The street outside City Hall was deserted, as was to be expected this late at night. Phil and Bender were standing in an alley by one of the building's ground floor windows. Leela, her parents, and the other mutants watched from the Planet Express conference room as the televised image of Bender laughed at the thick iron bars that stood between him and the glass window pane.
"What are you gonna do, bend those bars?" Phil asked. His voice sounded a little strange, probably because the microphone that was recording everything was planted inside his body.
I wonder if that's what Fry thinks his voice sounds like? Leela wondered.
"Gee moron, you think?" Bender retorted before grabbing two of the iron bars and pulling outward. The rods of metal bent with little effort, and soon came free of the concrete that held them in place. Bender tossed the mangled iron to the pavement and started to do a little dance.
"Oh yeah, who's great? Me, Bender. Bender's great. Oh yeah."
In the Planet Express conference room, there were a few puzzled glances exchanged by the onlooking sewer mutants.
"Is this some kind of above grounder victory dance, or something?" Vyolet asked.
Leela rolled her eye. "No. You'll have to excuse my friends. They're idiots." The cyclops pressed down on a button on her wrist computer. "Stop showing off, Bender" she ordered, her disembodied voice, which emanated from the pill that Fry had swallowed, lagging behind by a fraction of a second. "We've got a job to do."
Bender stopped dancing and snorted rudely. "Alright, fine. Fry, or Phil, or whoever you are right now, give me that tool I aksed you to hold for me."
The camera that was generating Leela's field of view was mounted on Phil's forehead, so she couldn't see his reaction, but, based on the fact the camera suddenly dropped an inch or two, Leela would have guessed that he'd just furrowed his brow. "Tool? What tool?"
"What are you, stupid?" Bender put up his hands before Phil could respond. "Wait, sorry, dumb question. That diamond glass cutter I gave you. I need it."
"You mean that wasn't a piece of rock candy? Huh. Well, that explains why it tasted so awful, and why my throat is bleeding."
Bender slapped his forehead and then looked directly into the camera. "Leela, permission to strangle Phil until he passes out?"
"Negative." Leela replied. "Switch to plan B."
"Roger that. Come on, Phil. Help me look for a rock."
The camera started to jostle around as Phil bent over to help search. Leela turned away in frustration and walked to the conference room railing. A moment later, Munda appeared behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. "Leela, honey, are you sure it was a good idea sending these two on this mission?"
Leela put up her hands in a helpless gesture. "What other choice was there? It's not like I have tons of friends who I can trust with knowing my secret heritage and are willing to risk their lives to help you."
"I guess that's true." Munda admitted before moving to Leela's side. The older cyclops wrapped a tentacle around the worn metal railing and looked out over the hangar. "So this is where you work," she said, fascinated. "And that is a real life spaceship."
Leela followed her alternate-mother's gaze to the bow of the ship. Her ship. "Yep." It was inadequate, but it was all that Leela could find to say.
"Your father and I are very proud of you, Leela."
"I know Mom. And someday, I'm going to take you and Dad up into space in that ship."
"I'd like that very much." Munda said, and the two of them embraced. The hug was brief, however, as Leg Mutant called them back to the television screen. Bender had found a brick lying on the ground somewhere, and he was winding up to toss it through the window that he had de-barred.
"Isn't this going to set off an alarm?" Raoul asked Leela.
"Well, normally, yes, but Bender already bribed the program that runs the building's security systems. As long as they don't run into an actual guard or trip any of the non-bribable, non-robotic alarms, they should be fine."
There was a loud crash followed by a chuckle. Leela looked up at the screen to see shards of glass raining down from the now-vanished window. Bender walked over to the hole and sent his extendable arms probing into the room. Eventually he found something sturdy enough to satisfy him, and his arms began to retract. The robot's body slid noisily up over the window still and disappeared from view. A moment later, a robotic arm reappeared in the window and Bender's left hand planted itself firmly right below the camera's field of view, right where Phil's neck would be. The camera angle tilted crazily. Leela blinked once and suddenly a plush, blue carpet filled the television screen.
Moments later Phil had stopped gasping for breath, regained his feet, brushed himself off, and obliged Leela's request that he look around so that she could see his surroundings. I gotta hand it to him. Leela told herself. He can recover from physical trauma pretty fast. That was probably due in no small part to the nanites that were now permanent residents of his bloodstream. One of Farnsworth's few good inventions.
Leela thought she recognized the part of the building that her two friends were in. "That's one of the main hallways." Leela whispered into her wrist computer. "You want to turn right. That should be the way to the stairs." The camera shook up and down, which was probably Phil forgetting that she couldn't see him nod his head.
After a few moments of walking in silence, Phil suddenly made a left turn into a darkened room. Bender, who'd been in front of him, continued walking, oblivious to the fact that Phil wasn't following him anymore.
"What's Fry doing?" Raoul asked Leela.
"I don't know." She said, perplexed. "Maybe he heard somebody coming. But if he's hiding, then why didn't he warn Bender?"
A light flicked on, illuminating Phil's surroundings. "He's hiding in the restroom next to the lobby. That idiot. Someone will see the light under the crack in the door." Leela reached for her wrist computer but stopped herself. If the light didn't give him away, Leela's voice certainly would.
Phil wandered slowly to the other end of the small space. "You know, he doesn't really look like he's trying to hide from somebody." Morris commented. "It looks more like he-"
Zzzziiiipppp…
"Abort! Abort!" Raoul was yelling frantically. Leela averted her eye just in time, but Vyolet wasn't so lucky.
"Ahhh! I'm blind!"
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"Phil, remind me to kick your ass when this is over." Leela growled into her wrist computer.
"Look, I'm sorry." The delivery boy whined. "I forgot you were watching."
"Just keep moving." Phil's breathing was becoming labored. Bender had been waiting for him at the bottom of the building's southern staircase, and the two of them were now working their way toward the floor that held Poopenmeyer's office.
"Tell me again why we couldn't use the elevator?" Phil wheezed.
"Because one of the guards would hear the elevator running." Leela answered impatiently. "It's only three flights of stairs, Phil. A little exercise will be good for you. If it doesn't give you a heart attack.
After much wheezing and gasping, Phil and Bender made it to the right floor. Bender cautiously opened the fire door and leaned out into the hallway beyond. He signaled to Phil that the coast was clear, and the two of them made their way to the waiting room outside Poopenmeyer's office. Bender moved to the locked office door while Phil looked around the waiting room. In a matter of moments, Bender had the door open.
"Wow." Phil remarked, obviously impressed. "You bypassed that security system already? I don't think even R2-D2 could have done it that fast."
"Pfft. Bypassed, nothing." Bender retorted. "I knew the Mayor's security lock back in high school; he's like the biggest drunk ever. All I had to do was offer him a couple of bottles of booze and he let me in."
_____________________________________________________________________________
Leela watched as Phil set the mutants' Bill of Rights down on the Mayor's polished oak desk. The PE Captain looked around her at the mutants. Each of them wore expressions of extreme concentration. They had just made a move that there was no turning back from, and they all knew it.
Phil started to head for the door, but he stopped on the threshold. The camera whirled to face Bender, who was still by the desk.
"Hey Bender, are you coming?" The delivery boy asked.
"Yeah, just a sec. I'm looking for a- Ooh…" The robot held up a gold-plated analog watch that had been hidden in one of the desk's lower drawers. "This thing'll pay for a month's worth of gambling!" Opening his chest cabinet, Bender tossed the object inside. "Alright, let's get the hell out of here."
Phil and Bender left the office, worked their way back along the corridor, and started to descend the building's staircase. They'd made it about halfway to the ground floor when they heard footsteps coming from below. Fry and Bender froze.
"Hide, you morons!" Leela hissed into her wrist computer. Her voice broadcasted over Phil's communicator louder than she'd anticipated, but the rhythm of foot falls from below didn't change. Bender grabbed Phil by the collar and dragged him up a few stairs to a landing that they had passed moments earlier. The two of them hurried out of the stairwell into the hallway beyond and tried to shut the fire door behind them as silently as possible. They'd run maybe a third of the way down the hall when the door they'd just closed began to open.
"Quick, in here!" Bender whispered, tossing Fry through the nearest doorway. The robot shut the beat up metal door behind him and chuckled. "Heh, heh. The perfect getaw- aww, crap."
Fry turned around to follow Bender's gaze, and the camera planted on his forehead panned across several computer consoles and a bank of blank televisions before finally settling on the two security officers who were staring, dumbfounded by what was going on. A moment later, the door opened behind Phil, who whirled around to look. Another guard stood in the doorway holding a bag of Dinkin Donuts, staring at the robot and the delivery boy in much the same way as his fellows.
"Uh, I caught the intruder." Bender said, pointing at Fry.