When Mara woke again, Duke was awake and dressed, sitting on the bed reading to her. From what she gathered before she opened her eyes, it was a story about a man raising his baby, all while trying to assume the new job of a Grim Reaper.

Honestly, she would never understand how his brain worked, how his varied interests came together.

"I was expecting Tolstoy. I've never heard this story." Mara croaked, her mouth dry. Someone had been thoughtful enough to put chapstick on her lips when she was out, and she was grateful.

"It's by Christopher Moore, he's genius. How do you feel?"

"Tired. Hurt. But I've had worse. How long was I asleep?"

His hand stroked her hair, his voice a relieved sigh as he answered. "Only a few hours this time. Getting you to take the fever reducer helped, I think. Do you think you can take another dose?"

"Yeah, I can do whatever I need to. Thank you for staying with me, Duke."

"Nowhere else I'd rather be." He pulled her up a little, putting two pills in her mouth and holding the water to her lips so she could swallow them.

She heard the patter of rain still and glanced at him, worried. "Is this weather safe or do you need me to stop the rain?"

"It's not flooding or anything. They're blaming El Nino or La Nina or something. Don't strain yourself."

"Controlling weather isn't usually a strain, Duke. But if it's not hurting anyone, I'll leave it. It's daytime now?"

"About noon."

"You should probably call Dwight or whoever needs to talk to me. I don't want him having to wait to do- whatever the hell he does- because of me."

"Mara, you've been so sick..."

"You said yourself I only slept for a few hours this time, and it was just sleep. Park me on the couch. I really want to be done with my mother, with everything about her."

He looked speculative. "If I say yes, will you eat?"

Oh, food. She hadn't woken up nauseated this time, and she was feeling the hunger pains. "Yes, I'll eat. I'd probably eat raw wildebeest right now, I'm so hungry."

"Fine, deal. But if the fever starts getting high again, the interview is over."

"Whatever makes you happy, Duke."

"And I get to carry you."

She closed her eyes, chuckling quietly. "Fine. Help a girl up?"

His smile made the lines on the edges of his eyes crinkle, and he hopped up, lifting her like she was made of glass, no heavier than a bag of flour. She rested her head against his shoulder as he brought her out of the bedroom, Nathan and Audrey jumping up from their seats when they came out.

"Hi guys."

"Mara, are you okay? Should you be up?" Audrey was already reaching to feel her forehead.

"I'm okay. I just took some Tylenol. Dwight needs to talk to me and I promised Duke I'd eat. I'm allowed to sit on the couch." Duke settled her on the sofa and she pulled his sweater tighter around her. Audrey fussed, setting a blanket over Mara's legs, but Mara couldn't help but smile, squeezing Audrey's hand briefly.

"I'll call Dwight then." Audrey took her phone to the corner to talk quietly with Dwight, leaving Mara alone with Nathan.

There was a moment of tense hesitation, and then they both started talking at once. They stopped and Mara chuckled a little. "I'll go first. I want to thank you for staying here for them, and for helping me. I'm really, really sorry I messed up your week." She bit her lip, suddenly understanding why he'd stayed- because he'd left her in a bad situation once. He was trying to make amends.

Mara was already sick and weak, and she couldn't keep the waver from her voice. "You didn't have to stay. I was okay. I, uh... wasn't alone." She looked away, swallowing hard. She couldn't keep so much hate in her for someone who had just screwed up. He hadn't hurt her on purpose. He'd loved Audrey, and there had been no way for him to know their situation, that Audrey wasn't the original, the owner of the body. He couldn't know what she was. He thought he was loving Audrey, not hurting Mara.

She had to forgive him.

"Mara, I-"

"No, listen, please." She closed her eyes. "This week you knew I wasn't Audrey and I was in trouble, and you tried to do right by me. You wouldn't have known I wasn't Audrey back then, and I was- wrong- to blame you.

"I loved James, and for a long time I loved you. It doesn't matter that I was alone for him. I couldn't have loved him any more if you had been with me. Giving him up was the hardest thing I ever did, but he-" a tear slid from her eyes. "He was an amazing person and he was so happy with the Cogan's. Even knowing what I know now, that you were looking for Audrey, I wouldn't change it. I'm sorry for taking my self-loathing out on you. I meant it when I said I wanted to start over with you, but I realized I couldn't do that and hold on to the anger at the same time."

There was utter silence. Duke had frozen at the stove and Audrey was holding her breath across the room. They'd obviously heard her. Mara was mortified, but there was no sense in healing Nathan's Trouble if she left him hanging, hurting emotionally.

Mara was so tired of hurting people. Accidentally or on purpose- she couldn't take it anymore.

When she finally exhaled, chancing a glance at Nathan, he was wiping his eyes, too.

"Thank you, Mara. That means a lot to me. I'm sorry I didn't understand sooner. I never intended to hurt anyone- not you or Audrey. I hated seeing you so sick, not being able to do anything. I didn't understand until I saw how badly you were suffering. It made me think about a lot of things, things I thought I understood.

"Seeing you and Audrey side by side, you sick and screaming and afraid... the hallucinations you were having, all I could think about was how I'd left you alone, and that just because I'd known about James, it didn't mean you didn't have to live every second of it. That just because I'd skipped that whole part didn't mean you had. Knowing something logically wasn't the same as feeling it or really understanding it. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Can I ask you something without seeming inappropriate, that you can say no to?"

"Of course you can."

The words were barely a whisper. "Can I have a hug?"

He stood immediately and came to her side, sitting and folding her in his arms. Mara hugged Nathan, crying silently into his shoulder. "Thank you. Thank you for trying to understand, and for your help. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Shh. It's going to be okay, Mara. We'll do better from now on."

Mara knew what a heart breaking felt like, but for the first time, she understood what mending an old wound felt like. It was just as painful, and she couldn't stop the tears. "I'm sorry for all the names I called you. I know that you're smart and that you're good. James was like you. I'm sorry I had to give him up, Nathan. If I could have stayed to take care of him, I would have. I'm sorry I couldn't save him. I wish you'd been able to know him better."

"Maybe once you're well, if you want to, we can talk about him. I don't want to set back your recovery. You and Duke are so much alike. I don't want to fight with either of you again."

"I don't want to fight either." Mara whispered next to his ear. "I understand Audrey better now, and I'm glad you're together. Please take care of her. She doesn't know how to ask when she needs help- neither of us do, but when she tries to push you away, pull her closer. It's just because she's scared. I want you both to be happy."

She let go, wiping her eyes with one hand, and reaching to wipe a stray tear off his cheek.

"Can you learn to forgive me, Mara?"

She pushed the sleeves of the Duke's sweater up, exposing her arms to him. "I already forgive you, Nathan."

When there was no flash and her skin stayed unmarked, his shoulders sagged, and he let out a shuddering sigh. Mara slumped too, the tension leaving her. The many years, all the anger and hurt she had been holding onto finally left her and she felt shaky in it's wake. She looked over at Audrey, motioning for her to come over.

When she was close enough, Mara reached to touch her hand. "I'm sorry. I needed to get that out. It was an anchor and I don't want to stay still, trapped in the same place anymore. I want to be able to move forward. I- I care about you both."

Audrey smiled a little, squeezing Mara's hand in her own. "I'm really, really glad you two finally talked. We were all operating under false assumptions. There's a lot for us to learn."

"I'd like to be friends." Her smile was small and sad. "I've never had friends before. But you guys helped me when you didn't have to, and I appreciate it. And thank you both for watching over Duke while I've been... sick."

Audrey reached for Mara's forehead. "You're still warm. You need to eat and drink and keep taking the Tylenol. How long do you think you'll be sick?"

"I wish I knew. If it had been the hundred or so I was expecting, it would be about 7-10 days. I'm in uncharted territory, I've never processed nearly this much. I don't think anyone has. I have to be a lot better before I try to process the rest. I don't know how Duke survived- don't know how I survived. But I'm going to be careful for awhile."

"I know I'd appreciate that." Duke smiled gently, handing Mara a bowl of thick soup. It smelled fantastic. "Lunch is on the stove, bowls on the counter, guys." He took Nathan's place at her side, one hand resting on her leg as she ate. Her body had gone without food for quite some time, and she was ravenous.

"Thank you so much, Duke. For the food and for taking care of me. For not being angry with me. For everything."

Duke lowered his voice so only she could hear him. "What you just did was amazing. I'm proud of you- not just for forgiving him, but for caring enough to think it through for yourself, too. You proved that you're serious about wanting things to be better, and you just gave him a huge gift. He really was shaken up by seeing you like that. I think before what you went through he only understood as an abstract concept. Seeing you really suffering made everything real for him. He wanted to stay just as much as Audrey."

Mara thought for a moment. "I think I hold onto anger so tightly because it was the only feeling that was purely mine. The personalities, they got to make their happy memories and choose their partners and make their own decisions. I never had that luxury before. Now I do, and I don't- I don't want to poison it by holding onto old hurts and thinking the same way I did when I was a prisoner. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does. You're not the only one who gets stuck in an emotional rut. That's something we all need to work on."

"I never thought I'd have a chance to do that- by myself or with anyone. I had almost given up on the wish to be myself. It's one of the few things I really haven't had worse than. The need to just be yourself is so vital that people don't even think about. Existing as the person you are. Making me someone else... at first it felt almost like a joke. How was that so hard? Then I started losing people, and that hurt so much I started to see how the lives were bad.

"It was several cycles before I started really feeling the desperation to be myself. To tell the people I loved who I was, that I was more than just the casing I had been put in. Not long after that, it was madness, absolute mania."

Her eyes closed. Audrey and Nathan had come back as they'd spoken, and she addressed all of them. "I wanted to hear my name. Occasionally, in the Barn times, one of them would address me, but it was always negative. They said it like it was obscene. I wanted to hear my name said by someone I cared for so badly that it was worse than physical pain. It burned, it felt like I was drowning, and every time it got worse.

"Then I came this time, and for whatever reason- William comes here and says my name, pulls me up out of my cage and lets me have my body like he wants me to be free, and the look on his face as he fell through the doorway, he looked like he was happy to see me, like he was relieved."

She blinked and frowned. "After that, I was the adversary again, and I only heard my name said in anger or fear or sorrow. It's really very clever. Send me enough times to want to be myself, then let me be myself but everyone I love hates me- it's a very good form of torture. There is no pain that compares to the pain of truly despising yourself."

Mara shook her head, chuckling quietly. "Sorry. I don't mean to drag you into my problems. I don't usually talk so much. Don't usually have the opportunity. I'm just not feeling well, I don't mean to depress anyone."

Duke's hand tightened on her thigh. "Don't be sorry for talking. Never be sorry for being honest with any of us. You've been with us for a long time, but this is how we get to know you. You kind of have us at a disadvantage, Mara."

"Duke's right." Audrey nodded. "Even the dreams I'm having, they show me so much, but knowing you is very different than knowing how you feel about yourself." She smiled as she said, "You give me grief about lying to myself, but you've got a very skewed view of yourself. You're harder on yourself than we could ever have been on you."

Audrey stood up to put her bowl in the sink, taking Nathan and Mara's on the way. She paused as she came back, bending to hug Mara and kiss her on the head. "I'm glad I get to know you. Being a part of you is very different than being a part of your life."

Mara hugged her back, sighing. There was nothing she could think to say, she was literally lost for words. Just before she let go, Mara whispered, "I'm glad you chose Nathan. For both our sake's. And I'm glad James got to meet you."

There was a knock at the door and Mara was relieved. She wanted them to heal, to be the people she knew they could be, but the journey was still draining. Change took time.

Duke led Dwight in, and as Duke sat, Dwight shook Mara's hand. "Thanks for agreeing to see me, I'm sorry you've been sick."

"Thank you. I'm sorry you got caught up in this."

Dwight sat, shaking his head. "It's not your fault. Everything in Haven has a risk. People tried to warn me, and I chose to ignore them."

"No, please listen to me. My mother- she's never relied on sheer strength, she relies on her brain to get through life and she's had millennia to learn how to manipulate people. She caught you off-guard and once she decided she needed you, she'd have done anything to manipulate you into being with her even if you hadn't been interested in her. You couldn't have known, and you can't blame yourself. I'm just grateful you know about her now and that you were willing to do something about it."

"We're trying to decide what to do with her now. I wanted to get your opinion about it. Can you tell me anything about the laws on your- your world?" Dwight looked uncomfortable with the idea of people coming from another world.

People eating other people? Totally understandable. People from alternate worlds? Bizarre and unimaginable. Mara had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing.

This was her town.

She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "The laws could have changed since I was there last, but illegal experimentation itself has a punishment of lifetime imprisonment. The other things she did, some are legally ambiguous- I was falsely convicted, but I was still legally a prisoner. Experimenting on me, letting William- letting William do what he did to me, even killing the baby to further her research..." Mara covered her mouth, suddenly wishing she hadn't eaten. Duke rested his hand on the back of her neck under her hair in a silent show of support. Mara took a moment before she continued.

"Experimenting on me was technically legal, interfering with your population was not. There's enough information, enough evidence recorded and witnesses to overturn my conviction, but I recommend not involving anyone from there. It's much safer to keep things in your own system. You don't want to draw the attention of any more of my people."

Dwight grimaced. "Sorry, Mara. I didn't mean to make you feel worse."

"No, it's fine. I'm fine." She made a face as the Oath pointed out the lie to the others and Duke caught his breath, but Dwight didn't seem to notice their reactions. Mara sighed. "If you keep her incarcerated, you run the constant risk of her tricking someone into letting her out, and if she gets someone to help her, she could conceivably make another William."

"Are you suggesting..."

"No, Dwight, I'm not expecting you to execute her. This isn't my world or government, and I wouldn't put that on you. There might be another, more secure way, though."

"Whatever suggestions you have, I'm listening." Dwight said earnestly. Mara pitied him for having to manage this situation.

"I could put her in Aether-stasis, it's a kind of medically induced coma or I could create Aetherling guards. Momma is unable to control Aether, it can't be manipulated by psychological games. It doesn't age or forget or die. She hurt the Aether every time she had William alter a gift, it was a slave as much as I was. It could get justice, where others, like me, would be more motivated by revenge."

"You can do that? Make people?" Dwight had the typical New England stoicism, but his eyes widened perceptibly.

"I can give Aether human form, yes. It's not exactly like creating people; it thinks and feels, knows right from wrong, but it's not exactly like the rest of us. It's the essence of life, the thing that touched barren rocks and made them sprout grass, that made life on both our worlds. It understands more than we do and it sees farther. What she and William forced the Aether to do was more of a crime in my mind than what they did to me. I'm completely willing to form as many guards as you need, so they can all get a chance and so they can rest, to show it respect, but it's your world, it's your decision.

"Whatever you decide, I would like to formally request sanctuary here. You know I wasn't born here, and that makes me an outsider. You have the right to send me away. I have a responsibility to Haven though, and I'd like to see it through. I would like permission to stay."

Her stomach sat heavy and uncomfortable as they all looked around at each other. She had surprised them. She hadn't had to ask, but these people had been hurt and taken advantage of by her people, and she wanted to offer a show of respect, and of gratitude; a sign that she really was trying.

"You don't have to ask that, Mara." Nathan finally replied.

"No, I do. I adopted this world- this town- but you didn't have the choice to take me in. It's only right that I honor your autonomy. Even if you send me back, I'll do my best to protect you, but it's your choice if I stay."

She was calm, putting on a brave front, but she was terrified. If they chose to send her home, whether or not they kept Charlotte as a prisoner, she would have to undergo a full exoneration, which could take a very long time, and she had nobody there anymore. When her father hadn't spoken on her behalf when she was first charged, when nobody had come for her after first 50 and then 100 years, she had resigned herself to being alone. She wondered with a dull ache if her baby had been given a grave. Snatched away so very close to life.

Knowing Charlotte, Mara very much doubted it.

"Of course you can stay. I'm sorry for everything that happened, everything we believed about you. You belong here as much as any of us, Mara," Dwight reached out to put a hand over hers and she closed her eyes, relieved. "I'll talk to Vince and the rest of the Guard, but I think your idea of Aether-guards is probably the safest idea I've heard yet."

"I don't know if William can get back. He's able to travel the Void, and if the denizens there didn't get him, he could technically find a way back. If you need, I can draw pictures of him so you can make sure everyone knows who to look for. He is still bound to me, so I'd appreciate if you didn't shoot on sight, but he's a danger to anyone with Troubles in their family.

"When I'm well, we'll need to talk about curing the Troubles. We can do it, now. Just not while I'm so ill."

"I'll make sure everyone is notified and is being safe. Pictures would help, so thank you for that. We can wait to spread the news about the Troubles- don't want them beating down your door while you're so sick. How are you feeling, by the way?"

"The last few days have been hard- worse on them than on me, but it's going to take some time to heal. I was just thinking I should probably take more of the fever reducer. It keeps going back up- it's normal for the illness. I'd just like to get it headed back down before I start hallucinating again. If people do drugs for that, I don't think I have any interest in drugs."

Duke already had the tablets in his hand, and he felt her forehead as he handed them over. "Yeah, damned fever is going back up. I'm afraid the interview is over for right now, Dwight. I told her only as long as the fever stayed down. She's got to rest."

"I've got what I need for right now. It's important that you focus on getting well right now, Mara. Let them take care of you. I'll be in touch, and I can leave messages with Duke if you're resting. If you want to talk to me about anything, call any of the numbers on this card- I put my home and personal cell phone on too. You can call me anytime, day or night.

"What you did, Mara- it was really brave. Thank you. I'm sorry about everything."

"No, Dwight. You're a good person, and she's an expert manipulator. Please don't blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. I trust you, I believe in you." She blinked, trying to cover a yawn. "I'm sorry. I just- don't let her turn your heart. Better to be open and hopeful than closed off and angry. Trust me."

Dwight kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, Mara. Get some rest. I'll see myself out, you guys relax."

Mara was already half asleep, head resting on Duke's shoulder. "Mara, do you want to rest out her or lie down?"

"Mm. Comfortable here. You visit. Maybe read more later?"

All three of them chuckled quietly. "Whatever you want, Mara." Duke pulled her against him so they were laying together on the couch, and she fell asleep listening to his heart.