A/N: So sorry for the late update, life decided to throw a wrench in my writing schedule... oh well, better late than never :)
Amanda and Rafael arrived at Olivia's apartment around 10 am that Saturday morning. Barba held on to his girlfriend's hand and practically dragging her to the door. Amanda may have had initially decided to talk with her birth mother but that didn't mean she wasn't apprehensive about it. In fact the only reason the ADA was able to get the blonde as easily as he did to the elder woman's front door was the fact that Jesse was still there.
"Amanda" Barba breathed as they stood in front of the wooden door "if you don't want to do this then don't. Olivia is anything but understanding, she knows that you need time and space to process this" he explained in a gentle voice "No one is pushing you, but just know that, in my opinion, it's better to get this out of the way as soon as possible"
"Really now?" Amanda replied with a raised eyebrow "Since when did you become a conflict resolution expert?" she said sarcastically. He simply gave her a half hurt half annoyed look. "Okay, I'm sorry, just a little on edge" she smiled apologetically.
Gathering the rest of her courage, Amanda took a deep breath and knocked strongly against the door. "Mama, Mama" the pair heard a young voice yell from inside "the door, can I open it?" before any answer could be heard they saw the doorknob turning but not all the way. "Mama, help it's stuck again"
Moments later they heard a latch being undone at the top of the door and soon it opened slowly to reveal Olivia with Noah hanging on her leg. "Hi" Olivia said with a nervous smile as she stepped aside to let the couple enter the apartment "Jesse is playing in the living room" she explained when she noticed Amanda's eyes search around. Amanda nodded her head silently as she entered and went to her daughter.
"Jesse!" she squealed with true joy as she bent down to retrieve her little girl "did you miss mommy?" she asked and smiled when her daughter clung onto her for dear life. "Jesse, you're hurting me" she said through giggles as her daughter pawed at her face and hair. She lowered the blonde child to her hip "I'm so sorry baby girl, I promise I'll never leave you like that ever again okay" she finished with a long kiss to the top of Jesse's head.
While mother and daughter were relishing their little reunion, Olivia and Barba stood near the kitchen watching the loving scene before them. Olivia's heart fluttered as she observed the bond mother and daughter shared, only wishing that they could one day have even a fraction of that kind of relationship.
Barba cleared his throat "Wow Liv, your house smells lovely, did you make breakfast?"
"Well, I only made food for the children" Olivia said being drawn out from her musing "They we're hungry so I already fed them, but I didn't make much because I didn't know what you two wanted"
"Well that's perfect then" Barba said easily as he walked to Amanda and pulled the child from her arms "you and Amanda can go out for coffee and a bagel while I watch the children" at this Jesse let out a whimper trying to once again be in her mother's embrace.
"You watch both children, Barba?" Olivia questioned "are you sure you can handle that, I mean it's no trouble at all to whip up something to eat"
Barba showed a quick look of irritation as the older woman questioned his ability to handle two small children "I'll be fin Liv, and besides this way you and Amanda can have some space to discuss whatever you need to get out in the open"
"Amanda?" Olivia questioned, trying to determine if the young woman was alright with that situations
"I'm good with that" she said as she held onto her daughter's hand and kissed it "might as well just hurry with it all anyway" she finished as she headed for the door. Olivia quickly rambled off some rules for Barba to be aware of as well as the location of the diaper bag so he could change Jesse when he needed to. "Noah listen to Rafael alright, he's going to tell me if you were bad" and with that the ADA was left alone with his two charges.
"Well guys, it looks like it's just you and me" he mused as he went to sit on the couch "how could she not believe in me" he huffed to himself.
Not more than 20 minutes later his nose was met with the most horrible smell "looks like someone needs to be changed" he said as he raised Jesse slightly off his lap not wanting to get the smell attached to him "I just wish you would've done this when your mom was here"
He stood to gather the diaper bag to change her but before he could Noah was already bring it to him "I help you Rafimel" Noah said excitedly as he tried to bring the bag to him. During Jesse's stay with them Noah had been helping his mom care for the baby. "Rafimel" the toddler said, once again mispronouncing the ADA's name "I put it..." he didn't get to finish his sentence for the young boy tripped over the heavy bag and landed face first onto the hard tile floor.
Noah quickly started crying as he tried to stand "Owe! Mommy! Mommy" he cried
"Shhh, Noah you're okay" Barba tried to comfort the small boy as he juggled Jesse on his hip. He silently cursed to himself as he saw a cut on Noah's chin that was bleeding. The sight of blood caused the small boy to cry louder, this time making Jesse cry with him.
"Oh no" Barba mumbled "Olivia's never going to let me live this down" he finished as he tried desperately to calm the hysterical children before him.
Olivia and Amanda walked silently together to the corner coffee shop and ordered their drinks and bagels. They didn't speak until both of them had their food in hand "so um..." Olivia began "where do you want to talk? Right here?"
Amanda looked around, she suddenly felt claustrophobic with the crowd around them. As much as she hated the thought of being alone with Olivia, she hated the idea of them having a difficult conversation in such a public place even more "why don't we walk to Central Park, it's only a few blocks away"
Olivia nodded. It was more than a few blocks away, but if that would make the blonde more comfortable then she was willing to make the trip. "So why the park?" Olivia questioned, they had agreed to not talk about their relationship until they were at the park but the older woman just couldn't take the silence anymore.
"Umm..." Amanda began, thinking how best to answer the question "I guess I just miss nature" she finally decided "New York is great and there's so much that I just love about it, but I really miss the outdoors, the feeling of being lost in the wilderness"
"You like to be lost" Olivia questioned
"No, not actually lost, but just separated from the hectic day to day life. Everything is quiet when you're alone in the woods. It's peaceful"
"I can understand that" realizing that she herself has had day in which she just wished she could disappear from the world
The pair had once again slipped into silence. By the time they had reached Central Park they had finished their bagels and were simply sipping on their coffees. Amanda led the older woman deep into the park, to a place Olivia herself had never been to. "It's just a little further" Amanda explained as she led her birthmother further in. They stopped in a secluded area where only a single bench stood in the middle of the tall trees around them.
"How did you find this place?" Olivia questioned as they sat on the sturdy metal bench
"After the incident at the club with Murphy... well I needed another distraction so I increased my runs and got lost a few times. I just found this place on accident" Amanda shrugged not feeling comfortable bring up a time in their past that was a source of great conflict between the two of them.
Olivia sighed "look I'm sorry about that time. I should have handled that better..."
"No you were right to treat me like that" Amanda interrupted her "I made a huge mistake that jeopardized everything... I was just lucky that Declan was undercover" Amanda looked down at her drink and shrugged again "but that's not what we came here to talk about, huh" she said as she raised her head to look Olivia in the eyes
"No, no it's not" the brunette agreed "What is it that you want to know?"
"Why don't you just start at the beginning"
A/N: I know this is a short chapter and that a lot of you really want to hear them talk already, but it would have been far too long if I tried to get that all out right now. Next chapter will be the talk I promise :) I just needed to set the scene so I could jump right in next chapter.