It had started with a prank. Who would have known it would turn out like this?

Rufus stared at his brother. Lass eyes were wide, his body shaking. They all said that it would be a bad idea, but how could Rufus know that it would turn out like this? He just wanted to show the Assassin that no one played pranks on him without getting something back. And Rufus' prank consisted of him an everyone else pretending that Lass was not really there. This worked for a few hours, but right now Rufus was thinking that Lass would either attack him or run away. However, nothing happened for another five minutes.

Lass took a step towards his brother, shaking his head as if he was seeing things.

"No…" Lass whispered.

"Go away… you're not real…. They killed you."

Rufus frowned. What was that about? He flinched as Lass suddenly slammed his head into the wall. Then hit it with his fists.

"No! You can't! I won't let you!" Lass shouted, slamming his head into the wall over and over again until Rufus had enough. He put his gloved hand between Lass forehead and the wall, preventing the younger one to hurt himself even more. Blood was running down from a small wound, trickling over his cheeks and dripping to the ground.

"Stop that! What the hell are you doing?!" Rufus scolded.

Lass stared at the blood on the ground. It wasn't much but it seemed to frighten him. Suddenly he clutched his head and fell on his knees as he screamed so loud that it actually hurt Rufus' ears.

"Lass!" Rufus shouted, trying to get louder than the screaming.

A second later Rufus was pushed aside and Arme fell on her knees in front of the Assassin. She hugged him, whispered things Rufus couldn't understand and a moment later Lass body grew limp.

"I told you it was a bad idea you freaking idiot! I knew this was going to happen!" the mage yelled.

"And what in the name of Hell Bridge did just happen?"

Arme didn't answer right away. She stroked the white hair of the assassin, holding him close, whispering that everything was fine.

"H-he was like that when we freed him of Kaze'azes control… it took two weeks for him to understand that he was free of her control… he's having nightmares lately… said that he can sense her… yesterday he told me he's scared that she'll come back… this was just a fit of him battling his mind… He will go insane if we ever give him the thought of Kaze'aze's return, Rufus…"

Rufus shook his head in disbelief. Then he suddenly realized something. Back then… if he hadn't abandoned his brother… nothing of this would have happened…

"I-it's my fault…" Rufus whispered. He stared into space, recalling the scene in his head. His brother never knew… he had never told him.

"How?"

"…I was looking for him when he was still in the circus… and I left him alone, thinking he was weak… I betrayed my own brother…"

Arme sighed deeply.

"…But you have changed. You think differently of him now… You don't know all his doubts… You never sat there trying to calm him down when he just wouldn't stop crying… you never stayed awake days and nights to let him feel safe… We all have nightmares Rufus. But his are so realistic I can't even begin to understand them."

It was silent for a moment.

"On some days I don't want to know what Kaze'aze did to him… he plays it off with his cheery attitude… And you fell for his trick. I think it's because you lack the knowledge of other people's feelings." The mage muttered.

She was still stroking Lass' hair as she continued to talk.

"It's not only you who has suffered. We all did… My Mother left me on a doorstep. I was only lucky someone found me… Elesis lost her father to Kaze'aze… Jin thought he was the last silver knight until Asin appeared… Sieghart is immortal… that is a burden enough. Mari has almost no memories… Do I have to tell you more?"

Rufus shook his head. He knew there were people who lived through worse thngs than he did. But what difference did it make? His own problems still hurt.

"I'm not bothering you with my problems. Why are you telling me this?"

"Yes, you are bothering us with it. How are we supposed to trust someone that doesn't trust us? Lass would never harm you. I wouldn't, Lime wouldn't. Ronan, Lire, Elesis…. Everyone. Yet you still don't trust us. And lose your trust whenever something bad happens. This won't work for much longer…"

"You want me to leave…"

The hurt in his voice made Arme regret everything she just said.

"Rufus… We have no room for someone that isn't reliable when he has to be. You are delaying missions with your distrust. Making us think about every word we say to you… I don't know what happened to you in your past, but was it so bad that you can't trust people that like you? That actually care about you?"

"The person that made me believe he liked me left me to fuck a human and never returned." Rufus muttered.

"Someone found you as you where too small to live on your own. I was barely old enough to hold a gun when he left me. No one ever cared about what happened to me… thinking back I wonder how I survived all those years. I'm younger than the other demons… I'm about twenty human years old… Lass seems so much older most of the time. I tend to forget he's the younger one…"

"No one knows how old he really is… But I know he's younger than most of us… 14…. Maybe 15. It's true he doesn't look or act like it… but he's still a child."

Rufus sat down as he got the feeling that this conversation would be a lot longer.

"He spent most of his life captivated… first the circus… then Kaze'aze… he grew up in cages… in mind control. Rufus…. You have no idea how he looks like when he's getting the feeling that Kaze'aze will appear again… what you saw earlier was just a hint. It gets much worse…"

The demon frowned, looking down.

"He hurts himself to get rid of the dark thoughts. Sometimes it's like he's battling with another person. It's frightening. Frightening and disturbing. Ronan and I are the only ones that ever saw him like this… He's…. very, very slowly but constantly losing his mind… It gets harder for him to battle the thoughts off… these fits take longer to go away… and he still keeps his smile up and pretends that everything is fine… he's… he's so fragile sometimes…. Sometimes he yells at me. Begging me not to touch him… and it hurts so bad to see him like this. And there is… there is absolutely nothing I can do about it…"

Rufus turned his head away from the mage. He felt bad for pulling this prank on the assassin. Regretted that he ever thought Lass would be alright.

"…it hurts to see him slipping away bit by bit… He's nice… and funny… he loves to play pranks at everyone… He shouldn't be in the chase… he should be in a loving family that shows him how it is like to have a normal life."

"I'd love to give him a family… but… I haven't seen our father in years. I can't remember my mother. And I don't even know the name of his mother… and she abandoned him…"

"You abandoned him as well. But you came back."

"It was a coincidence…."

"But you stayed."

"Because he showed me that I am not useless…"

"And he isn't either…"