And now, back to our show.
C: In the meantime, I'll take comments from the audience. You there.
A yellow spiky haired man stands up. His sword is as tall as he is.
Yellow Spiky Haired Man: Hmm... Well, fire materia is pretty cheap... Why don't those two just equip some into their slots?
C: Interesting... you there. Blond monkey.
Blond Monkey: She doesn't have a horn sticking out of her head, and I can see her face. She's not a mage! Where's the pointy hat? I want Vivi back...
C: Shut up, Blond Monkey. (Looks at another audience member.) Oh geez... other blond guy... is that lederhosen?
Other Blond Guy (in high-pitched, whiny voice): I can cast hastaga so Rikku can steal 4 times a round! Clearly, Terra's sphere grid started in Lulu's area.
Other Blond Guy (in deep voice-over 'cause the subwoofer is on): Lulu was so hot. I only tagged along because of her. I couldn't wait for us to beat Sin so could I bang her into the deepest realms of pure ecstasy. Just thinking about undressing her is enough to make me goo in my pants. In fact, I'm thinking about it right now...
The entire audience stares at Other Blond Guy in disgust.
Other Blond Guy (Barry White voice-over): At that moment, I realized that... the voice-over made me sound sexy, but everyone knew that I was a jerk. Haste!
Other Blond Guy casts haste on himself and runs to the nearest bathroom.
C: I see...It seems that Locke and Edgar have finished whispering.
Edgar and Locke face Terra.
Edgar: Terra...... where on earth did you learn that?
Terra: .........(faces the Magitek Armor, speaks loudly) Sorry......I......um......
Locke: Look, I didn't mean to make such a big deal out of this.
Edgar: Me either......it's just that I've never actually SEEN magic before! Where did you...?
Terra (in a much lower voice, towards the Magitek Armor): ...really should have killed them and turned them in to get the reward money...
C: Whoa! Things are heating up! This situation could get worse... I'll take someone from the audience... you there. Black-haired guy wearing black leather coat and pants!
Guy: ...............Whatever.
C: That's the spirit! Locke, Edgar: Don't make a big deal about it!
Locke: Edgar, Terra can use magic, and we can't. That's the only difference between us. The fact is......we could use her help!
Terra realizes that she can't reveal her true nature yet, so she reverts to her cute and innocent act.
Terra: Thank you, Locke! Thank you, Edgar!
Audience cheers.
C: Yes! That was what we needed! Let's all thank Black-haired guy wearing black leather coat and pants for this!
Guy: .................Whatever.
Terra gives Locke and Edgar a wink. Audience hoots and hollers. Edgar and Locke blush and slowly slide offstage. And some emulators will even say that their heads cut off (it's true, try it!)
Terra: Stop swooning...!
Rider 1: Whatever. Let's just go kill them now.
Rider 2: But they reconciled! They understand that their differences are minute and meaningless!
Rider 1: Reconcile, Schmeconcile. We've been paid to kill them, and that's what I plan to do.
Rider 2: Over my dead body!
Rider 1: Oh, you want a piece of this?
Rider 1 and Rider 2 fight each other. The audience yells, "fight, fight, fight, fight!" As security officers try to push the Magitek Armors away from each other. Security officers are crushed and large portions of the audience are blown away by Tek Lasers.
Finally, the Armors are nothing more than scrap metal. Most of the audience has been reduced to scraps, too.
C: Hmm...Well, on the next C show: Black-haired guy wearing black leather coat and pants – what happened between discs 2 and 3? How could he fall so deeply in love with Rinoa in only 15 seconds?
Guy: ...............Whatever.
Kefka hops up and down, while shaking his fist at Square.
Kefka: Son of a submariner! They'll pay for this...
Guy: ...............Whatever.
C: In the meantime, I'll take comments from the audience. You there.
A yellow spiky haired man stands up. His sword is as tall as he is.
Yellow Spiky Haired Man: Hmm... Well, fire materia is pretty cheap... Why don't those two just equip some into their slots?
C: Interesting... you there. Blond monkey.
Blond Monkey: She doesn't have a horn sticking out of her head, and I can see her face. She's not a mage! Where's the pointy hat? I want Vivi back...
C: Shut up, Blond Monkey. (Looks at another audience member.) Oh geez... other blond guy... is that lederhosen?
Other Blond Guy (in high-pitched, whiny voice): I can cast hastaga so Rikku can steal 4 times a round! Clearly, Terra's sphere grid started in Lulu's area.
Other Blond Guy (in deep voice-over 'cause the subwoofer is on): Lulu was so hot. I only tagged along because of her. I couldn't wait for us to beat Sin so could I bang her into the deepest realms of pure ecstasy. Just thinking about undressing her is enough to make me goo in my pants. In fact, I'm thinking about it right now...
The entire audience stares at Other Blond Guy in disgust.
Other Blond Guy (Barry White voice-over): At that moment, I realized that... the voice-over made me sound sexy, but everyone knew that I was a jerk. Haste!
Other Blond Guy casts haste on himself and runs to the nearest bathroom.
C: I see...It seems that Locke and Edgar have finished whispering.
Edgar and Locke face Terra.
Edgar: Terra...... where on earth did you learn that?
Terra: .........(faces the Magitek Armor, speaks loudly) Sorry......I......um......
Locke: Look, I didn't mean to make such a big deal out of this.
Edgar: Me either......it's just that I've never actually SEEN magic before! Where did you...?
Terra (in a much lower voice, towards the Magitek Armor): ...really should have killed them and turned them in to get the reward money...
C: Whoa! Things are heating up! This situation could get worse... I'll take someone from the audience... you there. Black-haired guy wearing black leather coat and pants!
Guy: ...............Whatever.
C: That's the spirit! Locke, Edgar: Don't make a big deal about it!
Locke: Edgar, Terra can use magic, and we can't. That's the only difference between us. The fact is......we could use her help!
Terra realizes that she can't reveal her true nature yet, so she reverts to her cute and innocent act.
Terra: Thank you, Locke! Thank you, Edgar!
Audience cheers.
C: Yes! That was what we needed! Let's all thank Black-haired guy wearing black leather coat and pants for this!
Guy: .................Whatever.
Terra gives Locke and Edgar a wink. Audience hoots and hollers. Edgar and Locke blush and slowly slide offstage. And some emulators will even say that their heads cut off (it's true, try it!)
Terra: Stop swooning...!
Rider 1: Whatever. Let's just go kill them now.
Rider 2: But they reconciled! They understand that their differences are minute and meaningless!
Rider 1: Reconcile, Schmeconcile. We've been paid to kill them, and that's what I plan to do.
Rider 2: Over my dead body!
Rider 1: Oh, you want a piece of this?
Rider 1 and Rider 2 fight each other. The audience yells, "fight, fight, fight, fight!" As security officers try to push the Magitek Armors away from each other. Security officers are crushed and large portions of the audience are blown away by Tek Lasers.
Finally, the Armors are nothing more than scrap metal. Most of the audience has been reduced to scraps, too.
C: Hmm...Well, on the next C show: Black-haired guy wearing black leather coat and pants – what happened between discs 2 and 3? How could he fall so deeply in love with Rinoa in only 15 seconds?
Guy: ...............Whatever.
Kefka hops up and down, while shaking his fist at Square.
Kefka: Son of a submariner! They'll pay for this...
Guy: ...............Whatever.