(A/N- my God...Millerna's being nice. This has to stop, I'm ruining her! Oh
well, she's got a split personality. Yeah, yeah that's a good excuse! Split
personality, like Pink's song! And Asarhia: Hyrule probably doesn't have
coffee, but since I'm a caffeine addict, I took some creative liberties ^_^
And Deku Scrub: not only guys have dreams like that, you know....)
Needless to say, my new outfit was much more comfortable than those damn dresses. I could move, I could breathe! Life was good!
"Ah, finally, something that doesn't squeeze my hips, cinch my waist, and push up my tits!" I said happily as Pretty Boy and I made our way into the city. "I'm free!"
"Millerna, do you have to discuss this with me?" he asked, looking uncomfortable.
"What? I can't help it if I'm honest," I said indignantly, as once again the townspeople emerged from their houses, to bid farewell to their hero (their reluctant hero. I felt bad for him, just a little, though. I'm not going soft, or anything. No way). This time, however, I seemed to be getting much more attention. Especially from the men. There was a lot of whistling.
"Goddesses, do they have to do that?" Link grumbled. "Don't do anything you'll regret, Millerna," he added, noticing my expression. I gritted my teeth.
"Stupid peasant folk," I reminded myself, "stupid peasant folk, stupid peasant folk, stupid peasant-"
"I'd love to get her out of those men's clothes and into my bed," some jerk said. I froze. Link gave me a worried look.
"Millerna-!" Too late. I had jumped off Ebony.
"Alright, boys," I said in the low, silky voice I only heard myself use when I was utterly pissed off. "Who wants to confess to that last remark?" The guy stepped forward with a cocky smirk.
"Millerna, I told you not to do anything you'd regret," Link warned.
"I won't regret this, Pretty Boy," I said, sizing up my enemy. He was only a few inches taller than me, heavily muscled. I gave him my sweetest smile. "This I will thoroughly enjoy." Seconds later my fist connected with Asshole's face. Blood now ran freely from his smashed nose. There was a pleasing look of horror on his face. I kicked him in the balls for good measure, gave the rest of the frightened crowd my girliest smile, and climbed back onto Ebony.
"Now we can go," I said happily. I turned back to my bloodied and very pained new friend. "Learn some respect, you sleazy son of a bitch," I advised. There was a hint of a smile on Link's face.
"That was incredibly nasty of you, Millerna," he said. "Nice work."
***
"So, what's the first stop on my tour of Zelda-land?" I asked.
"I'm taking you to meet the tribe of Gorons who live up there," he said, nodding toward a huge mountain. "I'm under the distinct impression that Darunia is going to like you a lot."
"Darunia..." I prompted. "Any important information?"
"He's the head of the tribe, the Sage of Fire, too, by the way. He calls me his 'Sworn Brother' - it's an honor for their race."
"Why are you so special to the Gorons?"
"I...took care of a lizard problem for them," he said. "Two lizard problems, actually. They appreciated the effort. Darunia went as far as naming his son after me." I smirked.
"So now I'll have to deal with Link *and* Goron Link. Splendid."
(A/N- once more, I apologize for chapter shortness, but the next chapter will be longer. Just to warn you, there won't be updates for a few days, because I'm going to North Carolina with my family. At least I'll get to drive my gandfather's ATV ^_^! )
Needless to say, my new outfit was much more comfortable than those damn dresses. I could move, I could breathe! Life was good!
"Ah, finally, something that doesn't squeeze my hips, cinch my waist, and push up my tits!" I said happily as Pretty Boy and I made our way into the city. "I'm free!"
"Millerna, do you have to discuss this with me?" he asked, looking uncomfortable.
"What? I can't help it if I'm honest," I said indignantly, as once again the townspeople emerged from their houses, to bid farewell to their hero (their reluctant hero. I felt bad for him, just a little, though. I'm not going soft, or anything. No way). This time, however, I seemed to be getting much more attention. Especially from the men. There was a lot of whistling.
"Goddesses, do they have to do that?" Link grumbled. "Don't do anything you'll regret, Millerna," he added, noticing my expression. I gritted my teeth.
"Stupid peasant folk," I reminded myself, "stupid peasant folk, stupid peasant folk, stupid peasant-"
"I'd love to get her out of those men's clothes and into my bed," some jerk said. I froze. Link gave me a worried look.
"Millerna-!" Too late. I had jumped off Ebony.
"Alright, boys," I said in the low, silky voice I only heard myself use when I was utterly pissed off. "Who wants to confess to that last remark?" The guy stepped forward with a cocky smirk.
"Millerna, I told you not to do anything you'd regret," Link warned.
"I won't regret this, Pretty Boy," I said, sizing up my enemy. He was only a few inches taller than me, heavily muscled. I gave him my sweetest smile. "This I will thoroughly enjoy." Seconds later my fist connected with Asshole's face. Blood now ran freely from his smashed nose. There was a pleasing look of horror on his face. I kicked him in the balls for good measure, gave the rest of the frightened crowd my girliest smile, and climbed back onto Ebony.
"Now we can go," I said happily. I turned back to my bloodied and very pained new friend. "Learn some respect, you sleazy son of a bitch," I advised. There was a hint of a smile on Link's face.
"That was incredibly nasty of you, Millerna," he said. "Nice work."
***
"So, what's the first stop on my tour of Zelda-land?" I asked.
"I'm taking you to meet the tribe of Gorons who live up there," he said, nodding toward a huge mountain. "I'm under the distinct impression that Darunia is going to like you a lot."
"Darunia..." I prompted. "Any important information?"
"He's the head of the tribe, the Sage of Fire, too, by the way. He calls me his 'Sworn Brother' - it's an honor for their race."
"Why are you so special to the Gorons?"
"I...took care of a lizard problem for them," he said. "Two lizard problems, actually. They appreciated the effort. Darunia went as far as naming his son after me." I smirked.
"So now I'll have to deal with Link *and* Goron Link. Splendid."
(A/N- once more, I apologize for chapter shortness, but the next chapter will be longer. Just to warn you, there won't be updates for a few days, because I'm going to North Carolina with my family. At least I'll get to drive my gandfather's ATV ^_^! )