Hey, I'm back with a new chapter. One thing I'd like to say is: I love Australia so don't be offended by the kangaroo tail thing, its only to show how much Caden loves kangaroos lol.
Serena's eyes opened and she looked up to see a completely naked Dan, staring at her intensely, fingers rubbing his temples.
"Morning." She leaned forward to kiss him only to find him backing away from her, shaking his head.
"I can't..this was wrong. I...this isn't right. We shouldn't have done this." His voice cracked as he slid off the bed, quickly putting a robe on.
"Dan...what are you talking about?" Her green eyes were sad and confused. "I thought...I thought we did this because we love each other."
"I know. I know." He started pacing around, running his hands through his messy brown hair. "But you-you don't remember. This isn't right."
"Dan, I will remember. Why can't you just believe that?" By now, she had stood up, the sheet wrapped around her but not hiding any of her features.
"Because it hasn't happened!" He threw his hands up, frustrated. He looked down, his toe digging into the carpet. "I thought...I hoped that you would have remembered by the time we made love." He spoke softly, as he looked up, his brown eyes searching hers for any sign of recognition.
"Why don't you have any faith, Dan!?" She grasped his shoulders, dropping the sheet. She kissed him, softly, gently and passionately. "Can you not feel how much I love you?" She took his hand and placed it above her heart. "Can you not feel my heart when its beating for you? Everything I do, Dan. Every kiss. Every touch. Every breath. Its all for you."
He hung his head, eyes downcast. "I know." His voice cracked again, making him feel as if he were seventeen and having a fight with Serena again. "I feel all of that, but it just doesn't seem right. And I'm sorry."
Serena's body trembled as enormous tears fell from her eyes. "No, Serena. Don't cry, please don't cry." He attempted to pull her bare body close, but she pulled away, head shaking from side to side.
Her chest heaved up and down and sobs wracked her lithe form. "Get out." She ordered, her voice a whisper. "Get out."
"What?" He asked, confused by her statement. "Serena, I...no why are you doing this? I don't understand."
"Yes you do. Two words. Get out." Her voice barely escaped shaking as she watched him pull on his clothes.
He walked towards, now dressed in last night's party attire. "Please don't do this." He ran his arms up and down her arms. "We'll make it work." He offered weakly even though he knew there was no way of changing her mind.
She backed away from him, picking up the robe he had worn and putting it on. She was immediately engulfed in his scent. "I can't do that with the way you're thinking." Tears coursed down her pink cheeks, falling down onto the robe. "Please, leave."
Leaning down, Dan kissed her forehead, cheek, and then her lips. She remained unmoving as he kissed her, but she could do nothing about the blood coursing through the veins in her cheeks, making her blush. She could also do nothing about her increased heart rate, which she was sure he could feel. "This isn't over, I promise." He kissed her forehead another time before walking out of the room.
The moment he left the room and shut the door, Serena fell to the ground. Hugging her knees to her chest, she breathed in his smell. She hadn't wanted to do any of that, she honestly loved him. But being in love and believing that she was going to remember required two people. There was no way she could do it by herself.
--
Chuck walked towards the door, irritated at being woke up so early. He opened it to find none other than Dan Humphrey, eyes red and still in party attire.
"Humphrey...you look like hell." He commented, letting Dan in.
"Serena kicked me out." Dan replied sullenly.
"And I thought you were just here to pick up Caden after a night of sex." Chuck padded over to the kitchen and poured Dan a mug of coffee. "Here, you look like you need it."
Dan mumbled a quiet "Thanks." He set the mug down on the shiny black counter top. "Can I-?"
"Stay with Blair and I?" Chuck finished, pouring himself a cup of the hot bitter liquid. "Sure. But I don't want to hear any moaning about Serena...unless of course you're planning how to get her back. You want to tell me what happened?"
"Thanks...Chuck. I-we, you know, last night." Dan flushed a bright red. He had never imagined he'd be talking about this to Chuck Bass. "And we woke up. And she doesn't remember me."
"Wait, let me guess. Then you got on your moral high horse and talked about how it wasn't right that you slept with her before you remembered."
Dan's eyebrows rose. "Are you psychic or something?"
Chuck smirked. "Nope. Just smarter than you think I am."
The sound of bare feet running through the penthouse stopped their conversation. "Daddy!!" Caden cried, as he launched himself into Dan's arms. "Uncle Chuck said that you were supposed to be with momma all day!"
Dan shot Chuck a glare accompanied with a small smile. "Well mommy and I had a fight. So I'm not going to be home for a little bit, okay?"
Caden's adorable face grew confused. "But daddy, I thought momma and you made up and were all mushy again."
"We did, but we got into a fight, okay?" Dan hugged Caden closer. "I'm really sorry buddy. I know how excited you were for us to be a family again."
"I want to stay with you." Caden murmured, clutching his daddy closer. "I don't want to stay with momma."
Dan kissed the top of Caden's head. "No, don't say that. Your mommy is the best mommy there is, okay? She's really something, son. You don't even know. She makes everything better for daddy just like she does for you. She's the greatest thing that ever happened to me. And just because we got into a fight does not mean she doesn't love you with all her heart. Because she does."
"What about you, daddy? Does she love you?" Caden pulled back slightly to look Dan in the eyes. Green meeting Brown.
"I think so." Dan whispered, unable to look his son in the eyes. "I hope so. But until mommy and I make up, I'm staying here and you're going home."
"Okay." Caden agreed silently. "I really hope you and mommy stop fighting. Momma looked really happy when you kissed her and I don't want that to go away."
"Me neither." Caden and Dan remained in that embrace for a few seconds more before Dan let Caden go.
"Why don't you go get dressed and Uncle Chuck will make you breakfast." Chuck shot a glare, while snapping his phone shut. "I mean..I'll make you breakfast."
"Okay daddy!" Caden ran up the staircase and disappeared from sight.
"You are disgustingly mushy with him." Chuck drawled as he watched Dan pull out a skillet and set it on the stove.
"He's my son. I have to be." Dan cracked an egg in the now sizzling skillet.
Chuck only shook his head and walked upstairs to change.
--
It had been only an hour since Dan had left. Only a hour ago, she was on cloud nine. She had dressed, eaten and was now sitting in the kitchen, playing with her rings. They were the constant in all of this. From the moment she got in that accident to now, she hadn't taken them off. At least not willingly. Sighing, she looked around the house, only to realize two things. She missed Dan. And that she was completely, hopelessly in love with him and would never stop.
Her phone buzzed and she slid it open to see the text. You really need to see this.-C. Wondering if it was a disgusting porno video, she hit play and what she saw changed everything.
She watched as a picture of Dan came into view, looking like he had been crying, holding Caden. She watched silently, tears streaming down her face. She listened as Dan talked about her to Caden, telling him that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him and her heart felt like it was going to explode by the way it seemed to be shooting out of her chest.
She slid the phone shut, and closed her eyes. "I do." She repeated the words from the night of Caden's birthday, in a low whisper. "I do love you." But it was too late, she had ordered Dan to get out, and she had no idea where to move on from here.
Hearing a knock at the door, she stood up from the table and wiped the tears that had been falling slowly. She opened it to find Blair and Caden. "Hey, B." She muttered, letting the two in.
Blair allowed herself to let Serena close the door before enveloping her into a huge hug. "Dan told me what happened and Chuck told me he sent you a video. I'm so sorry, S."
"I made him leave Blair. I made my husband leave. Right after we made love for the first time in months. Right after I told him I loved him and knew I always had and always would. What was I thinking, B? Talk about mixed messages." Serena choked out, tears re-emerging, and suddenly she was grateful that Caden had a bunch of new toys that could distract him while she cried it all out.
"Serena, its all going to be okay. Trust me. Dan...he looked horrible when he was telling me what he said to you. He actually had me come over to see if you two still had a chance." The words were spoken softly, but they inflicted a great pain upon Serena.
"I love him, B. I love him so much that it hurts. I-I see what my not remembering has done to him and I can't stand that. But I...I just don't see how its going to work if he doesn't believe in me." Serena's tears had now reduced to quiet hiccups, wracking her body like the sobs earlier that morning.
"Cabbag-Dan is the impossibly good guy. I bet he just felt bad because he thinks you're this delicate angel and sleeping with you before you remembered didn't go with his conscience." By now Blair had led Serena to the champagne colored couch, her arm wrapped comfortingly around her best friend.
"Thank you, Blair. I just..thank you." Serena mumbled, her blonde head downcast. "Can you tell Dan that..that I love him and I miss him?" Her voice had grown quiet, and there was a trace of nervousness in it. An excited nervousness.
"You're kicking me out already?" Blair joked, standing up and giving Serena another hug. "I'll tell him, I promise."
At that, Serena felt the tiny arms she had got to know so well over the past few weeks wrap around her shaking leg. She looked down to see her picture-perfect son looking up at her, his lips in a frown and hurt in his eyes. Trying to feign a smile, she leaned over and picked Caden up, holding him so tight and placing a meaningful kiss on his temple.
"Momma...is daddy ever coming home?" He asked, stopping Blair in her tracks.
"I don't know sweetie." Serena replied, feeling the tears spring up yet again. Calming herself, she waved goodbye to Blair who kept casting nervous glances behind her shoulder.
"Daddy really misses you, mommy. He looked so sad this morning." Caden looked at Serena, his lips still in a frown.
"Darling, daddy's just having a time out, okay? He'll be back before you know it. Now let's go watch a movie."
Caden nodded in agreement as Serena carried him over to the television. "Why don't you find a nice movie that we can watch?"
He obediently nodded, his blonde head ducked down, looking for a movie. "Found one!" He held it out proudly and watched as she put the disc into the DVD player.
They settled back onto the couch and sat in silence as the DVD player whirred. "Momma, can we go see the Ice Capades? Auntie Blair was talking about them in the car. She says daddy likes them."
"And I think he'd basically go anywhere with you. Except maybe the Ice Capades, cause that really freaked him out when he was five."
A voice flashed in her head as Caden looked up at her expectantly. "We'll ask daddy next time we see him okay?"
"Hey, um, I hear the Ice Capades are in town." Serena smiled at him, buzzed from the kiss they just shared.
"Oh. If you're there, then so am I." He smiled before kissing her again.
"Is something wrong, momma?" Caden asked, noticing her being lost in space.
"No, of course not. I just think I remember something. Something about daddy."
Caden's face lit up as he hurriedly pressed 'Pause' on the remote control. "You have to tell daddy, momma! You have to!!"
Serena shook her head. "No, no no. Its okay, sweetie."
"Momma, before, when you weren't really my momma as much as you are now, daddy and I talked and he told me how much he wanted you to remember and how he couldn't wait for you to remember so we can be a family again. He said that he'd die if you didn't remember and I don't want daddy to die, so we have to tell him!!!"
Serena could help but let her heart melt at that statement. "Okay, okay." She said, half laughing, half crying. "Okay baby, lets go. But momma's gotta have a shower first okay? She looks like a mess."
"You look fine, momma." Caden replied, smiling earnestly at her.
Serena rolled her eyes. "Stay here and watch the movie okay? I'll be right back."
As she turned the hot water on, steaming the bathroom mirror, she couldn't help but relax and give into another well awaited memory.
A loud baby's cry erupted in the otherwise silent air.
"Dan" Serena moaned, head buried in her pillow, trying to get at least a few hours of sleep. "Baby."
"Huh?" Dan blinked his brown eyes open. "Wha? Your turn."
"Go or no sex." Serena yawned.
"Serena." Dan groaned back, trying to poke her up. "Caden wants his mommy."
"Daan." Serena slapped a hand on his bare chest. "I'm serious about the no sex thing this time."
"Hmph." Dan grunted as he pushed himself out of bed, heading for Caden's room. "Next time he cries, I'll go with no sex."
"Love you too sweetheart!" Serena called sleepily, smiling as she entangled herself in the sheets breathing in his smell.
--
Serena walked back into the living room, freshly showered and dressed. "Caden?"
She walked to the living room where the movie was still playing, but no little boy in sight. Serena started to panic and looked outside, praying that he was there.
"Momma!!" She turned abruptly at the voice and saw Caden tugging Dan, who was still dressed in ball attire, along. "Look I told you! Daddy's happy!!"
Dan let go of Caden's hand and stops in front of Serena. "Hey."
"Hi." Her voice came out timid and quiet.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too. Heaps."
"Caden told me t-that you remembered more. He said it was something about the Ice Capades. Hope sparkled in his eyes as he searched her face, looking for any sign of remembrance.
"Yeah. You said that if I was there, so were you. And then I-I remembered something else. It was a night that Caden woke up crying and we were arguing and you were just so sweet and I'm rambling."
A smile made its way across his face and he lifted her up, kissing her all over her face and neck. "I'm sorry, I should have believed in you." He muttered, kissing her again. "I'm so proud of you. I love you."
Her heart swelled at those three words as he put her down. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, hands grabbing fistfuls of his hair. "I love you too." She gasped, hugging him tightly.
"Daddy! You got momma to stop crying!" Caden's voice peeped up as Dan pulled back from Serena to look at her face.
"I sure did." Dan muttered, wiping the remaining tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "You shouldn't have been crying over me."
"But you have to stop kissing her or else you'll make another baby!" Caden had somehow appeared between the two, pushing them apart.
"Okay, okay. We'll stop kissing." Dan laughed as he hoisted Caden up on his shoulders. "Let's go watch that video you wanted mommy to see.
--
"Momma...can I have a little sister for Christmas?" Caden asked, digging his spoon into the quart of ice cream that Serena held between her legs.
Serena blushed and looked at Dan, who was putting the disc that Caden had wanted to watch in and had not heard. "Well, um. You'll have to ask daddy, sweetie."
"What about daddy?" Dan asked, coming back and sitting down on Serena's other side.
"Daddy! Can I have a baby sister for Christmas? Please?" Caden begged, his puppy dog eyes slowly drawing Dan in. "Please!?"
"Um, mommy and I will think about it, okay? But for now, lets just watch the video." Dan raised an eyebrow at Serena and mouthed 'Ask daddy?'
She smiled innocently, holding a spoon laden with chocolate ice cream to his lips. He rolled his eyes, swallowing the ice cream. A sound flickered from the TV and he turned his attention over to it. Serena followed his gaze, snuggling into his side as he put his arm around her shoulders. She looked over at Caden briefly, watching the rapt attention he was giving to the film. Was this going to be a Disney movie?
She watched as a sketchy image of Caden entered her view along with herself.
"Dan! What are you doing?!" Serena giggled as the camera panned up her body.
"Filming you and Caden?" Came a playfully confused reply from behind the camera.
"I look horrible right now." Serena protested feebly.
"Fine." Dan laughed, turning the camera to Caden. "Say hi, buddy!"
A little boy about 4 years old with blonde hair stood up and waved at the camera. "Hi daddy. Whatcha filming?"
Serena pulled Caden into her side, hair playing with his blonde hair. Dan noticed the shift in her weight and leaned over to kiss Caden on the top of his head, before touching his lips with Serena's.
"I'm filming our Christmas, son. So we can show this to grandpa because he's away this year, remember?"
"He's in, uh, the place with the kangaroos right? The bouncy kangaroos?" Caden asked, eyes flicking from Serena to Dan.
"Yup, that's Australia son. He sent you a present over." Dan held up a wrapped present to the camera. "Its probably something like kangaroo tail or something equally bizarre. After all, it is Australia." Dan muttered under his breath.
"Australians aren't bizarre." The camera flashed to Serena rolling her eyes. "I love it there."
"I know." Dan laughed. "Just wanted to give my dad some grief when he sees this."
"Momma, daddy can I open my presents?" Caden sat, legs crossed, the multi colored kangaroos on his pajamas sticking out. "Please? Uncle Chuck said that good boys get presents and I've been really really good!"
"Okay, but you have to open grandpa's first otherwise he'll get cranky." Serena flashed an innocent smile at the camera. She handed Caden the wrapped present that Dan had set down and watched as he ripped it open excitedly.
"What's this?" He held up a V shaped toy .
"Oh wow, Caden. That's a boomerang sweetie. And look what's on it! Kangaroos like you love, koalas, echidnas, and emus!" Serena pointed to each of the animals in turn.
"Wow Caden, your mother is quite the Australian animal expert." For the first time, Dan came into view and kissed Serena's cheek.
"But what does it do, momma?" Caden asked, passing it from hand to hand.
"Well honey, its like a Frisbee, sort of. But when you throw it, it always comes back to you, neat huh?"
"Yeah! Its totally cool!"
"Momma?" Caden sat up and looked at his parents, who quickly pressed the pause button.
"Yes sweetie, did you want to watch another video or something?" Serena reached out to pat Caden's head.
"No, I like this one. But do you know what, daddy?"
"What is it, buddy?"
Caden fidgeted with his hands as he spoke. "Momma's like a boomerang." Dan and Serena both chuckled a little bit as Serena put the ice cream on the floor in front of them and pulled Caden onto her lap. "Because when the accident made her go away, she came right back to us when she was ready!"
Serena felt tears well up in her eyes as she let Dan link and squeeze her hand in his. "That's right baby. But momma's not going anywhere anymore, okay?"
"That's good." Caden sighed, laying down in Serena's lap. "Oh and you know what, Daddy's like a boomerang too because when he went away, he didn't leave for long either. He came back when you remembered something, momma."
"Yeah, that's right son. Good boy." Serena pressed 'play' on the small remote and Caden's attention turned to the screen.
Dan turned to Serena and looked deeply into her glassy eyes.
"I love you." She mouthed.
"Don't ever let me leave you again." He whispered into her ear before kissing her lightly on her cheek.
"I won't. I couldn't. You mean too much to me." She whispered back, before turning her attention to the little boy stationed on her lap and the television.
The screen had changed to a part of an earlier period. Dan was holding Caden, an unsure expression on his face.
"Serena, what if I drop him?" Dan asked, eyes darting to Caden and the camera. Serena's airy laugh filled the surroundings, the camera zooming in on Caden.
"You won't." She reassured him. "Now smile."
Dan let an obvious fake smile make its way on his face before bursting into laughter. Caden cooed happily at his daddy, his hands reaching out for Serena. "Someone wants their mommy." Dan said, look directly into the camera.
The camera was set down and Serena appeared to take Caden from Dan. "Who's such a cute baby? You are, Caden."
Dan wrapped an arm around Serena's shoulders and kissed her, forgetting about the camera. "I love you."
"I love you too."