I'll Be Home For Christmas (but guess who's coming to dinner):

Alan hummed along to the Christmas music playing on the radio as he made his way through traffic; typical, except for the three programs and cat riding with him.

It had started harmlessly enough. Questions from Tron about Christmas and User traditions had lead him to extend an invitation to experience it for both Tron and Yori. Yori had agreed immediately; Tron had taken a little more convincing. Not because he wasn't interested but because- unsurprisingly- of his fervour over safe guarding the system. Ultimately he acquiesced only after Anon snapped that Tron's lack of faith in his abilities was insulting and Rezz literally threatened to shove him onto the transporter pad himself saying 'do not come back until the New Year'.

That was when Tron looked at him with eyes best suited for a begging puppy and asked if he could bring Ram along. Alan hadn't even batted an eye when he agreed; partially because it was the first time Tron seemed comfortable enough with asking for something- but mostly because he'd become fond of the plucky little actuary program.

It was just before he went to call Lora to let her know when she phoned him giddy over the fact that Jet had managed to get the time off and was going to come home for the holiday; which inspired her to invite the rest of the 'family' along for the festivities.

So this Christmas he was going to be celebrating with his wife, Jet, Sam, Tron, Ed, Quorra, Melissa, Yori, Roy, Ram, and Rinzler; and yes, while technically that last one was, in fact, a cat- he was pretty sure the ex-program had completely missed that memo. Twelve very 'unique' individuals under one roof; it was certain to be loud, chaotic, and absolutely insane. Alan smiled.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

Let It Snow (Just not on me):

It was called 'snow'. He'd heard the staff talking about it as it fell this week. From their excited chatter he'd come to assume it was a magical material that transformed everything it touched in wondrous ways. In a way, he supposed they were right. It did change things…

It made them wet, white, and cold… He hated snow.

So when they finally pulled up to his house, Rinzler's first inclination was to leap on 'not-quite- Lora's' shoulder's and avoid the whole mess. A sharp glare and aborted growl from Tron had him reconsider. Not that he was particularly scared of the Monitor- but Tron had demonstrated a tendency to make his displeasure known physically when issues were pushed.

Rinzler jumped off into the snow, growling his annoyance as the sopping, freezing mess burned the pads of his feet and stuck to his fur. A loud bark signalled that his bad situation was about to get worse.

Apparently Sam, in his infinite wisdom, had decided that the slobbering mass of clumsy stupidity he dared call a 'dog' needed to be part of the festivities. Worse, despite repeated attempts at removing the beast's eyes- it seemed the moronic creature wanted to play with him. Raising the fur on his back, he shot into the deeper snow- attempting to avoid the nuisance at all costs. The dog- Marvin- came up to the car, suddenly looking lost now that his 'playmate' had disappeared. Rinzler watched as Alan and the programs greeted the animal, waiting for the dog to zero in on his position like it had countless times before.

Marvin looked around, venturing slightly into the snow uncertainly as it sniffed the air and offered a whinny bark; then it turned with its head low and trailed behind the humans to the front door.

Rinzler blinked in surprise before looking around at his position. It was true that the snow diminished the heat from his body- it was now becoming clear to him that it also diminished his scent and sounds from detection.

He smiled wickedly and pushed his way through the deep snow, keeping low to remain invisible as he moved parallel to his target. He tuned out the noise of the humans greeting each other and dismissed the allure of warmth the open door offered. The mutt was on the edge of the porch; interested in the people and the attention they might provide- keeping his back foolishly to the snow.

Seconds turned infinite as he made his way forward, timing his attack to the jerky movements of his prey. Suddenly he lunged forward, snarling while launching himself in the air on a deadly trajectory.

The beast never stood a chance, and only managed to squeak out a yelp before his full weight hit the smaller animal. Even more gloriously, the direction of the hit lobbed the dog into the thickest pile of snow. The annoyed cries from Sam were washed out by the much louder howls of the mutt as it bolted in terror into the house.

He rectified his earlier statement… He loved snow.

Oh, Holy Crap (or is that supposed to be 'Night')

Lora hummed the current Christmas song lodged in her brain as she blow-dried Rinzler's damp fur while brushing her other hand gently through it. It was always gratifying when she could turn the normally stoic feline on her lap into a purring, rumbling sack- though she'd never admit that to him.

"Okay, that's just not fair."

She snorted, not bothering to look up at her youngest son as she continued with her task. She didn't have any doubt he could see her wry smile.

'Now, now Sam; no reason to be jealous… If it's really that important to you, after I'm finished with Rinzler, you can sit at my feet and I'll blow dry your hair."

Sam huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes before narrowing them and pointing a finger at Rinzler.

"My dog is huddled in a corner, whimpering in terror and the fleabag responsible is getting the full spa treatment."

She could feel as Rinzler tensed up and turned to look at Sam; worrying when the purring was cut off instantaneously, switching to a low snarl in the cats throat. Sam took a step back, and Lora put the hair dryer down, placing the hand that had been massaging him on his front shoulders and using the other to cup his face. Rinzler startled before shooting a glance up at her. She smiled and ran a thumb along his cheek.

"Hey- it's Christmas… Just let it go and let me finish getting your fur back to dry and warm."

Rinzler continued to look at her for a moment before lying back down on his side. She looked up at Sam.

"That goes the same for you… Play nice."

Sam crossed his arms and huffed, but there wasn't any weight behind it.

'It's still not fair."

She nodded in mock intensity.

'Truly there is no justice in the world anymore."

They all startled as someone pounded on the front door and then threw it open with gusto.

"We're He-re!"

Rinzler shot up from under her hand as they all turned to see Melissa and Ed stomp into the house carrying parcels and food. The cat hissed quietly as the ex-virus began taking off her winter gear while talking a mile a minute.

"Sorry we're late… Ed got mad at me because I cannibalized his 'precious' toaster for parts I needed to complete a gift; I tried telling him that I used the toaster because it was the least reliable of the kitchen minions- but I just ended up getting another lecture. Why do we wrap presents? It costs money, it adds an extra step for everyone- and all we do is rip it apart and throw it in the garbage anyway…And then we argued because he still won't let me drive, so I shoved him into the snow pile the plough made in the parking lot of the store we went to so he could replace said minion- and that sales clerk needed a serious beat down. She was rude- and all I was doing was making suggestions on how they could operate their sector better. Are we going to have eggnog? I know what eggs taste like, but I'm not sure I've ever had 'nog' before. Does that have anything to do with the character on Deep Space Nine series? And why is it that everyone goes around talking about 'peace, love and joy' when all I see are people running around like someone screamed 'virus on the grid'? For that matter- how come other people only have to keep to those three rules at Christmas, and Ed makes me obey them all through the freakin' year?! Oh- are those sugar cookie- I love those!"

She could feel the cat tensing like a spring, and she was silently counting down in her head. She had heard the stories. It was in mid rant about Christmas cooking that Melissa finally drew her full attention to where they were; her reaction was immediate.

"Rinzler!"

Lora blinked in surprise at the speed in which the cat bolted from her lap and tore out of the room- Melissa right on his heels. True she'd heard the stories about those two but- unlike Sam's ongoing feud- she'd never witnessed it. Ed just sighed and chuckled as he plopped himself next to her on the sofa.

"I'm going to just go ahead and apologize now for everything she does this Christmas."

Lora chuckled to herself when the sound of Rinzler howling in rage echoed through the house. She stood up and shook her head with a sigh.

"Well… I guess that's my cue to go rescue the poor guy."

She couldn't help but notice the wide smile on Sam's face as he laughed.

"Well… What do you know…? Guess there is justice in the world after all."

Did you Hear What I Heard? (Should we run?)

It was taking time to get used to the User world. Not only because of the functioning differences, but simply because of how things looked. Everything was brighter and richer and better textured. It wasn't to the point of being overwhelming, not yet anyway- but it was leaving him speechless; which he was sure Clu would make a crack about if he ever found out.

"So… What's your impression so far?"

Ram blinked and looked up at Tron, who was smiling at him in a way that said he was sympathetic to the sensory overload. He smiled and shook his head.

"It's… Incredible."

It was. But what was truly remarkable was seeing Tron in this world. The greatest shock of being reunited with his old friend was how intense, brooding, and broken he'd become. He'd almost gone into a processor loop when Sam had confessed that his friend had actually been in much worse shape when they'd first found him after the re-integration. But here, he'd watched Tron gradually allow the invisible weight he carried slide off his shoulders. It started in the car, where he slowly started becoming more and more animated in his speech. Now Tron was practically hyper- in comparison- sharing humorous stories about his experiences in the User world as he dragged him around the house so he was familiar with the layout. Currently they were in a hallway with a lot of doors, and Tron was motioning to each of them.

"The first two doors on the right are Jet's room and where Sam and Quorra will sleep. The next one is the bathroom, and the one after that is yours… It's called a 'den'. Alan borrowed a few of what he called 'blow up mattresses'- so you'll be sleeping on one of those, apparently. Alan did tell you and Roy would be sharing the room, right?"

Ram nodded. He had been told- but it still was a little overwhelming to be in close proximity to the human who'd coded him. Something obviously showed on his face, because the next thing he knew, Tron placed a hand on his shoulder; he looked up and his friend smiled reassuringly.

"Don't worry- by the time we go home you'll be two bits in an energy pool."

"You think?"

"I know… And trust me… With this group- you'll want the backup."

Ram laughed and went to reply but was startled by a loud excited 'squeak' from the end of the hall. They both turned to see a young woman he'd never seen before run up to them. The figure was strange; he didn't think User's eyes were capable of being purple, and her overall look would best be described as 'alien'. She stopped right in front of them giving Tron a spastic wave.

"Hi Tron!"

She turned to him and launched out a hand in a standard- but unusual- User greeting.

"You must be Ram! Ed said you'd be coming… I'm Ed's girlfriend… Now anyway. Before I tried to attack and kill him and Sam; I was the virus that was trying to take over your system. I probably would have succeeded because I am pretty bad ass when I'm not limited by the filters Ed put in place- but then I ended up getting zapped here. Apparently it's wrong to just randomly delete anyone in this world. So now I help Encom prevent other viruses from invading the system. I also have a few other hobbies- but Ed doesn't let me bring my spider collection to show people; he says it weirds them out."

She paused, standing there with a smile on her face as Ram retracted his hand and looked over to Tron. Tron looked back and gave a single nod; apparently she wasn't joking. Ram swallowed and went to reply when Melissa suddenly shook herself and laughed self-consciously.

"Oh right… Um… actually the reason I came here was because Lora said to tell you Roy's arrived."

Ram went rigid when the apparent virus zeroed all her attention on him.

"You'll love Roy… He's like you- but even better! He's the one who figured out the wording to the 'rules of conduct' agreement I had to sign in place of being deleted. He actually managed to write it so there is absolutely no loophole in the 'don't kill anyone' clause! You'd be surprised how hard that actually is- I'm even better at working around conditioning then I am at infecting system… Come on- he'll be in the kitchen."

With that she turned and ran back down the hall. Ram just stood in stunned silence for a moment. Eventually he cleared his throat.

"Wow."

Tron hummed an agreement. Ram blinked.

"…Wow"

Tron patted his shoulder.

"Yep."

Ram whistled and then laughed incredulously.

"Okay… So I spent an hour in a car with a cat that used to be part of invasive coding in your format; and I just had the most terrifyingly pleasant conversation with a virus I've ever had…"

He rolled his head along his shoulders, looking up at the Monitor.

"Be honest… This week is going to get weirder, isn't it?"

Tron hummed again, this time adding a smile.

"You have no idea."

Ram nodded to himself and started walking down the hall.

"Okay- time to align myself with my User… Apparently I'm going to need the backup."