So, I thought of an interesting angle for this chapter. It jumps forward a bit, like I said it would...but instead of a date, this chapter focuses on the therapy sessions! It's not all evil, but not fluff, either. Hope you all enjoy it and feel inclined to review LOL.
"All things considered, our relationship is going great," Hunter told their therapist with an excited voice, but a reluctant smile. He was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince her.
Dr. Natalie Hargrove wasn't fooled. She nodded her head, making her wavy, jet-black hair move across her shoulders and chest. Her piercing gray eyes slightly narrowed at Hunter but the left side of her mouth turned up in a smile, revealing her one dimple. "Have they really?" She asked.
Hunter and Stephanie had been coming to her for nearly a month now. She saw Hunter three times a week. The primary reason for that was because he had a lot of free time in his schedule, since he was taking some time off from work and had the most issues to work out. The other reason was that they had insisted on a somewhat more intensive program, since they were expecting a child. Given those circumstances and their dedication to making things better, she had agreed to their ideas.
During the first session of the week he would come in and consult with her by himself. The main focus was helping him battle the demons of his upbringing and the effects they'd had on him as an adult. During the second session she would see him for half an hour and then see Stephanie for the other half. The split session was more for tackling the issues that arose in the marriage and was set up so that Stephanie's concerns and issues were taken into account as well. During the third session, she counseled them as a couple. It allowed her to give them feedback, tips and activities that would help their relationship.
Dr. Hargrove watched Hunter carefully as he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The biggest hurdle for him was being open about his feelings. It was always a task to get him to drop his guard and be completely honest. In the case of his marriage, he seemed to think that he was somehow betraying his wife by being candid about the way things were going. "This is a safe space, Hunter," she reminded him, in encouragement. "Everything you two reveal individually and separately can only help you in the end."
"I know," he admitted. "I just feel like, I don't know." He rubbed his hand over his face wearily. "Like I don't have a right to feel the way I am now."
Though she could easily infer what he was feeling, from prior sessions, it was pointless if he couldn't say it out loud. He needed to be the one to verbalize his thoughts. She was only here to suggest and to guide – not to tell him exactly how he felt. "What way would that be?"
"Impatient?" He suggested, with a shrug. "Restless? Anxious?" He chewed on his bottom lip before he admitted quietly. "A little hopeless."
Natalie scribbled on her legal pad as he spoke, her eyes never leaving his face. It was as important to jot down what he did say, as it was to pick up on the clues his body language gave. "Why is that?" She prodded.
"I feel like Steph won't really let me in. Like, she's got one foot out of the door and is just waiting for me to mess up. And when I do she'll be prepared to just slam the door in my face."
Dr. Hargrove scribbled quickly and tried to suppress her smile. For one thing, her intuition was never off. The second thing was that Hunter had opened up more than she had expected him to. This was definite progress. "Go on," she instructed.
"I feel like she's not really giving our marriage another shot. I mean, right now we only have a marriage legally. We're...we're dating," he shook his head and sighed again.
"I understand your feelings, Hunter. And it may seem that way. But, you have to realize that she was the one who got hurt the most in your relationship. It's natural for her to be a little cautious while you try to work out the issues from your past."
Hunter nodded. He got that and it wasn't totally the problem. He decided to finally voice his concerns out loud. "But will that ever stop?" He asked, seriously. "Will she ever stop being cautious? And what if she thinks I'll never get over my past? Does that mean she'll never be ready to be a real married couple?"
The doctor sighed and took off her glasses. "No one can say for sure. You just have to keep showing her that you're committed to confronting your issues and to repairing the relationship. You're currently working on learning to trust her," she offered.
Again, Hunter nodded.
"She has to do the same. She has to learn to trust and believe that you won't hurt her that way again. You've both got some problems to work through. That's what we're doing here and that's why the program is designed as it is."
"So I should be patient?"
In contemplation, Dr. Hargrove briefly bit her lip. "Yes and no. Both of your needs have to be met somehow. But, you can't force her to be ready. Nor should you let your own feelings fester to the point where you resent her or give up trying."
He extended his long legs in a stretch before standing up. Their thirty minutes had come and gone and now it was Stephanie's turn. He thanked Natalie and confirmed their appointment for Friday, before heading out. He pulled out his debit card and handed it over to the secretary perched outside, to pay for the appointment. The machine buzzed efficiently while it spat out a receipt. He poked his tongue out of the side of his mouth, while he scribbled his name, before handing it over to the barely-twenties, blonde-haired girl that was manning the desk.
With a heavy sigh he pushed open the door to the waiting area. A smile lit up his face as he saw Stephanie perched in one of the plush, comfortable chairs, concentrating on a baby names book. "We could keep it simple, you know," he told her as he walked over. She smiled and stood up to greet him. "Just call it 'kid' or 'child' or something."
"Hunter," she chastised, smacking him lightly on the bicep with her purse. "We are not calling our baby that."
He lifted his hands in his defense. "Okay that's not unique enough. What about 'boy' or 'girl' depending on the gender of the baby?"
She laughed and shook her head. He was a mess. She leaned up and pecked him on the lips. "Get out of here," she commanded, smirking at his retreating form.
Stephanie greeted the secretary, allowing the younger woman to lead her to the doctor's office.
"Hello, Stephanie," the pretty therapist greeted.
"How are you, Dr. Hargrove?"
The older woman waved her hands in disapproval. "Call me Natalie."
A blush stained Stephanie's cheeks, She kept forgetting that. It was just that with the other therapists they had tried and rejected, the setting of the meetings was so formal. Dr. Hargrove kept things lighter and more conversational. Like you were talking to your best friend who just happened to have a counseling license.
The women exchanged their pleasantries as Stephanie took a seat on the couch, before giving a summary of what had been going on for the past few days. Natalie listened intently, though she had already heard a version – Hunter's version – just a few minutes prior. It was always interesting to hear the same story from a different perspective. It was also very helpful to see how each of them interpreted what had occurred. This allowed her to form a clearer picture of the events and figure out how to guide them, when they arrived for their couples session.
She peeked up at Stephanie from above the rim of her glasses. "And why are you so sure that that's the best way to approach things?" She quizzed the brunette.
Stephanie drew her eyebrows together in confusion. She shrugged and suddenly lost her reasoning for moving at a snail's pace with Hunter. Natalie had asked a damn good question. Her husband hadn't asked her why, he had just gone along with it. At the time she had made the suggestion, he probably would have gone along with anything. That was how she got him to therapy in the first place. God knows he wouldn't have started on his own. She began, unsurely, "We were apart for three months. And with everything that came out, it seemed right to...to." She trailed off and rubbed her forehead. What the hell was she doing? What was she having them do?
"Start from the very beginning?"
A loud snap was heard when Stephanie moved her fingers together to create the noise. "That's it!" She exclaimed, happy that someone got her method of thinking. The fact that it was someone who specialized in problems like theirs made it even better.
Natalie laughed at the younger, pregnant woman's enthusiasm. "I understand why that may have seemed like the logical thing to do, Stephanie."
The smile left her face as she lifted her eyebrow to ask, "But?"
"Relationships need to move forward to survive. What you two are doing is regressing. "
Defiantly, Stephanie shook her head. "But there's so much we didn't know about each other. We still have so much to work on. And we were separated. We can't just go back to the way we were before that happened," she insisted.
Both of Natalie's eyebrows lifted, challenging Stephanie. "It will take work to build that level of intimacy again, yes. But why can't you start doing that now?" When Stephanie sat in stunned, silent confusion, she decided to continue. She clasped her petite hands together and leaned forward a bit. "You've gone back to dating, Stephanie. You date someone that you don't know very well. It's a trial relationship. You want to see how someone would fit as a life partner. It's an unsure time; you're testing the waters, but haven't jumped in the deep end yet."
"I don't know how to do that," she admitted quietly. "Not anymore."
"Then you need to be able to admit to yourself and to Hunter that this trial period is for you. It isn't for you two as a couple."
Stephanie's eyes went wide and her mouth parted. "It isn't?" Christ, that made her sound selfish. Was she selfish? Was she actually hurting their relationship by doing what she thought was best to help it?
Natalie gave her a knowing smile, sensing where her thoughts had taken her. For the next few minutes, she reminded Stephanie of the numerous dates she and Hunter had gone on, how well their therapy sessions had been coming along and how he had basically done everything perfectly. "Tell me, exactly why you think it's a good idea to live apart from your husband and abstain from the physical aspects of your relationship."
Stephanie refused to give in so easily. She had clung, desperately to the hope that what she was having them do was a good idea. Every time she ached to be near him or touch him she had to remind herself that they were only dating right now. She couldn't lose sight of the notion that this would help them. She had to put her desires and her longing aside and tough it out for the good of their marriage. They couldn't be together until everything was sorted. "We're working on things," Stephanie nodded, to reassure herself. "We haven't fixed it. Not yet. We might fail. I'll have to pick up the pieces all over again," she rambled while she recalled the months she spent apart from Hunter. "It was so hard the last time. It took me so long to get to a good – no, a decent place. It's absurd to throw that all away and-and possibly have to do it all over again! It's too risky, it's-"
Stephanie stopped and looked up to see Natalie smiling at her sympathetically. "Oh, God," she groaned and flopped to lie down on the couch. "I'm scared to merge my life with his again," she realized, slapping a hand over her eyes.
Natalie leaned back in her office chair. "In psychology, we call that a breakthrough," she encouraged, passing the box of tissues to the whimpering brunette before her.
Now, they were really getting somewhere.
