Now, back by popular demand…eh, somewhat popular…kind of popular…okay, back by a few people's demands, here's the next chapter to Mouse Race! I don't own these characters. If I did, I'd be rich! Also, I'm sorry for those of you who don't like toilet humor.

Chapter Twelve: How About Now?

"I'll be right back, guys," the obese guy said. "I gotta drop a major deuce."

After he walked to the bathroom, the blonde guy had a major epiphany. "Mph mph mph mph mph mph mph?"

"Uh, Kenny, you probably shouldn't talk with your mouth full," the red-head said.

The blonde nodded and swallowed his fries. "I said, 'Why don't we just leave him here?'"

The dark-haired guy and the red-head looked at each other with wide eyes and then turned back to the blonde. "Dude, why didn't we think of that?" the dark-haired guy asked. "Let's go!" The three started to walk out.

"Who's going to pay for the meal?" the red-head asked.

"Cartman will. Now let's go!"

"Cartman doesn't have any money!"

"Then they'll make him work it off! Who cares? Go!"

They ran up to their van with the license plate "SWEEEET". As the blonde was about to get in, he was confronted by a dog and a rabbit. He gleamed. "Aww…aren't you two cute? Do you need a home?"

The dog wagged her tail and the rabbit hopped up and down excitedly.

"Hey guys?" the blonde said as he opened his door. "I just found some stray animals. Can I keep them?"

"What if they have rabies?" the red-head asked.

"Well, they look fine to me…and they're wearing clothes, so I doubt they've never been in human contact before…but there are no tags or collars or anything."

The dark-haired man sighed. "Alright, Kenny, but if I see a mess on the floor you're cleaning it up."

"Thanks, Stan," the blonde said as he let the two animals enter before him.

Meanwhile, the obese man just got out of the bathroom. "Hey! Where'd they go?" Then he heard some tires squeal. "Ah, (CENSORED)."

-X-

"And so here I am: Jack Spicer, evil genius, professional hitchhiker," the annoyed goth said as he pointed his thumb again. "That stupid tournament was a waste of my valuable time."

Finally, a car stopped right in front of him. The shotgun door opened and Cosmo was thrown out. From the inside of the car, Li'l D said, "Trade ya."

Spicer grinned evilly as he entered the car. "Jack is back and in black, baby!"

Cosmo watched as the car sped off. "Ooh! Ooh! Wasn't that the creepy guy from earlier?"

-X-

"Dad, just…pull…OVER!" Danny yelled.

"NO! Must…get…to…GHOST CONVENTION!" Jack yelled. How he still remembered that lie, no one knows.

Jack turned down an alley to get away from the police. Unfortunately, it was a dead-end.

Everyone in the truck screamed and shut their eyes, oblivious to the funny feeling in their stomachs.

After noticing that they weren't a fiery pile of rubble, Jack opened his eyes. "What the…?"

They were past the wall and back on the road, away from the cops.

"Now, how the heck did that happen?" Jack asked, stunned.

Jazz looked at Danny, who quickly flashed his green eyes at her to explain the whole thing.

She smiled. "Thanks little brother," she whispered.

Danny shrugged. "Don't thank me. That was a completely selfish act on my part."

-X-

After an hour of star-gazing, Raven heard a low growl. "Was that you, Beast Boy?"

"No…well, kinda. It was my stomach."

Raven got up. "There's bound to be a restaurant around here somewhere."

"They better have pie," Garfield said as he got up.

"I know a place that has pie," Raven smirked.

Garfield's ears perked up. "Where?"

Raven pointed to a McDonalds nearby.

"Oh, heck no."

"What's wrong with apple pie?"

"Nothing is. I just don't like that place. It's unhealthy and most of the menu is made up of meat."

"What are you? The president of the Morgan Spurlock fanclub?"

"Hey! You leave him out of this!"

Raven's eyes widened. "O…kay…"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Okay, so I'm a Morgan Spurlock fan. Big whoop."

"You're a fan of a guy with a girl's name?"

"Hey! A lot of awesome male celebs have girls' names! Like…Kelsey Grammer…and Morgan Freeman…hey! Another Morgan! Cool…"

"Don't forget Marilyn Manson."

"That's a guy? Huh…well, that explains the low voice…I always thought that was dubbed…anyway, the point is that I will never, ever, EVER go into a McDonalds! …Ever."

"Fine. Suit yourself. …They have a playhouse area."

"…Okay, maybe for a few minutes…"

-X-

"Okay, what's going on?" Mandy asked. "I thought we'd be over land by now. Are we even going in the right direction?"

Billy only shrugged.

"I tink we are going in da right direction," Grim said, still dangling, "but I do believe we went too far westward. We missed Door County completely. My guess is dat we will be heading toward Green Bay."

"Well, I guess that's not so bad," Mandy said. "At least we won't have to worry about traffic or trees for a while."

"But we will have to worry about all dat eventually…and Mr. Kennedy," Grim said, frowning. "After all, Green Bay is a fairly large city."

"It's no Milwaukee," Mandy remarked.

"What's a Mill-wa-ca-blah?" Billy asked.

"It doesn't matter, Billy," Mandy said. "Madison's our destination, not Milwaukee."

"Now can I come up?" Grim asked.

"Aw, but Grim, we're in Wis-consciousness!" Billy exclaimed. "It's the best place in the universe to rip off that scene from the movie we're ripping off where a cow ends up tied to a hot-air balloon!"

"Oh, come now, Billy!" Grim said. "Dat would just be too much."

"Yeah, and I'd be the one the cow sneezes on," Mandy added.

Suddenly, Billy sneezed and Mandy was covered from head-to-toe in snot.

"Point taken," Mandy said. "Hey Grim. Guess what. You're staying down there. Think of it as a little payback for stealing our key."

"I could drop da key, too, and nobody gets da money," Grim scoffed.

"Then you would get the worst beating of your entire existence. Plus, you'll start doing chores for other people too, not just us."

Billy giggled. "Yep! I don't even wanna know what messes happen at Irwin's house!"

"Alright! I won't drop da key!" Grim yelled.

"Good boy," Mandy said as if Grim were a mutt. Grim just grumbled. "Why me?"

COMING UP NEXT, CHAPTER THIRTEEN: NO, NOT YET

"NO! No more Mickey freakin' Ds!" Garfield yelled. "I hate the food, I hate the atmosphere, and I hate that freakin' clown!"

"Relax, Gar. I'm just messing with you. And if you ask me, I hate that clown, too."

They walked over to a sidewalk near the road, which had a water puddle on it. An ice cream truck whizzed by, splashing water in the faces of the former Titans. The driver, a clown with a flaming head and a Billy-shaped face, started giggling.

Raven looked at Garfield, who turned into a dog to shake the water out of his fur. "But I have to admit…I hate THAT clown even more…"