Shortly after Dan went home from Kev's, he got Phil's message about the next meet up. They both decided that the best day to do it would be on Saturday as both boys are free then; Dan having the day off and Phil no classes.
The whole week stretches out excruciatingly for Dan. He's been both excited and afraid to meet Phil eye to eye again. He was scared that because of the kiss that almost took place at Phil's flat, Phil wouldn't want to have anything to do with him, let alone continue their work together. Dan repeated to himself that the only reason Phil met up with him again would be to end their cooperation or to call him out.
When Dan makes it to the park Phil sent him the directions to, the black haired is already waiting for him. He's sitting on a bench, looking around. His feet are beating out a rhythm of Immortals as he wonders if Dan will come. He wouldn't be so much surprised if he didn't show up. After all, Phil put him in a few awkward situations the last time they saw each other.
With heart pounding and head full with doubts, Dan approaches the metal front gate of the big green park which smells of old trees. He doesn't need to go in far though. He finds Phil on a bench, a black bag sitting next to him.
"Hey," he whispers, his voice coming out quiet and strained.
Phil looks up, an immediate smile forming on his face, "You came!"
"Uh, duh," Dan mumbles, glancing at his feet. His stomach is churning as he feels he doesn't know what to say, if he should coment their last 'situation', if he should apologise. And then, why does Phil seem happy? Shouldn't he shout at him and break their deal?
Phil munches on his bottom lip as waves of guilt run through him. He was the one who made the boy feel so uncomfortable and awkward and now he has no idea how to fix it. He's not sure if he should address what happened and apologise, what if Dan wants to pass over the awkardness?
"I brought my camera with me, if that's okay with you," he says quietly and Dan only nods, not meeting his eye. Phil feels as if someone stabbed him in the heart. And it's all his fault. Again.
"You should get comfortable with the camera first, as I said earlier," he explains and swears at himself. How can Daniel feel comfortable when the atmosphere around two of them is thick with awkwardness?
The boy only moves from one foot to the other and Phil gets up from the bench, taking his bag with himself. Blue eyes says nothing as he leads Dan further into the park, stopping by a big fountain in an European style with ten carved flowers around the rock circle from which shoots streams of water.
Dan stops to examine it closer. It's big, as he stares at it and it's covered in a green moss, giving away its years.
"I thought this place would be okay?" Phil asks unsurely and Dan nods, realising he's been a dick from the moment he's here. Phil doesn't deserve to feel uncomfortable and bad. If anything, it's Dan who did wrong back in Phil's flat.
"It's beautiful," he assures him softly and when Phil's lips rise in a smile, Dan can't help doing the same. "So... what am I supposed to do?" he glances nervously at the fountain and then back at Phil. His hands begin to sweat as he recalls he knows nothing about modelling and posing.
"Don't worry, it's gonna be okay," Phil calms him down and somehow his voice is all it takes for Dan's muscles to relax slowly. "If you could sit on the edge of the fountain on the beginning?" he instructs him and Dan sits down on the cold rock as he's told, breathing out slowly. "And now place your hand near your ear?"
Dan feels aware of his body the moment a couple passes the fountain, staring curiously at the two.
"Phil, I feel stupid," he confesses, quiet enough only for blue eyes to hear him. The boy opens his bag quickly, putting out a big black camera.
"You're doing great, Dan. Can you straighten up?" he asks, attaching a big lense to it. Dan bolts upright, his back cracking from such a sudden movement. Phil looks up from his camera and there's a ghost of smile playing on his lips. "A little, Dan."
Dan rolls his shoulder blades, slouching a bit.
"That's perfect," Phil comments, kneeling down, he brings the viewfinder to his eye.
"Turn your face to the right slightly."
"And now glance up, like the trees are intriguing you."
Dan looks up, staring at branches of green high oaks.
"Good, Dan. And now part your lips a little..." Phil orders, his words stretching out as he's busy taking pictures. Dan blushes at the command but obeys. He opens his mouth a little, hoping it looks like he's surprised or whatever emotion he's supposed to look like.
"Now look at me," comes from his left and Dan feels his cheeks reddening. He turns his head in Phil's direction and he turns bright red, noticing a little crowd standing behind Phil. There is a couple with a little child, the girl pointing at him and her mother quietly whispering something into her ear. A bunch of teens stand there too, two girls and three boys, their heads tilted to the side in curiosity.
"Dan, look at me," Phil says and Dan does so. The black haired stopped taking pictures. Dan's breathing rapidly, he realises, his pulse quickened by the little audience which gathered around them.
"Dan!" Phil raises his voice a little to get his attention. Dan fixes his eyes with him as he tries to steady his shaking hands, "Everything's fine, okay? Imagine they're not here. It's just you and me, okay, Dan?"
There's something so soothing in Phil's blue eyes, so warm that Dan nods and as he looks straight into the lens again, his breathing is steady.
He turns his head to his left and right a little, tilting his head now and then and making different expressions, depending on what Phil asks him to do. At one moment, he's so into it, the whole crowd that stressed him earlier now only makes him more courageous and brave.
"That's great, Dan!" Phil beams after good fifteen minutes of tilting, shaking, turning his head and making whole kinds of facial expressions, starting on sad, going through happy, scared to extremely mad.
"Maybe we could also take a few photos of your whole body? If that's fine with you," Phil adds, seeing the worry appearing on Dan's face the moment the words leave his mouth.
"I- I'm not sure," his voice trembles and he swallows heavily. He looks over at Phil and when he spots his encouraging smile, he nods sheepishly. "But I can always try, right?" he says which causes Phil to grin at him.
The blue eyes search in his bag for a minute, replacing the current lens with a new one. Dan wrinkles his forehead, wondering what is it supposed to do, but he decides to trust Phil's knowledge.
"Okay, now can you stand up?" Phil asks as the lens is finally placed on the camera. His eyes are smiling brightly too and Dan bites on his bottom lip, nodding as Phil's smile is literally giving him life.
They're shooting for over an hour when something happens. Dan feels so comfortable being in front of a camera, that by Phil's encouragement and applause, he feels the need to express his happiness. And he does the stupidest thing he could have done.
He jumps.
Wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets, Dan holds the mug with a steaming hot chocolate tightly in his hands. His teeth are still chattering but less than they did just after he fell into that fountain with a big, loud splash.
In front of all those people...
"How are you feeling?" asks Phil worryingly as he walks up to him, kneeling in front of his shaking body.
"B- besides being embarrassed and stupid for humiliating myself in front of twenty strangers? Great," he stammers out, not meeting Phil's eye.
Phil smiles at him apologetically,
"I put your clothes into the dryer," he says and Dan only nods. Phil studies the brown haired for a moment. His body is shaking, and hundreds of goosebumps cover his skin. His brown hair is still damp, and Phil cracks a smile when he discovers a small flower of nenuphar between his locks.
"You've got flower in your hair," he explains as he brings his hand to get rid of the plant.
He freezes when he catches Dan looking straight at him.
"What?" he asks, pulling out the flower. Dan's brown pupils stare into his and Phil waggles his eyebrows, "Do I have something on my face?" and Dan lets out a breath.
He chuckles as he looks down at his hands, "No, it's just... it's nothing."
Phil cocks an eyebrow but doesn't ask questions.
A loud ding announces the photos finished ulpoading to his computer. Phil walks up to the desk and brings the laptop with him as he sits on the sofa, next to Dan.
Dan's breath hitches when his and Phil's knees brush. His face flushes and he takes a sip of his chocolate so he can't be seen.
"Okay, here we go," mutters Phil clicking on a folder with a tag Dan. It opens up with at least hundred pictures. He chooses the first one, and Dan cringes involuntarily at his image. "Look," Phil says as if Dan wasn't watching already, "in the beginning you were very tense and it's visible in the pictures."
Dan's face reddens as he looks at his own picture. He's nearly biting through his lip and he's so straightened up he's surprised he didn't break his back.
"Oh God, I'm awful," he mutters, glancing away as he sets the mug on the table. He hears a rustle as Phil turns to face him.
"No, you're not," he assures. "It's hard for everyone at the beginning, believe me. And you did great back there, though I wish you didn't get over excited at the end," he laughs and earns a playful jab from Dan.
"I was just very happy, okay!" he defends himself and Phil smiles at him.
"Are you sure you're okay and didn't twist your ankle?" Phil glances Dan over, checking for any injuries he didn't catch the first time he looked over him. Dan shakes his head.
"I'm fine," he claims. "Please, tell me there's something good in those pictures too," he pleads, looking through his fingers as he covers his red face.
Phil laughs, already clicking through the photos.
"I don't want my dignity to suffer for nothing," he mumbles and Phil giggles.
"Don't worry, look at this," he points at the picture he showed Dan earlier. "I guess you can sense how uncomfortable with the camera you are on this picture. Your muscles are all tense and you're too worried about the camera. Now look at that one," Phil orders as he opens up next tab with another photo of Dan. "Here you're acting much better. You are relaxed and you're not caring about the audience or the camera," he explains and Dan finds himself staring at him without care in the world.
How long has it been since he's known Phil? How long has he been staring dumbly at this picture of a God?
"Look," he clicks on the computer, playing a slide show. "Those pictures were taken in two minutes and you can clearly see how you slowly become more comfortable in front of the camera." The desktop changes with pictures but all Dan can see is Phil.
Phil with his silvery voice. Phil looking at him through the camera lens. Phil convincing him to be his model. Phil staring at him worriedly as he scrambles out of the fountain, soaked and freezing. Phil talking with passion about photography. Phil smiling widely at his bad jokes. Phil's encouraging words when they were taking pictures. Confessing he wants Dan, only Dan, because there is something special about him.
He looks at Phil once again, at his pink lips moving as he brags on about how the session went well, at his black fringe, messily swept to the side from when Phil ran his hand too many times through it as he asked him once and once again if Dan didn't want to go to the A&E. Dan admires his blue eyes so similar to the ocean. Did he forget to mention he could totally drown in them and not mind it at all?
Putting his hand on Phil's shoulder, he gently pulls him in closer. They're so close and Phil's so beautiful, he can't make the same mistake again. Dan glances down at Phil's lips briefly to look into his blue eyes again. They're wide in surprise and Phil's mouth is opened, from pausing in half sentence, but it turns into a soft smile soon as Phil understands what the brown haired is thinking about.
Phil nods eagerly at Dan, giving him permission, and Dan's heart skips a beat or two in happiness. His own face forms into a big smile as he leans in slowly. Their noses bump and they both laugh before Phil puts his hand on the back of Dan's neck and pulls him in again. As he closes the little distance between them, Dan's earlier pounding heart calms down, as though it finally found its home.
The kiss is sweet and full of affection the two boys so hardly tried to hide. They find each other's lips easily, as though they were made to be together. Dan smells of chocolate and Phil smiles to himself when he comes across the pierced metal. It sends pleasurable shivers through his body and he puts his other hand's fingers' on Dan's cheek, caressing it lightly.
Dan feels like he's in Heaven and he melts into the kiss, giving all the power to Phil as he merely wraps his arms around his warm body. Phil's lips move against his perfectly and he wants the moment to last forever. However, after a while, they part. Dan's breathing heavily, looking down,
"Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I just sorta wanted to do this since I've seen you-" he mumbles frantically. "Oh gosh!" he squeaks, realising what he's said and Phil looks at him from under half lidded eyes. Dan's face is flushed and he looks everywhere but at him. And he has no reason to be embarrassed.
Phil delicately grabs his face in his hands and brings it closer to his, planting a short, reassuring kiss on Dan's tattling lips. They freeze the moment they feel Phil's mouth on them and the black haired smiles,
"I kinda wanted to do that since I've seen you for the first time, too, you know," he whispers in between another kiss, his breath hot and voice husky, making Dan shudder. "I just never had the certainty you would want it too."
"Well," Dan's mind is hazy as he speaks, "I guess you know now."
"Yeah, I do," he agrees, smiling as he rubs a thumb over his cheek and Dan's leaning into the touch slightly. Dan opens his eyes, a dreamy look written on his face.
He blinks rapidly as he realises what just happened.
Phil's forehead wrinkles as he spots the brown haired tensing up, "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asks quickly. He wants to make sure the boy is feeling well and he's not regretting their kiss even though he was the one initiating it.
"I- I am," he whispers, staring directly into his eyes. "I just," he pauses, not finding the words for how he's feeling.
Happy? Confused as hell? Worried? Loved?
"I've never been with a guy before," he admits, "I've never been this close with anyone before," he explains, turning bright red. What if Phil thinks he's a total newbie? Not having kissed anyone even though he's nearly eighteen? Does that mean he's wrong?
"Ohh..." is all that leaves Phil's mouth and Dan looks down at the sofa. He was right. There is something wrong about him, definitely wrong about him. He's some kind of weirdo, who normal hasn't kissed anyone yet by age seventeen and half?
"Dan, it's okay," Phil speaks, lifting his chin so he can look into his brown chocolate eyes. "We won't do anything you're not comfortable with. If..." he pauses, a slight tremor in his voice, "if you want to do anything. If you want us to be anything."
"No, I want to, Phil," he answers quickly, the words coming right out of his heart. "This is just really new to me, but I want us to be something," he assures, wondering what 'something' would be in their case. They've known each other for too short to become boyfriends but too long to be just friends. And as much as Dan's inexperienced he knows they definitely can't call themselves friends with benefits either. Which makes them... which makes them what, exactly?
"Do you want us to," Phil gesticulates, glancing at him awkwardly, "try this out? And see where it goes?"
"Yeah," Dan nods, agreeing. He definitely has no idea what can turn out of this but he's eager to find out. "But no pressure, okay?" he adds. "No 'we need to make this work' and that sort of crap. Let's just see how it goes and then we can decide what we are, alright?"
Phil nods in agreement, "So, are we giving ourselves the time to figure us out till my session is wrapped up? Is that it?"
Dan looks to his left and right, thinking for a while.
"Yeah, it seems like it," he agrees at last.
"So deal?" Phil takes out his hand and Dan stares at it for a moment before he pulls out his own.
They shake hands and Dan smiles at him, "Deal."
Hey everyone! I thought I'd give you this lil present ;)
Have a good Friday! (hope you liked the pheelings ^^)