Another kill, another death. This time it was the Shinsengumi. No matter how much he washed his hands, no matter how much he wiped and polished his swords, the smell of blood still surrounded him, the slippery crimson liquid was still visible in his hands. He wiped his hands one last time using a towel before heading back to his room.

The moment he entered the room, the smell of plum blossom greeted him. It was smoothing, warm and calming.

Tomoe looked up at him from the desk, "You are back," she said and closed the book she was reading as she turned to face him. "It is late but there are still some rice left if you are hungry. I have made your bed as well."

He did not answer her immediately. The smell of her was overwhelming, overpowering the smell of blood.

"I want…" He broke the silence with a whisper and stepped closer to her. He wanted to erase the blood on his hands, he wanted to cease smelling the repulsive odour.

"Yes?" Tomoe asked. She did not catch his words as he mumbled the end of his sentence.

"I want you," he said as he held her by the shoulder and pushed her down to the futon, claiming her soft lips.

The sudden assault caught her breathless and she could feel his lips warm against hers. She should have pushed him away but her hands remained pressed on his chest. It surprised even herself that she was accepting his kiss, accepting him.

Kenshin felt like he was tingling everywhere and she was so warm that he wanted to melt into her warmth. Yet, he was puzzled by her reaction. He knew she killed to protect her honour. He pulled away, breaking the long kiss.

"Aren't you going to resist?" he asked. His eyes were dark and his voice was void of any emotions.

Tomoe looked at him as she took a few breaths, sorting out her thoughts "…There is no time for me to think when you act impulsively without reason."

Upon hearing her answers, Kenshin lips thinned, "Men do not need a reason for this."

That may be the reason. Men are beasts, the reason of the existence of tea houses and their success. He was the same and acted on impulse. He probably did more to the woman in Shimbara.

"Especially to the woman he likes," he explained.

Tomoe was surprised by his unexpected explanations. His eyes reflected her own self and she felt the heat on her cheeks and she looked away. Her soft calming heart beat quickened and pounded in her ears.

His face was still mere inches from hers, and she could feel his breath as he whispered, "Or you do not see me as a man."

He was a young boy who celebrated his coming-of-age recently. However, the strength of his hands pressing on her arms and the passion that rages in his eyes were that of a man. He wanted her and she could feel it. She looked back at him, the man who she was ordered to spy on, who she was ordered to give herself to. He was still looking at her, waiting for her answer. Then it struck her, he was holding back, giving her a choice.

She breathed more steadily and gave her answer, "No."

Kenshin drew back and for a moment she thought he looked angry and would force her, but he merely frowned slightly and got up. He was no longer staring at her as she sat up. Insanely, she felt a flutter of emptiness in her heart when he moved away and then a quick flash of anger at herself. Don't give in to him, she thought, and waited for his assessment.

"I apologize for my actions. I would understand if you want to move out-" Kenshin said after a while.

"I am fine," she cut him off. Ironically, she felt safer with him. I must be insane, she thought.

Kenshin seemed unfazed at her reply and remained quiet for a moment before speaking. "I am hungry."

"I will prepare something," Tomoe said and went out to warm up some food.

/-/

"Tomoe kun, look after him."

Why were they pushing him to her? It was so easy to capture his heart. She knew she was close to fulfilling her role at capturing his heart. Yet, her heart was in a mess. Her head was throbbing painfully. She no longer knew what she wanted. She no longer knew what was right or wrong. She was tired and lost. She needed someone to lean onto, she need someone to be there for her.

But why him? Why does he have to be the person? Was she asking too much?

"What should we do?" Tomoe asked as Katsura left.

"I will go to Otsu. If you need money for traveling, that can be arranged," Kenshin replied.

All of a sudden, she felt the anger in her boiled and she asked, "Why?"

"Why?" Kenshin looked at her, puzzled.

"Why are you listening to Katsura? Why are you forgoing your chance to put down your sword? Why are you doing this?" She spoke, her voice biting and harsh. There was more she wanted to say but she did not.

Kenshin answered almost instantly which irked her even more. "This is my duty," he replied.

"It is not!" Tomoe almost shouted as she grabbed his hand. He could run away. He could stop being a monster. Then she could stop following him and she could forget about him and go back to her family.

Kenshin was taken aback by her outburst but did not pull away. He could tell she was seething but he could not understand it. This was the first time he saw her lose control.

"There are other ways," she said hurriedly and looked hard at his eyes, "There are other ways to help others without getting your hands dirty."

For a moment, Tomoe thought he would agree with her as she watched his eyes widened a fraction at her words but it was quickly replaced back with his stoic face.

"You asked me why I follow Katsura, it is because I believe in his visions. I want to see the day myself before I cast aside my katana. If I should give up, not only does my future ends, but also the future of the ones I am trying to protect. Running away is not an option. This is the sacrifice I am willing to make."

She wanted to argue but held back. It was useless talking to him when he firmly believed in his visions and disregarding the toil of the job on him. He was stubborn and he was in too deep. She knew this and yet she could not help but care for him.

"Well, it is not right for me to judge you," Tomoe said quietly. She withdrew her hand. What would she do then? It is her punishment to be Battousai's woman. They were both tools. It seemed she was only a burden to him. "I don't really have a place to go but," she said.

"It's not as though you have nowhere," he huffed, annoyed by her indecision. He would take care of her. "I guess…it's wrong for me to leave it all up to you. Let's live together."

Tomoe thought he truly was a tool, he would entrust the decisions to his leaders, just like the decision to assassinate someone. He did not think for himself. She would not travel with him to Otsu if that was the case. The Bakufu may well be interested in taking his life. She would not be part of it anymore.

"That's very kind of you. If it is to fulfil your duty to Katsura, then you need not trouble yourself to look out for me. I will make my own arrangements," Tomoe replied curtly, returning to her old self, hiding her emotions.

"…" Kenshin was at a loss of words at her reply. He did not think that way. It did not matter. He wanted her to be by his side. It was not because of Katsura's order.

Taking his silence as an agreement to what she had said. Tomoe bowed and thanked him sincerely for his kind hospitality during the days she was in Kyoto. With that, she spun away from him and walked away. Then, she decided she would go back to Edo. She would stop being a tool for the Bakufu. She cared little if the Bakufu decided to get rid of her. She wanted nothing to do with him. A man without a soul.

"No!" His reaction was immediate, he ran after her and closed the distance between them in a flash. His arms came up around her and pulled her against his chest, stopping her from her track. Tomoe was too shock to fight back against his hold for his voice was startled her. She had never heard him sound that way before, it sounded frantic, like her brother when she left him.

His voice was shaky as he breathed out the words, "I know you see me as a fool who only follow the Shishi's orders. You may laugh at me. I do not understand you and I do not know you but I need you. I may be young but I am able to protect you. I will take care of you not because I have to but because I want to. I promise I won't force you to do things you do not wish. Stay with me, Tomoe." He was smitten with her and that her cool indifference to him did nothing but further his ardour. Kenshin realized he truly liked her. She has already caused him enormous pain by walking away. His enemies could never hurt him the way Tomoe can. He would really go mad if she was to leave him alone to travel to Otsu.

As he spoke, Tomoe rested her hands over the ones around her. Her heart beat faster at his confessions and his proposal. She gently pulled away from him and turned around to meet his eyes. His eyes were pleading and he was waiting for her reply. He was giving her a choice again.

She gazed at the young man she spent her in Kyoto. This was the man who murdered her fiancé. This was the man whom she practically stayed with for months. It was scandalous for a proper woman. And he held her and touched her, which would have been too intimate ways for an unmarried woman. He was her enemy. If she was in her right mind, she would have pushed him away or slapped him for his actions. Why did she let him? Why was she not resisting? Why was he looking at her like that?

"Why are you saying this?" she asked him softly at last.

"Because…. as long as you're with me, I can control my insanity."

….