12.

bulletproof heart

I got a bulletproof heart

You got a hollow-point smile

— MCR

Steaming cups are standing on the kitchen table. It's cold outside, cold but calm and still. You can say exactly the same about Klaus. He's waiting to hear Caroline's story, thinking that maybe she was right, maybe they don't know each other that well.

However, he's not a coward. Whatever it is, he'll take it as a challenge.

Caroline swallows a bit of hot cocoa, preparing herself for the most difficult speech she's got to deliver. Even that one at her mother's funeral wasn't as hard as this one. But it's an emotional trade. She's sure she'll learn some painful truths about him too.

One deep breath. Two deep breaths.

"As I said, I'm not pregnant." Klaus' bleak, grim expression tells her he doesn't take lightly the results of his investigation. Did he really wanted...?

"I will never get pregnant, Klaus. I can't have kids."

The last sentence kicked him in the face. His head jerks up, his wide eyes dart to her face. Klaus did not expect that. He didn't want kids, that's true, he was afraid he would be a monster like his father. Following his father footsteps was the last thing he wanted to do. But on his way to Caroline's home he thought that maybe it wouldn't be that bad. It wasn't hard to predict that one day he would knock her up eventually, because this is what usually happens to long-lasting couples. His legacy would have the heir. It would keep Caroline from running away as well. Okay —oh-kay!— he admits, for a moment he wanted this kid, he wanted this anchor, he wanted something that would tie Caroline to him (to him, not to a radiator) forever.

When the first shock sinks in, Klaus coughs and asks, "How did it happen?"

"I had a car accident. It was pretty... bad." Caroline lowers her eyes. She doesn't want to go into details. Not with him. Let the sleeping dogs lie.

"Who did this to you?" Klaus' whole body is so tense he's going to get cramps. Caroline's hangdog looks means it won't be the nicest thing to hear for Klaus.

"That's the worst part. It was my fault." She still doesn't look at him. Her fingers are awkwardly playing with the big cup handle in a shape of cat's tail. Cats always land on their feet. Caroline wishes she could do it just once.

"I was drunk-driving."

Klaus sighs. "That's why you rarely touch alcohol now." Caroline just nods. She doesn't want to get carried away again. Not after all that drunk craziness with Damon.

"There's more."

"There's more?" Klaus starts to wonder what could be worse than what she already told him.

"Remember Matt? That guy who fixed your car."

"Yeah, the bartender."

Caroline's face twists in pain as she looks at Klaus apologetically. "I, um, I kinda hit him with my car."

A small yellow bottle falls to the floor with a clank. It's empty, Kol realizes. Damn it. It can't be.

He wants to rush to the door but a stinging pain shoots through his whole body, beginning with head, ending in the tips of his toes. This is the moment when you can't respire because it hurts. Kol's taking quick shallow breaths, in and out, gritting his teeth. The pain is excruciating. He feels like being stabbed with a fruit knife second after second, minute after minute. Being stabbed in the head, the knife carving a pattern onto his back, breaking it, breaking every bone in his body.

It's pure agony. His forehead is covered with sweat, his hands are shaking, his lips are pale and dry, his eyes terrified.

He doesn't know how long he's been lying on the cold black floor tiles gasping for air, but when he feels he can finally move, another wave of stabbing comes and Kol cries out with pain. It's his body, but what suffers the most is his head.

"Please, make it stop," he pants out, "please."

Curled up on into a fetal position, Kol lies on the floor, pale and sweating, waiting for this torture to be over.

"Can you tell me now something about you?" Caroline puts two cups into the sink.

"What do you want to know, love?" Klaus is ready to take up the gauntlet. If this is the only way to make her stay with him, he'll tell her everything. Everything she can know without risking her life, of course.

"Tell me about you ex-girlfriends." She says sitting down in front of him, with the table as the only thing separating them. No cups to distract their attention. Just two pairs of blue eyes staring at each other in silence. Finally Klaus props his chin on both hands, ready for the confession.

"If you mean the women I've slept with, I can't tell you much. Just some pretty faces serving as a remedy for boredom or frustration, nothing more."

Caroline is too proud to admit that it stings a little. A small pang of jealousy indicating that Caroline's heart is, in fact, not bulletproof. But it was obvious, wasn't it? That he had other women, he's too good in bed (it's a huge understatement, good doesn't even begin to describe it, but okay, let's leave this discussion for a better occasion) to be celibate. Unless, of course, he's got a natural talent, but let's face it, this particular kind of art is to be trained and perfected.

"What about a girlfriend. Like, serious relationship." Caroline inquires. She's waiting for him to mention Tatia. If he doesn't, it means he's still lying to her.

"There was one. Tatia."

Bingo!

"And— And what happened?" She tries to hold back the nervousness.

"She was cheating on me with my brother Elijah."

Ooops.

This time Klaus' eyes are avoiding Caroline's gaze.

"I walked in on them one night, but it was too hard for me to do anything, so I took off. She ran after me. We argued. I left her. I thought she went back to Elijah, but she didn't. She didn't go to her family either. She just went missing. A week later her body was found a few miles away from London. Most probably someone attacked her, killed her and dropped her body into the Thames."

Okay, now it's scary. And sad.

"I'm so sorry." Caroline chokes out seeing how it hurts him to tell her this story. To re-live it again. He probably still blames himself. His absent stare tells Caroline he's thinking about it over and over again.

Kol manages to stand on his feet but the dizziness remains, and his body aches all over. The face he sees in the mirror has dark circles under his eyes and is ghostly pale. Somehow he gets to the woods, staggering and grunting with pain. It's the shortcut that leads to the city center, to a pharmacy. He can hear every leaf that he treads on and crushes. A drop of sweat rolls down his temple. Just a few more steps, just—

So lie to me and tell me

That we'll make it through the night

I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart

Look me in the eye,

Lie, lie, lie.

—David Cook

"That's all, then?" Klaus asks, relieved, as he gets up from his seat. It wasn't that hard. She believes him, and he swears he'll be honest with her, always and forever, just... Just let the past fade.

"Yes." Caroline also gets up, and tries to sound convincing. It's not that she lied to him. It's just... a half-truth. Facts that were carefully selected.

"So, no more lies? No more secrets? Can I trust you from now on?"

"This is what I should ask you, not the other way round." Her hands rest on her hips, her head is tilted to one side, revealing the delicate skin of her neck. If she tries to look strict and serious... it doesn't work. All Klaus sees now is her neck ready to be covered with kisses, ready to surrender, to tremble under his lips. All he feels now is his body temperature rising. But he notices she's speaking, so he shakes the naughty thoughts off.

"That night in London I talked with Dominique. She told me about her life with Maxwell. I got scared. That's why I run away." Caroline bites her lower lip. Klaus comes closer, not leaving much space between them, and the presence of his body just inches away from hers makes her blood flow faster.

"I know." He says, stroking her golden hair, looking at her with so much affection no one would ever guess he's a cold-blooded killer. His intense, penetrating stare combined with his slightly parted full lips is enough for Caroline to wonder in which circle of hell she's going to burn. Because she wants him, she can't get that man out of her head, she can't help it. Maybe it's his animal magnetism, maybe it's her deranged mind. Or maybe both. It doesn't matter anymore. She'll be stigmatized as a murderer's girl anyway.

His lips find hers like it was the most natural thing for them to do. This time he kisses her slowly. Gently.

"But you're so much stronger now." He whispers between the light kisses he's stealing from her. His hands are roaming over her sides, stopping on her hips, then moving to her stomach, setting her body on fire. His fingers sneak under her shirt and graze over her bellybutton, then they slowly go north, taking the shirt up with them. Her arms have mind on their own—they move up, and soon her upper body is covered only with a red lacy bra. Klaus gives her a long and soft kiss before he takes a look at her body, admiring her. He loves her in red. It matches her fair skin bringing out its rosy glow.

She's nothing but a bundle of fear, adrenaline, and euphoria, all mixed up and ready to explode like a Molotov cocktail. The moment she grabs his shirt and takes it off him is the moment he loses control. Klaus pushes her onto the table and climbs on top of her, kissing her deeply and hungrily.

"On a table? Seriously?" She chuckles as he leaves a trail of burning kisses down her chest, between her breasts, changing kisses into long lustful licks. He pokes his head from above her breasts and smiles at her with that sly, cunning, cocky half-smile that makes her shiver with excitement. She missed that smile. She missed him. No one in the world can make her feel this way.

"Seriously." He mocks her, grazing his teeth against the delicate, almost paper-this skin of her chest, leaving her breathless, her body begging for him. Waiting for him to...

His phone rings in the back pocket of his jeans. It's Kol, which is weird because Kol doesn't make any calls. He is a texting addict, he never calls.

"Kol?" Klaus picks up.

"Um, sorry to disturb you, it's Meredith Fell."

"Dr. Fell?" Klaus raises his eyebrows, so does Caroline, looking at him, puzzled.

"I need you to come to the hospital. I found your brother in the woods. There's something wrong with him."

Klaus' face goes pale. "I'm on my way."

Kol slowly opens his eyes to see a blurred face. He blinks a few times to focus, and then he sees her more clearly. Her. It's a woman. A beautiful one.

"Am I dead?" He asks, still dazed and confused. The woman smiles at him, brushing a dark brown lock of hair off her face.

"You're alive, Kol. I'm Meredith, your doctor."

"Doctor. Mmmmm." He muses with a goofy smile on his face, scanning her face, drooling.

"And I'm your pissed off brother!" Klaus' voice resounds in the room and Kol's grin falters as he squeezes his eyes shut. Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit!

"Can I talk with you in private, Mr. Mikaelson?" Meredith asks, her face serious. They leave Kol with Caroline and sit down on a couch in the hallway.

"Did you know that your brother is a drug addict?"

"Dr. Fell, it's something more complicated than just an addiction." Klaus grits his teeth.

"Then please enlighten me, because otherwise I'll have to call the police."

"Don't!" He snaps, then calms himself down seeing his outburst scared her. "I will tell you, but it's confidential. Do you understand me?"

Meredith nods.

"Kol spent the last three years in a psychiatric hospital. He's been suffering from a serious case of bipolar disorder. He's been taking antidepressants and antipsychotics."

She takes a deep breath. She used to work in a psychiatric ward when she started her career. It was hell.

"Now I understand. But it seems he's not taking them anymore."

"Probably."

Meredith gapes at him. "But you are aware that it will get worse, aren't you? You have to get those meds for him."

Of course he should, but there's something Meredith doesn't know. It's better to keep it this way.

"I know. I'm working on it."

"I hope so."

When they are back home —that is, Klaus' mansion— and Kol is finally falling asleep, Caroline and Klaus sit in front of the fireplace, with glasses of wine in their hands.

"What's wrong with Kol?" Caroline's eyes are fixed absently on the red liquid in her hands.

"You won't like it."

"We have a deal. No more secrets, Klaus. If you want me to stay, you have to tell me."

He knows. He'll play according to the rules. He owes her this.

"Kol suffers from a bipolar disorder. You know, going from mania to depression. It's different for everyone. Sometimes, on his manic drive, he's overactive, also having delusions or hallucinations, escaping reality. When it's a depressive episode he's in pain, he doesn't sleep, doesn't eat. When he's in the hypomanic state, something in between, he's only uber horny."

Caroline needs a few minutes for this to sink in. It's not a hiccup, after all, it's a mental disorder.

"Does he take his medication?"

"He has to, but I'm afraid that lately he's been off meds." Klaus' head rests in his hands. He's rubbing his temples, thinking intensely about the possible ways of solving Kol's problem.

"Let's take him to a psychiatrist then." Caroline offers an obvious solution.

"It's not that easy, love. He wasn't discharged from the nuthouse. He run away from it."

TBC

A/N: You didn't think it would be simple, did you? ;) *evil laughter* not yet, not yet! When it comes, heads will roll.

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And one more thing. Go check out iluvbrendonurie's new kick-ass story The Flesh Diaries. It's going to be klarolinelicious!