Written for rinskiroo and an anonymous prompter for: "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."
It was possible it had started from the first moment he saw her, cape billowing behind her as she strode into the room like she owned it. Or when he'd spied her on the flickering holofeed as she tore through enemy forces on Korriban like a whirlwind, only stopping long enough to help a group of slaves find freedom. Or even the way she stared down Darok and demanded answers to the same questions that Theron had been asking himself. But the word had never really been a part of his vocabulary, and he'd been more focused on the more obvious mystery in front of him at the time.
If not before then, it had definitely started when Theron heard her storming the Revanite base, his sliced comm channel broadcasting her threat to tear it apart until he was found. The weird feeling bubbling up from his gut and settling in his chest had been easier to blame on his broken ribs and the injuries he'd sustained during his interrogation.
He still didn't have the word for it, but the electricity that ran through him when he kissed her for the first time was unlike anything he'd felt before. There was something different about her, and that was as terrifying as it was exhilarating. And Theron had yet to find a thrill he wasn't willing to chase to its very end.
That end hadn't been found on Yavin, in fact sharing her bed had only fueled the thrill further. Nor had it been found on Ziost, trying to stave off the world of the possessed. Not even her supposed death seemed to end it, as he just found himself falling deeper and deeper into this thing they had. He tried to forget, tried to down it out but it just came back with a vengeance. Seeing her five years later on Odessen, the way her face lit up from across the landing platform when she laid her eyes on him, he'd known then it would never really go away, and let himself get swept along.
And as he was swept along, on Star Fortress after Star Fortress, mission after mission, that feeling, that word started to take shape. Until it smacked him right between the eyes one day as he paced the length of the War Room again and again after she went missing on him, lost in the wilds of Odessen with that damned ghost in her head as her only company. When she finally dragged herself back, bruised but alive, his voice failed him.
It continued to fail him when he took a few precious moments to follow her back to her quarters, and crush her to his chest as if somehow that would stem the rush of emotions threatening to pull him under.
"Theron, what's wrong?"
That word, the one that had been chasing him for over five years, ever since Carrick Station, finally appeared. And it was so damn obvious he wondered why he hadn't seen it before.
I think I'm in love with you. Was what he had meant to say, but he couldn't get his mouth to work. Instead he just pulled her in tighter, as if she might disappear again if he loosened his grip for even a moment. And I'm terrified.