A/N: I was lucky enough to be interviewed by Hollie, who goes by the name 'WTF am I doing' (period in between each word) at the Twimusesdotcom blog. Go to my profile and click on the link if you'd like to read the interview! It'll give you a bit more insight on Edward and Bella in this story.
Some of you have asked again, so I'll say again, this story will be about 20 chapters or so. We are at about the halfway point right now. I try to update weekly, but there may be weeks I miss (such as last week) and weeks where I update twice (such as the week before that), but all in all, I expect to be done with this story by the end of the summer. (Or so).
My girl Danna0724 betad this longish chapter.
All characters belong to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with a not-so-perfect Edward.
Chapter 11 – War Games
Chapter Song Rec: Uprising by Muse
"Tell me again why the fuck you're taking Victoria to dinner with Bella tonight?" Emmett sat on the couch in my office, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his long legs and his hands laced together.
"First of all, it's not dinner. Its pre-dinner drinks," - I smirked, standing in front of the large mirror on the wall and knotting my tie - "and second, it's not with Bella, it's with Bella and her fiancée," I clarified.
"So fucking what?" Emmett barked. "What are you trying to prove?"
"I'm not trying to prove shit," I said, a bit too defensively.
"Then why the fuck do you need to take Victoria tonight?" He leaned in more and lowered his voice, even though the door to my office was closed. "I thought…" – he tightened his lips - "I thought you had a thing for Bella."
I finished adjusting my tie and turned to face my brother. "I'm sorry, are you having trouble understanding the fact that she's engaged, and that her fucking fiancée will be there tonight?"
Emmett shook his head and twisted his upper lip. "You know Edward, Rosie's right. You do need to thank your lucky stars for that face of yours, 'cause you seriously know jack shit about how to get the woman you want."
I glared at him for a few seconds before turning and walking to my desk to finish the reports I'd come in to work on.
"Tonight has nothing to do with what I may want or not want."
"Then what the hell does it have to do with Edward?" Emmett asked. "Look, it's become pretty obvious to more than just me over the past couple of weeks that there's more than just friendly feelings there between you and Bella, and shoving your admittedly-hot-but-cold-as-ice-bitch of a fuck buddy in Bella's face is not the way to go bro."
I looked at him coolly and snorted. "The only thing that's obvious Em, is that Bella wants to make sure I'm aware of where the boundaries lie. And I'm not trying to shove Victoria in her face."
Emmett's eyes narrowed. "But you are trying to shove her in someone's face," he deduced. He tilted his head and frowned. "You got beef with B's fiancée bro, I mean, other than for the fact that he's…well he's B's fiancée?"
I squared my jaw, my shoulders stiffening, but didn't answer. My blind hatred of Mike, and all the number of reasons why, was something I'd keep to and deal with myself. I had a plan for tonight; for showing Mike who the hell had ended up being the asshole. And yeah, part of that plan may have involved shoving Vicki in his face. Because she may have been a cold bitch like Emmett said, but she was an undeniably beautiful cold bitch. Any man with two eyes in his head would see that.
I let out a large gust of air, my shoulders sagging.
Vicki may have been beautiful, but she was…absolutely nothing next to Bella. Any man with two eyes in his head would be able to see that too. But she would serve as my date tonight, my distraction, and Mike would never know that while Vicki would be the one at my side, his fiancée was the one in my heart and in my mind. I squared my shoulders again. Knowledge was power, and that bit of knowledge was a power I'd never give him again.
Emmett shook his head and stood up, walking to the door. He turned one last time. "You're playing this game all wrong little bro, but I guess you're just gonna have to learn that on your own."
"I'm not playing a game Emmett," I said, meeting his eyes.
He snorted and chuckled. "You're right. You know that saying, 'All's fair in love and war?'"
I rolled my eyes and nodded, leaning back in my chair. "Yeah, I know the saying."
He shook his head. "If you feel about Bella the way I think you do, you are in a war." He paused and looked at me squarely. "Just make sure you fight the right battles."
OOOOOOOOOO
It was ten after six when I parked the car in a lot down the street from Chapel, a restaurant bar in downtown Seattle catering to twenty-somethings out for good food and premium drinks. The space itself was quirky; located in a converted funeral chapel. The restaurant wasn't very far from Eclipse, nestled in between a row of trendy restaurants on Melrose Avenue.
I cut the engine on the Audi, my first gift to myself once business at Eclipse had exploded, and looked over at my passenger. Victoria sat across from me with her long legs crossed, her tight skirt riding up all the way to her upper thighs. With the car's overhead mirror down, she traced her bottom lip carefully with a blood-red stick, circling around her entire mouth with the precision of a surgeon. And around and around she went again.
"Jesus Christ, aren't you ready yet? We're already ten minutes late," I said impatiently.
She sighed and lifted her brows, circling once more before methodically closing the stick and putting the mirror back up. She turned to me with her black glittery eyes and impossibly red lips.
"Yes, I'm ready," she said coolly.
I rolled my eyes and put my hand on the handle to open the door. Vicki grabbed my arm before I could get out.
"Don't think just because you asked me out for drinks with your friends I've forgiven you for last week."
"I wouldn't dare think such a thing," I said sarcastically.
"And don't think I'm gonna fuck you at the end of the night either."
"Vicki, I asked you out for drinks. Nothing else," I said clearly, knowing full well how full of shit she was. If I wanted to fuck her at the end of the night, it wouldn't take much work on my part. It never had.
Twilight was just approaching as we walked towards the restaurant. People strolled up and down the neighborhood, enjoying the dry evening and fading light of day. Vicki put her arm through mine, and we were halfway up the block when the evening breeze wafted the neighboring scents through the air, mixing with the sweet scent of strawberries.
Bella was standing outside the restaurant - her eyes focused in the opposite direction from which we approached - and it simply took one look at her for me to realize how ridiculously ambitious my plans for the evening had been. Pretend I didn't want her? Is that what I'd been planning?
She wore a simple black wrap dress which fell over her knees and clung elegantly from every single curve on her body. Her hair was up in a braided bun, and even from here I could see the wisps of hair that still framed her creamy skin. Red toenails peeked out from her black heeled sandals, and her lips wore a matching red gloss. She took one of those lips between her teeth as we approached, and for a fraction of a second I completely forgot why we were here. I forgot that I had someone else hanging on my arm. All I could see was the heartbreakingly beautiful woman with the nervous expression a few feet from me, and my mouth involuntarily turned up at the edges. She craned her neck further out in the opposite direction, searching, and I was about to call her name, when an arm suddenly went around her waist and a pair of lips moved close to her ear.
The smile fell from my lips. In an instant I forced all expression off of my face, and by the time Bella turned her head in the opposite direction and saw me, my face was a mask of nothing.
Bella's face broke out into a huge grin when she saw me, but in the following instant her smile faltered. Her eyes moved just to the left of me and her expression shifted. When she smiled again, it wasn't the same smile she'd been wearing just a couple of seconds before.
The shift in her expression caught the attention of the man who'd just had his lips by her neck, a neck I'd been licking and sucking on in my dreams just a few hours ago, and he turned his attention in our direction. He looked right past me, his eyes falling momentarily on Vicki and roaming up and down appreciatively. My lip twisted up in a snarl. Not because he'd gazed appreciatively at the woman next to me, but because of the woman next to him. After a couple of seconds his eyes drifted on, apparently not realizing who we were. In a few steps we'd reached them, and Bella looked up at me while Mike's eyes kept roaming down the street.
"Edward."
"Bella, you look lovely this evening."
She blushed and Mike's head whipped back, staring at me incomprehensively for a few seconds before recognition finally dawned on him.
"Cullen?" he exclaimed, wide-eyed.
"Newton."
His jaw fell to the floor.
"Oh shit, Cullen," he finally laughed, sticking his hand out to shake mine. I looked down at it for a split-second longer than necessary before extending my own. We gripped each other's hands hard, and I was momentarily gratified at the way he tried to subtly shake his hand out when we let go.
"Shit," he said again, "I wouldn't have known you from Adam. I can't believe how much you've…changed." He looked over at Bella quickly, but her head was down, and the second he looked away she looked up and met my eyes. The strangely smug look in them, as if she were somehow pleased by Mike's reaction, made me want to laugh. She looked down again as if she were trying to hide her own smile.
"Yes, well, you look…exactly the same," I said evenly. His face hadn't changed much, and other than for the fact that he'd traded his letterman jacket for a dark, pin-striped suit better suited for a board room meeting than for drinks at a restaurant, it would've been the same Mike Newton from high school. But when my eyes traveled up to the top of his forehead, I was pretty sure I saw the beginnings of a receding hairline. I stifled another laugh.
Mike seemed to realize where my eyes had gone, especially since I hadn't been subtle about it.
He chuckled nervously. "Well, not exactly the same."
I gave him a phony chuckle in return.
Someone next to me cleared her throat.
"Bella, I…think you've met Vicki."
Bella smiled pleasantly. "Good to see you again Vicki."
"Likewise," I heard Vicki answer coolly.
"And this…is Mike." It would be a cold day in hell before I introduced him to anyone as Bella's fiancée. Fuck that. I swallowed and kept the phony smile plastered to my face.
Once we'd done with all the introductions we all turned and walked into the restaurant, and I had to restrain myself from pulling Mike's arm off as he led Bella in by placing his hand on the small of her back.
Cue longest ninety minutes of my life. Ever.
We were seated at one of the high tables by the bar.
"This is great!" Mike exclaimed as soon as the four of us were seated. "As soon as Bella told me she'd bumped into you Edward, I knew we just had to get together."
"Yeah, I'm sure you did," I answered dryly.
Mike smiled curiously, and Bella bit her lip, wrinkling her forehead. She adjusted her napkin over her lap.
When the waitress approached us, Mike ordered a bottle of '96 Bordeaux for the table.
Bella gently put her hand on his arm to get his attention. "Mike, you know I don't drink wine," she said softly.
"Just try a glass of this one sweetie," he smiled, the condescension in his voice, as well as the term of endearment, making me bristle. "You'll like it. You'll see." Then he turned back to the waitress. "And please bring-"
"Actually," I cut in, getting the waitress' attention. Her eyes grew wide and she grinned widely at me. "I won't be having wine tonight. Just bring me a bottle of Sam Adams Reserve, please. Vicki, how about you?"
"I actually think I'll try the wine," she giggled. Traitor.
"Bella, how about you? Would you like a Sam Adams?" It was what we'd been drinking the night we'd all had dinner and a movie at her place, and if I remembered correctly – and I was pretty sure I did – she'd been really fond of them.
She bit her lip. "Uhm, no, that's fine. I'll just try the wine."
I stared at her for two seconds before looking away.
"So Edward, Bella tells me you run a club not too far from here," Mike said. I turned to look at him. He was watching me with a pleasant smile.
"My brother Emmett and I own it, actually."
"Mike, I did say he owns it," Bella clarified, putting her hand gently on his arm and blushing.
He furrowed his brows and smiled at her. "Did you sweetie?"
"Yes."
"And I'm there to make sure it's the hottest dance club in Seattle," Vicki grinned vainly. She moved in closer to me and threaded her arm through mine.
Bella's eyes traveled to where Vicki was holding me and then looked back up quickly. "Edward and Emmett's club is the place to be in Seattle," she said, smiling again.
Mike reached out and wrapped his hand around Bella's left hand over the table. I resisted the almost overwhelming urge to shove it off.
"So I take it it's a popular spot?" he asked.
"It's pretty successful, yes," I replied, nodding.
He grinned. "Well we'll definitely have to toast to that when our drinks get here then. Actually, I wanted to thank you Edward. Bella says you had a hand in helping her get her current job." He turned his head towards her slightly. "Not that I think someone with your current opportunities in New York-"
"Mike," she warned quietly.
He smiled. "Sorry sweetie. We'll talk about it later."
Jesus, we were five minutes into this farce of a night and I was already a hair's breadth away from beating Mike to a bloody pulp.
"You don't need to thank me Mike. That's what friends are for, right?"
I stared closely at him, looking for the jealousy, for the bitterness, for the look that would clearly say 'stay the fuck away from my fiancée,' so that I could laugh in his fucking face. So that this time I could be the one to make him squirm.
But he smiled again; nothing but gratitude evident in the set of his features. "You're absolutely right man. That is what friends are for. And Bella's lucky to have run into you again. I remember you both were good friends back in high school, and I'm glad to know she's got you and a group of friends she can count on now here in Seattle."
I searched for the insincerity in his tone, in the gleam of his blue eyes, so that I could call him out on it and expose him for the fucking phony he'd always been.
But I couldn't find it. He smiled at me gratefully once more and gave Bella's hand a tight squeeze.
What. The Fuck?
"So I hear you're in mergers and acquisitions back in New York?" I asked, trying to give myself some time to figure out his game plan, as well as to turn the attention back to him. Someone with his ego wouldn't be able to resist the chance to drone on and on and make himself sound like an overbearing asshole.
He sat back against his seat and drew in a deep breath. "Yeah," he said off-handedly. "I was lucky enough to intern while still at NYU with one of the big three financial houses on Wall Street, and…well," he turned to Bella and she smiled softly at him, "I guess I was just in the right place at the right time." He let his eyes rest on Bella for a few seconds.
After a moment she blinked. "You earned it Mike," she added, almost as an afterthought.
He smiled at her and squeezed her hand again, and God, I'd never wanted to rip a man's arm off as much as I did tonight.
"Yeah well," he said with a shrug, "I think in the past couple of months I've come to realize there are more important things than the proverbial corner office." He shook his head quickly. "But enough about me. Tell me more about you, Edward. What else have you been up to since we left high school?"
His request caught me off guard. I'd been expecting him to talk about himself for hours and show himself off to be an arrogant prick.
"I…uhm…"
Just then our drinks arrived. The waitress poured everyone except me a glass of wine, and then placed a bottle of Sam Adams and an empty glass in front of me, batting her eyelashes at me the whole time. Vicki openly glared up at her and tightened her arm around mine. Ignoring the glass and the women, I took a long swig straight from the bottle.
What the fuck was going on here? This wasn't the Mike Newton I'd been expecting. I'd more or less expected him to be surprised by the Edward Cullen he found before him now. No longer zit-faced, four-eyed, or lanky. And fuck, I'd counted on that rattling him, making him hostile and fuck…yeah, jealous. I'd expected hard glares and veiled warnings that I could blatantly enjoy and then ignore with a wide grin.
But instead I'd gotten gratitude and a fucking blessing to me and Bella's friendship, and modesty about his own success. No matter how hard I searched, no where behind his eyes could I see a contradiction to his words.
Mike swirled his wine glass around a couple of times before taking a sip. "Delicious," he stated.
"It is, isn't it?" Vicki agreed. "This is a perfect bottle you've picked out Mike," she complimented him.
"Thank you," he replied pleasantly. "I've become a bit of a…a wine connoisseur, I guess you can say, in the past few years, and I'm always trying to get Bella to try different ones, aren't I sweetie?"
"But as I keep telling you Mike, I just don't like wine." Bella smiled at him, but I thought I detected a slight hint of frustration in her eyes.
"Come on sweetie, just take a sip. I promise you'll like this one."
"Mike…" she complained. I studied them both through narrowed eyes.
"Just one sip Bella. You'll see. You'll like this one."
She stared at him for a few seconds, and then sighing, picked up her glass and took a hesitant sip. She swallowed slowly, and I could tell from the blank expression on her face that she hadn't enjoyed it.
"So what do you think?" Mike asked her.
She gave him another one of her soft smiles, making me cringe internally.
"It's okay, I guess."
Mike smiled widely. "See, I told you."
Her eyes met mine for a fraction of a second before she looked down at the wine glass in her hands.
Vicki giggled. "I'm always trying to get Edward to try new things too but he is just so stubborn," she laughed, clinging tightly to my arm.
"I'm not stubborn," I said, keeping my eyes on my beer bottle, "I simply don't need someone telling me what to like or not like."
Vicki giggled again. "Yeah, that's not being stubborn."
Out of my periphery, I could see Bella biting her lip with her eyes still on her own glass.
For the next hour or so, we kept up a conversation about mundane topics, though Vicki and Mike carried most of the conversations, while Bella smiled nervously and I tried not to bash my beer bottle over Mike's balding head.
The shit of it was, he wasn't even being an asshole. A bit pompous, maybe, but other than that, he laughed pleasantly, carried on a normal conversation, tried to include me in as much of the talk as possible, and other than holding Bella's hand and occasionally giving it a slight squeeze, did nothing to overtly shove his relationship with her down my throat.
I'd never hated him more.
I'd been ready for Mike Newton, all-star jock, high-school golden boy, petty, self-absorbed, self-centered prick. And I'd wanted to gloat. I'd wanted to see the discomfort in his eyes, even the anger, at the knowledge that Bella was thousands of miles away from him and in my company now. Not in Crusty Cullen's company, a four-eyed zit-faced geek Mike had never had any reason to be jealous of, but in Edward Cullen's company, a man who admittedly had women falling left and right for him, and as successful a man as he was.
But there was no discomfort, no jealousy, no envy. I'd been cheated out of all of it, and not even the slight bulge around Mike's middle that showed through when he unbuttoned his suit jacket could make up for that.
I picked up my bottle, downed it and ordered another one.
Seventy-three minutes into this sham, that undeniably pleasant goddamned smile was still plastered onto Mike's face. "So Bella tells me she and Alice have got you watching their crappy '80s movies?"
"They're not too bad, I suppose," I answered with my own smile. I tried to ignore the sharp, stabbing pain in my chest.
Bella, I'd learned in the past hour or so, had a habit of sharing everything she said or did here in Seattle with her fiancée all the way at the other end of the country. And apparently our movie night - a night that up until three seconds ago I'd thought had perhaps been something special between me us - was no exception.
"Well, you're a better man than I am for indulging them with that one," he laughed, taking a sip of his second glass of wine. Bella's sat mostly untouched in front of her. Vicki was on her third. "I think that's one of the reasons Alice and I…don't see eye to eye," he went on. "She insists on having Bella embrace her inner teenager, whereas I think it's important to leave all that behind."
"Mike," - Bella warned again softly - "not now."
"I'm just saying sweetie," Mike continued, "that we're adults now, with adult responsibilities. What do you guys think?" he asked, looking across the table.
"I think you're absolutely right," Vicki chimed in right away. "That's why I'm so glad Edward isn't like his brother Emmett, who thinks life is one big amusement ride-"
I cut the traitor off. "I agree that we're no longer who we were as teenagers," I said coolly, trying to control myself, "though as my brother Emmett constantly reminds me, life is about much more than just the bottom line." I looked up and met Mike's eyes. "Though I can see why some of us would want to leave our inner teenagers behind. It might not necessarily be someone we'd be proud of as adults."
Silence surrounded our table for the space of ten seconds. I held Mike's gaze. Waiting. That had to force some sort of reaction from him. I waited for the unavoidable sneer; for the thinly veiled jab, for him to tell me to go fuck myself so that I could grin wryly and show Bella what she was really engaged to.
Nothing.
Fuck.
He met my gaze and shit, instead of anger, I could swear I saw shame in his expression. After a few seconds he looked down at his wine glass. When I looked at Bella she was watching me with her brows furrowed in confusion.
"Mike," she said, turning her eyes to him, "Al and I aren't necessarily trying to embrace our inner teenagers, but sometimes it feels…good to keep some of who we were as a teenager alive. Sometimes who we were as kids, before the responsibilities of adulthood took over, is the best measure of what we are as adults." Her eyes flashed to me for just a split second. Mike kept his eyes on his wine glass and didn't answer. Bella swallowed and picked up her wine glass, tracing the edges of the top with her index finger. "And sometimes it's not."
"That's a very simplified way of looking at things Bella," Vicki volunteered.
Bella looked at Vicki as if she'd forgotten she was there. "Things don't always need to be complicated."
Vicki smiled at Bella. "You are very…young Bella, aren't you? How long have you been out of college again?"
Bella stared at Vicki and didn't answer.
"Bella's only a couple of years younger than me Vicki," I answered for her. Vicki glared at me.
When Vicki excused herself a few minutes later to run to the ladies room, Mike turned to me.
"Edward…I want to apologize if I said anything earlier that may have come out…wrong."
I snorted. "You didn't-"
He cut me off. "Hold on for a sec. Let me just get this out." He took a deep breath and looked at me through eyes full of self-reproach. "Look, I know I wasn't exactly…decent to you back in high school. In fact, I was pretty much an asshole. I want to apologize," he said evenly. "I don't know if Bella told you, but I lost my parents a couple of years ago to a drunk-driving accident…"
The urge to roll my eyes was…overwhelming, and yeah, I knew how fucked up that was. He trailed off and became silent. I looked at Bella. She'd turned their joined hands over and now she was the one tightening her grip on his hand, her eyes full of his pain. I swallowed hard and forced myself to look away.
Mike cleared his throat. "Anyway, I've come to realize what's really important in life." He looked back up at me. "Again, I want to thank you for being there for Bella over these past couple of weeks."
"Like I said, it's no big deal," I repeated.
"But it is," Mike insisted. "Bella is very…independent. I mean, do you have any idea how hard I had to work at getting that ring on her finger?" he joked. Bella smiled and looked down. "It took two years of begging her for a simple date. But you know what they say…sometimes it takes a tragedy for two people to realize how much they mean to each other. Anyway, I just want you to know I'm not the jerk I was in high school. I've grown, and I've learned. I know what makes Bella happy, and I'll use that knowledge as much as I can."
I frowned, because for the slightest fraction of a second, I thought I saw something in his eyes.
But whatever it had been was quickly gone.
"You know," Mike said, "Bella was telling me how nice the waterfront here in Seattle's become. She said you and she had a good time there the other night. Maybe next time I'm down we can all go out for a proper dinner there, instead of just drinks? All of us, including Alice and her new guy, and your brother Emmett. What do you think Edward?"
For the love of all that's holy, had nothing over the past couple of weeks been sacred to Bella?
She'd told him everything. Even our day down by the waterfront had been fair game. My heart contracted painfully, but I kept my face blank and forced myself to meet Bella's eyes. She was smiling, but there was something off about her smile. For a split second, something flashed through my mind; an image, a memory of a dream.
"You have to fight…because I'm lost too…"
In the next millisecond I saw a snippet of this morning's dream flash behind my eyes; an image of Bella, naked and on top of me, moaning in ecstasy.
I forced it all out of my mind.
"Sounds like a plan."
"Alright then," he grinned widely. "I really wish we could've had more time to catch up tonight, but I'm only here for one night this trip, and well…I'm sure you understand how anxious I am to spend some time with Bella."
"Of course," I agreed, digging my fingers into the wood under the table.
"And then she's got to work tonight, on top of it all," he added with a roll of his eyes. "I don't understand-"
"Mike, I told you I couldn't get out of it," Bella told him. "It'll only be Rosalie and me behind the bar tonight."
Mike shook his head and smiled, leaning close to her ear. "At least we'll have some privacy at the Hilton afterwards." Bella turned beet red and looked down, tracing the edge of her glass again.
And I'd had enough of this shit. I had to get the fuck out of here, away from them, before I did something really stupid.
"Well, tell Bella to let us know when you'll be back in town, and we'll set something up," I said, trying to sound as pleasant and nonchalant as possible. Mike's phone rang just then and he excused himself from the table, leaving Bella and I alone for the first time all evening.
Neither one of us looked at the other. The silence surrounding us was deafening, especially in comparison to the loud chatter and tingling glasses from the other tables around us. Studiously avoiding Bella's gaze, I sat back in my seat, running the tips of my fingers back and forth along the edges of the table.
"You know, you really shouldn't do that," came a soft, slightly shaky voice from across the table. Bella continued speaking to me with her eyes on her full glass of wine. "I waitressed at a restaurant once, and they give these chairs and tables only the most perfunctory of cleanings, and with a dirty rag at that. That edge there is probably swarming with germs and all sorts of bacteria," she rambled.
I ran my fingers along the table in longer, more purposeful motions. She sighed and took a rare sip from her wine glass.
"How's your wine?" I asked, finally looking at her, my voice laced in sarcasm.
She swallowed thickly. "Not too bad," she answered, still not looking at me. "I suppose it grows on you."
"Does it now?" I snorted, with the same tone of sarcasm. I picked up my beer bottle. "Well this here tastes mighty good," I grinned, and then took a huge drink, smacking my lips together exaggeratedly once I was done. When I brought the bottle down she was watching me impassively. "But tonight you're not a beer type of girl are you, Bella?"
We glared at each other.
"Would you like some Bella?" I held the bottle out to her. She watched me through inscrutable eyes.
Vicki chose that moment to return. "Are you ready to go?" she asked, standing next to me.
"Yeah." I smirked, keeping my eyes on Bella. I slammed the beer bottle back down on the table. Bella flinched almost imperceptibly, but said nothing. "I'm ready."
Mike returned and we all said our goodbyes, promising to have another fun night like this once again next time he was in town. Vicki snaked her arm through mine again and we were just about to walk away when a soft hand landed on my shoulder, and as much as part of me wanted to keep walking and ignore it, because the feel of it brought as much pain as pleasure, I turned around.
Bella looked at me sheepishly. "Edward don't…don't forget tomorrow night we're watching another movie, at our place. The eighties aren't over yet," she joked weakly. I didn't smile back. Her grin faltered. "You'll…you'll be there, right?"
My heart clenched painfully.
That day in high school, when I'd run and refused to look back, was so much easier than this.
"Yeah. Sure I'll be there."
Before turning back around, my eyes fell on Mike, and for the first time all evening, I thought I saw something closer to what I'd been expecting all night flash in his eyes.
Anger. Jealousy. Pure undisguised loathing.
By the time I blinked, his mouth was turned up in his pleasant grin, and I realized it'd just been wishful thinking on my part. He shook his head and laughed. "Like I said before Cullen, you're a better man than me."
We left the restaurant, leaving Bella and her fiancée to their dinner alone.
OOOOOOOOOO
Somehow, I ended up in front of my place instead of at the club. It wasn't until I'd parked the car that I even remembered Vicki was in the passenger seat next to me.
I sighed and turned the ignition back on. "Let me drop you off at the club."
She snorted and shook her head. "You are so fucked up its not even funny."
"Look," I growled. "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit, so let me just drop you off at the club-"
Before I could finish my sentence she'd leaned over and wrapped her arms around my neck, plunging her tongue inside my mouth.
I pushed her off. "Victoria, I don't have the patience for this shit tonight."
"Why?" she grinned impishly. "Because you've fallen for someone who's engaged?"
I didn't answer, which was apparently all the confirmation she needed.
She snorted and shook her head again. "Do you think I'm fucking blind or stupid? God, it was obvious the second you laid eyes on her! Do you even realize what the first words out of your mouth were when we got there? 'You look lovely tonight Bella.' Like I was some sack of shit standing next to you. You never even told me how I looked tonight Edward!"
I closed my eyes and exhaled through my nose. "Shit Vicki, I'm sorry. You do look…nice tonight."
She chuckled humorlessly. "Oh Edward," she said, shaking her head. And then she brought her mouth to mine again.
I pushed her away again. "Why are you doing this, if you know…"
She rolled her eyes. "What are you going to do Edward? Turn into a monk now because you can't have the girl you want?" I didn't answer. She laughed before sighing loudly and tilting her head to the side, studying me. "What do you think little Miss Bella will be doing tonight once dinner is over, huh? You think she and her fiancée will be watching TV until the wee hours of the morning? One of those eighties movies she plays for you? No. She will be fucking her fiancée's brains out, while you lie in your bed all alone," she taunted, "thinking of her and dreaming of movie night tomorrow."
The image she painted brought on a whole new level of rage. My breathing hardened, my nostrils flared. I glared at her, fiery red hair to match a fiery red heart. She smiled wickedly. And then I grabbed that red hair and brought my mouth down on hers roughly, our lips smacking together audibly. I could feel her still smiling against my mouth, and it infuriated me even more.
"You know this means nothing to me," I told her, trying to wipe the smile off her face. But she only laughed.
"We'll see about that."
Somehow we made it into my apartment, slamming the door loudly behind us as I pushed her up against it, stripping her coat off and grabbing her wild curls between my hands before bringing my mouth to her neck. She tugged my dinner jacket off with the same brusqueness and threw it on the floor, ripping the front of my shirt open and turning and pushing me against the door. The buttons scattered about with quiet clinks. I grabbed the front of her shirt angrily between both hands and tore it in half, the silky material flowing to the floor in two pieces. She gasped and then laughed again, before throwing her arms around my shoulders, running her nails down my back and up again, pulling my hair roughly while our mouths traveled hungrily up and down each other's chests. And all the time, I didn't let myself think, I pulled and pushed, sucked and nipped, losing myself in what she gave easily, focusing on her red hair, her cool blue eyes, putting brown and soft and unattainable behind me.
Victoria's hands went down to my pants and she lowered my zipper quickly, snaking her hand in roughly. I moaned at the feel of her hand around me; pleasure, pain, guilt, rage, all mixing and tumbling together inside. With her other hand she quickly undid the button and my pants dropped to the floor, and then she was freeing me and stroking me back and forth unapologetically.
"God Edward, I've missed this," she hissed, using both hands while my mind swam. I threw my head back against the wall and focused on the here and now; on the woman paying me her attentions, telling me- damn it showing me that she wanted to be with me.
My hands went under Victoria's tight skirt, pulling it up quickly to her waist and ripping her panties off. With no warning I sunk two fingers deep inside her.
She cried out loudly. "Yes Edward. Oh God yes," she groaned.
Images suddenly flooded my mind; a soft, warm face with long brown hair, her eyes sparkling with joy when she caught sight of me, smiling mischievously as we played pool, telling me all her secrets by the dim light of the TV, staring out at the setting sun with me.
'Your eyes are windows Edward…'
'The lead singer reminds me of you Edward…'
'I'd like to be good friends again Edward…'
'Maybe you've never looked close enough to see it…'
"Edward…yes Edward…" Victoria breathed, while my fingers pumped in and out of her.
And then suddenly, images from a vague dream attacked me.
Bella on top of me, rocking softly. 'Edward…yes Edward…'
'This is about you and me…this has always been just about you and me…'
'You have to fight…I'm lost too…'
"Oh God Edward, I need more. I want you inside me. Now…" Vicki begged.
'Don't you feel what I feel Edward?'
"Fuuuck!" I growled, pushing Victoria away from me.
She scampered back, wide-eyed, breathing hard. "What? What is it?" she panted.
"I…" – I ran a frustrated hand through my hair – "I can't do this."
Victoria stared at me for a long time.
"I'm sorry," I finally said, breathing hard, "but I can't do this. I…Victoria, I think you and I are better off as just…friends. I can't pretend-"
She scowled at me. "What do you think Edward? That after I've helped you build Eclipse into what it is today, you're just going to throw me off to the side? You think you're just going to push me out of the picture and bring your little Ivy League princess to take my place at the club?"
"No! This has nothing to do with her or with the club!"
"This has everything to do with her!" Vicki screamed. She adjusted her skirt and ran her fingers through her red curls, marching around the room and picking her coat off the floor.
"You want to be a sorry sack of shit and pine over a girl you can't have, that's your fucking problem!" she spat, putting her coat on over her bra and buttoning it up. Her shirt and panties lay in tatters on the floor. "But don't think for one second that you're going to push me out of Eclipse! I made that club what it is, and I'm not letting you take it away from me!"
"That's not my intention!" I yelled back. "I just think we should go back to only having a business relationship!"
She stalked over to me. "That's what you want" - she hissed, blue eyes burning - "then that's how you'll have it! But don't come running to me when little Miss Ivy League ties the knot and leaves you staring after her and holding her lacy white train up like a fucking pussy!"
With that, she turned and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.
I stared after her for a long time. Not because I regretted letting her go. My mind was a fucking mess. I had no idea what I was doing, or why. Victoria had been partially right, at least. Bella would be tying the knot one day soon, and what the fuck would I be doing then?
What was I doing now?
I threw my head up and roared. Roared like a fucking lion. I stormed to the middle of the room and picked the coffee table up, slamming it against the wall. I stalked to the other side of the room and threw a lamp against the opposite wall. I flung paintings and furniture, anything I could get my hands on. And when there was nothing left to throw, I roared again until my throat was too hoarse to make another sound.
A/N: Still with me? I know, I know. But things get better from here on out guys. It's a turning point of sorts. Like I said, this is the halfway point, and now we've made it through the rough spots. :D
Reviews are so much better than drinks with your old nemesis. Show me some love (or hate) and leave one please and thank you.