Chapter Twelve

The night bustled with the music and chatter of the festival around her, though she found herself feeling silly and self-conscious standing in the middle of the walk way in her festival kimono. People bumped into her as they passed her by and a frown tugged down at her lips. Her Kimono was an ocean blue color that complimented her light skin and dark hair so well it would have made any man proud to be standing next to her.

No one stood next to her however, with her colorful dango in hand. She couldn't even find a friend to have gone with her. That wasn't something she wanted to stop her though and she had decided to go regardless in a streak of bold determination. But what she found now was that most of the festival activities were meant for two and she felt pitiful.

She made her way to the outskirts of the walk way and took a seat with a dejected sigh. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe she should just go home. To where? An empty house? A night of lone terrors? She took a bite off her Dango and chewed slowly, feeling repulsed by the idea of eating with the unease that sat in her stomach. She had bought it with Shikamaru's money though and wasn't about to let it go to waste.

An hour and a half had already passed and she hadn't come across a single soul she knew. The pink tone of the sunset was just starting to disappear as she watched the people dance cheerfully to festive music.

She almost jumped out of her skin when a man beside her spoke. She had been so wrapped up in the commotion around her she hadn't even noticed she was sharing the bench with anyone. She would have made an awful ninja.

"Curious, isn't it?"

Jezebel looked at him perplexed.

"Curious?"

"How much of this festival is centered around having someone to go with. Yet here we are."

"Are you implying I'm alone here?"

"Did you come with someone?"

Jezebel hesitated, her cheeks burning and her jaw set, unsure what he was getting at but she wasn't sure that she was very fond of it.

"…No." She finally admitted, her heart clenched. Shikamaru was supposed to be there.

They sat in silence for a moment and she searched his face for a clue as to who he was or what he was getting at but could only find a small, what she assumed to be, smirk. She might have thought him blind for his pale eyes if he hadn't of turned his eyes to meet hers.

"God forbid they have any activity that doesn't center around another person."

She knew what he meant but she found herself scanning the area for a solution to his problem anyway. Her eyes landed on the one lone, old women dancing her heart out on the out skirts of the dance area, following the rhythm of the music with a bottle of sake in her hand.

"She's alone, but she looks like she's having fun."

He chuckled.

"Do you want to dance alone, then?"

"Oh, no not particularly." She found her lips tugged up into a small smile for the first time that night.

"Good. You'd like to dance then?"

He held his hand out to hers and she gaped at him, taking his hand before she was able to make sense of what was going on. He pulled her out onto the dance area, following a set of precise steps she wasn't quite sure of. She found herself watching his feet to keep up.

"You don't seem too familiar with this type of dance."

"I've never been to a festival before." She blurted out before she could stop herself, her face flushing red. "I've never really danced much before."

She thought back to the long nights in the hospital when no one else was around, where she had attempted to follow what appeared to be a simple waltz on TV. It was always a lot harder than it looked but she had always longed to do it regardless.

"Look at me, don't worry about your feet."

Resisting the urge to keep her eyes on her feet she looked up at him, face still flushed with red. After a few moments however, she found her footing as he lead her in rhythmic circles.

"I don't think I caught your name."

"Oh, I never offered it, I don't believe."

He waited for her to give her name before figuring she needed a bit of a nudge. She seemed so flustered and feeling the pulse in her finger tips he thought her heart might beat out of her chest.

"My name is Neji."

"Oh, Jezebel. Mine is Jezebel."

Neither of them spoke for a moment as the band transitioned into another song.

"This is your first festival, and you decided to go alone?"

"Well," She gave a small frown. "I wouldn't have come alone if I had the choice."

"We always have a choice; you could have not come."

"I didn't want to miss the experience…" She said quietly.

"So then, you chose to make the best of what you were dealt."

She looked up at him with a smile. It wasn't a question as much as an observation.

"That's a good way to see it."

"Life hands you certain cards, but it's the actions you take the determines your ultimate happiness."

As the music came to an end he took a step back and gave a small bow to her.

"It's been nice to meet you. I hope to see you again soon."

"Thank you…You as well."

She watched as he walked off into the crowds with a pang of loneliness, her only company for the day. Making the best of what life hands you… She shook her head. Isn't that what she's always done? Made the best of Shiro…Now this? Making the best of an empty home and friends who only skirt the edge of her life?

Her jaw set, her mind running away from her, tears welling up. She wasn't sure that she didn't feel just as alone with Shikamaru as she did with Shiro. At least she knew what to expect with Shiro. There was no hope of affection and company, she didn't know any different. But this? The constant anticipation of a loving presence and the constant disappointment that followed. It was almost worse.

She hurried home, pulling the clip from her hair only to toss it to the ground. It was just hitting midnight by time she pulled the blankets up to her chin and with her head snug in her pillow. She turned her back on the empty spot beside her, tears running down her face.

If these were the cards life was handing her, then she wasn't just going to sit and do nothing about it. Tomorrow, she determined, she would approach Tsunade for a job at the hospital.

Tsunade sat at her desk browsing over a stack of papers when a rap came at her door. She looked up just as Shizune was poking her head in.

"Ms. Tsunade, you have a visitor."

Tsunade glanced at the clock on the wall with her eyebrows furrowed.

"What do you mean? I don't have anything scheduled for another full hour."

"Well it's a bit of a drop by. She understands if you're too busy to meet at the moment."

Tsunade let out an exasperated sigh, placing her fingers to her forehead and closing her eyes.

"Whoever it is, send her in and make it quick."

Tsunade's eyebrows rose a bit and she laid her papers back down as she saw Jezebel come into the office. While Shikamaru was a frequent presence around Tsunade it had been months since she had last come in contact with Jezebel. She suspected the last full conversation they had was when Shikamaru had argued the girl's way into the village. How bold of her to show up without an appointment.

"Jezebel, you were certainly the last person I expected to show up unannounced."

Jezebel gave a small bow, her hands tightly clasped in front of her. Timid as usual. If you were to look close enough you could see her knees shake.

"I apologize for such short notice, Hokage, but I wanted to speak to you about having a position at the hospital. I know Shikamaru has already spoken to you, but it has been some time." She avoided eye contact, her voice wavering. She swallowed hard, waiting for the Hokage's reply.

Tsunade took a moment to sit in thought, her chin rested on her hand. Shikamaru had spoken to her about it around the time Jezebel had first been introduced into the village, but at the time her simple presence had already been a long haul.

"Ms. Jezebel, please tell me why, after allowing you refuge in my village at the possibility of having some of my best, highly skilled Jonin tied to the death of a very important, highly skilled doctor, I should allow you to work in my hospitals?" Her voice was challenging, but not an attack. "What could you offer me that is worth my time?"

Jezebel raised her head to meet Tsunade's gaze. Her knees might have shaken but her eyes were steady.

"I am a highly skilled nurse and one who has worked under such a skilled doctor for many years. As you know, most of my life." She took a deep breath but refused to look away from Tsunade. She spoke quietly but steadily. She had practiced this speech what seemed like a thousand times this morning, she just prayed her memory wouldn't fail her yet.

"Your hospital is understaffed. Sakura, she works more basic shifts than she should as a medical-nin. Her time and energy could be better used to train for missions where she is needed."

"My experience makes me valuable." She said quietly. "When staff is overworked, it's not only your employees that suffer, it's your patients, it's your village."

"I'm endlessly grateful, Hokage, for being able to stay with Shikamaru in your village and I understand the risks that come with my presence…But it's not just for my sake I ask for this position. Shikamaru, he would be relieved to see me work and to be part of the village. I know it would make him very happy, and happy employees do their best."

With each moment that ticked by Jezebel felt her heart beat harder. The two women stared at each other for what felt like an eternity and Jezebel was almost certain she would receive a no. But at least she had tried.

Tsunade sat up straighter and fixed the papers at her desk, tapping them straight up to align them all. She looked at Jezebel with a small smile upturning her lips, she knew coming here today wasn't easy for the girl.

"You've obviously given a decent amount of thought to this. Though you've definitely made a pretty gutsy move here." Tsunade folded her arms on the desk in front of her and watched Jezebel turn her eyes down to her feet, preparing herself for rejection. "I like guts."

Jezebel jerked her eyes back up to meet Tsunade's.

"Talk to Shizune in the front, she'll get you set up. I'm sure Sakura wouldn't mind teaching you the ropes of the place either."

Jezebel blinked, thoroughly confused, her mouth gaping. What did she mean? Tsunade was just signing something when she looked back up at Jezebel.

"Well? Are you going to just stand there? You've got a job to do! Get out of her!"

"Oh! Y-yes m'am! Thank you so much!" She bowed so quickly and so deeply she almost fell forward before stumbling out into the hall and shutting the door behind her in a daze. Did…Did that really just work? She thought she had been crazy to go straight to Tsunade, but did that really just work?

Had she ever tried anything of the sort with Shiro, she might have lost an arm.