A/N: Yeah. I was forced to write YET AGAIN about the FALSEHOOD about Carlisle's bits. See. I don't believe he has definition. But I was FORCED to write otherwise. Oye.

Carlisle was not a very good sleeper on the best days.

Esme used to say his head was too full. His thoughts only gave him a few hours respite at a time before they were buzzing about his head, keeping him awake.

He'd never awoken quite like this.

He was nude and slightly sticky, his body covered as it was in a sheen of sweat... and a twenty-one year old man.

Jasper's weight was solid on his chest - not unpleasant, but definitely radiating heat.

In the quiet of the night, with all his adrenaline drained and passion cooled for the moment, all Carlisle's fears and worries were buzzing around in his head making it impossible to sleep.

Too many questions, most of which he needed the man currently contentedly asleep in his arms to answer. He toyed briefly with shaking the younger man awake, but that seemed rude. He thought fleetingly of waking him by other, more pleasant means, but quickly grew too shy at the idea.

So he laid awake, stewing, his fingers making idle trails through Jasper's long, sweat-dampened hair.

Before he assaulted Jasper with questions about what he wanted, it was only fair to examine his own desires.

It was disconcerting how quickly he'd gone from being entirely oblivious about his attraction to Jasper to being... well... besotted.

Carlisle knew himself at least well enough to understand his actions toward Jasper weren't merely physical. It was the physical expression he had no construct for, and that was why they'd met with such disastrous results.

He knew how to care for another person, to express affection with word and deed.

Somewhere along the line, he'd fallen for Jasper without even realizing it.

Again Peter's words echoed in Carlisle's head, but he wondered how accurate they were. Was Jasper really in love with him, or was this a dalliance borne of a long held obsession? The forbidden fruit always did taste the sweetest.

Carlisle was somewhat surprised how much that thought ached - that this wasn't meaningful to Jasper. Carlisle couldn't deny he was scared to death of all these changes, but that didn't mean he wanted to brush it all under the table as a fast fuck.

Or fast blow job. Whatever.

Jasper made a small sighing, snuffling sound and stirred a little. As nervous as he was, Carlisle couldn't help but smile. It was a peaceful sound, and he liked the way Jasper's head shifted, like he found comfort in his unorthodox pillow.

He was a beautiful man, Carlisle considered. He traced the pad of a single finger about Jasper's full, slightly pouted lips. He was a little startled when Jasper's mouth opened, and he took Carlisle's finger in, sucking lightly.

Looking down, Carlisle watched, fascinated, as his eyelashes fluttered revealing warm, hooded eyes. His throat got tight as his finger was fully enveloped in Jasper's slick, hot mouth.

Slowly, his eyes still intent on Carlisle, Jasper began to stroke up and down his side, his fingers tickling and titillating.

Releasing his finger, Jasper shifted, tangling their legs together. He began pressing tiny, sleepy kisses to Carlisle's chest, stopping to flick his tongue over his nipple. The older man's breath stuttered, his hands shaky as they caressed the skin of Jasper's neck.

The younger man paused and then lifted head. He stared for a moment. "You're freaking out a little bit, aren't you?" he asked finally, his voice alluringly scratchy.

Carlisle opened his mouth to deny it, but no sound came out.

Jasper straightened up, readjusting himself so he was laying beside Carlisle instead of mostly on top of him. There was a twinkle in his eye as he smiled. "Maybe we could stand to do with some more talking before..." he gestured around them.

Carlisle let out a gust of breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He banged his head back against his pillow, chuckling wryly. "I'm sorry," he said, his tone quiet, bordering on ashamed. "I wish I had your confidence."

"Well, my confidence was a learned behavior, and I didn't have the background you did."

"Still. It seems a little ridiculous." Carlisle turned his head, studying the other man's face, his beautiful features, in the increasingly brighter light of day. "I don't regret last night. At all." This seemed like the more important thing to get across.

Jasper's grin broadened. "Good. That makes two of us." Slowly, he reached a hand up, smoothing Carlisle's hair back. "You can talk to me."

Feeling foolish and too nervous, Carlisle's natural tact escaped him for a moment, and one of the millions of inane to life-altering thoughts tumbled out before he could stop it. "Are you doing this to get back at your mother?"

Jasper's body stiffened visibly, his eyes narrowing.

"I'm sorry," Carlisle said again. "That came out wrong."

"My mother is dead." Jasper's tone is flat.

"So is my father, but that didn't stop me from doing things I knew would piss him off," Carlisle returned.

Jasper glared at him. "Are youdoing this to get back at my mother?"

Carlisle blinked, shocked and a little hurt by the implication. "What do I have to be angry at her about? Almost the entire time I knew her, I knew she was going to die."

"She still left you," Jasper muttered, sounding bitter. He took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm angry at her for leaving. And I'm... pissed as hell that you both kept her illness a secret from me."

"That wasn't my choice," Carlisle said quietly. "It was one of the only things we ever argued about - her not telling you. I didn't agree at all, but it was what she wanted."

Jasper hummed in acknowledgement, and they were both silent for a minute, processing.

"To answer your question... what's happening between you and me has nothing to do with my mother," Jasper finally answered.

"Are you sure? Because, psychologically speaking-"

"I'm sure," Jasper snapped.

He sat up, pulling the sheet with him as if he were a little cold. He folded his knees up to his chest and stared forward, looking about as nervous as Carlisle typically felt. "I guess you deserve to hear this story," Jasper muttered, running a restless hand through his hair.

Carlisle rolled onto his side, a little apprehensive about what could have Jasper so shaken.

"Okay. You've always done some mentoring for troubled kids here and there," Jasper stated, not asking. "Well, four years ago - before I broke my leg and therefore before you met my mother - I knew you. We mentored at the same place. I was trying to be impressive for my college application; you were just being you - a great guy."

Carlisle sucked in a breath. "I... I don't remember you at all."

Jasper didn't look at him but he smirked. "I know. I was... shy around you, if you can believe it." He rolled his eyes, looking down at Carlisle. "I mean, can you blame me? I was a seventeen year old kid. You were this sexy doctor. So far out of my league. I'd watch you with that boy you used to mentor. "Alec, right?"

"That's right," Carlisle murmured, a little stunned.

"Week after week, while I was with my kid, I was watching you with yours." He shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable. "It really wasn't fair. You were amazing with him. Kind and patient even when he didn't deserve it. Hell, especiallywhen he didn't deserve it. I saw the way he tried to get under your skin, tried to push you away like he did everyone else, but you weren't having it."

He shifted a little, still staring sightlessly, a small smile playing at his lips. "I got a little obsessed," he admitted. "I didn't know how you could ever like a kid like me... but then I got to convincing myself. We aren't that far apart in age, all things considered. I really didn't mesh well with the high school crowd anyway."

His smile somewhat sardonic, he looked down at Carlisle. "I had a plan. I had every intention of seducing you in another couple of months when I turned eighteen."

Carlisle was completely astonished. "But then you broke your leg..." he surmised.

"Then I broke my leg," Jasper said wryly. "And you married my mother. And if the world was fair, that would have been enough to break my crush. But it wasn't. It only got worse when I was more... exposed to you."

He took a deep breath and laid down on his side so they were face to face again. "So there's the whole truth. I've been in love with you for longer than you've known I existed."

Though he was noticeably trying to keep his tone light, there was a tinge around the edge that was vulnerable. Carlisle could see it in the other man's eyes - how much it cost him to let go of this secret.

He didn't know what to say. He wished he had known at the time, but then again, how different things would be. If he'd known of Jasper's attraction from the get go, he might have made sure his relationship with Esme and her son remained nothing but professional; he might not have ever gotten to know her as a friend, let alone a lover. And without Esme's guidance, he might still be where he had been before they met: entirely sexually repressed.

And then, if Jasper had been able to carry out his plan to seduce Carlisle, could it have worked? An eighteen year old boy might not have had the insight and patience to see what Esme saw, to help him the way Esme had.

Raising his hand, Carlisle cupped Jasper's face, stroking his cheek with his thumb as he considered all this.

"So you and me..." he began slowly, swallowing hard because this conversation was not easy for him. "This is serious to you."

Jasper's breath was a little shaky, but he reached out, resting his arm around Carlisle's side. "That's what I want. That's what I've always wanted," he said in a low tone. He bit his lip before he started to babble. "I mean, I know this is new, so we don't have to be serious-serious. Even though we're technically already moved in together." He laughed nervously. "We can still... If you're more comfortable with-"

Leaning in, Carlisle silenced his babble with a soft, slow kiss.

Instantly, Jasper relaxed, sighing into Carlisle's mouth. Carlisle felt his tongue against his bottom lip and let his mouth open.

This was the reconnection he needed. Again, most of his worries faded, replaced by an ever encroaching desire. There were still things to figure out, things to talk about, but the more important questions were out of the way. All their past baggage was laid bare for the other to see.

And neither of them were running.

It was a good place to be considering where they'd stared.

As they kissed, Carlisle hesitated a moment, uncertain until he recalled Jasper's face the previous evening, the pleasure he'd been able to bring the younger man. The memory emboldened him enough that he let his fingers trail down Jasper's chest. He skimmed them lightly over his taut belly, making Jasper gasp, before he traced the line of his length.

Jasper broke their kiss but only moved his lips to Carlisle's neck, shifting so their legs were tangled and his cock was pressing up against his palm. His own hands were busy following the line of Carlisle's spine down, down until he was cupping his ass, kneading roughly, needy.

If Jasper was trying to rile him up, his actions had the desired effect. At his touch, the way his body brushed up against his, Carlisle's hunger was stoked. He took more firm hold of Jasper's cock, stroking while his other hand drifted between his legs to cup his balls.

With his lips against his neck, Jasper's answering groan vibrated through Carlisle's whole body. They shifted again, and Jasper's hands wrapped around Carlisle's cock, making his body jolt.

Jasper kissed his way back up to Carlisle's lips, his eyes open but hazy.
Like this, their eyes and and hands on each other, they stroked together. Their lips were open, constantly brushing, their kisses open-mouthed as they panted. They were in tune with each other, bodies responding, legs tangling, in time.

Just before he came, Carlisle grunted the words he'd been unable to say before, hoping they meant as much even in the height of passion.

Hoping Jasper understood.

"I love you, too."

Jasper's answer was a loud, wordless cry as he jerked in Carlisle's hand, and they came together.

When Carlisle could open his eyes again, he could see Jasper was grinning even as he tried to catch his breath. The younger man leaned forward, kissing him soundly.

"Sleep?" Jasper asked when they'd cleaned up a bit. "It's still too fucking early."

Carlisle smiled. "Yeah."

They moved until Jasper's chest pressed against Carlisle's back, his arm slung low around his waist, his lips pressing occasionally to Carlisle's neck until they fell asleep.

~0~

"What's wrong with your neck?"

Trust Edward to notice.

Self-conscious, Carlisle rubbed his neck. Jasper had a healthy growth of stubble on his chin when he'd been kissing on him earlier that day. Apparently, Carlisle's skin was sensitive.

He cleared his throat, musing inwardly. It seemed like today was a day for difficult conversations.

Of course, when his last conversation ended, he had a boyfriend. He was still a little flabbergasted by that fact but not as intimidated as he could have been.

And his brother loved him, of that Carlisle had no doubt. As apprehensive as he was about letting Edward in on what had been going on these last months, he had to trust the world wasn't going to end.

Even if his psyche was screaming about danger ahead.

"I need to talk to you about something," he said finally.

Edward studied him. "Is this about why you had to turn our breakfast into a lunch?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

The corner of Carlisle's mouth turned up. "As a matter of fact..."

"Damn," Edward slammed his palm down on the table hard enough Carlisle jumped, staring at his brother in surprise and alarm. Edward laughed. "No. It's just, Bella bet me you were seeing someone. I told her she was insane." He cocked his head, looking at Carlisle. "You are, aren't you?"

Carlisle had to swallow hard to force down the lump in his throat enough that he could speak. "Yes."

Edward smiled gently, genuinely. "Good. That's a good thing."

"You think?"

"I really do." He looked serious for a moment. "You know, after Esme died, I worried you were going to retreat back to where you were before. You were lonely, Carlisle."

Carlisle nodded, unable to deny that. He didn't know how lonely he'd been before Esme came along and pointed it out to him. He'd been so starved for affection.

"You look guilty." Edward's tone held a hint of warning. "Don't go there. You know Esme wanted you to be happy. Maybe the timing is a little fast, but these things aren't something you could or should predict."

"The timing is a little fast," Carlisle repeated. "But..." This was very difficult. "Edward, what if the person I'm seeing is Jasper?"

His brother gave a little laugh. "Yeah, right." When Carlisle looked down at the table, Edward gasped. "You're kidding. I mean... Whoa."

Carlisle felt a little dizzy, his lungs suddenly too tight to breathe comfortably.

"No," Edward said quickly. "It's not... It's just... I mean... How?"

At that, Carlisle had to smile a little. Edward was normally such an eloquent man.

"The whole story is... complicated," he said slowly, raising his head.

"Well, obviously." Edward ruffled his hair. "We are talking about the same Jasper, right? The one who punched you and all that? Esme's son... Jasper."

"Yes."

Edward sat back in his seat. "Okay. Tell me."

Taking a deep breath, Carlisle told him most everything that had happened.

When he was done, both men were silent. Edward had his head turned toward outside. He appeared to be watching the traffic go by. Carlisle waited, trying to pretend he didn't want to squirm in anticipation of his brother's reaction.

"It makes a lot of sense," Edward said finally.

Carlisle huffed and then he laughed, completely shocked. "It makes sense?"

"Quite a lot when you really think about it." Edward folded his arms and leaned across the table, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I've gotten to know Jasper a lot better these last few months. He's not who I thought he was."

"No?"

"Not at all, and that's a good thing. It makes sense, now, the way he acted before. He was a hurt, jealous young kid." Edward tapped on the table, putting it all together in his head. "But I've seen him with Sammy and even with Bella. He's actually very in tune with other people - what they need, emotionally. He knows when to back off and when to push. I think that takes a very aware, intuitive person."

Edward looked up, smiling at Carlisle. "He's a lot like you, now that I think about it. Very comforting. Very compassionate. And that's what you need."

"How's that?"

Now it was Edward's turn to look down at the table. "I recognize how much I've leaned on you all my life," he began slowly. "You're always looking out for other people, Carlisle, but you've never had anyone look out for you. Esme did, and it was enlightening to me, the difference it made in you."

Carlisle had to smile though his heart ached for Esme.

"I think Jasper could be that for you. He has the capacity, and he has the maturity," Edward said. He grinned. "Not that you need it, but you definitely have my blessing."

Carlisle laughed. "That actually means a lot to me." He looked up. "And the age difference?"

Edward snorted. "What did I tell you when you married Esme?"

"It doesn't bother you if it doesn't bother me," Carlisle supplied.

"Exactly. Same goes."

A huge weight lifted from Carlisle's shoulders and he felt like he could breathe deep for the first time in a long time. "Thank you, Edward," he said again.

He was beginning to see a very bright future unravel in front of him.

A/N: One more chapter and then an epi and we are done with this story. WOW.

Thank you to jessypt, naeleny, and barburella for handholding. And twitter for cheering me on when I was DYING.

Next chapter WILL kill me... There will be... *gulp* SEX.