Disclaimers: The following story is classified as Fan Fiction. The characters of Xena, Gabrielle and others who have appeared in the series, Xena: Warrior Princess, are the property of MCA/Universal Television and Renaissance Pictures. I only borrowed them. The story itself is mine and cannot be redistributed in any form without my consent.

Timeline: In the series, consider this a standalone story near the end of season 2. It's my version of how and why Gabrielle lost her blood innocence. No Dahok, no Hope, etc.

History Cast in Amber

by LZClotho

(c) July 1997

CHAPTER TWELVE - TOSSING AND TURNING

A light rain started that night. Gabrielle stirred to find Draco erecting a small lean-to of branches over the women's blankets.

"Shh," he whispered. "Go back to sleep."

But Gabrielle didn't. After she pushed her hair out of her face, she caught sight of her hands covered in blood again. She began to cry. Draco studied her and decided against offering solace.

The bard looked at Xena and sprang to her feet.

"Where are you going?" Draco yelled as the bard disappeared.

She didn't answer, but a moment later, Draco heard a splash as Gabrielle apparently jumped in the river. He became alarmed and knew Xena, if she survived this, wouldn't take it kindly if the bard drowned while under his care.

Even if she didn't survive this, Draco had a feeling Xena's shade wouldn't leave him alone either. He glanced over and saw Xena sleeping peacefully for the moment. He sprang to his feet and ran down to the water.

"Gabrielle, be careful!" He yelled to the young woman just as her head ducked beneath the water. "Get clean, but please, gods, don't drown!"

Gabrielle stood in the middle of the river and Draco turned his head aside. She was naked, but didn't seem to care.

"Come on, get out of that water!" He dashed back to camp and returned with a towel. He held his gaze averted as he strode into the river and reached out to envelop the bard in the towel.

He started to drag her back to the campsite, but she struggled. He debated and finally decided not to hit her. She was just so frantic. He simply wrapped the towel more tightly and forced her back down onto her blanket.

"Take care of Xena," he commanded, hoping the stern sound of his voice would snap the bard back to some semblance of herself.

It worked. Gabrielle laid a hand over Xena's shoulder, feeling the gentle rise and fall of her chest. The steady motion flowed into her own body, calming her hysteria. She started to lay her head back down when Xena stirred. The warrior thrashed as if fighting someone in her dreams.

Gabrielle sighed. She'd hoped none of the nightmares would assault her friend. Tonight of all nights, she needed her rest. She pulled herself next to Xena and cradled the woman's head in her lap, stroking her face and hair. Xena did not awaken, and her thrashing became worse.

Draco came around to the front of the lean-to and asked if she needed anything. Gabrielle shook her head. The warrior went back to his blankets, already under a lean-to.

Gabrielle studied the eyes of her friend, fluttering in the throes of some powerful dream.

Xena found herself lying in a bed in a dark tent, warm candlelight flickered over the walls. The bed shifted to her right, and, Xena tensely rolled toward the motion. Pain sliced through her sharply, taking her breath.

A man, a little older than Gabrielle, slid onto the bed. His eyes were a luminous blue. His beardless face was smooth and unblemished. When he smiled, his teeth shined white in the lamplight.

He moved to her side. "You should rest, my lady," he told her when she met his eyes. "You need your sleep."

"Who are you?" she asked. Then she remembered. "Mendices!" Xena sat up momentarily thinking that it was strange she could move at all. "I haven't seen you in ages. What are you doing in Amber?"

"I came by to see how you were doing, my lady." He reached out a hand to touch her brow. "You're still burning with fever," he commented. "Let me give you something for it."

Xena shook her head and grabbed his hand, moving it from her forehead to her cheek. "I've missed you, Mendices."

"You were beautiful fighting today, Xena. Absolutely beautiful. But now you need your rest."

"No," she said in her fierce battle lust voice, "I need you."

Mendices smiled and grasped her arms, pulling her to him in a fierce hug. Then she pulled back and kissed him on the cheek and then nuzzled the skin of his neck below his left ear.

"Make me remember what it is to live, Mendices," she whispered fiercely in his ear.

Mendices was a gentle and insistent lover. It was intoxicating, soothing and afterward, she slept more peacefully. Her fever had abated.

Gabrielle awoke to the sounds of Xena stirring. She sat up immediately and looked down at the pale face looking up. "Xena?" Gabrielle grasped the woman's hand that lay limply on her stomach. "Hi."

Xena felt the warm feeling, which had accompanied her sleep, slide away from her body. Xena ran her tongue over her lips. Gabrielle brought a waterskin to her mouth and she drank quickly. Too quickly. Gabrielle helped her up and rubbed her back for a few seconds to help ease the warrior's coughing fit.

"Oh, Gods! That hurt." Xena gasped, lying back. She took in their surroundings. "Draco," she said, noticing the former warlord asleep on the other side of the fire.

Gabrielle smiled. "He's been quite helpful. You're really a handful when you're in pain. He carried you here on Argo. I couldn't have managed it myself."

Xena nodded. She was awake now and surprised. "Either you're early, or I was unconscious a lot longer than I thought."

Gabrielle didn't misunderstand. "Ares didn't have much to do with it. I saw you fighting Fracchus and in the next instant I was out on that battlefield charging at the group of you."

Xena absorbed this. "So, how was Olympus?"

Gabrielle's jaw dropped. "How'd you know where he took me?"

"You just confirmed it," Xena replied, a smugness lacing her words. "So, how was it?"

Gabrielle thought back on her visit to that dwelling place of the gods. "Interesting. Unique. But I like it down here a lot better," she finished with a grin.

"You're all right, though, right? Ares behaved?"

"A nice guy," Gabrielle said and shrugged. "As nice as he gets. He's even quieter than you are . . . most of the time."

Xena wondered at that amended statement but said nothing. "Is there anything to eat? I'm kind of hungry."

"Well, it's nearly dawn. If you'd like, I can make some more tea, and go hunt up some berries. Bread's in the saddlebags."

Xena nodded. "I'd like that." As the bard got up to fetch the food, Xena called her back to her side. "Gabrielle?"

"Yes, Xena?"

"Stick close. I'd rather you not disappear now that you're back."

The bard smiled warmly. "I'd prefer that too. See you in a few minutes."

Xena struggled to sit up gingerly and stretched carefully to retrieve the stick Draco had used to tend the fire the evening before. She poked at the embers, sparking the fire back to life. She felt better, though stiff, for her efforts.

Draco awoke at a particularly loud pop, as some damp wood came in contact with a flame. He grabbed his sword, having only laid it on his other side when he fell asleep.

"Good morning, Draco," said Xena.

Draco sat up and grumbled something vile. "You're certainly not a morning person," commented Gabrielle as she returned carrying a load of berries cradled in her skirts.

Draco smiled up at Gabrielle. "You're chipper. I hate that," he groaned.

Xena smiled. "Trust me. She likes mornings. It's how long it takes to wake her up that drives me crazy..." Xena took a good look at her friend. There were circles under her eyes and the shadow of pain in her expression.

"Are you all right, Gabrielle?"

Gabrielle looked at Xena, remembering how she had killed to protect this woman. But she didn't want Xena to know that. It would put an enormous weight on the warrior's shoulders, and right now, Gabrielle knew, she needed to focus on healing. She forced a shrug. "I'm fine. How are you feeling, Xena?" Gabrielle dropped her harvest of berries into a bowl and used a rock she'd fetched out of the river to crush some. Then she spread the mashed fruit on several chunks of bread from the saddlebags. Draco accepted bread with crushed fruit but declined the offer of tea. He frequently paused between bites to swig from his waterskin. Xena accepted a hunk of bread and a mug of the tea still sitting near the edge of the fire.

While she ate, Xena contemplated her body's signals. Finally, after a soothing sip of tea, she answered the bard, "Right now all I really feel is stiff."

"No more fever?"

Xena shook her head. "No more fever."

Gabrielle's smile returned. "Good. I wanted to thank you...for everything last night."

"You're welcome." The former warlord turned to Xena, "You've got quite a friend there, Warrior Princess. Fights like a warrior. Why the way she took out Fracchus -"

Xena sat up, wincing at the stiffness of her side. "Took out? Gabrielle, you lost your staff. What'd you hit him with?" Her voice barely concealed her suspicions. In her head she recalled a flash of light above Gabrielle's head, when she'd caught sight of the bard behind Fracchus on the battlefield.

Gabrielle sat down. "I hit him with the - sword - in my hands." She looked down at her hands and remembered her mad dash across the open ground and finally striking out. "I - I struck at him with a wide arc. I hit him. He's. . .dead." Gabrielle looked up waiting for the explosion. It didn't come.

Xena laid back and closed her eyes. "Could you take our stuff to the river and wash it out," she said calmly to the other warrior.

Draco nodded. He had seen a darkness cloud Xena's eyes before she closed them. A deep anger was banking in those blue eyes.

When Draco was out of sight, Gabrielle took the mug from Xena's hands. "What's the matter?"

"I'm sorry you got involved in this." Under her breath, she murmured, "I'll kill him."

"What?"

Xena sat up. "Gabrielle, you killed someone. I asked Ares to keep you safe. And he betrayed that promise."

"I didn't!" Ares popped into the clearing. "She killed Fracchus! I had nothing to do with it!"

Xena scowled at the God of War, who, to Gabrielle, looked like nothing so much as a husband who was about to be tongue-lashed for staying out too late drinking.

"What's wrong? Ares?" Gabrielle came to her feet and stood between Ares and Xena, looking at the God of War. She saw the anger, and the hurt. She'd guessed it was possible for Xena to hurt the god, from everything she'd learned in Olympus, but here was the proof. "Xena's hurt. She doesn't know what she's saying."

Ares pushed the bard aside. "I am not going to have her blaming me for this." Gabrielle looked confused. "You took your first life. On her account." To Xena, he added, "She willed herself to your side. Not much I could do about it."

Xena was struggling to sit up, looking around for a weapon. Gabrielle turned and pushed her back down. She grabbed Xena's chin. "Listen to me. He's telling the truth! Do not put any blame for this on yourself, you hear me? I was protecting you the only way available at the time. I wasn't about to let Fracchus chop your head off."

Xena looked from Gabrielle to Ares and then down at her wound. She glared at Ares, and then took a deep breath, her eyes meeting Gabrielle's. "I'm not happy about it."

"Neither am I, but I'd do it again -" Gabrielle met the dark eyes of the God of War. "To save Xena's life."

"How noble of you, little bard. But once tasting of death's sweetness you didn't even wash the blood from your hands."

"That doesn't make me a murderer. Fracchus was an instrument of yours. I'll not regret sending him to Hades..." Gabrielle finished with a vicious verbal cut, "Especially since I can't send you there."

Ares nodded his head with approval. "Touché. I shall leave you with your thoughts. Both of you."

With that, the God of War strode to the edge of the clearing and vanished. Gabrielle sank to her knees, her face in her hands. "I can't believe I just threatened him."

"Comes easier when you know him," Xena murmured. "And as much as I hate the fact, Gabrielle, you now know the mind of the God of War."

Gabrielle considered that, seeing Xena glaring at the spot where Ares had vanished. And I've had a glimpse of his heart, too, I think. She remembered the pain in Ares' face when Xena's accusations struck him. "And that will be his undoing," she murmured.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing." Gabrielle forced a smile. "We need some more water for tea. I'll be right back." Gabrielle snatched up a waterskin and headed for the river.

Xena frowned and tried to stand to follow her friend. But Draco emerged and motioned for her to sit.

"Why don't you sit and rest for a while? The wound is seeping a bit." Draco's words brought Xena's attention to her side. The stitching was beginning to be visible through the paste and there was blood dripping down her hip.

Draco went to his blanket and shook it out, rolling it tightly and stowed it with Xena's saddle. Xena sat and began to unpack the wound herself, but Gabrielle came up and gently slapped her hands aside. "I'll do it," she told the warrior, and expertly began sluicing away the paste from the stitching. "Thank the gods, the stitching isn't pulling out."

Xena studied her friend's face carefully, looking to see what changes had come over the bard. Gabrielle had been very insistent that the killing was her idea, but Xena wasn't entirely sure Ares didn't have something to do with it. The opportunity, a nudge mentally here or there...something. She studied Gabrielle, hoping her friend's innocence wasn't completely gone.

Xena didn't remember much about her own first killing; one of Cortese's men no doubt, since that was the first pitched battle she'd ever been in. There was a hardness about Gabrielle now. She had been fairly stern faced through the encounter with Ares, and there had been no softness in her eyes when she'd held Xena's chin, conveying her guilt. She winced as Gabrielle prodded the cleaned wound. Then the bard announced Xena ready for more salve and a bandage.

Gabrielle returned from the saddlebags with several small cloths and a larger strip of fabric. She applied the salve and then had Xena hold one of the small cloths against her side as she wound the large fabric strip around Xena's middle twice before tightening it and tying it off in a small knot.

"How's that feel?" asked the bard, sitting back on her heels and examining her handiwork.

Xena straightened her back and slowly turned at the waist. "Not bad. The pressure feels good, not constrictive. I could probably help clear camp."

Draco shook his head. "I'm returning to my camp alone, Xena. You and Gabrielle ought to move on."

The Warrior Princess looked at Draco. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I can handle any other scum that come traipsing into Corinth."

Gabrielle nodded. "I'll pack you some food. It's a long walk back to your camp, and your horse is still at the battlefield, I think."

Draco shook his head. "No doubt he returned to camp with my remaining men shortly after I took my leave with you."

"Well, then, you have an even longer walk ahead. Let me pack you something." Gabrielle got to her feet and rummaged through their packs coming up with a cloth in which she wrapped some cheese, a hunk of bread, and stowed some uncrushed berries. She dropped the bundle into Draco's hands when he stood. "Thank you," the warrior said.

"Thank you," Gabrielle replied. She looked into his face and saw admiration. She knew it was reflected in her own eyes. "You're a good man, Draco."

Draco turned aside. "Coming from you that is a great compliment." Draco turned and smiled at the bard, then down at Xena, still seated on the ground. "I really do like this helpful stuff. But you're not for me," he told the bard.

Gabrielle smiled, relieved that Draco apparently wouldn't be following them around. Then she frowned, realizing Draco wouldn't be following them around. "Oh," was all she could come up with to say.

Draco turned and strode out of the camp. Xena came to her feet slowly and hugged the bard from behind. "I'm glad you're back."

Gabrielle shook herself from watching Draco go and turned to Xena. "So am I. Shall we pack up? Want to go visit another old warlord friend of yours?"

Xena thought a moment then shook her head. "Actually, I think we both need to return to yesterday's battlefield."

Gabrielle's eyes widened and she stepped back from Xena. "No."

Xena shook her head. "Gabrielle, we need to make sure all the dead are buried. Fracchus' army disbanded. I doubt anyone dragged away any of the bodies."

"That's what I'm afraid of," stated the bard.

Xena nodded. "I know, but it has to be done. Without burial, the shades of the dead will haunt the living."

Nodding her compliance, Gabrielle grabbed their small shovel and followed Xena from the camp.