*Daybreak*: Okay omg I'm sorry I left this for so long! I didn't update and I know this is a shit chapter but at least it is one. Thankyou to all of the wonderful reviewers I had and to the awesome people that got both my number of favourites and followers up above 100! Love you all! Had lots of feedback about the whole pairing thing with different ships and different views about whether there should even be any pairing to begin with. In all honesty I am a yaoi writer but I think I might just wait and see where this story takes me (like I said, I AM a yaoi writer, it probably will unconsciously drift towards it). But not before more Kuroko angst and feelings! Anyway please enjoy this quick update. (BTW couldn't be bothered editing before uploading XP)

Kuroko P.O.V.

"When you hung up on me… this is what you were doing."

Akashi's words were not a question; they were a hard statement that left no room for argument. His grasp on me tightened and he shifted me on his back, trying to make it a little easier for him to carry me.

Not that I even weighed all that much to begin with…

Training had abruptly ended the second I had made the foolish declaration. I had only watched in numb silence as Akashi sent the others a death glare and ordered them to head home, something of which none of them argued to. I could see in the very vivid stares they were shooting me that none of them were happy about it but I made no move to stand up for them.

After all, they hadn't done it for me.

"Put me down," I muttered, my body not having the strength to fight against his touch. I may not have been able to feel the sensation of his skin on mine but it still made me uncomfortable for him to be this close. After all, this man was not the Akashi I had grown up with. He wasn't my friend. He wasn't anyone special to me.

He was just… absolute.

What did that even mean anymore?!

"No," was all he said as an answer, continuing to walk gracefully down the path to my house as if it were perfectly natural to carry someone just a few centimetres shorter than himself.

I let out a long, tired sigh, feeling my own chest relax against his tense back. I couldn't feel his heart thrumming against his ribcage and I couldn't feel the usual level of warmth that was exerted from him. I just couldn't feel any part of him. I was freezing cold and I was nauseous and tired and… and…

And I hurt.

"Who are you?"

Akashi tensed up slightly and his step faltered for the briefest of seconds before he forced himself to continue onwards. "We've been through this already, Tetsuya," he murmured under his breath, heterochromatic eyes facing forward.

"Well, I'm asking you again. Who are you?"

"Akashi Seijuro," he answered, tone beginning to go flat as if the conversation was striking some chord inside of him. "And you? Who are you?"

"I dunno…" I murmured tiredly, finally beginning to feel the tension leave my limbs. I slumped against him, burying my heavy head into his shoulder. "Who am I, Akashi?"

"You're Kuroko Tetsuya," he replied, his grip on me tightening enough that even I noticed it. "Phantom Sixth Player of the Generation of Miracles. You love basketball and your goal for the past year was to defeat all of your old team members and make Seirin #1 in Japan."

"No, I'm not," I murmured, just seeing my apartment complex come into view from over his shoulder.

"And what makes you think that?" Akashi asked under his breath, almost as if he didn't really want to know the answer but had to ask anyway. He trudged up the stairs towards my place before digging his fingers lightly into the soil of the pot plant beside my door, extracting the spare keys I had hidden there on the off chance I looked myself out.

"…I failed my goal," I whispered after a long pause, watching his hand pause on the doorknob to listen to what I had to say.

"But you defeated most of them," Akashi enunciated slowly, his tone cautious as if he were dealing with a potentially dangerous animal that was frightened and ready to attack. "And Seirin came in second thanks to you."

I shook my head rigorously, my forehead brushing over the material on his shoulder in the process. "I failed," I whispered into his jacket. "…I failed… I failed…"

"Enough," Akashi ordered. I shut my mouth immediately, forever the loyal dog that'd had its obedience lessons beaten into it early. "You didn't fail, Tetsuya. Seirin were lucky to have you."

He abruptly opened the door of my pitch black apartment and switched on the light, the sudden brightness making me hiss out in pain. Akashi merely shook his head at my response and quietly took in the bare lounge room, not a comment passing the lips of the boy who I knew had grown up in a house most would kill for. He wordlessly carried me over to the couch and gently laid me down, staring down at me for a very long time before disappearing into another room.

"Where do you keep your blankets?" he called from down the hall.

"Cupboard on the left," I replied, slowly sinking back into the sofa cushions so that I could stare up at the ceiling. I hadn't seen much of it over the last couple weeks, having sat in the dark every night since Akashi had ordered me to quit Seirin. It felt so foreign, so unnatural; almost as if my skin might be set on fire if too much light hit it.

"When was the last time you ate?" the redhead asked as he re-entered the room, a couple blankets in his arms. He placed one on the floor before draping the other over me, tucking it in tightly to make sure there was no unnecessary skin showing.

"Dunno," I answered truthfully, continuing to stare wistfully up at the ceiling.

"Did you have something this morning?" he continued to ask, a touch of frustration entering his voice. I shook my head and he suddenly narrowed his eyes, a very dangerous look entering them. "What about last night?"

I shook my head.

"Did you eat at all yesterday?"

Another head shake.

"The day before?"

And another.

I couldn't help but stare at him as he clenched his jaws. My eyes slowly trailed down his body towards his hands where his fingers were twitching and curling into tight, white fists that looked as if they were ready to strike something.

"You want to hit me."

"What?" Akashi asked in genuine shock, a start breaking his tense form as he stared at me in horror. "Why on earth would I want to do that?!"

"I'm making you angry," was all I said as an explanation, shrugging my shoulders before refixing my attention to the roof.

Akashi let out a weary sigh before pacing back down the hallway, disappearing for a very long time. I kind of had a sneaking suspicion about what he was doing but I made no move to stop him, my ability to give a shit having long since evaporated. When he finally did reappear, it was with a glass of water in one hand and a plate of food in the other, his brows knitted together in a scowl.

"When was the last time you went grocery shopping?" he asked, irritation leaking into his voice as he came to sit on the floor beside the couch. He placed the plate down on the carpet before turning to face me, the cup still tightly wedged in his hands. "Come on, you need to get some fluids into your body."

He slowly pressed the rim of the glass against my lips and, after silently debating with myself about whether I wanted to accept his help, I took a long swig of water. The dryness on my tongue was an unwanted reminder of how long I had gone without proper nourishment and suddenly my stomach gave a loud gurgle, inspiring a smirk from the redhead whose point had just been made.

"Open up," he ordered as he reached back down for the plate. "It's just scrambled eggs since you didn't really give me much variety to work with but I got a feeling this is the best thing for your stomach right now."

He held a forkful up to my mouth but this time I hesitated for a little bit too long, the stretch of silence between us slowly turning Akashi's amused look into one of frustration.

"Tetsuya, this is ridiculous," he growled. "Just eat the damn food."

"I don't want to."

"You haven't eaten in at least three days!" he exclaimed, heterochromatic eyes burning straight into my skull. "It doesn't matter if you want to! If you're going to be stubborn I'll bloody pry your lips open and shove it down your throat!"

"…You're already doing that…"

Almost immediately, we both started into silence, the two of us both surprised by the words that had bubbled up from my throat. Akashi's eyes suddenly narrowed and he watched me expectantly, a silent order to continue forcing its way into my subconscious and making me elaborate.

"If you shove something down my throat…" I murmured, eyes beginning to feel heavy as I stared back into his piercing eyes. "…That'd be the same as choking me, right? Choking and killing me? But… aren't you already doing that…?"

I watched as the boy, my team mate, my captain, slowly swallowed before reaching forward silently, laying the back of his hand on my forehead. No touch was registered by my numb nerves and the only thing I could do was watch in interest, trying to figure out what it was that he was trying to do.

"You're not feeling well," he murmured quietly, suddenly looking as if he had aged a hundred years in a second. He turned away and promptly switched off the light before sitting back against the couch, his flaming red hair being the only part of his head I could now see. "Get some rest. You'll be thinking clearer in the morning. I won't feel as bad about slapping some sense into you then."

I dully watched him for a few moments as he grabbed the other blanket and curled it around himself, trying to get into a spot that he would be comfortable in.

"…Akashi?"

"Mm?"

"When you… when you brought us all back together…" I whispered, my eyes beginning to grow heavier as the darkness curled around me. "Who was it that you wanted me to be?"

Akashi stiffened at my question but he made no move to answer it, his body turning away slightly to break whatever connection we had shared barely a few moments before. I released a silent breath and allowed the darkness to claim me, feeling the night's cold embrace curl around me in a feverish hold.

At least the darkness would never abandon me.

A/N- Just for the record, Akashi is not forgiven, heck, he is still in a lot of shit and he will most likely revert back to being a little shit soon. I just wanted this part in here to kinda touch back a little on the relationship I think the two of them probably would have had if the circumstances were different.