the kitchen so badly, anyway?"

He crossed his arms, "I want to make tea."

"So, just make tea."

"The kitchen is too small."

"I'll move this over a bit then to make room."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because," He looked frustrated. "Because this is disgusting."

You didn't understand, "I'm sorry that my cookies aren't good?"

"Not that," He put his hand on his forehead, looking around with an anxiety in his eyes like something was on fire.

"Then what?!"

"This!" He shouted.

There was a pause as he realized he had yelled, and you tried to find words that wouldn't make him angrier.

"This whole thing," He gestured around the room as if to emphasize his point, "The cookies, the apartment, the phone numbers, the way you welcomed me home. It's domestic. It's normal. I can't stand it. You and Dazai are just driving me insane."

You wanted to object, to somehow contradict it all, but at the end of the day those were his feelings and no matter how badly you wanted it to be different you had no power over the situation.

He left the kitchen and grabbed something from the side table before starting for the exit

"Where are you going?" You asked.

He grumbled something about getting tea before slamming the door.

You don't even like pre-made tea.

You heard some slamming outside of your room, which you assumed was Akutagawa entering the apartment. He didn't have to be so aggressive about it.

A moment later you received a text from him that just said the word "Refrigerator". Just cryptic enough to leave you confused, but with enough prompting to give you directive. Thanks, Akutagawa.

There wasn't anything unusual about the kitchen, the cookies were in tupperware containers, neatly stacked on the side, the counters were wiped clean of evidence that you were a disaster with baking, and the recipe you printed out was neatly torn to shreds and buried in the recycling. Just like you left it.

Within the fridge you discovered the reason Akutagawa texted you:

A can of tea.

You could interpret it several different ways.

You decided to think of it as an apology.

End Day 12