Bella's Pov
It was November and Thanksgiving was right around the corner and I was due in a little over six weeks. We were going to be holding our little bundle of joy in our arms by the end of December and I couldn't be more excited.
There had been so much going on in our lives, our relationship that not even one full week after I had moved back home with Edward I ended up in the hospital. I had been cramping and eventually began to notice some spotting in my panties, I guess spotting is not quite accurate because it looked like I had had one of my heavier menstrual cycles and forgone a tampon.
I was home alone and scared to death, my hands trembled as I tried to dial Edward's cell, it went straight to voicemail so I left a message.
After hanging up I called for an ambulance, I didn't have time to wait for anyone else to show up. I'd rather be safe than sorry even if it was embarrassing being taken away in an ambulance.
It had turned out to be all the stress surrounding us that caused the cramping and bleeding, and I was placed on a mild form of bed rest for a couple of weeks. Edward had been so upset that he had missed the call, he had been in a meeting. That I swear he looked as though he were about to have a break down.
I knew that I needed to talk to him, that he needed to know the truth but after this I had to decide what would be more stressful, hence cause more harm to my child. Yes, I was under stress from not telling him but that stress would be tenfold if we fought and he left and I wasn't sure I could handle it.
I wasn't planning not to tell him, I was just putting it off until I was no longer on bed rest and at risk of suffering a miscarriage. I frequently wondered if this was karma's way of kicking me in the butt, was I such a horrible person that I had to go through everything our relationship had been threatened with and now my child, my son. I had finally found out that we were having a boy, a little Edward and I prayed that he would look just like his dad.
After a couple of weeks everything was back to normal, my doctor had even okayed a trip to Cleveland with Edward. He had a contract to finalize and said he'd feel better if I went, so I agreed. It was an interesting trip to say the least, I finally got to meet Irina and I didn't feel any better for it.
She was tall, blond, statuesque and gorgeous, definitely more the type of woman I saw Edward with. We had been having dinner in the hotel restaurant and I'd had to make one of my many bathroom runs, as I was returning to the table I had noticed two women talking to him. He didn't seem pleased and angrily shoved something on the table back towards the blond, who had been running a finger down his arm.
My initial instinct had been to run but I knew I was being ridiculous, so I continued moving forward towards our table. I could see my food had arrived and I was starving, Edward noticed me right away and stood to pull out my chair like the gentleman he was. The blond stared at me, looking at my stomach with disgust while the other woman with the long jet black hair just looked bored.
Edward tried dismissing them with a quick it was nice seeing you, but we'd like to get back to our dinner. The blond wasn't having it though, she leaned across the table offering her hand.
"Hi, I'm Irina Denali, and you are?"
My jaw clenched involuntarily but I recovered quickly only briefly glancing at Edward before reaching out to shake her hand and respond.
"Bella Cullen, it's lovely to meet you." Edward smiled at the use of his surname, it is after all mine as well but he knew I was making a point with her.
"This is a close friend of mine, Jane." She said introducing her friend to me. " Edward never did learn her name when he was last here, the three of us had gotten together but he was a little too distracted for proper introductions."
My head snapped in his direction while his snapped in her direction and I swear I heard the man growl at her. "It's time to go, Irina, get the fuck away from my table and my wife and take this with you." He hissed as he shoved a key card into her hand. So she had been trying to get him to her room…
She looked shocked momentarily but quickly pulled it together, bid us a good day and was on her way.
Once in our room I demanded that he explain what she had meant and he did. I learned more than I really would have cared to about their relationship, and I have to say that it left me feeling… self conscious to say the least.
"Bella, I left out the specifics because you and I have two completely different histories. Yours is nonexistent, you're an angel in every sense of the word. I often wonder how I was ever so lucky to find you, I do not deserve a woman as wonderful as you."
"Yes, you do. You are a good man, Edward, you've just made some not so good choices. Irina, is one of them and after her comment I would like you to tell me about it."
"Fine, when I showed up at her house her friend was also there… naked and no, I never touched her."
"Is that something you two did often, involve other people?" I wasn't sure just how much I wanted to hear exactly, but it appeared I was not in control of my mouth . I hadn't chosen to ask the question, it just kind of came out.
"Yes" He wasn't offering much so I knew we were back to him not wanting to disclose too much information, but I had a masochistic urge to know.
"How often?"
"Bella, please do not ask questions that you are sure to not want to know the answers to." He warned.
"I said how fucking often, Edward?"
"Often enough, Bella, I told you I only came here three or four times a year, I'd been with her maybe a dozen times. I would say that six or so of those times included other people." I cringed but still continued to question him.
"Always other women, or were there men too?" It was his turn to cringe but he also looked to be getting angry at my line of questioning.
"Both" I glared at him, waiting for more than a one word answer. He held my glare for a moment before finally giving in. "Do you really want the specifics, Bella? Because I can give them to you, but I guarantee… you will not like what you hear."
"Yes" I responded icily. His faced turned red, he hadn't really expected me to call him on it.
"Alright then, Irina and I both like to fuck, we liked to fuck hard none of this vanilla bullshit of everyday life. We liked to use things like vibrators, dildos, cock rings and enjoyed a little bondage, she also liked shit shoved up her ass. Yes, we've included other women in which we'd both fuck them and fuck each other, we've also invited other couples, swingers as you may know them, and switched off partners as well as engaged in a group fuck." He was definitely angry and I was in shock, such a state of shock that although I didn't want to hear anymore, I couldn't find my voice to stop him and he was too angry to stop himself.
"If you need that explained" he roared "well Irina would ride me reverse cowgirl with a vibrating butt plug shoved in her while sucking the other guys dick, and Victoria, the other woman squatted over my face. Let's see what else, I wouldn't want to leave any of my past in the fucking past. Oh, yes we've attended an orgy together, but I couldn't tell you how many different woman I'd fucked that night! I think that's about all, is there anything else you need to know, Bella?" He spat, I didn't like the way my name sounded on his lips when he was so angry with me.
I blinked and instantly tears poured down my face, I was pregnant, hormonal, shocked, and now felt severely inadequate as Edward Cullen's wife. There was no way that I could hold the attention of a man who was interested in that kind of stuff, and he had referred to our sex life as vanilla. I cried and he tried to reach out to me with a horrified expression on his face.
"Don't fucking touch me, Edward, I am so fucking disgusted in you right now." I don't think I was disgusted in his previous involvements so much as the fact that he had laid it all out there in such a horrid fashion. He was shockingly blunt. Hell I had just asked about threesomes, with both men and woman, I didn't ask for the rest of it nor had I expected it but I guess I now knew the real Edward Cullen.
I had climbed into bed and nodded off for a few hours, when I woke I noticed that Edward had climbed in with me and was holding me from behind. He wasn't sleeping, his breathing pattern alerted me to that. I sniffed and he pulled me tighter against his chest.
"I'm so sorry, love. I know that is not what you asked for but shit I told you that when it comes to you I am ashamed of my past and then you just kept pushing, I was angry that you were making me tell you things that I just didn't want you to have to know about me."
It's fine." I mumbled.
"No, it's not. Your disgusted by me now, you said so yourself."
"I admit that a few things you mentioned freaked me out a little, and just so you know I'd never take part in them."
"I wouldn't want you to, I love your innocence. It turns me on more than any of that other shit, you are it for me. I love everything about you."
"Well I'm sorry that you feel our sex life is so… vanilla, I don't mean to bore you but I've only ever been with you. I don't have experience to back me up." He turned me over to face him and stared into my eyes.
"Is that what you think, that you bore me? Fuck, Bella, I never meant it like that. It's just a term to use for sex that doesn't include any of that twisted shit, the last thing I would call sex with you is boring. You are responsible for the best fucking sex, blowjobs, and anything else I've ever had, you make me cum harder than anyone ever has without even trying. Oh god, don't cry." He whispered as he watched the moisture build in my eyes.
"I won't, I'm just emotional I'm pregnant remember… I can't believe you've done all those things."
"I know you are and I am so happy because of it, and sometimes I can't believe it either. I wish I could go back and just be the man that you need me to be, a man that you could be proud to call your husband and never feel the need to question who he is or what you mean to him."
He held me and we drifted off to sleep, both spending the entire night wrapped up in one another fully clothed. Neither of us had gotten up to change, it was the most uncomfortable, comfortable sleep of my life if that makes any sense at all.
We woke the following morning, both feeling exhausted although we had slept through the night, it had been a rather long day previously and I think we were still feeling somewhat awkward about the words we'd had.
Edward refused to release me from his hold until he felt that we were ok with each other, and we'd joked that it was hardly gentlemanly behaviour to threaten a pregnant woman, with a full bladder with holding her hostage. Even if I would thoroughly enjoy it.
"Bella, I don't care about any of the stuff we talked about last night, you are more than enough for me. In fact you are exactly what I was looking for, I just never knew it… not until you came along. You are everything I never knew I wanted, I want you. I know it will work . . . that we will work. I can feel it and I think you can too. I can't say that it didn't scare the shit out of me or that I'm not scared now because I am. I have never felt this way about anyone before." He took a deep breath. "I just need to know that you can see a future with me, after all this, knowing who I was. Can you still see it, see us?
"Yes" I whispered. It was one thing I was sure of, he would be a part of my future no matter what. He was far too invested in this baby now to walk away from him, even if in the end he left me. "I don't mean to get so upset but it can't be helped sometimes. It terrifies me to know that I could feel this way so quickly, that I could feel so much so quickly for someone, Edward. This is new to both of us."
"I know, me too but we'll get through everything just fine. I promise. We are stronger than we might sometimes think, Bella. We just need to have a little faith in one another."
He was right. Faith is important.
**********
"I forget to tell you, Edward, I also invited Rose to dinner this weekend. You don't mind do you?"
"Absolutely not, I was beginning to wonder when I would meet her. You never bring her to the house."
I had decided that I was not going to spend one more special day without Rose, nor leave her to spend the holiday alone. We were all that each of us had left and I wanted her here, we are family. I knew Edward would wonder why I had never mentioned her since he does in fact know her. I finally worked up the nerve to discuss it with him as we walked through the grocery store, picking up everything we would need for our holiday feast.
"Actually you already know her, Edward, she works for you."
"What do you mean?"
"Um, I mean that she does a job that you pay her for." I tried making light of it hoping that he wouldn't think too much about it.
"I get that, Bella, why have you not mentioned it before now?"
"I don't know, it just never came up. Her job does not define her, Edward, for the most part it just never occurred to me." Lies, lies and more lies, I am going to hell.
It seemed for the time being that Edward was fine with and had accepted my answer and I guess without knowing the truth about our marriage, he never really had a reason to think much of it.
"How do you put up with the wait, Bella, I have no patience for this." He complained as we waited in the rather long check out line, this was actually the first time he had ever accompanied me to the grocery store.
"You have no patience period, it's high time you learn some as you… are going to be a daddy in the very near future." An annoyed look first crossed his face at my initial comment before he smiled brightly, he was happy at the prospect of having a son.
He wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me against him after paying for the groceries, the cashier had been flirting with him shamelessly and I could tell by the way he watched me out of the corner of his eyes that he thought I would be angry with him. I was hormonal yes, but shit, I was used to the fact that my husband was fucking gorgeous and women fawned over him constantly. I was getting used to it.
"So, are you interested in putting these beautifully skilled hands to use in the kitchen with me tomorrow?" I asked seductively as I stroked the back of his hand.
"It's tempting," He laughed "unfortunately, I know for a fact that my mother will kick me out of the kitchen. You too, for that matter. She'll at least insist that you stay seated if you refuse to leave the kitchen."
"You do realise that we could team up, take back the kitchen. It is ours after all." I joked.
"Yea, I'll leave that to you. You, are a brave, brave woman, love, but I'm staying out of it."
"Your such a chicken shit, I can't believe you would tuck tail and run on your extremely pregnant wife." I scoffed, feigning disappointment in him. It's times like this that I wish we had honestly just fallen into each others lives in the way that he believes. We've had a difficult time of things but it still would have been so much easier.
We finally returned to the house after a long afternoon of shopping, ordered take out and settled in for the night. We had an early morning and I had thought that Edward and I would at least have the morning to prepare everything together before everyone showed up. I was wrong, Esme was on our door step before we had officially even gotten out of bed.
Edward had of course been right, I didn't argue and successfully stayed out of Esme's way as she prepared what was supposed to be the very first family dinner party that Edward and I were hosting. At first I hated it, I was annoyed by it but I know she didn't mean anything by it and was just trying to do what was right as I was due soon and had been on bed rest not that long ago.
So I got over it and decided to enjoy the day. I was disappointed that Alice and Jasper were visiting his family this year for the holiday but at least Rose was here. Edward had been surprised to find out that she was actually one of his own assistants but let it go quickly, Emmett on the other hand didn't get over it so quickly. He was smitten.
He was still casually seeing Claire, the woman he had brought to the Gala but she was visiting her family. Emmett and Rose hit it off really well, he had recognised her from the office but had had very little interaction with her, work wise.
I managed to sneak away when I noticed that Edward had been gone for a while, he was sitting in his office looking at the latest ultrasound pictures. I snuck in unnoticed by Edward, he must have been deep in thought. I leaned over and gently kissed his cheek while sliding both hands down either side of his shoulders, caressing his chest before circling him and slipping into his lap.
"Hi" I whispered leaning in for a kiss.
"Hi" he murmured as our lips met.
"What you doing in here all alone?"
"Waiting for you." He smirked.
"Liar" I whispered and he chuckled.
"I was sitting out there, watching everyone and I got to thinking about how quickly things change. That is my family out there, minus Alice and Jasper, and this…" He paused and lovingly ran his hand over my stomach. "is my own family, if that makes any sense. I never in my life thought I would be here, at this point with a beautiful woman as my wife… carrying my child, my son." His eyes drifted back to the photos on his desk briefly "I'd like a daughter too, I'd like for us to try for more." He looked hopeful.
"God, Edward, at least let me have this one first. I hope you mean later, like a year or two later."
He laughed. "Yes, later. I didn't mean right now, I just wanted you to know where my head is at."
"It's nice to know, and Edward, it makes perfect sense. You know, you and your own family. I totally get it. Can I ask you something though?"
"Anything" He sighed contentedly.
"Why did you not see yourself with any of this? It doesn't make sense to me, you grew up in a wonderful, loving family with strong family values and yet you completely disregarded that as far as your own personal life goes. I mean seeing how much happiness being together your family is, how had you ever thought that fucking random women and never committing was satisfying?"
He sighed heavily before responding. "I think about that often lately-"
"You think about fucking random woman… a lot lately?" I laughed, trying to lighten the mood, I wanted to hear his answer but I didn't want it to ruin the day for us.
"You know what I mean, I think about us and wonder how on earth I ever thought that that was enough. No one has ever meant anything to me until you, they were… nothing. Inconsequential… orgasms."
"Thank you" I smiled.
"For what, love?" He was still gently rubbing my belly as he asked.
"For letting me be a consequential orgasm." He smiled back at me.
"You couldn't be anything but. I need you, you complete me… I wasn't really living before you, just kind of getting by."
"Pfftt… Edward Cullen just getting by, yea ok. I'd say you were living every man's fantasy, an all american dream, even if it was a wet one, a disgusting wet one."
He laughed and I scowled. "Come on, love, we can't ignore our guests all day."
Dinner was wonderful, Esme really did do an excellent job. Emmett and Rose never left the other's side and I noticed that he had discreetly asked for a number that he could reach her at. I guess Claire was about to be a distant memory, or at least she better be. I would have to say something to Emmett later.
Rose and I finally had a little while to catch up as we tidied up the kitchen, I insisted and refused to back down. I had to be able to help with something. The evening ended fairly early and everyone filed out together and it surprise me to see Emmett leaning against Rose's car in the driveway as I closed the door after waving goodbye.
I was beat and I barely lifted a finger. Edward was once again right and it annoyed the shit out of me. Edward pulled me back against his bare chest as I climbed into bed, pulling my night dress up above my belly and started rubbing small circles around it. I felt his hot breath against my neck as his lips ghosted across my skin.
"You know I think you may have a small case of maiesiophilia." I told him while trying to hold in a laugh.
"Of what?"
"Um… you know like a fetish involving pregnant women." I said finally unable to contain my laughter.
"Get the fuck out, you don't seriously think that… do you? I just think it's amazing to watch as my child grows inside you. It's… fascinating and I'm jealous that you get to experience so much more of it." I knew I had shocked Edward as he rarely uses language as strong the 'F' word unless we're fucking or he's stressed.
"Yea, I'm sure you won't be quite so jealous once you witness the actual birth."
"We haven't talked about that, you want me there right? I don't have to be one of those father's that are a bystander in the waiting room do I?"
"Of course I want you there, I never even gave it any thought. It was a given to me that you would be there."
He smiled and placed a chaste kiss on my lips before we both drifted off to sleep.
A/N: All characters belong to SM.