The van ride to the Hilltop was completely silent. No one wanted to talk. No one even felt like talking. They were all either grieving or just trying to process what all had just happened. When they got back in the van, Maggie just laid her head on Kinsley's lap and they both cried together. Maggie mourned over the loss of her loving and amazing husband. Kinsley mourned because she just knew in the back of her mind that she would never see her dad again. It wasn't fair, she thought. It wasn't fair that she had just met him a couple months ago and this man, this stupid man was going to take him away from her. Even though she was living in a zombie apocalypse, a living hell, her life was perfect for just that short time because she had her father and she had Carol, who made the idea of a perfect family real for her.

They had been back at the Hilltop for a couple nights now. Kinsley could not sleep. She flipped over and over every night and when she finally went to sleep, the nightmare of the bat's sound and the image of blood splattering from Abraham and Glenn's head woke her up. She couldn't take this anymore. She shot out of bed, knowing what she needed to do. She started packing a book bag. She put some clothes in there to last her around two days. She went downstairs and grabbed some food out of the pantry, filled her water bottle up in the sink and then grabbed an extra bottle. She cleaned her knives and then went outside to the armory. She grabbed one of the group's guns and grabbed two boxes of bullets. When she stepped outside, Carl stopped her in her tracks.

"Where are you going in the middle of the night Kins?"

Kins is what he called her. They really had become the best of friends.

"I need to get Carol back. I really need her now more than ever. She always knows how to calm me down and comfort me. Carl, I haven't slept in days and I am haunted by the images of those two brutal deaths and I am haunted by the fact that my dad could be fighting for his life right now or even be dead. I know Maggie won't let me go so I am going to climb the back fence. Please don't make this harder than it needs to be."

"I won't, but you know it's not safe out there, especially now that you're leaving in the middle of the night. Do you even know where she is?"

"No but I know what direction she went in. I am sure I will find her" she said.

"She could be miles from here. Take a car. I want to come with you, but I know there's no way you will let me. Take the green Hyundai. It's up near the gate. It won't make a sound when you start it, just don't turn the headlights on until you get out of the gates. It also has two containers of gas in the back if you need them. I will distract the night guards or knock them out or something."

"Thank you Carl. Thank you so much."

He hugged her and the two made their ways toward the gates.

"Stay safe you hear me. Bring her home."

"I will."

Kinsley had been driving for two days now, not really knowing where she was going or how she was going to find Carol. She was exhausted and was about to the point of giving up when she saw a sweater on the left side of the road. Her heart stopped- Carol's sweater. She stopped the car and ran over to it. There was no sign of blood, so she must have just accidentally dropped it. She turned in all directions, wondering what way she would've gone. She trusted her instincts and just kept driving forward.

Finally, she came across a little house on the side of the road that was surrounded by a little gate. She almost kept going, but something in her heart told her that this was it.

She pulled over on the side of the road and walked down the little stone walkway up to the front door. She felt so many emotions at this point. She was excited, hoping that Carol was there. She hadn't seen her in weeks at this point. She was scared. What if it wasn't her? What if she found her dead in the house? She pulled herself together and knocked on the door. She heard footsteps and put her hand on one of her knives just incase it wasn't Carol. She sighed in relief when she saw a familiar face peek out the door.

"Oh my. Kinsley. What? How?" Carol said with tears building up in her eyes. Oh how she had missed this girl.

Kinsley couldn't even get words out and she just collapsed in Carol's arms, balling her eyes out.

Carol helped her inside and sat her on the couch.

"Kinsley what's going on? Wait. Where's Daryl? Why isn't he with you? Why are you all alone? Wait don't tell me he's..." Carol couldn't bring herself to say that last word.

"No. At least not that I know of."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we were trying to get Maggie to the Hilltop because she was having contractions or something. Well the whole way there the Saviors kept stopping us and finally we had to get out of the van and try to walk. When we did, they surrounded us. They lined us all up and I was relieved because dad wasn't there, but then they opened the doors to a trailer and he was in there. He had went out a couple days before all this with Michonne and Glenn to try to stop Dwight, but I guess they were captured. Anyways, this bastard named Negan, who is apparently the leader of the Saviors, came out and told us we were gonna have to pay for killing a bunch of their people in the outposts. Well he started doing this eenie, meenie, miney, mo game with his barbed wire-wrapped bat he calls Lucille. The bat landed on Abraham and he told us we couldn't move or scream or he would kill Carl. Then he swung the bat and oh that sound Carol, I will never get over it."

She placed her hand on Kinsley's knee, hoping it would give her some kind of comfort.

"He hit him in the head and killed him. He killed him with a freaking bat! Well then this bastard started taunting Rosita and dad got pissed. He ran up and punched Negan in the face. They slung him back down and turned around and slung the bat into the head of Glenn who was right beside me. Carol, it was awful. Be glad you weren't there. His blood covered me and pieces of his brains were in my hair! He just hit him over and over again. He wouldn't stop. There was nothing left of his head by the time he was done."

At this point Kinsley lost it. She started rocking back and forth just like she did that night. Just thinking of that night killed her.

Carol grabbed her and hugged her tightly. Kinsley just laid her head in Carol's lap. Carol strung her hands through Kinsley's hair, just like Kinsley's mom used to. She told her over and over again that everything would be alright even though she knew her girl would have the hardest time getting over this.

"So where is your dad Kinsley?" Carol asked.

"Oh. Sorry. Well Dwight took him back with them. They said that he was going to pay for his disobedience. Carol I know how awful these people are. I witnessed what they did to Abraham and Glenn. I cannot let them do that to dad. I couldn't live with myself. I'm so scared. I can't lose him."

"You won't baby. You won't. He is a fighter. I know, I have seen him in action for the past eight years. He knows how to take care of himself" Carol said.

"I know, but you don't know these guys. They're horrible. Anyways, that's why I came to find you. Carl helped me sneak out of the Hilltop. I had to see you and try to get you to come back home. We need you. I need you. I can't sleep. I can't go to sleep because I just keep wondering if dad is alive and if he is what they're doing to him and if not how he died. I wonder if his death was as brutal as the two I witnessed. Then I cry. I cry so much and for so long that I cry myself to sleep. When I finally fall asleep, I am haunted by nightmares. I have repeating nightmares of that night. I just have to keep hearing that awful sound of the bat hitting our family member's skulls. I have to keep watching the blood pour out of Abraham's head. I have to keep watching Glenn's head turn into nothing but something that looks like mashed up meat. I have to keep watching Maggie's face when she witnessed her husband be brutally murdered right in front of her. Carol I can't do it anymore. I feel so alone. I need you. Please come home."

Carol just cried. She couldn't even say anything. She felt awful. She should've been there. She should've never left. It should've been her there, not Kinsley. She should've had to watch this awful scene, not this innocent and sweet girl. She owed it to her. She wasn't sure she was ready to come back and fight yet, but she knew she was ready to fight for her husband and new daughter. She was ready to be the mother she needed to be to Kinsley. She needed to be strong for her, even though she felt the weakest she had ever felt before, but she would find a way to gain back her strength because Kinsley needed her to.

"Okay, baby. Okay."

Kinsley burst into tears. "Thank you mama. Thank you."

Kinsley didn't even realize what she had said. This had been the first time she called Carol mom. She had never called her step-dad "dad" because she wanted to save it to use for her real dad, but now that her real mom was dead, she didn't feel guilty saying it. Carol had been so much like a mom to her now. She had loved her as though she was her own. Kinsley knew that she deserved that title.

Mom, Carol thought. It had been so long since she had been called that. She had shut Lizzie down back in the prison when she called her that, but here it felt right. She wasn't scared to be her mom.

"Of course. I love you Kinsley."

The two headed back to the Hilltop right away. Carol was greeted with hugs when she stepped out of the car. It did feel good to be back with her family. Her heart longed for Daryl, but she knew deep down that he was okay and that he would find a way back to her. She couldn't show weakness in front of Kinsley. She had to be strong and positive for her.

Carol had to lay in bed with Kinsley every night, calming her down before she went to sleep and staying there to be there for her when she woke up screaming and covered in sweat. She was there, rag in hand to dry her forehead off and wipe her tears away. She was there to hold her as she cried and to rock her back and forth until she fell back asleep, just like she used to do with Sophia. She had missed being a mom and Kinsley made it so easy. She loved this girl so much, so much that it kind of scared her.